April 30, 2010

OH MY!

ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL SHUTTING DOWN



Just snapped this sad pic of St. Vincent's hospital closing and the emergengy room sign being taken down. I don't fancy myself a photographer but it was lucky for the pic (not for him) that a guy in a cast was walking by at that very moment as if he didn't know where to go for treatment now. Signs indicated that the nearest treatment center is going to be waaaay downtown.

THE DELIVERY!

1982 NIGHT OF 100 STARS!

CAN WE DISCUSS JUDITH JAMISON'S RUNWAY? AND NOTHING MOVES LIKE SILK CHIFFON! I WORSHIP ARLENE DAHL AND HAVE NO IDEA WHY! HOW SKUNK IS LONNIE ANDERSON'S PRAIRIE DRAG--COMPLETE WITH FOUL SQUASH BLOSSOM/GIBSON GIRL HAIR!


1982 Night of 100 Stars Fashion Show
Uploaded by ichiaki. - Discover more life & style videos.

MADDOW WITHERS AZ BILL'S AUTHOR!

LOVE THIS DYKE! SHE PUNISHES THIS TURD!

WATCH: MSNBC

PATHETIC NEW AD CAMPAIGN



I am not as cyber-oriented as many people so I ask you: Is this ad campaign for Svedka vodka not one of the worst in history? I enjoy futuristic imagery but who the f#ck looks at this ad which asks "RU bot or not?" and thinks Oh, I'm bot and then buys this vodka? Bot presumably being a cuddly abbreviation of robot. I find it hard to believe that this idea tested favorably with market researchers.

SPILL, BABY, SPILL!

The oil spill hit land today and could be worse than the Exxon-Valdez spill. Sarah Palin and Michael Steele have had nothing to say about this, even though they claim that off-shore drilling is environmentally safe. And Obama should be cursed for recently throwing conservative crazies like them a bone to develop more o...ff-shore drilling. Obama is now forced to reconsider something which should have been obvious in the first place. Note to Obama: Throwing someone a bone is hardly going to satisfy a crew who wants your blood.



FROM HUFFPO:


'Drill, Baby, Drill' Champions Silent On Gulf Oil Spill

More than a week has passed since the Deepwater Horizon rig exploded 50 miles off the Louisiana coast, killing 11 workers, injuring over a dozen more, and causing a massive oil spill that may eclipse the Exxon Valdez.

Yet the two most prominent political champions of offshore drilling -- Sarah Palin and Michael Steele -- appear not to have uttered a word about the incident.

MORE: HUFFPO

April 29, 2010

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS...

US TROOPS LIP-SYNCH TO LADY GAGA'S TELEPHONE. FROM D-LISTED.

H.R.H. PRICESS DIANDRA: THE SPIRT'S IN IT

MICHAEL ALIG'S INTERVIEW INTERVIEW



It is immediately evident how intelligent and charming Alig can be. Some former friends have called Alig a sociopath; others—like Cassidy—a very good human being who made a terrible mistake while under the hold of drugs. Alig does seem genuinely contrite. He clearly knows that it will be his good behavior—not the bad behavior that made him famous—that will bring him back into the world. He tells me after the interview, “I don’t want it to sound like I’m sensationalizing or glamorizing the past, because that makes me sound like I don’t care about what I did. And I do care.” One day, Alig will be back on the streets of downtown Manhattan. He may be as surprised by what he finds there as those who once knew him as the master of the Club Kid universe may be surprised by what they find in him.

INTERVIEW

LINDA SIMPSON'S CALL TO ARMS!

TO BAN TACKY TURQUOISE JEWELRY FROM ARIZONA!



READ: MY-COMRADE.COM

WILD RHYTHM TOWARDS THE END!

BANKING SYSTEM IS "DESIGNED TO FAIL"

Republicans want to keep a banking system which is "designed to fail" unless you're one of the few mega-rich who is profiting from their scam. Wake up, people! Republican politicians represent big business only but manage to trick people into supporting highway robbery by attaching hot button issues like abortion and gay marriage to their platform. Even if you're anti-abortion and anti-gay marriage, DO YOU WANT TO BE RIPPED OFF AND GO BROKE SO THAT A FEW VERY RICH PEOPLE CAN GET RICHER?

FROM HUFFPO byShahien Nasiripour

Elizabeth Warren: GOP Reform Plan Is A Failure, Republicans Choosing Banks Over Families



"I'm tired of hearing politicians claim to support families and, at the same time, vote with the big banks on the most important financial reform package in generations. I'm deep-down tired of it."

MORE: HUFFPO

R.I.P. MARC BERKLEY

N.Y. Nightlife Impresario Marc Berkley Dead at 56 by Steve Weinstein

Marc Berkley in a familiar position - surrounded by hot men.




There was a time when, if you were a gay man and you went out to a nightclub to dance, you were probably at a Marc Berkley event. A shy, insecure guy from Queens had so successfully reinvented himself that, for a bright, shining, moment (closer to the better part of a decade), he reigned as the king of the gay dance parties - as the New York media dubbed him.

