MY PUSSY IS MAGIC

The she-larious Jessica Delfino

MINA: 1967

Michael Lucas claimed this was me caught performing in 1961. At age negative 1. I don't think so, but god! do I love this video and gown and hair-do and prancing!

MR? BILLIE MCALLISTER

Someone please tell me that they own this albumn and that it's as genius as it looks. It looks like the same series of Chitlins Circuit/ Rudy Ray Moore albums which included Mr. Jerry Walker THE FAIRY GODMOTHER, which contained the immortal line:




"I'm so tired of these clubs telling me to keep it (ie: my act) clean. Hell, I'm so clean I even mix my own douche powder. I mix alum, LSD and Kentucky Fried Chicken. The alum makes it tight, the LSD makes it outta sight, and the Kentucky Fried Chicken makes it fanger-lickin' good!"



QUEERMUSICHERITAGE.COM is a super site which contains huge images of drag recording artists through the ages. It even has Jerry's liner notes!

The dynamite Dolemite series also includes Queen Bee's/The Lady Reed's SENSUOUS BLACK WOMAN, with which Lypsinka's act often climaxes.

QUEEN BEE AN DOLEMITE RAP

QUEEN BEE HOOKING IN A TINSEL HAT WHICH IS MAKING ME CRY WITH JOY!

I SNATCHED BRITNEY'S SNATCH!

DRINKIE SCHWARTZ

GAY PLUSHIE PORN AT IT'S FINEST! ALL SET TO AN INSANE TABLA MEETS BLUEGRASS WITH A HINT OF ELECTRO-A-GO-GO SOUNDTRACK! LOVE IT WHEN THE CUTE TRICK (NOT THE ONE PICTURED HERE) GIGGLES AS THE BEAR'S GOOGLY EYES RATTLE!



A SYNOPSIS FROM THE SITE:

Plushie hasn't been getting out and about lately like he used to, mostly thanks to vodka, antidepressants, and the release of Golden Girls on DVD. This bear has been down on his luck with no job, no food, and no money. Bear can't get a break! So Plushie had no choice but to do what he does best: Turn on the videocamera and fuck!

PLUSHIESCHWARTZ.COM

A PRO-LIFE KILLA

Go figure!

I THOUGHT I COULD PARTY!

This is from a newsletter that I got from The Star. I'm very highbrow like that. I didn't see it on their site, so maybe it's unverified gossip. But damn! Cutting?

Lindsay Lohan Spinning Out of Control

While most celebs headed home for the holidays to be with loved ones, Lindsay Lohan avoided her mother’s house this Thanksgiving still upset about an attempted intervention, organized by Dina Lohan herself. Lindsay’s mom may have had good cause for worry, as recently things for this well-known wild child have taken a turn for the worse. On the morning of November 12th, Lindsay was found by a friend, cold and unconscious in her room at L.A.’s famed Chateau Marmont Hotel. The friend called a doctor, who was able to revive Lindsay, but discovered a bevy of dangerous drugs stashed in the young actress’s suite. Ranging from prescription downers such as Vicodin and Dilaudid (a drug 8x more powerful than morphine), sleep aides including Ambien, to cocaine and nitrous oxide gas commonly used to get high, Lindsay’s “supply” was nearly unlimited! The doctor who saved her was so outraged that he confiscated the pills and flushed her coke stash. But a few days later on Nov. 15th, Lindsay hadn’t learned her lesson, appearing at the World Music Awards in London visibly out-of-it and forgetting her lines, outraged that there wasn’t enough alcohol waiting in her room upon arrival. Lindsay is well-known for outrageous dressing room demands including 10 bottles of Cristal Champagne, and 10 bottles of Grey Goose vodka. Her recent appearances show that she should be cutting back on the sauce, not getting more, but at this stage in her career no one wants to tell Lindsay no, for fear of being cut from her life. With other worrying signs of distress such as a “fashionable” pill case from which she pops late night “vitamins” and cut marks on her wrists, it appears that Lindsay’s party lifestyle may be spiraling out of control!

BRITNEY'S SNATCH SNAPPED

In case you haven't seen it, Britney's shaved beaver is on display here: IDONTLIKEYOUINTHATWAY



(Personally, I'd rather see Kevin without knickers.)

BORAT SPLIT UP PAM AND KID?!?

(Via www.huffingtonpost.com)

Apparently, Kid arranged a screening of the film and for some reason, thought it made Pam look like a whore. It didn't, but why does he think Pam needs Borat to look like a whore? Isn't that why he married her? Cuckoo! Cockoo!

PAGE6

CARRIE-ING ON

Everyone's talking about Theatre Couture's CARRIE revival--opening soon. Sherry even found a way to call me old in an HX interview! (I may be old, but Shery's no spring chicken herself. And at least I ain't trying to play a teenager!)

HX.COM



HX: If you used real blood, who would you slaughter to get it?

SHERRY: We wanted to use the blood of Lady Bunny, but when we cut her, sand poured from the wounds. Then we tried Shequida, but there were too many “foreign substances” and I’m a purist. In the end, we decided to use me as a sacrifice because I am a virgin. Carrie, 7:30pm, Dec. 2–30 @ PS 122, 150 First Ave (Ninth St), 212-352-3101, $18.



And this from the NY Times:

From "Pygmalion" to "Hairspray," the ugly duckling transformation is one of the great theatrical narratives, but it's one that went disastrously astray in the überflop Broadway musical version of STEPHEN KING's "Carrie" in 1988. So it was with some trepidation that Theater Couture, which occupies the furthest edge of the camp gay fringe, approached Mr. King in 2002 about taking a different stab at his novel. "We argued that 'Carrie' is a modern-day, upside-down Cinderella story, the tale of the ultimate outcast," said ERIK JACKSON, who was seeking to write the adaptation. "And who better than a big group of outcasts like us to do it in a way that would be funny and yet touching?"

