August 31, 2007

WONDER WOMAN SINGS!

CHANNING: WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE NUTS?

I believe that Miss Understood is responsible for this heavenly nonsense!

HELP THE BIG EASY: IT'S AS EASY AS A CLICK!

I'm in New Orleans now, and if there was ever a unique, magical US city worth saving with such a fascinating history, culture OINK! OINK! cuisine--ok, and those gorgeous cajun fellers--it's NEW ORLEANS! Please take just a second to click the link and send a message of concern.

FROM MOVEON.ORG

Two years ago, Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. In the days following the tragedy, promises to help rebuild that great city and get New Orleanians back on their feet rolled in from the Bush Administration. It turns out, that's all they were—empty promises.

Molly L., a MoveOn member from New Orleans, tells what really happened: "The president promised my city aid and help, but we have received almost none. He needs to be told that he was elected as the leader of the American people, and that THEY should be his first priority."

It's not surprising that the Bush Administration would fail to deliver—that's their trademark. But we can't let them get away with this blatant neglect of fellow Americans who are trying to rebuild their lives. Clicking the link below will add your name to the petition telling Congress that two years is too long and that they must pass the Gulf Coast Housing Recovery Act of 2007.

MOVEON.ORG

The bill provides desperately needed funds for affordable housing, guarantees the replacement of public housing units, and ensures that all those who wish to return home can do so. It also continues assistance for evacuees to make sure that they have safe, decent housing until they can return home.

There is progress in the Gulf, thanks to countless acts of courage and resourcefulness by citizens determined to rebuild. And there is still tremendous suffering—its persistence is a national disgrace. We asked MoveOn members on the Gulf Coast how they were doing two years after Katrina—their stories were uplifting and heartbreaking, eloquent and exasperating. But their message was unmistakable: Don't forget us. Below are some of the messages they asked us to share:

Life in the Big Easy isn't so easy anymore, and it might never be quite the same. As strong and proud as we New Orleanians may be, we still need the help of our fellow Americans.
–Yanna G., Metairie, LA

What helped the people of the Gulf Coast was not the government, not insurance companies, but regular everyday Americans who gave and continue to give of their time, money, moral support, friendship and love to help us here. I am so grateful for that.
–Jessica J., New Orleans, LA

Recovery has been very slow, especially for renters. We lived in government housing and they have been one of the last to rebuild or repair their buildings. Tomorrow is the 2nd anniversary and we are still in a FEMA camper...made to vacation in, NOT live in. We are very thankful for a roof over our heads, however, we need permanent housing.
–Cheryl E., Bay St. Louis, MS

Please, please, please continue to write and call your political representatives, as well as the national media, and tell them that it is unforgivable for them to continue to neglect and forget not only my once amazing city,but the entire Gulf Coast region affected.
–Molly L., New Orleans, LA

Please tell your Congress they must help the Gulf Coast recover. Click below to add your name.

MOVEON.ORG

AT LEAST CRAIG'S NO PEDOPHILE!

This site claims to have a pic of Larry Craig "being gay". I have no idea whether one of these guys is him or not, but I've never been one to shy away from unsubstantiated gossip! Oh, and did you hear that Craig is set to make a motion on the floor of the Senate..bathroom!

KURO5HIN

LARRY CRAIG MEETS AVENUE Q

CHARLES MANSON DANCE REMIX?

OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM

FREEDOM FROM THEIR LIVES! AND REMEMBER, THIS IS JUST ONE SUCH ATTACK THAT WE HEARD ABOUT! JUST IMAGINE ALL THE OTHER CASES WHICH NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.

From Yahoo News:

CAMP PENDLETON, California (AFP) - A US Marine was ordered to execute a room full of terrified Iraqi women and children during an alleged massacre in Haditha that left 24 people dead, a military court heard Thursday.

An excerpt:

During a subsequent search of the house, Mendoza said he received an order from another Marine, Lance Corporal Stephen Tatum, to shoot seven women and children he had found in a rear bedroom.