When Berkley arrived on the scene, the city had already emerged successfully from the 1970s bankruptcy into the ’80s "Masters of the Universe" glitz of clubs like Area, the Palladium and even a renovated Studio 54. Above all was the Saint, the gay-only megaclub that had the best sound and light systems, a specially hydraulic dance floor and just about everything else that made the it finest dance space in the world.

Berkley became friends with Bruce Mailman and learned the basics of Nightclub 101 at the foot of the master impresario. Although his stint at the Saint was brief, he was able to take those lessons and apply them to other clubs. In the process, he would bring his own ideas, which flew off in every direction but often-enough landed to make a splash with clubgoers and the media.

Before the Saint, however, he had made his first contact with a man who would have a deep influence on Berkley’s career, Peter Gatien. The mysterious, one-eyed Canadian club owner hired Berkley to work as a publicist.

It was a heady rise for a kid self-described as fat, unattractive and deeply insecure. Berkley was born in the Bronx but spent most of his youth in Queens, N.Y.. He attended Central Michigan University, where he majored in social work. According to a 2001 profile in New York Magazine, he had planned on teaching emotionally disturbed children.

"Now," he said, in typically wisecracking Marc Berkley style, "I just throw them parties." In fact, after the Saint closed in 1988, he worked briefly as a child welfare investigator for the City of New York.

MORE: EDGEBOSTON

COTS!?!

I'm a fairly liberal democrat. I understand that some people are republican. I can't really understand why they are republican, but I'm sure they also question my beliefs. Don't get me wrong. I understand that we are all different and different upbringings and situations lead to different conclusions about politics. So while I would diasagree with republicans on most issues, there's nothing wrong with a healthy debate. There are people who cherish republican/conservative values. HOWEVER, the republican legislators are bogus and here is proof about how they don't even hold their own conservative values dear.



For days, republicans have sworn that they would filibuster THE DISCUSSION of Wall Street reform. Wall Street's crooked practices have had a huge part in our recession. How could any politician not want to solve the issue which created tons of foreclosures which forced people out of their homes? Far from solving the issue, republican politicians are so embedded with Wall Street special interests that they don't want to even discuss this? C'mon! It's absurd, but top republican legislators swore up and down that it was against their principles to discuss consumer protection from widespread shady investments. If they don't represent consumers, then they must represent banking interests which get rich by ripping us off.

But here's what's so crazy. Watch this clip. The republicans' commitment to filibuster based on their core principles vanished when faced with the threat of a televised overnight vote. The fact that it would be televised would show Americans. still smarting form being shafted by banks and Wall Street speculation, that republicans didn't even want to discuss this on camera and prove to viewers that they side with the very interests who have ripped us all off! If you are a republican, please explain to me how this can be ethical. To me it seems like the whole gang of repubs got caught out.

RACHEL MADDOW IT'S THE CLIP CALLED FACING THREAT OF LATE NIGHT, REPUBLICANS CAVE.

AUNT ESTHER/LAWANDA PAGE

This fool is beyond entertaining. The delivery and body language!

POLISH DIVORCE

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until
one
day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce
for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and
asked him the following questions:
L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It made of concrete.
L: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
P: No, we have carport, and not need one.
L: I mean.What are your relations like?
P: All my relations still in Poland.
L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
L: Does your wife beat you up?
P: No, I always up before her.
L: Is your wife a nagger?
P: No, she white.
L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She going to kill me.
L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof.
L: What kind of proof?
P: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover".

April 28, 2010

RING A BELL?

CRAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

25 BEST REDNECK WEDDINGS

HERE'S A TEASER...




MORE: COLLEGEHUMOR

I LOVE PORN!

I HOPE IT WORKS!

B-52S: PAPERBACK WRITER



AND WHILE WE'RE ON ODDITIES OF DAYS GONE BY...





April 27, 2010

AND THE WINNER IS...

PEOPLE! I can't believe the number of postings about how Raven was "robbed" when she didn't win RuPaul's Drag Race. Are you stupid? Do you actually believe that this is a true competition with realistic challenges?



On previous episodes, the queens have faced challenges where they sew, rap, appear in chicken costumes, put older, bearded men in drag etc.--none of which any successful queen needs to do. Entertaining yes, but hardly rooted in what a queen has to accomplish in order to make it. Queens all over the country ask me "How did that fat ugly gurl get on the show when they turned me down?" Are you not aware that they cast these shows based not on who the prettiest or most popular queens in the nation are but on the same basis that they cast all reality shows on: we need a bitch, someone who can't speak English, someone fat, someone retro, etc. in order to create conflicts and make dynamic TV on a show whose only plot is elimination. Don't snap when the formula you obviously love doesn't go your way, you big crybabies.

Was New York the prettiest girl to compete for the love of Flava Flav on Flavor Of Love? Did she even win? No, but she got her own show because she was a train wreck who made for compelling TV. They also brought her back on the second season to aggravate that group of girls, which has nothing to do with rules or fairness. That kind of mess is what reality shows are often looking for.

This year everyone wanted Raven to win. Last year everyone wanted Nina Flowers to win. And after she lost, Nina taped some promo for the next season's show saying something to the effect of "This season the queen who deserves to win will win." Don't you realize that the show is designed to push your buttons and it's working beautifully? Just because it's called reality TV doesn't mean that it's real. Enjoy the show as the hit cultural phenomenon it is but don't paint it as a serious competition showcasing the best drag talent in the land. It never tried to be that.