Mr. King agreed, and so a nonmusical "CARRIE" rises from the dead this week in Theater Couture's production, which stars Keith Levy (a k a Sherry Vine) as the girl with a grudge and the telekinetic powers to indulge it. Part of the fun of camp theater is seeing what can be done with Scotch tape and glitter, but in this case the effects — flying Tupperware, deadly prom decorations and, most tellingly, an exploding heart — are by the top-drawer theatrical illusionist BASIL TWIST. "And we use real human blood," Mr. Jackson added, unreliably. Camp is often belittled as failed wit, but it is better understood as a form of revenge and rescue, which may make it a perfect match for both Carrie, the character, and "Carrie," the show. Mr. Jackson calls his adaptation "heartfelt camp," by which he means that the winks and exaggerations are disciplined in service of a larger point. Which is? "If you pick on people long enough, they're going to get angry."

SPEECHLETH

Look out Priscilla! There's a new queen from down under.

TOMBOY SINGS OK2BGAY

THIS IS RICH

A montage of clips from Seinfeld (which I never got in the first place and despised that hideous slap bass played in between segments) and Michael Richards Laugh Factory tirade. They really did their research and grabbed some perfect bits and pieces featuring Kramer. Even one where he's in blackface!

NATIONALLAMPOON

IF A CIVIL WAR FITS, YOU CAN'T ACQUIT

Maureen Dowd Links Bush to O.J.: If a Civil War Fits, You Can't Acquit

By E&P Staff

NEW YORK With a timely reference to the rise and fall of the O.J. Simpson tell-some book (and what she's calls the "Thanksgiving Day Massacre" in Iraq) Maureen Dowd in her Saturday column for The New York Times suggests that President Bush go on Fox News and declare, "IF I did it -- here’s how the civil war in Iraq happened.”

READ THE REST: EDITORANDPUBLISHER

NOT FOZZIE, TOO!

BOYS BEWARE!

An anti-homosexual ad campaign which was apparently shown along with movie trailers! Too bad it's too short to masturbate to. Well, on anti-depressants, anyway.

YOUTUBE

EYELASH IMPLANTS

They graft 'em off yo head! The funny thing is, the end result pic doesn't make the procedure look very effective. They've done it for years on burn victims, but since they take the new lashes from head hair, it continues to grow and therefore must be regularly cut and curled to match your original thin lashes. Otherwise it might look like a combover toupe--on your eyes!

We are given ridiculous images on mascara commercials--whouldn't it be considered false advertising to show lengthening, strengthening mascara commercials in which the girls, as they usually are, wearing false eyelashes. The asians want thicker, longer, lashes and curly hair. The blacks want thinner noses, straighter hair and lighter skin. The whites want fuller lips, more exotic cheekbones and tans. Let's all become the same race!

By Julie Scelfo Newsweek

Nov. 17, 2006 - Ever since she was a child, Alevé Loh, a 30-year-old marketing manager in Los Angeles, wanted thicker eyelashes. "I'm half Asian and I've got those Asian eyelashes, very short and straight. My best friend always had amazing huge, big eyelashes. I was like 'I want those!'”

READ THE REST: WWW.MSNBC.COM

BEWARE THE FAULTY DC-9 AIRCRAFTS

This is scary for anyone who travels frequently by plane!!!! Actual crack in a US Airways DC-9 window frame! Fliers beware of the sub standard maintenance on the airplanes that you fly on. You won't believe this when you see it. This is an actual crack that was found in the window frame on a DC-9 and could have caused a major in-flight problem! I sent this to a friend in aircraft certification to see what action the FAA could take on this problem. Scroll down:

EASIEST DONATION EVER

After I was just bitching about drug companies!

As World AIDS Day approaches (Dec. 1), we are reminded that millions of people need our help with the AIDS pandemic, but we often think, "What can I do?"

Here is one simple way you can help, and it costs you nothing but a moment and a mouse click.

Bristol Myers Squibb will donate $1 for every person who goes to their web site and lights a candle to fight AIDS, up to a max of $100,000 (chump change for them, but we'll take it). At this point, the counter is just over 26,000... so we need many more candles lit.

Please go to this link to light a candle... and help spread the light.

:LIGHTTOUNITE

WHISPERS AT THE PYRAMID IN !988

Nelson Sullivan shot me backstage with Jayne County, Constance and working my own hair, the sleeves of a long-sleeved leotard tied behind my head as a make-shift halter and an acid-wash denim skirt! GAG! YOUTUBE

BUSH AND CONDI: HU'S ON FIRST?

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China. A remake of the Abbott
and Costello classic from an Australian Politics Website: http://australianpolitics.com/news/2002/11/02-11-23.shtml

We take you now to the Oval Office, with George W. Bush and Condoleeza Rice.



George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

HERE'S THE WHOLE CONVERSATION ANIMATED--A CLASSIC: METACAFE.COM

I'VE BEEN BUSY!

FROM A MYSPACE PAL:

This is an ACTUAL quote from a CNN news article concerning the serial prostitute murderer currently terrorizing the hookers in Atlantic city:

Bunny, a prostitute and drug dealer who works out of the same Pacific Avenue motel as Christine, said she will no longer accompany clients to motels on the Black Horse Pike, locals' name for the seedy stretch of Route 40 in Egg Harbor Township where the bodies were found.

"That's just too dangerous," said Bunny, who plans to concentrate on selling drugs instead of sex this week. "You can't let your guard down, even for a minute."

DRUG CO'S MAKE ME SICK!

Though I suppose they're no worse than other lobbyists. This leaked memo from GlaxoSmithKline says it all:

Drug companies are particularly hungry for Democratic help, including the industry's trade association. "We woke up the day after the election to a new world," said Ken Johnson, spokesman for the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America. "We're going to have tough days ahead of us."

A post-election e-mail to executives at the drug company GlaxoSmithKline details just how tough. "We now have fewer allies in the Senate," says the internal memo, obtained by The Washington Post. "Thus, there is greater risk over the next two years that bad amendments will be offered to pending legislation." The company's primary concerns are bills that would allow more imported drugs and would force price competition for drugs bought under Medicare.