"When I opened the door there was just women and kids, two adults were lying down on the bed and there were three children on the bed ... two more were behind the bed," Mendoza said.

"I looked at them for a few seconds. Just enough to know they were not presenting a threat ... they looked scared."

After leaving the room Mendoza told Tatum what he had found.

"I told him there were women and kids inside there. He said 'Well, shoot them,'" Mendoza told prosecutor Lieutenant Colonel Sean Sullivan.

"And what did you say to him?" Sullivan asked.

"I said 'But they're just women and children.' He didn't say nothing."

Mendoza said he returned to a position at the front of the house and heard a door open behind him followed by a loud noise. Returning later that afternoon to retrieve bodies, Mendoza said he found a room full of corpses.

WHOLE ARTICLE: YAHOO

LABOR DAY WEEKEND: I BETTER WORK!

OR I WON'T GET PAID!

I'LL BE AT THE BOURBON STREET PUB FOR AN 8:00 SHOW FRIDAY NIGHT (BUT I THINK IT''S SOLD OUT.) WITH CHI CHI LARUE AND SHIRLEY Q.--THE ONLY TWO QUEENS IN THE NATION WHO MAKE ME FEEL SLIM! SOUTHERN DECADENCE IS A HOT MESS!!!



OR IF YOU'RE IN LA, CATCH ME ON MONDAY AT THE NEW WEHO HOTSPOT, ELEVEN, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS.

CRAIG'S MANHUNT AD

August 30, 2007

NANCY SINATRA: "SO LONG BABE"

FROM HULLABALOO! MAN, SHE'S GOT IT!

NEW "TV" SHOW ON TS'S

TOO BAD IT'S ONLY ON IN ENGLAND! (But it is a World of Wonder production: more info HERE.)

Sex Change Hospital C4, 11.05pm

From The Daily Mail by Jane Simon 30/08/2007



IT'S fitting that the sex-change capital of the world should be Trinidad, Colorado - a town that can't make up its mind whether it's Arthur or Martha.

We're back again at the Mount San Rafael Hospital where none of the trans-gender patients we've met so far looks nearly as good as their glamorous surgeon Dr Marci Bowers - a walking advertisement for gender reassignment, having "transitioned" herself as they call it, decade ago.

Transitioned is a very tidy-sounding word for a very messy operation so prepare to faint as Michael becomes Stephanie and Ryan has another op to leave his former self of Julie behind.

The art of turning a woman into a man is still having the bugs ironed out of it and, even after four operations that have left him bankrupt, Ryan's still not happy with his residual lady bits.

But his wife, Kim, is, as ever, isn't short of encouragement. "We can see the end of the tunnel now," she tells him, no pun intended.

WHITNEY'S BACK!

AND SOUNDING GREAT!

THE REAL MORMON RAP

VIA POPBITCH.COM

NOT "A HOME TEACHER" AND "RED PUNCH AND MINTS"!

GAWKER: THE DEATH OF WIGSTOCK

By Rod Townsend

GAWKER

DOES SHE SAY OSAMA?



I GUESS NOT. NOW IT'S UP WITH SUBTITLES!



AND HERE"S THE POOR THING AGAIN!



MEET HER FOLKS!

August 29, 2007

LARRY CRAIGSLIST.ORG

CRAIGSLIST

MUST SEE TO BELIEVE!

DRAMATIC READING OF THE LARRY CRAIG INCIDENT

Stupid! Love it!

LISTEN ON HUFFPO

HAIRDRESSER, HAIRDRESSER

An original composition (sic) by Lucille Cataldo from the 80's Chicago cable show STAIRWAY TO STARDOM, which yielded so many gems!

HE-DA-HO FROM IDAHO

SENATOR "MARY" CRAIG: "I'M NOT GAY!" I JUST TAP-DANCE IN AIRPORT MEN'S ROOMS!



Of course I'm delighted to see another conservative politician dragged through the mud as their homosexual escapades hit the fan. Of course, the very republicans who espouse rewriting the Constitution to redefine marriage as between a man and a woman so that gays can never marry keep on getting busted for homo-sex in tearooms--like the one last month who offered a cop $20. To have talking heads reveal the age-old shoe-tapping signal on national TV makes me sing HALLELUJAH! While on my knees, of course!