If you really want to get into it, why don't you claim that Tyra should be disqualified for having a silicone-pumped upper lip, since contestants aren't supposed to have had cosmetic procedures? I don't see why these girls pump the first lip only since the bottom lip is normally fuller than the top. I always gagged looking at Melanie Griffith's weird top-heavy lip. But what do I know? Melanie's misshapen mouth is on Antonio Bandera's d(ck and mine ain't. And now Tyra can take that prize money and use it to inflate her bottom lip. Maybe she can pump her son's lips too! Werk!

SIMON DOONAN ON IAN DURY

FROM THE DAILY BEAST:

Decades before Lady Gaga announced her desire to “take a ride on your disco stick,” there was Ian Dury, hilarious, horrible, wicked, and irate, screaming, “hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!” at the top of his lungs.

Hit Ian Dury? That would not be very nice. You don’t hit England’s most beloved low-life rock poet. You don’t hit the bloke who popularized the phrase, “Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll.” And you certainly don’t hit a cripple.

MORE: THEDAILYBEAST



BLESS THE KOOKS!

I MET OSCAR GOMEZ AKA MISS COLUMBIA AT A MACY'S EVENT. HYSTERICAL!



MORE: ESCAPENEWYORK

REAL/DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES



Countess Luann from one of those rotten Real Housewives shows has a dance track out on which she raps. The music is ok, but her vocal performance is a joke! If this is a hit then I'm going to quit djing.

LISTEN

JACKO INSPIRES FROM THE GRAVE

A DETROIT MICHAEL JACKSON IMPERSONATOR IS BUSTED FOR MOLESTING AN 11 YEAR OLD BOY.

MORE: DETNEWS

IN OTHER CHILD SEX NEWS, THE "RELIGIOUS" FREAKS IN UGANDA WHO WANT TO MURDER GAYS ARE NOW SHOWING GAY PORN TO KIDS IN CHURCH! AND IT'S NOT EVEN A CATHOLIC CHURCH!

MORE: HUFFPO

EVIL CLOWN FOR HIRE!



MORE: METRO

MORE AWFUL WHITNEY CONCERT FOOTAGE

FROM SCENESTIRZ.COM:

USA Today says that right after she viciously murdered I Will Always Love You, she stopped and told the audience, “She don’t want to come, my soprano friend. Sometimes the old girl sings, but not tonight. I want to do it, but she doesn’t want to. … She’s getting a little … temperamental, even.”

Whitney blamed it on the air conditioning in the arena, but she should’ve blamed it on a different kind of air: CRACK AIR. Whitney’s soprano friend isn’t coming back. She deleted her off of facebook and is happily living in the throat of Lin Yu Chun.

WHITNEY DOES A BUMP ONSTAGE AND FINALLY HITS THE RIGHT NOTE. Please tell me that she really doesn't snort coke onstage! Something is making her sweat like crazy.



AND HOW DOES SHE DO COKE AND GAIN WEIGHT? THE SAD THING IS THAT SHE KNOWS BETTER THAN ANYONE HOW BAD HER VOICE HAS GOTTEN.



MORE: SCENESTIRZ.COM

A MUST READ

BACK IN THE DAY BY CODY LYON


A New Yorker’s reflection of an earlier time in Manhattan, back when nightclubs were more than $300 bottles of vodka and when restaurants weren’t part of chains. Now, those were fun times.

A group of people are out cocktailing at one of Gotham’s countless bars, when suddenly, someone let’s out a loud “New York is so much fun!” Chances are the person doing the shouting is either young, new to the city, or simply here on vacation.

Invariably, you’ll see someone at another table (or possibly someone else in the same group) offering an eye roll, a chortle, or just a sigh. This, they’re suggesting, is nothing. New York City used to be much, much more fun a decade or two ago. There was a time in New York City when spontaneity permeated the air. Fun, or for that matter danger, lurked just around the next corner. Sometimes the two were one in the same.

These were the days when an artist, actor or writer could find a $500 studio apartment on the far reaches of Manhattan, like Alphabet City or the Lower East Side. Today, these are the neighborhoods New York magazine calls the most livable in Manhattan. And that studio now costs $2,000 a month, if you’re lucky enough to find it.

What I’m really talking about is New York City before Rudolph Giuliani became mayor in 1994 and made it his mission to install a series of quality-of-life laws upon the city. These measures eliminated spontaneous window washing by scary squeegee men on 9th Avenue, forced the X-rated shops along 8th Avenue to shut down, and increased the police presence throughout the city.

Before Giuliani, a sense of organized chaos ruled the street. Times Square was a risky-yet-thrilling proposition and the “Disneyfication” of 42nd Street had yet to take place. Manhattan was first and foremost a playground for adults, which meant that for the over-21 crowd, fun came out at night.

Read more: http://www.portfolio.com/views/columns/2010/04/26/cody-lyon-on-past-new-york-city-clubs-and-restaurants#ixzz0mIjqLj1y


MORE: PORTFOLIO.COM

PICKLE SURPRISE CONTINUES TO INSPIRE!