The defeat of Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) "creates a big hole we will need to fill," the e-mail says. Sen.-elect Jon Tester (D-Mont.) "is expected to be a problem," it says, and the elevation to the Senate of Rep. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) "will strengthen his ability to challenge us."

WHOLE ARTICLE: WASHINGTONPOST

ANYONE STILL HUNGRY?

JENNIFER HOLIDAY ON DREAMGIRLS

There's some interesting background info on the showstopper here. I do recall that Jennifer's second song, the incredible drag classic I AM CHANGING, was added to the musical to make the most of Jennifer's immense talents. And I did think it was odd that they used Jennifer's version of AND I AM TELLING YOU in the movie's trailer. I also thought it was just plain dumb that in the early 60's Supremes looks, Beyonce and co were wearing big 60's wigs without big lashes. Then again, it could be said that I'm a little over-partiall to big lashes.



FROM AN INSIDE EDITION INTERVIEW:

Jennifer Holliday, the original Dreamgirl, who created the breakout role of Effie White twenty years ago on Broadway, says she's very disappointed at her lack of involvement in the soon-to-be-released film version of Dreamgirls.

"I'm not going to lie - I did have hopes that I would reprise the role for the screen. What I wasn't prepared for was not to even be asked to do a cameo of some sort," Holliday told INSIDE EDITION's Deborah Norville.

Holliday says the filmmakers use her voice for the hit song, "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going," to market the movie.

"For six months they used my voice on the trailer," Holliday told INSIDE EDITION, explaining she doesn't want people to think she's angry, but admits the resurgence of interest in the Dreamgirls story is extremely bittersweet for her.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

DETAINED IMAMS

As you probably know, six muslim clerics were removed from a US Airways flight after they were seen praying. One passenger claimed he overheard them making anti-US remarks. I make US remarks, so I can't fault them for that or the way they pray.

But we're on high alert and there were standard warning flags even before other passengers complained.

A couple of them had one-way tickets.

A couple had no checked baggage.

They did not sit in their assigned seats.

They asked for seat belt extensions when the flight attendants didn't think they were necessary. (Weird! They normally offer the extensions to me!)

On their own, these don't seem like much. But if these are standard alarm bells, I'd rather the airline yank me or anyone else off a plane for safety's sake. I will concede that we should be made more familiar with muslim prayer rituals, which struck me as very odd on a recent flight. Muslims might be alarmed to see a catholic crossing themselves. But flying a month ago, I saw a young muslim woman at a departure gate whose eyes were rolling back in her head as she quickly read from a Qu'oran (sp?) and muttered wildly--for 15 minutes. I was immediately alarmed and thought is this suspicious behaviour? Should I report it or is that prejudiced? Is that just the way these people pray or is this woman reciting an especially lengthy and passionate suicide bomber's prayer? After I realized she wasn't on my flight, I decided to do nothing, but did check the news later to see if any incident had occurred in her destination of Fort Lauderdale. It hadn't, but I guess it's better safe than sorry. So these guys were yanked off a plane and detained for 45 minutes. I'd rather deal with their ire than an explosion. If I saw a christian spaking in tongues I'd also be wary of boarding a plane to Armageddon with them.

STILL FEELING HOPEFUL

Maybe I'm being naive, but I can't help thinking that the OJ fiasco and the democratic election are connected in some way. Even though the same corporations which run 90% of the TV news forcefeed us republican talking points daily, the people, even evangelicals, stood up and said "No, this is not the way we want to be governed." Stupid-ass Bush visiting Vietnam? Here in the US, republican congressional hopefuls were so eager to avoid want his bad rep that they refused to be seen with him on the campaign trail. Who the fuck wants to see his ass overseas? He can't even win over his own people! Though I must say, you look prettier in a dress than your dowdy-ass mom.



And though I'm certainly not PC myself, the totally tasteless notion of OJ's book and interview series on Fox in which he specualates on how he would've murdered people who he probably did murder caused such an overwhelming outcry that it was cancelled. Again, the public has spoken. This is not government and the blueprint of a grisly slaying are not entertainment. Are we getting our voices back and questioning things--or at least starting to? Whether you're a little old lady in Topeka or a little old drag queen in NYC--ok, so I'm not little-- if you make yourself heard, there's strength in numbers and the government, like Fox TV and OK's publisher, can't function without our support. Or our coins. Perhaps if we make a big enough stink, advertisers will abandon Fox. Or at the very least perhaps that granny in Kansas will start to doubt the the validity of Fox news, now that we plainly see where Fox is coming from: conservative values except when it comes to making money by glorifying a murdering pig--and doesn't OJ beat his current mate? (I smell a reality show.) Let's continue to make a stink and take 'em all down.

CRAPPY THANKSGIVING!

From "The Week" magazine (11/24/06)

"A bad week for family vacations, after a Greyhound bus traveling on an interstate highway in Ohio suddenly released the contents of its toilet, and they poured through the open sunroof of the Ford Explorer next to it. Robert Stokes, his wife Angela, and their three children were drenched in a mixture of urine, feces, and toilet paper, and are now seeking $280,000 in damages."

THE IMELDA COLLECTION!

Check the flash on her intro page--so grand!



"The Imelda Collection was an inevitable beginning of an accessories line derived straight from the overflowing accessories trove of Imelda Romualdez Marcos. In the words of her daughter, Philippine Congresswoman Imee Marcos, “She has always been an accessories maven of the first order.”

"Femininity

Whether ladylike or girlish, whether regal or swinging sultry, the Imelda Collection is at all times, feminine. Elements like Mother Nature’s creations are present - butterflies, puppies, flowers, birds, guppies. But a girl’s favorite things—charms of shoes and bags, perfume bottles, also form an integral part of the collection. In place of hard-edged metalwork, there is lace in silk and frilly wire. Victorian and Elizabethan styles such as cameos are chosen over more modern deconstructive designs."

IMELDACOLLECTION.COM

PUT SOME GRACE IN YOUR FACE

From my girlfriend Noel Alicea, MK?

Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend, I'll be joining my friend Jeff Jackson as the
"guest DJ" for this month's installment of Double Headed Disco:
Don't Forget to Say Grace, the second annual Grace Jones night.



I don't mix but I will get to play some of my favorite disco classics and I will
put some Grace in your face.

Double Headed Disco
Saturday, November 25
Nowhere Bar
322 E 14 Street (between 1st and 2nd Ave)
NYC

NO COVER
NO SHADE

DOO DOO CACA

My fav video of all time, starring Hitler, Queen Elizabeth, Yoko Ono, MLK and the KKK!

ALBINOBLACKSHEEP

TO MY DEAR READERS...

BARBIE: THE SLUTIEST (sic) ROLE MODEL

Demented trash from Lady Esther Gin: YOUTUBE

PINK KEN

I really enjoyed this article on London's gay-friendly mayor Ken Livingstone in Vancouver's gay rag XTRA WEST. The mayor's straight, but has always championed gay rights and recently gave the homos Trafalgar Square for their pride rally. It kind of makes you feel guilty when a straight guy is doing more to champion equality than we're doing ourselves. Of course he's in a position of more power as a mayor to effect changes or donating city squares than you or I, but you get my drift. And it's a fascinating profile wiht broader issues than just London.

Here's an excerpt:



A worldly man, he's also brimming with confidence about the prospect of gay rights progress around the globe.

"I mean, on this march today, we've got people from Venezuela, and you can't have a more macho culture than Latin America," he says. "Yet Hugo Chavez, the president of Venezuela, has written in his constitution rules against homophobia, has declared Caracas a homophobia-free zone.

"And if you can make those changes in Latin America, there's nowhere in the world where eventually we can't change."

Livingstone expects to help make those changes, and does not limit his efforts to his London jurisdiction. Earlier this year, he spoke out against both the mayor of Moscow and the president of Poland. Both leaders attempted to ban Pride marches and later condoned the violence that met gay activists who defied the bans.

After Moscow's Pride ended in bloodshed, Livingstone announced, "To see open fascists and Nazis parading in Moscow, and assaulting lesbian and gay people, is to trample on the memory of all those who fought against Nazism and particularly the 27-million Soviet citizens who died in the fight against fascism."

Livingstone shares with me his recipe for social harmony, whether in diverse London or in places where gay rights are unknown. "You have to actually say to religious fundamentalists, whether they're Christian, Jewish or Muslim, what they're doing and saying is unacceptable," he says unequivocally.


Here, here! The full article is here: XTRA.CA

There's also a sister article following this one about how Mayor Livingstone outraged gays by inviting a fundamentalist muslim cleric, whose official muslim view is to execute gays, to be an honored keynote speaker in London.

Defending his choice, Livingstone has this to say:

"You aren't going to change the Muslim world from outside screaming at it. It will be changed by Muslims from inside. Women who demand power, lesbians and gays who fight for change. And therefore, you need to ally yourself with the most progressive elements of the Islamic world."


(OK, I didn't know there were that many progressive muslim elements, but I suppose that's why it's important to ally ourselves with the ones that exist. On that note, I intend to suck a muslim cab driver this evening.)

MR CLEO

A personal ad from a Jamaican DL married gay. Is this a joke? And what is a pikni-dem?

WAH GWAAN Bredren? Mi a marrid mon wid children so keep yo shit on da DL and COME KORREK!!Mi a real DL so mi like fi do anyting freaky in private wid mi big fat dick and big, wide, sloppy Jamaican batty 'ole. Mi dark skin, big bones, dreads, gold teet and errings and good-lookin Rude Rasta Mon. Mi like fi suck dick, nyam azz, drink man juice den mi ah go ah mi yad and kiss mi wifey and mi pikni-dem. 'olla from Little Kingston (Canarsie/East Flatbush).

In Jamaica, mi was fist-fucked 3 times onnah kokonut tree. Dats one, too, tree times! CALL ME NOW!


Call me now! Sounds a little like Miss Cleo, who by the way, was one of the OUT 100 chosen this year by OUT magazine. (She came out last year.)

And speaking of Miss Cleo, NYC drag Milan (who now dances back-up with Lady Miss Kier) has a video on youtube of a song she wrote about the TV psychic.

GET IT, GIRL!

A spirited lip-synch of Shirley Bassey's Bond classic DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER...in sign language!

DISCO MAUSOLEUM!

A tribute to deceased disco singers with pix and bios of each--from Yvonne Fair (IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME) to Divine an Andy Gibb.

DISCOMUSEUM

NATIONAL TOILET DAY

FROM THE EZINE POPBITCH:




Sunday is World Toilet Day. Did you know:

1. The average person visits the toilet 2500
times a year, or about six-eight times a day. You
spend about 3 years of your life in the toilet.

2. A woman spends, on average, three times longer
on each toilet visit, yet there usually the
same number of toilets in each public convenience.

3. When Madonna performed last year on German TV
show Wetten Dass, she refused to use their
toilets. The show's producers had to use a crane
to bring Madonna's own personal 18 square metre
luxury toilet into the grounds.

4. The Queen has to have a new toilet seat
everywhere she visits. It is then destroyed
if she "goes".


And also from popbitch.com, ain't this some shit?


"Singing is a gift from God, and when
people say I can't sing, it's kind of like
insulting God." - Fergie, Black Eyed Peas

Uh yeah, kind of. So when I say that my shit really stinks, since God made me shit, it means God really stinks, too?

CRYSTAL MAKES YOU SEXY!

YOUTUBE

LITTLE MISS ECHO

FROM YOUTUBE: Vintage TV commercial for the "Little Miss Echo" doll. The crazy girl looks about 16 years old, much too old to be playing with dolls. Judging by her demented and excited facial expressions, perhaps she is a lonely simpleton whose parents have her locked away from the world.

YOUTUBE

CAROL'S LOST IT!

Carol, I love ya love love ya love ya, but either you've changed your views on gays or you've gotten senile and don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

LAST YEAR:

“Gay people are my favorites,” Channing told the Windy City Times last year. “Gay people just know people that are talented. They just know. I’m their queen!”