A "cottaging" veteran, I wasn't quite as mystified as Soledad O'Brien by this time-honored code. Basically, you sit in the stall next to your intended paramour--when you are sticking it through a hole or waiting for one you ain't that picky so sometimes a male shoe is all you need to see. If the shoe you see isn't male and you're in NYC, please introduce yourselves, fellers! The deliberate tapping of your show indicates that you're ready for action. It's subtle enough so that someone unititiated in the code would not necessarily notice it, or be offended if they did. Of course, to be really sure that your victim is of the same persuasion, you might wait long enough to ensure that the person in the next stall wasn't relieving themselves, keenly keeping an ear wide open and nostril flared for the sounds and smells of defecation. If they take over 10 or 15 minutes, they're probably after the same thing you are. Or they eat a diet low in fiber. Or both!

What strikes me as odd about this case is tearoom action in the airport! Even prior to 9/11, security in an airport was much higher than the average cottage. The high traffic also scotches the likelihood of intimate moments and increased detection by appalled straights who might complain. Maybe the increased reports of booze-guzzling pilots are easier targets. And since you're en route somewhere at an airport, there's no hope of finding a compatible mate and dragging them somewhere safer. Unless you're on the same flight, perhaps? (I've never joined the Mile-High club.)

I also loved hearing the talking heads of CNN discuss what possible mentality could explain the erratic behavior: persistent cruising, brandishing his US Senate business card, pleading guilty to disorderly conduct, and then trying to claim that he'd perjured himself when he plead guilty. One pundit/psychologist claimed that Craig may have wanted to be caught on some level because of past abuse, another described a state of entitlement which people who are surrounded by yes men may develop and think themselves above the law. To take the other side of a therapist's couch for once, I imagine that he's a sex addict on the DL--to take such heavy risks? But if you're on the DL, you often desire other guys whose sexuality is way beneath the surface. That way, after you flush away (or swallow) the evidence, you're no longer gay and you can go back to attempting to strip our rights away in the legislature.

I primarily frequented tearooms as an adolescent who I had no other sexual outlets in Chattanooga--any one remember the Reade House upstairs? A kiki, honey! I was too young to get into bars, and there weren't that many anyway. If you live in a smaller town, there may not have been any gay bar, and the smaller the town, the less anonymity. (That's why this whore moved to NY!) Tearooms and truckstops may have been your only outlets to have sex in. I'm sure that's where some of gay men's pee fetishes come from. Don't forget, we are animals and scent figures heavily into arousal. Also, the type of sex engaged in is hurried, manly and far from lovey-dovey--I never noticed any making out. So you can walk away feeling that you've just fulfilled a physical need with no pouffy stuff. Sometimes all you are dealing with is what comes through the hole--you never even exchange a word or see a face! Soledad, I know that may seem queer to you, but so does the huge percentage of married gals who never achieve an orgasm. At least we bust a nut through that grimy gloryhole!

I'm rambling, but another thing that strikes me is that cottaging is a generational thing. Gay bars were probably not common in Idaho during Craig's sexual development--if they are now!--and especially as a conservative in politics, he was forced to bury his sexuality. And like many man from his generation, he isn't sufficiently in touch with his emotions to divorce his actions from creating the policies which will demonize homosexuality and force more gays underground...and into tearooms! Or do you think he just wanted to have his cock and eat it too, with no regard for the laws we pay his ass to make?

August 28, 2007

WIGSTOCK UPDATE

SCOTT LIFSHUTZ, MY CO-ORGANIZER, CIRCA 1987. PHOTO: KRASNER/TREVITZ



FIRST, THE BAD NEWS:

Scott Lifshutz (my co-organizer) and I are still on hiatus and Wigstock has ceased to exist as an annual event. But please check out the official Wigstock website for oodles of photos, press and fun facts for a walk down mammary lane. And vintage Wigstock t-shirts for sale! We don't know exactly when the festival will reappear, but after a 20 year run, we could use a long break!