TOM RUBNITZ WOULD BE THRILLED. HERE'S THE ORIGINAL FEATURING SISTER DIMENSION, LAHOMA VAN ZANDT, MARIA AYALA, RUPAUL AND A YOUNG, THIN BUN-BUN!

VAGINAL DAVIS: SPEAKING FROM THE DIAPHRAGM

MAY 15TH-27TH AT PS 122



WINNER OF THE 2009 ETHYL EICHELBERGER AWARD

"A performance artist of underground legend." - Guy Trebay, New York Times

A performance piece that re-examines the heyday of 1970s American daytime television chat and variety programs. Taking the format of legendary talk shows like The Mike Douglas Show and Dinah!, which starred lesbian icon Dinah Shore. Ms Davis isn't interested in assimilating into the mainstream entertainment complex, but instead wishes to dissect a kind of TV staple and reconfigure it by presenting an array of live and Skype guests from the various worlds of literature, dance, theatre, film and art she has intersected in her over 30 year career as a performance and live artist, writer and cultural raconteur. With guest hosts, Downtown treasure Carmelita Tropicana,, and Jennifer Miller the famed bearded lady of Circus Amok expect ten days of the unexpected, the unusual and the sublime.



MORE: AEGROOVE

ANGELYNE SIGHTING!

FRED PHELPS JR. GETS GOOFED!

April 26, 2010

HEE HEE!

OUTRAGEOUS WIGS!












A REAL BUNNNY WIG!

ZINGERS FROM HOLLYWOOD SQUARES



Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.


Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.


Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.


Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..


Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..


Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.


Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..


Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..


Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.


Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

NOW FOR A LITTLE MISOGYNY!


Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.... It should be opened when she brings it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something
smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's
sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head
And a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------

PATTI LUPONE'S BOOK TITLE

THE BROADWAY DIVA ENLISTED THE HELP OF FANS TO COME UP WITH THE TITLE OF HER MEMOIRS. HERE ARE SOME REJECTED TITLES WHICH MADE PATTI LAUGH.

Among the titles that LuPone said made her laugh are: "Peaks & Valleys of The Doll"; "Patti LuPone: Not Just a Tap-Dancing Fascist"; "Curtains Up - Cell Phones Off!"; "The LuPone Trio Minus Two"; "'SHUT UP, IT'S BEEN TWENTY-NINE YEARS!' - Trials and Tribulations of a Tony Award Winning Actress"; "Shut Up, It's Been 29 Years! A Life in the Theatre"; "Born With A Trunk: Theatrical Musings By A Big-Nosed Diva"; "Don't Cry For Me, For Me, For Me, For Meee!"; and "Mein Kampf."

MORE: PLAYBILL

JUDY BEHIND THE SCENES!

SOME EVIL QUEEN FILMED JUDY REHEARSING AND MAN DID SHE CLEAN UP WELL! I LOVE THE GOWN AND THAT SMASHING SET!



HERE IS JUDY'S WARDROBE TEST FOR VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, IN WHICH SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE HELEN LAWSON ROLE. SO NUTS TO SEE HER IN GO-GO BOOTS AND A FALL!

April 25, 2010

CHRIS CROCKER BARES ALL!

April 24, 2010

CAROL CHANNING PRE-NOSE JOB!

AND PRE-EYELASHES!

"I'M A REAL HEALTHY GIRL."

"And you have to put out to get back." Hungh?

MY FAV DUSTY SONG!

WACKY!

Love the choreography. I do hate how he riffs on almost every note. This is a disease spread by the cheapest r&b singers. also despise how the producers feel the need to cut away to 2 guys offstage to say Awesone job. Why would you ever think to cut away from a fun performance? This is institutionalized ADD.



Something must be in the water in the Phillipines!

REDIFINING MAGGOT ASS

A REAL FLY GIRL!


April 23, 2010

WATCH BEFORE IT'S YANKED...OFF!

ARCHIE'S NEW GAY PAL

SET TO HIT RIVERDALE IN SEPTEMBER.


http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/books/04/23/archie.gay/index.html

CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT ARCHIE'S CHEQUERED PAST. (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THOSE INSANE CHECKS ON ARCHIES HAIR.)

GOLDMAN SACHS NOT TOO BIG FOR JAIL

FROM MOVEON.ORG:

Goldman Sachs is facing a civil suit for its reckless actions that hurt millions of
people--but what they and other Wall Street firms do could be criminal and they should be held accountable.

I signed a petition joining members of Congress in demanding a criminal investigation of Goldman Sachs and other Wall Street firms. This call is picking up a lot of steam--can you join me at the link below?

BUNNY DOES DALLAS 5/31

TRANNY GET YOUR GUN!

MAYBE THE TEA PARTIERS ARE MORE INCLUSIVE THAN I THOUGHT. IN THIS CLIP, A TRANSSEXUAL WITH A DEEP VOICE BASHES RACHEL MADDOW AT THE GUNS RIGHTS RALLY. THANKS TO OBAMA FOR SIGNING INTO A LAW A BILL WHICH ALLOWS PEOPLE TO CARRY GUNS TO PUBLIC PARKS. I KNOW THAT'S ONE OF MY PRIORITIES!

WATCH: MSNBC


CONSERVATIVE TS SEEKS TO DEFEAT DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ IN FLORIDA.