LAST WEEK:

KK: You seem to have a very large gay following. Have you ever thought about why?

CC: I don’t think about them. I’m grateful that they seem to like me. They’re terribly loyal to me. But I’m knee-deep in the Bible and you know what it says about that.

KK: Alright.

CC: Oh, dear. Is this for a gay publication? Have I offended you?

KK: Yes. For the Gay People’s Chronicle. Right now, it’s really not my job to be offended or not be offended. I am just asking questions and reporting answers. I read that you have fought for gay rights. Do you think that the things gay people are fighting for are important?

CC: I don’t think about it. If they can’t take care of their own problems, why should I bother. It’s not my problem.

KK: I see.

CC: At one time there were seven men doing me in Las Vegas. I began to wonder if I had a glandular problem. But you know that the Bible says that that’s not the way it’s supposed to be.

FULL ARTICLE: GAYPEOPLESCHRONICLE

Now on Queerty, Carol's publicist is discrediting the interviewer, and saying that sections are taken out of context, etc. But it seems unlikely that someone is out to make a name for themselves (especially when you already have a name like Kaizadd Kotwal) by bashing a dithering gay icon--what's the point? She''s hardly been "hot" years. Who'd want to bring her down? A sick queen interviewer? I doubt it. I think it's more likely that Carol's senile and forgot not to express her true views in this chat. Of course, she did have a long abusive relationship with a shady, gay manager husband until she found true love with her childhood sweetheart. So maybe her resentment stems from this. I can't imagine that she'll have very full houses if the queens sense that Carol's doing a Donna Summer on them.

Whadda you think?

TRANNYSHACK APPROACHING!

NO, I'M NOT WEARING A BLACK WIG. THAT'S HEKLINA, CREATRESS OF TRANNYSHACK



The Miss Trannyshack pageant, which I'll help judge along with Lady Miss Kier and Alexis Arquette, will take place this Saturday in San Fran. I'm currently in Vancouver shooting a low budget cable show but we've been having a blast with the demented HOUSE oF VENUS crew, Cotton, DJ Dickie Doo, Director Mark Kenneth Woods, photographer Nicholas Jang and Pussy. One tragic skit features me as a belly dancer. And what a belly it is! Don't worry, my navel isn't exposed. But I am cast/typecast as a belly dancer with irritabe bowel syndrome. Don't ask. We also attempted a choreographed-on-the-spot-with-wine "dance" routine which is pictured below.



We were later joined by these adorable drag kings. Just one more glass of wine and I would have allowed the "guy" on the left to have me. I'm not above an occasional mercy fuck. Occasional, you sneer?



Anyhoo, tonight's WIGGLE, Vancouver's own version of WIgstock, then more filming on Friday, and off to Miss Trannyshack on Saturday. Heres an interview publicizing the pageant by Sister Dana Van Iniquity, which appears in the SAN FRANCISCO BAY TIMES.

Go to the Pageant, in the name of Heklina, Lady Bunny and Juanita MORE! Pictured: Heklina.

In case you’ve been living under a sequined, glittered rock, and didn’t realize it, the Miss Trannyshack 2007 Pageant is coming to The Regency Center on Nov.18. So naturally, your reportress had to get an exclusive interview of three of the fiercest drag queens that will be there. I spoke with Co-hostess Heklina, Co-hostess Miss Juanita More, and one of the judges, The Lady Bunny. Here’s the dish!

(Sister Dana) When did you first know you were a drag queen? An actress?

(Heklina) I first knew I was a drag queen when I tried on one of my sister’s skirts when I was 7 years old and it looked better on me than it did on her…I loved the way it twirled! I know I’m an actress every time I bump into you Sister Dana and I act like I’m happy to see you….I should win an Academy Award for that one!

Juanita: Damn, Sister Dana are you really just trying to find out my age? Well, I’ve considered myself a working drag queen for 15 years.

Lady Bunny: Well, in first grade, my school put on a “talent” show. I played a snake charmer, complete with a gold lamé turban, harem pants, and slanted eye make-up, which attempted (sloppily) to mimic my idol, Barbara Eden. Although I traded in the turban for a blonde wig, I’ve charmed quite a few “snakes” since then! I realized that I was an actress as a child. I would act like I didn’t want to be raped.

FULL INTERVIEW: SFBAYTIMES.COM

YUMMY TURKEY RECIPE

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! (A recipe from Lady Esther Gin's mom)

>...Here is a recipe I thought you would like for the holidays!
>
>Ingredients:
>1 whole chicken or turkey
>1 large lemon, cut into halves
>sprig of rosemary
>salt and pepper to taste
>butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer
>
>Heat oven to 350 degrees
>
>Rub butter or oil over the skin of the chicken/turkey until it is
>completely
>coated.
>
>Sprinkle with salt and pepper and any other seasonings you prefer.
>
>Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat;
>
>
>
>Slide lemon halves under the skin with the peel side up, one on
>
>each side. This way the juice from the lemon will release into the
>breasts.
>
>
>Place sprig of rosemary into the chicken/turkey.
>
>Cover and bake for 30-45 minutes. Remove cover and continue
>
>to roast until juices run clear, basting every 15-20 minutes.
>
>
>If you've followed these steps correctly, your chicken/turkey should
>
>look like the one in the picture.

THE OLD LIGHTER TRICK

It's still a gas!

YOUTUBE

HEE HEE!

BONNIE CLYDESDALE

FAYE GOT SOME NEW HORSE-CHOMPERS!

Apparently, Faye's had some work. I think it looks pretty good. I mean the teeth are huge, and I generally don't like it when the tooth is lighter than the whites of the eye. But having just seen Miss Dunaway in THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR on TV last night literally assaulting the camera with a an arsenal of beige-blonde braid sculpture hairdos--just when you couldn't take another she'd pop on a powder blue fedora--I really don't care how she looks now. That goddess was captured on film looking so unbelievably stunning so many times in that one film that she doesn't ever need to show her face again. I guess she doesn't feel that way, but I don't think she looks too different except for her blindingly white veneers. They're really huge too, though she may be just getting long in the tooth, as they say. And she's definitely from a pre-flossing era so perfect teeth aren't to be expected. But if UK papers take the piss out of your piss-colored teeth, they must have been pretty bad.