DORIAN COREY AT WIGSTOCK CIRCA 1988 (PHOTO: KRASNER/TREVITZ)



AND NOW, THE GOOD NEWS:

Johnny Dynell and Chi Chi Valente, the dynamic downtown duo who brought you Jackie 60, Night of 1000 Stevies and MOTHERNYC.COM, are putting together a festival in what was normally Wigstock's slot during the Howl Festival on Saturday, September 8th. Called, LOW-LIFE, it will incorporate many of downtown's beloved performers from burlesque queen Dirty Martini to the Duelling Bankheads and whirl them all up in an insane 1800's theme, which we all know is really just an excuse for Chi Chi to throw on a girdle! Already confirmed in the line-up: Sweetie, Wigstock co-founder Hattie Hathaway, Robert La Fosse, Dean Johnson, Jessica Rabbit Domination, choreographer Julie Atlas Muz, Paul Alexander, Michael T. and the crazy and gorgeous (relative) newcomer. Epiphany. Anyhoo, I'm not working on that day so I plan to go and enjoy the fruitcakes of someone elses labor for a change! For a sex change! Visit MOTHERNYC.COM for more info. Hope to see you all there!

FAREWELL, GONZALES

(Click pic to enlarge.)

LADY BUNNY: KEEP ON SINGIN'

I couldn't even afford an earring at this point! Still, I think I almost did the Helen Reddy classick some justice.

DYANNE THORNE MEETS JACK RITTER

August 25, 2007

HEY YOU

DEEPLY DEMENTED DRAG VIDEO:

GOT MY MOM'S XMAS PRESENT ALREADY PICKED OUT!



This year, she's getting boogers, freshly picked out! She enjoys those every year, but this time I wanted to give her one practical gift, too. So imagine my delight when I spotted these platforms designed for hookers with an alarm built right into the shoe! Now if she comes home with a black eye and broken teeth, I'll just have to assume that eithe she likes it, or is imitating Amy Winehouse.

MORE INFO: THEAPHRODITEPROJECT

August 24, 2007

THE AFRICAN (DRAG) QUEEN

Why are Liberian soldiers wearing fright wigs? By Mark Scheffler



Bewigged fighter sends otherworldly message

Few things exemplify the chaos of Liberia more than the sight of doped-up, AK-47-wielding 15-year-olds roaming the streets decked out in fright wigs and tattered wedding gowns. Indeed, some of the more fully accessorized soldiers in Charles Taylor's militia even tote dainty purses and don feather boas. Why did this practice begin and what is the logic behind it?


MORE: SLATE.COM


AND THEN THERE'S THIS INSANITY!


A troop of vervet monkeys is giving Kenyan villagers long days and sleepless nights, destroying crops and causing a food crisis.

Earlier this month, local MP Paul Muite urged the Kenyan Wildlife Service to help contain their aggressive behaviour.

But Mr Muite caused laughter when he told parliament that the monkeys had taken to harassing and mocking women in a village.

But this is exactly what the women in the village of Nachu, just south-west of Kikuyu, are complaining about.

They estimate there are close to 300 monkeys invading the farms at dawn. They eat the village's maize, potatoes, beans and other crops.

And because women are primarily responsible for the farms, they have borne the brunt of the problem, as they try to guard their crops.

The monkeys grab their breasts, and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts
Villager Lucy Njeri

They say the monkeys are more afraid of young men than women and children, and the bolder ones throw stones and chase the women from their farms.

Nachu's women have tried wearing their husbands' clothes in an attempt to trick the monkeys into thinking they are men - but this has failed, they say.

"When we come to chase the monkeys away, we are dressed in trousers and hats, so that we look like men," resident Lucy Njeri told the BBC News website

"But the monkeys can tell the difference and they don't run away from us and point at our breasts. They just ignore us and continue to steal the crops."

In addition to stealing their crops, the monkeys also make sexually explicit gestures at the women, they claim.