I know trans comes in all shapes and sizes, but a republican sex change? Honey, republicans hate you so you must hate yourself to represent them. Maybe she's trying to go right wing in order to pass as a woman more effectively? Like the old trick of pushing an empty baby carriage to seem like you can bear children.


MORE: CBS$

MISS PIGGY VS PEACHES

IS THIS A RE-POST? BETWEEN SENILITY AND ALLERGY CONFUSION, I CAN'T TELL ANYMORE!

ENDORA IN PUCCI!

SISSY BOUNCE

I'm sure some will laugh at this budget video. It appears to be a neighborhood sissy has put a track together and got the whole neighborhood in to help on the video. But the song is no joke. Sure, it rhymes butter beans with country dream and seditty with extra crispy. But even though this isn't my favorite kind of gro...ove, it's solid and I like the sissy's voice. How insane is it to tuck and wear a kerchief with a wig but no boobs or heels? I can't help but wonder if this neighborhood accepts it's sissy or whether they suspended their homophobia because this video was their ticket at fame?

REMEMBER THE 2 WARS WE'RE STILL IN?

SO GLAD THAT WE ARE PAYING, IN A RECESSION SO CRIPPLING THAT BASIC SERVICES LIKE HEALTH CARE AND LIBRARIES AND UNEMPLOYMENT ARE BEING CUT NATIONWIDE, FOR OUR FORCES TO DIG BULLETS OUT OF AFGHAN CIVILIAN CORPSES WHICH THEY ARE ASHAMED TO HAVE SHOT. I DARE YOU TO WATCH THIS VIDEO AND THEN KEEP BLINDLY BLEATING "SUPPORT T...HE TROOPS"! IF YOU SUPPORT OUR TROOPS YOU SUPPORT MURDER.

FROM HUFFPO:

American soldiers initially tried to cover up the killings, going so far as actually digging their bullets out of the bodies of the three women they had shot -- two of whom were seven-months pregnant.

NATO headquarters, led by Gen. Stanley McChrystal, then joined the cover-up and repeatedly tried to discredit Jerome Starkey, the intrepid British reporter who didn't believe the military press releases and went to investigate what happened on his own.

MORE: HUFFPO

HELP!

A TRIBUTE TO INFOMERCIALS.

IRRESISTABLE HOUSE TRACK

LOVE THE PIANO!

THROW IN THE SARAH PALIN!

April 22, 2010

FROM MONDO CANE

JAMES CARVILLE IMPERSONATOR FROM SNL

ZSA AT HER MOST ALLURING!

GET YOUR NICKS FIX

THE JACKIE FACTORY'S 20TH ANNUAL NIGHT OF 1000 STEVIES APPROACHING ON 5/14 AT HIGHLINE BALLROOM. A MUST FOR STEVIE ADDICTS.

THE JACKIE FACTORY is thrilled to announce that their 20th annual edition NOTS 20 is coming up on May 14, 2010 at the HIGHLINE BALLROOM in NYC. This year's moonlit, milestone edition was inspired by one of Stevie's most enduring and iconic songs, SISTERS OF THE MOON. Though Stevie has not performed this song much of late, it has remained a showpiece and staple of some of NOTS most thrilling performers past and present. Expect a midnight sky lit up by La Nicks' most enduring archetypes and images, including the Nightbird, The Welsh Witch and The Moon Goddess.



This year's bill features Legends of Stevie Realness from all eras of the show, and honors them all, our Sisters (and Brothers) of the Moon. "Enchantresses of Ceremony" CHI CHI VALENTI and HATTIE HATHAWAY will introduce this staggering cast: Returning performers are BELLADONNA (CALIFORNIA), SHERRY VINE, JUSTIN BOND, THE HO-HOS, GYPSY WILDE, JAZMEN FLOWERS (MISSISSIPI), SWEETIE, ADAM DUGAS, AMBER MARTIN & MIA THEODORATUS, HEATHER LITTEER, CHARLENE CORAN (COLORADO), ST. EVE, BILLY O, POISON EVE, THE DIVINE GRACE, VELOCITY CHYALDD, BELLA LUNA, JONNY TINGLE, BROOKE MCMAHAN (FLORIDA), VANGELINE THEATER, DARLINDA JUST DARLINDA, MACHINE DAZZLE, PAIGE STEVENSON and AMBER RAY.

THE SPITTING IMAGE!

A NUTTY SCENE FROM MONDO CANE 2.

April 21, 2010

I LOVE THE ONION!

Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels



VATICAN CITY—Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.

Addressing thousands gathered at St. Peter's Square on Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his "most humble apologies" to abuse victims, and pledged to reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years.

"This is absolutely unacceptable," Pope Benedict said. "It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors."

"And let me remind our clergy of the holy vows they all took when they entered the priesthood," he continued. "They should know that they're only allowed one small child every other month."

MORE INSANITY: THEONION

PENY ARCADE CELEBRATES 25 YEARS!



PENNY ARCADE IS WARM, WITTY AND WISE AND I LOVE TO LISTEN TO THIS GAL SPEAK/PERFORM. I HAVE TO WORK ON HER 25TH ANNIVERSARY PERFORMANCE BUT IF YOU CAN, I URGE YOU TO CHECK OUT THIS NYC ORIGINAL WHO HAS BEEN STIRRING AUDIENCES SINCE THE WARHOL DAYS AND IS STILL GOING STRONG!