Now I didn't say that she didn't look completely crazy and phony. But she's still a fox of sorts. I mean, look how little eye make-up she's wearing in the top pic. To my many straight male redaers, would you fuck her 65 year-old puss? How about mine?

Anyhoo, you gotta love an article which begins with:

Crooked and yellowing, they're exactly the kind of teeth that any pensioner could expect to sport. Except in Hollywood, that is.

And especially not if you happen to be Faye Dunaway - one of the most definitive faces of the 70s with trademark good looks and immaculate appearance.

FAYE "DONE AWAY" WITH HER OLD TEETH

BRITNEY BREAK-UP CLUES

EDNA

OK, so I know I go on about myspace in a last ditch attempt to appear youthful, but not everyone on there is an underage internet slut. There's also Edna. Edna Klink, to be be precise.



This li'l darlin' is a 94 year old swinger who writes poetry. Like this one she wrote just for Thanksgiving!

Howdy Folks, Edna May Klink here. Thanksgivins gettin pretty dang close so's I writed all my friends a real purty Thanksgivin Prayer/Poam. If Yous like it maybe you can cut it out and read it to your kin at the dinner table on thanksgivin day. Edna

Dear Lord,
Bless the roaches that crawl on our floor
Bless the garbage we throw out the door
Bless the scabbies that are on my feet
Bless the possum we are about to eat

Dear Lord,
Bless the bar-room where we dance and drink
Bless Billybob in spite of his stink
Bless my new teeth which help me eat meat
Bless the dancin boots I wear on my feet

Dear Lord,
Bless my dawg Blue and the coons he's treed
Bless the roadkill from which we feed
Bless my trailer its such a beauteful place
Bless myspace folks there the friends I embrace

But Most Of All Dear Lord,
Bless our soldiers that fight in Iraq
Bless our outhouse that sits out back
Bless my family and all their brats
Bless my hounds and my 22 cats

Check her out at EDNAKLINK!

THE BRAN FLAKES

If you like nutty music, check out these guys on myspace. My fave is GOOD TIME A GOO GOO, which samples a SESAME STREET track. Especially fun to watch with their trippy dancing .gif while high. Uh, I'm tol.



We are The Bran Flakes and we are very happy that you came to visit us. We have many fun things for you. We hope our music brings you smiles and dreams of happy things. We like to scour records and tapes for aural delights and we believe that every record has at least ONE redeeming quality, maybe a snare drum or a man yelling "buttermilk," a bird chirping or a crispy bit of record crackle, and we try to mix them into something new in hopes of conjuring up happy memories of your first kiss, the experience of getting a new puppy or the childhood excitement of going to the fair and having cotton candy on a cool autumn day. The Bran Flakes live performances transform into a circus, with audience participation, dancing animals and video collage.

SO GO VISIT THE BRAN FLAKES, ALREADY!

MADONNA ON OPRAH SKIT BY BO!

Honey, I know I've put up a lot of video clips lately, but this one is mind-numbingly hysterical. So if you're gonna pick only one to watch: MAKE SURE IT'S THIS ONE

Does anyone know more about this Bo!? Too much!

CRAIG FERGUSON ON RUMMY

A cute bit: YOUTUBE

I TRY NOT TO BE WEIRD

Golly gosh. I thought I was looking halfway decent the night I attended Heatherette's fashion show in Bryant Park. I posed for Timothy Greenfield-Saunders apres le show but apparently, my "style" doesn't translate acraoss the Atlantic. (As if it does on this side!) Anyhoo, the pic ended up in a book about backstage at fashion week.

From today's UK TELEGRAPH:

Look: Portraits Backstage at Olympus Fashion Week.

There are those you would expect to see, such as Nicole, Lindsay, Paris, plus some more unlikely characters - whoever took Salman Rushdie for a fashionista? - along with a few downright oddballs such as the drag queen Lady Bunny in her matching faux-zebra coat and boots.

'The tents have become the place where the fields of fashion, Hollywood, music, television, sport, business, society, even porn come together,' Greenfield-Sanders tells me when I join him during a frenetic evening at the shows. 'This book offers a glimpse into that amazing mix, and there are people from all those worlds in there.'



Well, at least I was matching. And for the record, it was a zebra cape! Hmmph!

KISSING TEST

A lip balm marketing test with a demented twist! FILECABI.NET

ME KRYSTLE, YOU JOAN

Simon Doonan, author of WACKY CHICKS and long-term window-dresser at Barney's, was asked to help promote Joan Collins' new tome, THE ART OF LIVING WELL, at a recent Barnes and Noble book-signing. Though he'd submitted his questions in advance at her request, Joan arrived and wasn't having it. Maybe she wasn't just playing a bitch on DYNASTY... Anyway, here's Simon's delightfully-written account of the heart-breaking fiasco: OBSERVER.COM



An excerpt:

Enter La Collins. When the events manager introduced us, Joan, who was wearing black satin slacks with a fab chinoise-y top with flyaway bits, recoiled in horror. “I knew nothing of this!” she gasped, splaying a hand on her upper chest and adding: “And I hate these kinds of surprises!” Sphincters tightened. Knuckles whitened. So great was the maquillaged septuagenarian’s displeasure that I began to have Dynasty déjà vu. I felt as though we were in the middle of a showdown in the lobby of the Mirage country club: Krystle and Alexis were about to slug it out and roll around on Borders’ mauve carpet.