"The monkeys grab their breasts, and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts. We are afraid that they will sexually harass us," said Mrs Njeri.


MORE: BBC

August 23, 2007

MEET PUMPKIN CAMELTOE!

IF YOU THOUGHT THE VILLAGE PEOPLE WERE GAY...

August 22, 2007

MORE CATHERINE TATE!

WOMAN JAILED FOR TESTICLE ATTACK

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

MORE: BBC

BEST ASS CONTEST FINALISTS







August 21, 2007

HUGGA WUUGGA

August 18, 2007

ALEXYSS K. TYL)R ON MALE PROSTITUTION

One of the internet's most distinctive voices takes on the subject of older, wealthy men preying on young male prostitutes. Among the highlights, "Some of these men wearing diapers cuz they ass one fell out taking them big King Kong dicks" or something like that. She also points out how quickly some of these geezers will remove that snuff or tobacco they're chewing to suck up some dick. INSANE!

BILL MAHER ON LARRY KING SATURDAY AT 9:00 EST

As much as I slam Larry King for his many tabloid theme shows, he does redeem himself by having the genius Bill Maher on fairly regularly. I caught a bit of the show this week, but am glad it's being re-run since Bill is so incredibly smart and funny that I wanted to take notes. Among other observations, he marvelled that in this country, we won't go out and protest a war that statistics show that a majority oppose, yet we'll camp out for two days to buy an iphone. He has a point!

So if you want a taste of Bill and don't subscribe to HBO to catch Bill's regular gig, check him out for free tomorrow night.

LILY ALLEN LEAVES GIG IN A PLASTIC BAG?!?

Now, I've used a paper bag before, but plastic?? At least she didn't punch photogs!



MORE: DAILYMAIL

GRISLY GRIZZLY WARNING

IN LONDON?

(CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE)



NYC/LONDON COCKNEY DRAG SENSATION LAVINIA CO-OP IS WOWING THEM WITH HER NEW SHOW IN LONDON. EVEN THE JADED AND BITTER STELLA STEIN RECOMMENDED IT HIGHLY! APPARENTLY THE PLACE IS PACKED FOR THE BLOOLIPS VETERAN'S NEW INSTALLATIONS INSTILLETOES.

If you're not in London, you can check her out on youtube:

EVERY WEDNESDAY!

Some impressionists base their entire act on doing one celebrity. Jimmy has dozens under his belt and as his former manager Bubba said "There's not a person on earth who can do what that thing does!" I have to agree. You too will gag as Jimmy shifts effortlessly between dead-on vocal impersonations of Cher, Barbra, Eartha, Macy Gray, Judy Garland, Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Billie Holiday, Patsy Cline, Madonna, Boy George, and my favorite, Bette Davis. All while dressed as--his former manager put it--"Humpty Dumpty!" Jimmy's talent for mimicry is show-stopping and I never tire of it.

EVERY WEDNESDAY AT THE METROPOLITAN ROOM. RESERVATIONS STRONGLY SUGGESTED.



NOT IN NY? CHECK OUT JIMMY'S SITE--LOADS OF CD'S AVAILABLE INCLUDING AN XMAS CD WITH JIMMY'S INSANE VERSION OF FELIZ NAVIDAD SUNG BY BETTE DAVIS.

August 17, 2007

THE BECKHAMS IN AMERICA

This is just wrong enough to be right. It's by my friend Heather Fink, who, based on this skit, was obviously driven insane by her former boss Michael Lucas. I love the way the bearded drag queen maid keeps eyeing the camera "seductively"!

BUNNY'S B'DAY BASH!

COME OUT AND HELP ME CELEBRATE EVEN THOUGH I LOOK LIKE A WATERHEAD IN THIS PIC.

SPLASH FROM 7-12 THIS SUNDAY

CHRISTINA VISCA'S DISCO TEA WITH BUN-BUN SPINNING CLASSIC DISCO

BEFORE 9 THERE ARE 2-4-1 DRINKS AND $1 BEER

SPECIAL GUEST DJ RANDY JONES



AND HERE"S A TAWDRY SCENE FROM A PREVIOUS WEEK'S SHENANIGANS:

August 16, 2007

EVIDENCE CONTINUES TO IMPICATE VICK IN DOG-FIGHTING CASE

ARE YOU SIRIUS?