THE VERY BEST OF PENNY ARCADE

Saturdays, May 1 ...-22: Laurie Beechman Theatre, 407 West 42nd Street.

Catch this veritable sampler of the landmark, expansive and genre pushing work of the Queen of Downtown Underground Performance -- Penny Arcade. A funny and insightful new
evening of seamlessly integrated selections from her most acclaimed works. Celebrates 25 years of take-no-prisoner performances including Old Queen, Bitch!Dyke!Faghag!Whore!, Bad Reputation and New York Values.

Her first ever "Greatest Hits" show. 7:30pm. Tix are $20 (+ $15 food/drink minimum -- full dinner menu & bar available) at OVATIONTIX.COM
trs/pr/730995.

CARRIE ON?



Am I the only person who does NOT think this poster is a winner? First of all, don't cover up her eyes! Not only are they her best feature, they are everyone's most expressive feature. Without them, you have Sarah Horse-ica Parker at her worst. We focus on what we can see: a stringy, mangy mane, prominent nose, knobby ...knees and one glint off of her teeth making them look crooked. She looks nice and trim which isn't easy to do in white, but a simple cotton dress isn't exactly going to thrill fashionistas, is it? And where are her gal pals?

STUPIDEST GAY PORN PLOT!

YOU THINK YOUR ASS GETS HORNY?

IMAGINE THEIR BLOW JOBS!

THE CO-JOINED TWINS SEEM VERY WELL-ADJUSTED!

USHER: OMG

This country is so prudish! Usher's new horrible smash hit, produced by the Master of Mindless Rubbish will.i.am, is called OMG. But he can't even say god. He actually says Oh my gosh! I guess using the Lord's name in vain would be too rough for r&b/hip-hop. Killing and drug sales are fine, but don't mention god cuz then you won't get those endorsement deals. CORNY! But OMG does mention booty and boobies. That's ok.

REPUBLICANS TURN ON THEIR OWN!



CALLS FOR SENATOR LINDSEY GRAHAM TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ON HIS HOME TURF OF SOUTH CAROLINA. And he's the one of the top republican senators in the land. Or should that read bottom? He does look like a pekinese with a headache.

FARRAH "SINGS"!

BOBBIE GENTRY IN CURLY HAIR!



IF YOU DON'T KNOW HER, CHECK THIS VIDEO OF HER SONG FANCY, WHICH BECAME A DRAG CLASSIC!

USA TOO FAT TO ENLIST!

Too Fat To Fight? New Study Of Americans Is "Too Fat" by Jack Ryan



Are you too fat to fight? Did you know that a quarter of young adults are unable to join the military because they don't meet the physical requirements? That's what the statistics of a recent study has stated.

According to Mission: Readiness, 27 percent of all young adult Americans are ineligible for the military because they are too obese. Mission Readiness also reported that 75 percent of young Americans between 17-24 do not qualify for the military because of their failure to graduate from high school, physical problems or having a criminal record.

MORE: POSTCHRONICLE.COM

A REALLY BAD HEADACHE!

Briton 'gets Chinese accent after bad migraine'

A British woman has suddenly started speaking with a Chinese accent after suffering a severe migraine, she said in comments quoted by British media Tuesday.

Sarah Colwill believes she has Foreign Accent Syndrome (FAS) which has caused her distinctive West Country drawl to be replaced with a Chinese twang, even though she has never even visited the country.

The 35-year-old from Plymouth, southwest England, is now undergoing speech therapy following an acute form of migraine last month which reportedly left her with a form of brain damage.

MORE: MSN

BENEFIT FOR SWEETIE

NYC DRAG STAR SWEETIE RECENTLY SUFFERED BLOOD CLOTS ON THE LUNG AND SPENT 10 DAYS IN THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT. THE BILL WAS AROUND $100,000. SO WE'RE HAVING A BENEFIT.



Daniel Nardicio brings you Pink Cross (a gay Red
Cross)- a party to help with the medical bills of non-other than
Sweetie!

Weds, April 28th: Get ready as Peppermint, Randy
Jones, Dina Marie, Greg Scarnici, Cherry Jubilee, Bridgett Everett,
David Ilku, Adam Klesh, Princess Diandra, Go-Go Harder, Lady Bunny, Poison Eve,
Brandall the Magic Lady take the stage to perform for their lives!

Hosted by Mimi Imfurst, Norell Gardner, Gusty Winds and Linda SimpsonPlus special hosts Johnny Dynell and Chi-Chi Valenti
with music by Dj's Michael Magnan, DJ Baby K, Rich King and Nita
Aviance!

Upstairs nightlife royalty, downstairs go-go madness with
Nardicio's Playgirl Dancers!All proceeds to go to drag sister
Sweetie - door by Queenie Reenie
Plus Pink Cross cookies by Late Night Kitchen plus Boybar Tshirts and goodies by Lee Chappell

Elevate, 390 8th Ave btw 29th and 30th
$10 10pm (if you cannot attend, feel free to make a donation at: DANIEL NARDICIO'S PAYPAL

WICKED, WICKED (1973)

RARE, CAMPY HORROR FILM ON TCM TONIGHT AT 1:00 EST AM. The theme song contains the lyric "Wicked wicked/That's the ticket"! And lotsa Lahoma Van Zandt shag wigs!