NYC CLUBS STILL DYING

I hadn't heard a thing about this. But the ever resourceful /journalist Jonty Skruff sent this article out in his e-newsletter, which contains items of interest to clubbers from around the world. You can sign up for his newsletter by entering your email at www.skrufff.com. Someone commented last night that most parties are promotional events nowadays, while clubs, which are just for fun, are routinely sanitized. Of course, we know what goes in clubs and it isn't always legal, so there's plenty of sanitization to do. But why isn't anyone speaking out against NYC's archaic cabaret laws which are often the basis of these raids? I know that some are speaking out, but why doesn't the city government, which like Miami Beach, ought to realize that their cities' clubs are legendary as well as a source of income and tourism. I guess the promotional events pay better.

New York Party Police Hit 3 More Superclubs

Cops closed down the Roxy, Happy Valley and Avalon in New York City last week in
their latest onslaught against nightclubs in Manhattan.

While Roxy was shuttered for alleged non-payment of taxes and Happy Valley over
a property dispute with the buildings landlords, Avalon (formerly known as
Limelight) was shut for violating the Cabaret Laws, New York's infamous 1920's
era anti-dancing statutes.

According to press reports, Avalon promoters were unable to renew their Cabaret
License after being barred access from the building following an earlier raid,
which meant they couldn't obtain necessary paperwork in time. Leading club
promoter John Blair, who previously was forced to close Spirit and hosted Sunday
night parties at Avalon, as well as events at Roxy, told the Village Voice he
was disgusted by the latest police tactics.

"I've been in it (club promotion) for 30 years but no longer. I'm not going to
invest in anything or own anything in New York City again," he pledged, "The
police have turned the city into a Gestapo state."

Avalon co-promoter Susanne Bartsch, who was hosting a Halloween party at the
club when police raided at 1.45am, said she was personally harassed, with one
officer refusing to allow her back inside the building after she went outside to
meet her husband and deal with the raid.

"He was so disgusting, the policeman was willing to send me into the night
without a handbag, without money, without keys," she told New York Blade, "They
say they are trying to protect people, but it symbolizes how unreasonable they
are. They are just out to get the clubs."

Avalon director of operations Ricky Mercado was equally angry, declaring 'it's
just like they are saying, 'Nightclubs—get the fuck out of New York City', while
Larry Tee, who was DJing at Avalon at the time, was marginally more sympathetic.

"The police weren't particularly threatening to me but were typically rude when
trying to clear the sidewalk out front," Larry told Skrufff, "The police wont
stop bothering the new owners of Avalon, until it is turned into a health food
store," he said.

Though Larry agreed the latest raids were 'a little extreme', he predicted they
will have little impact long term on New York's club scene, suggesting 'it's
healthy to have new places and club changes'.

"Club owners have long been avoiding taxes and promoters that work with them
should have more caution," he added.

"No-one ever talks about club-owners that are in it for the quick buck and don't
pay taxes on the revenues they take in. It's always the cops people blame
because they have a reputation after the Giuliani administration," he said.

MIKE JONES I'VIEWED BY JACK E. JETT

Mike is the hustler who outed pastor Ted Swaggard, which I believe led to, or certainly influenced, the 1/3 of evangelicals who uncharacteristacally voted democratic this week. It's a frank interview with a few sexual tid-bits like the excerpt below, but a really interesting point is that the guy's received no support from gay rights org's, yet Swaggard's own church has thanked Jones repeatedly for steering Swaggard back to the right path with his allegations of homo-sex and meth use. Hmmmm...





Was Reverend Haggard kinky in bed?

I'm not going to comment too much on kinkiness, but I can say that he certainly did enjoy having sex with me.

Would you call him vanilla?

Well, for the most part, I would use the term vanilla. But I guess every once in a while you could throw some chocolate in.


FULL INTERVIEW: RADARONLINE

MADONNA REINVENTED

A HYSTERICAL PARODY MEDLEY!

This parody re-imagines the Material Girl's re-inventions in a music video medley that lampoons her ever-changing identity and current adoption scandal. Featuring "Burning Up", which portrays her as a trashy upstart, "Justify My Love", which sees her as a slimmed-down seductress and "Hung Up", which features a cameo by David, her recent adoptee. Re-invented and re-conceived by Greg Scarnici.

YOUTUBE

PHAT NEW CALENDAR

FROM KRISPY KREME: CLICK ON PIC TO ENLARGE!

FROM THE ONION

I know, I know! It takes one to know one! But at least I wear bangs to chop my moose mug down a bit!

LOST CHURCHES IN NOLA

SOMEONE TELL ME THIS ISN'T TRUE:

Churches in New Orleans

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana actually aired
an interview with a black woman from New Orleans. The interviewer
was a woman from a Boston affiliate. She asked the black woman how
such total and complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives.
Without hesitation, the woman replied," I don't know about all those
other people, but we haven't gone to Churches in years. We gets our
chicken from Popeye's."

The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.


UNFORUNATELY THIS ONE IS TRUE: JUST 22 FAMILIES IN NEW OLEANS HAVE OBTAINED THEIR HOME GRANTS!


THIS ONE, I'M NOT SURE:

FROM THE TIMES-PICAYUNE:


Man dismembers girlfriend in Quarter; cooks body parts

A suicide note in the pocket of a man who jumped off the Omni Royal Orleans Hotel late Tuesday led police to the grisly scene of his girlfriend’s murder, where they found her charred head in a pot on the stove, her legs and feet baked in the oven and the rest of her dismembered body in trash bag in the refrigerator, according to police and the couple’s landlord.

BLACKENED GIRLFRIEND

GAY ANIMATED COMMERCIAL FOR AIDS

That's what it calls itself on youtube. It's a actually a french commercial for AIDS prevention. The animation is fantastic!

YOUTUBE

JOHN WAYNE GAY--SEE?

NOT WITH CAMEL-TOED HOT PANTS, A FEY-DORA, ESPADRILLES AND A MAN-BAG! Girl!

MARY "ARTHUR" POPPINS!

A SONG FOR TED HAGGARD, SUNG TO THE TUNE OF SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS. And it helps to do meth before attempting this tongue-twister.




SUPERTELEVANGELISTIC SEX-AND-DRUGS PSYCHOSIS

(Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion)

I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade
Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade
But if it's true I'm pounding more than pulpits, don't blame me
It's 'cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud's infirmity

Full lyrics at JOEMYGOD.BLOGSPOT.COM

WORK, DEAR ABBY!

