ME KRYSTLE, YOU JOAN

Simon Doonan, author of WACKY CHICKS and long-term window-dresser at Barney's, was asked to help promote Joan Collins' new tome, THE ART OF LIVING WELL, at a recent Barnes and Noble book-signing. Though he'd submitted his questions in advance at her request, Joan arrived and wasn't having it. Maybe she wasn't just playing a bitch on DYNASTY... Anyway, here's Simon's delightfully-written account of the heart-breaking fiasco: OBSERVER.COM



An excerpt:

Enter La Collins. When the events manager introduced us, Joan, who was wearing black satin slacks with a fab chinoise-y top with flyaway bits, recoiled in horror. “I knew nothing of this!” she gasped, splaying a hand on her upper chest and adding: “And I hate these kinds of surprises!” Sphincters tightened. Knuckles whitened. So great was the maquillaged septuagenarian’s displeasure that I began to have Dynasty déjà vu. I felt as though we were in the middle of a showdown in the lobby of the Mirage country club: Krystle and Alexis were about to slug it out and roll around on Borders’ mauve carpet.