THE REPUBLICANS' PLAN FOR HEALTH CARE REFORM!

SUE LOWDEN IS A DUNCE WHO IS THE LEAD REPUBLICAN IN THE RACE FOR HARRY REID'S SENATE SEAT IN NEVADA. HER PLAN FOR HEALTH CARE INCLUDES A TRIP BACK TO THE OLDEN DAYS, WHEN YOU CAME TO THE DOC'S OFFICE WITH A CHICKEN TO BARTER!?!

NEW TONI BRAXTON VID

I like the dancing in this. The sample sends me into a tizzy but it doesn't go with the melody. And oddly, it drops out during the verse when most songs pump the sample. When her record company sent me this my feedback was WE WANT TO HEAR TONI SING like she did on Unbreak My Heart. Not groove-oriented stuff like this which she sings Da-Da-Dum-Dum-Dum over. Leave that to the dum-dums whose voices aren't able to soar over building chords. Hers can. She looks fantastic, though.

MORE HORROR FROM AFGHANISTAN

AFGHANISTAN HAS REVIVED AN ANCIENT PAKISTANI CUSTOM OF DRAG SHOWS. UNFORTUNATELY, THE QUEENS ARE DIRT-POOR UNDERAGE BOYS WHO ARE PIMPED IN DRAG. THIS AIRED ON PBS LAST NIGHT. IF YOU HAVE AN HOUR, THIS IS A FASCINATING TALE.

WATCH: WGBH

A SHITTY NEW TREATMENT

THE GOOD NEWS: THERE'S A CURE FOR THE SUPERBUG FOUND LURKING IN MANY HOSPITALS.

THE BAD NEWS: A RELATIVE HAS TO SHIT IN YOUR ASS!

The procedure involves getting a close relative of the patient, such as a sibling, to donate several days-worth of stool. Louie tests the stool for diseases such as hepatitis and HIV and then mixes it with saline to create liquid feces. He then administers the stool to the patient through an enema.

Louie said the technique allows good bacteria from the transplanted stool to reduce the number of C. difficile bacteria in the intestines and to restore normal intestinal function.

He said the process is fairly quick.

Read more: CBC

GOLDEN GIRL VS GOLDEN ARCHES



FROM BEAYOND THE GRAVE, GOLDEN GIRL TARGETS GOLDEN ARCHES

Bequest in Bea Arthur's Will Leads to PETA Campaign Against McDonald's

Chicago — When she was alive, Bea Arthur was one of PETA's most stalwart supporters, and now—through a provocative campaign that PETA is launching thanks to a bequest in her will—Bea will remain an activist even in death.

This week, to mark the first anniversary of Bea's passing, PETA is featuring the Golden Girl in an ad targeting the Golden Arches. Specifically, the ad criticizes McDonald's for refusing to require its suppliers to end their outdated chicken-slaughter practices. "McCruelty: It's enough to make Bea Arthur roll over in her grave," reads the ad, which debuts this Thursday on a full page in the Chicago Tribune (McDonald's is based in nearby Oak Brook, Ill.).

Beneath a photo of Bea looking scornful, the text of the ad reveals how McDonald's is resisting switching to a less violent, USDA-approved chicken-slaughter method: "With this new system, millions of birds would be spared broken legs and wings and being scalded to death in defeathering tanks. It's even supported by McDonald's own animal welfare advisors. But it seems that McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner is too cheap to switch to this method. Mr. Skinner, as Bea Arthur's character Maude would say, 'God'll get you for that.'"

This Thursday, when the ad debuts in Chicago, PETA members will lead a spirited protest in Bea's honor outside the McDonald's restaurant on Clark Street in downtown Chicago at 12 noon. The Emmy- and Tony Award–winning actor, who was born in New York City, died last April 25 in Los Angeles. She was 86.

IN OTHER GOLDEN GIRL NEWS, GRANDMASTER FLASH MEETS BETTY WHITE FOR THIS INSANELY SILLY VIDEO:

ARIAS WITH A TWIST DOC

PREMIERES AT TRIBECA FILM FESTIVAL ON 4/23! IT'S THE BEHIND THE SCENES MAKING OF DOC OF THE INCREDIBLE JOEY ARIAS/BASIL TWIST PERFORMANCE. DO NOT MISS! ADDITIONAL SCREENINGS ON Tue, Apr 27, 1:00PM, Wed, Apr 28,10:00PM, Sat, May 01, 11:59PM. NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE OF DIVINE? WOW!

TICKETS: TRIBECAFILM



A joyously uplifting celebration of the creative process and the inventive, outrageous downtown art scene of New York from the past 30 years, Arias with a Twist focuses its lens on the inspired collaboration between cabaret and drag artist Joey Arias and puppeteer Basil Twist, whose groundbreaking 2008 show brought them some of the biggest success of their careers. Featuring never-before-seen footage of Andy Warhol, Jim Henson, Keith Haring, Grace Jones, and Divine.