GAY-BASHING BY SINGLE MEN IS NOT PROOF OF MANLINESS By Abigail Van Buren
Tue Nov 7, 8:04 PM ET



DEAR ABBY: When I go to parties or functions, I often hear subtle or direct gay-bashing. The source is never married people. Married people talk about their kids. No, it is usually single men, often ones who are ex-jocks.

I have also observed this behavior in different social settings and non-professional athletic competitions. The source is always single men.

I'm single and live with my girlfriend. After a divorce and two kids, I don't feel the need to justify that I'm a single man who likes women. (I didn't feel that way before I was married, either.)

I have never challenged these single men who put down gay people, so I don't know what's going on in their heads. I can only theorize that they "bash" gays in order to prove to the rest of us that they are heterosexual males.

Could you please explain to these people that others do not think they are gay just because they're single? Today, men and women stay single longer, and sometimes, by preference or fate -- never marry. Could you inform your readers what is going on out in the world -- at least the ones in this Midwestern city -- and suggest a retort? Perhaps when someone starts with a gay joke, the standard reply should be ...? -- SINGLE AND OFFENDED IN KANSAS CITY, MO.

DEAR OFFENDED: I agree with your theory that men who tell gay "jokes" are probably insecure on some level about their own masculinity. And the most deeply closeted or insecure can be the most vocal in an effort to hide their own leanings and fit in.

One way to discourage such comments when you hear them would be to reply, "I don't find that particularly funny. Why do you think it's funny?" Then let them try to explain. Or, you might say, "You might think that's funny -- but has it occurred to you that someone here might have a gay relative and be hurt by that kind of humor?" I'll bet the thought that they could be surrounded by people who think they are tasteless, insecure or not too bright has never occurred to them.

ALTERNATE ANSWER: SEVERELY BASH THE OFFENDERS WITH YOUR LIMP WRISTS WHILE VOGUING. AND BLOWING THEM. AND SWIPING THEIR WALLETS.

THEY CALL HER 'DARK CLOUD"

A babe in a video shoot in a hot tub really poops out.

ONE.REVVER.COM

MADAME'S PLACE WITH EVA GABOR

Wait til you see Eva's collar!

YOUTUBE

JESUS CAMP TO CLOSE

The summer camp featured in the documentary "Jesus Camp," which includes scenes with disgraced preacher Ted Haggard, will shut down for at least several years because of negative reaction sparked by the film, according to the camp's director.

"Right now we're just not a safe ministry," Becky Fischer, the fiery Pentecostal pastor featured in "Jesus Camp," said Tuesday.

The documentary, which hit select U.S. theaters during the summer, portrays Fischer, 55, as drill instructor to a group of young evangelical children steeling themselves for spiritual and political warfare.

Led by Fischer, the children pray in tongues, as is common in charismatic strains of Pentecostalism; tearfully beg God to end abortion; and bless President Bush at a weeklong camp in Devils Lake, N.D.

Fischer has drawn fire from some corners for "brainwashing" the children. After vandals damaged the campground last month and critics besieged Fischer with negative e-mails, phone calls and letters, the pastor said she's shutting down the camp for at least several years.

Hee hee! Read the rest: SEATTLETIMES

RUPAUL'S STARRBOOTY TRAILER

RuPaul's going back to his roots as the gun-toting blaxploitation vixen which he originated in Atlanta in the 80's. Also starring Lahoma Van Zandt, Candis Cayne, and porn stars Gus Maddox and Michael Lucas. And there's even a cameo by moi as a depraved, lusty lesbian! It will be available from Rupaul's site and at festivals nationwide.

YOUTUBE

TOP OF THE TALIBAN POPS

By an unknown author

Top of the Taliban Pops
War... what is it good for?

With Saddam on his way out, Gaza once again under Israeli tank fire and the Republicans booted out of Congress it's time to take a serious look at our War on Terror.... With a top ten:

1 Talibanana Boat Song - Harry Belafonte
2 Mullah Kintyre - Wings
3 Wuthering Shi-ites - Kate W. Bush
4 Ayatollah Lately that I Love You? - Van Morrison
5 Kabul up to the Bumper - Grace Jones
6 Yashmak My Bitch Up - The Prodigy
7 Hamas to Fall - Queen
8 Red Right Hand - Nick Cave and the Islamabad Seeds
9 Kandahar Days Night - The Beatles
10 (Sad)damn I wish I was your lover - Sophie B Hawkins

A PONYTAIL?

This pic is ID'ed as Zsa Zsa, but isn't it her sister Eva? I love both of them dearly, but how sick is that ponytail coming off of a bouffant?

SICK MYSPACE COMMENT

These comments on mypspace are very common, but this one has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen! I mean the sweetest! I mean the illest! I mean the scariest! Do I hear all of the above?



F U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA MOTHA FUKER THAT KILLED U!

..._...|..____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____|]= = = = = D
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a 13 your A TRUE HOMIE

NOT TO RUB IT IN...

But here's a touching tribute to some of our favorite ousted republicans called THE MORNING AFTER.

RAVEN O RETURNS!

AND SHE'S A MAN NOW! Well, sort of...



The legendary songster who created Bar D'O with Joey Arias is taking a break from the Las Vegas production of Cirque de Soleil's ZUMANITY to showcase some of her new work with a band. Raven is a fab vocalist, dancer and emcee. For more info and pix check out her/his RAVEN-O.COM.

December 14 - 7 pm, 9:30 pm, 11:30 pm
December 15 - 7 pm, 9:30 pm, 11:30 pm
December 16 - 8pm , 11:30 pm
December 17 - 4:40 pm, 7 pm

Helen's 169 8th Ave. NYC (18th/19th St.)

http://www.helensnyc.com

THONG INSTUCTIONS

THERE'S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO WEAR A THONG.

HERE'S THE RIGHT WAY:








AND THE WRONG ONE:







Blessed are the cracked, for it they who let in the light.