This euphoric documentary explores the dynamic creative relationship between Arias and Twist, but it also takes us on a tour of downtown New York's club, art, fashion, and performance scene starting in the late '70s, a time when these worlds were in constant dialogue, constantly inspiring each other. Director Bobby Sheehan has unearthed never-before-seen footage from the era of Andy Warhol, David Bowie, Keith Haring, Grace Jones, and Divine. The trip is bittersweet-considering AIDS would soon sweep through the scene, claiming stars like John Sex, Klaus Nomi and Keith Haring-but ultimately uplifting when viewed in light of Arias and Twist, whose work continues to evolve and carry the torch of artistic partnership. --Jim Browne

April 13, 2010

YOU'LL NEVER FEEL STUPID AGAIN

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life."
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body"
-- Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward .

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.


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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.


````````````````````````````````````````````````````

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
--A congressional candidate in Texas .


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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President

And

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, VP

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."


-- Dan Quayle


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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca


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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.


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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .


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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President



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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery


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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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April 12, 2010

STUNNING OUTFIT ALERT!

THE LATE DIXIE CARTER'S STAR TURN

PITIFUL OR BRILLIANT?

I CAN'T DECIDE!

TINY TIM SINGS ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING!

WAH WAH!

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.


The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother.
It says: "Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle... it makes your nose look too short." Love, Grandma

LUENELL!



April 11, 2010

YOU WANT TO GET MAD?

SUCH A GREAT READ! (Author unknown)

We had eight years of Bush and Cheney, but now you get mad!

You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.

You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy.

You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got ousted.

You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed..

You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.

You didn’t get mad when we spent over 600 billion(and counting) on said illegal war.

You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq.

You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden.

You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city drown.

You didn’t get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich.

You didn’t get mad when, using reconciliation; a trillion dollars of our tax dollars were redirected to insurance companies for Medicare Advantage which cost over 20 percent more for basically the same services that Medicare provides.

You didn’t get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark, and our debt hit the thirteen trillion dollar mark.

You finally got mad when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all okay with you,
but helping other Americans… oh hell no.
AND NOW YOU’RE MAD !

April 08, 2010

WHITNEY LOST HER VOICE BUT HE FOUND IT!

NOT USUALLY A FAN OF STANDARDS, BUT..

THERE IS NOTHING STANDARD ABOUT THIS EXTRAORDINARY RENDITION OF STORMY WEATHER BY MELBA MOORE. THIS SONG SHOWCASES THE ZILLIONS OF TEXTURES IN THIS DIVA'S VOICE SO BEAUTIFULLY. AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT WHEN THAT GUTSY GROWL COMES OUT OF THIS DIMINUTIVE CREATURE!

April 07, 2010

THINK THIS IS MARILY?



GAG AT HOW GORGEOUS JIMMY JAMES LOOKED AS MARILYN IN 1988! IMPERSONATIONS ARE USUALLY NOT MY CUP OF TEA, BUT THEY ARE WHEN THEY'RE THIS JAW-DROPPINGLY INCREDIBLE!

KE$HA REMAKE

April 06, 2010

LOOK WHO'S ALL GROWN UP?





ELIAN GONZALEZ! I'D KIDNAP HIM NOW! SO JUMMY!

"YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING AT ME, ARE YA?"

RALPH AND EDNA

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both
patients in a mental hospital . One day while they were walking past
the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act
she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she
now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news
and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were
able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life
of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound
mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe
belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon
can I go home?'

April 05, 2010

OH DEAR!

CROSSDRESSING TEACHERS IN OUR SCHOOLS?

ARE DEMOCRATS QUIETLY PUSHING TV-FRIENDLY LEGISLATION THROUGH CONGRESS?

MORE: CELEBRIFI

YUCCH!

April 04, 2010

CANDIS CAYNE SINGS!

STICKY SITUATION

Fred and Larry got married in California. They couldn't afford a honeymoon so, they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first married night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Larry are up yet.

She replies, 'No'.

Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Larry up yet?'

She replies, 'No.'

Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,'Are Fred and Larry up yet?'

His mom says, 'No.'

He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'

He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think...... I gave him my airplane glue.'

RAQUEL WELCH ON OPRAH



I like Oprah a lot but rarely take time to watch her. Until tonight. The gorgeous Raquel Welch is on for the full hour and she's making me feel guilty about worshipping her! But in a very likeable way. I'm confused!

Then she claimed that sex was overrated. To each her own but she must have had some rotten partners. I guess the grass is always greener so a sex symbol gets turned on by being taken seriously. I have always been floored by her beauty, but turned off by her phony way of speaking. It's still odd to me, but what's she's saying is very interesting and I might have to buy her new book, BEYOND THE CLEAVAGE! NOT the horrible short wigs she sells but does not even wear!

Then Raquel went on to say shit like Embrace your old age and Look at all the beautiful women in the audience. It's great for Oprah to uphold older women but Raquel has plainly had lots of plastic surgery. I don't blame her and have nothing against plastic surgery but it's not exactly embracing old age, is it? At least she didn't have reconstruction that changed her naturally gorgeous features. She just tweaked her mug. A lot. She's 69 and there's not 1 bag or wrinkle.

DID YOU KNOW SHE HAD A DISCO SONG?