BUNNY ON SIRIUS RADIO TODAY FROM 6-10 EST

I'll be joining Derek to co-host THE DEREK AND ROMAINE SHOW on SIRIUS OUTQ Channel.

My guests will include the star of RENT ANTHONY RAPP, the mega-talented drag star LYPSINKA, the hilarious hag star LINDA SIMPSON and the gorgeous and talented--and presently unconfirmed--AMANDA LEPORE!

IF YOU DON'T SUBSCRIBE TO SIRIUS RADIO, YOU CAN OBTAIN A FREE TRIAL TO LISTEN ONLINE FOR 3 DAYS. JUST GO TO SIRIUS.COM AND SCROLL DOWN TO QUICK LINKS. HIT LISTEN LIVE and follow th einstructions. And PLEEEEEEEEEASE CALL IN TO HARASS US!

THE CALL-IN NUMBER IS (646) 313-6010.

HOPE TO HEAR YOU ON THE AIR! (EXCEPT FOR MY CREDITORS, FAMILY MEMBERS, TRICKS I'VE ROBBED, AND TRICKS I'VE GIVEN CRABS TO. HMMMM, I GUESS THAT ONLY LEAVES A FEW POTENTIAL CALLERS...)

BA-DUM-PUM!

The airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the
passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc

Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain,
Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."

Ed sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right?
Is the captain a woman?"

When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said "Did I
understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew are female."

"My God," said Ed, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know
what to think with only women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We No Longer Call It
the Cock Pit."

"It's now the Box Office."

THE ART OF PHOTO-CROP

My Space/ eHarmony / Match.com and other dating websites have been a boon to the dating environment----especially when photo-shop can enhance your chances. Like this:



SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE A YOUNG, BUXOM, SANE VERSION OF BRITNEY SPEARS WITH HAIR!









BUT BEFORE PHOTO-CROPPING...





CHENEY ON IRAQ IN '94

WHAT A GREAT IDEA!

August 14, 2007

MY BIRTHDAY WISH!

SIGNORILE ON MERV GRIFFIN

"Open homosexuality is a threat to the closeted, and powerful people in the closet like Merv Griffin will often do whatever it takes to squash those who are open and who might advocate that all among the powerful should come out."

(BUNNY NOTE: Of, course, I do admit to having a certain nostalgic fondness for Merv and I am fascinated with all things Gabor!)

Merv Griffin's Dangerous Closet by Michaelangelo SIgnorile



The Hollywood mogul Merv Griffin died at the age of 82 over the weekend after a battle with cancer, and I was amazed to see The New York Times actually discuss his sexual orientation, the palimony lawsuit and the male-on-male sexual harassment lawsuit. I'm thinking perhaps the Times editors really took it to heart when many of us criticized them after Susan Sontag's death and the obituary cover-up of her sexual orientation and her relationship with Annie Liebovitz. So far, in the the rest of the obits on Griffin (Reuters, Associated Press) I've seen nothing about his homosexuality.

And yet, it is very important for reasons far beyond visibility or mere gossip. Merv Griffin was an example of how dangerous the closet can be -- and how the closet and power are a combustible combination that adversely affects so many other lives. We should point to his life for GLBT youth and say, "Don't let this happen to you. Don't let your closet compromise you to the point where you are actively harming your own people, even though you have the power to do so much good."

WHOLE POST: SIGNORILEBLOGSPOT

MY NEW FAN SITE

BUNNY BIRTHDAY BASH!

MY BIRTHDAY IS ACTUALLY TODAY, BUT SINCE I'M IN P'TOWN WE ARE DELAYING THE NYC CELEBRATION A FEW DAYS!

This hag is turning 45 on 8/14, and I'm gonna party the whole week! I think I'll start off doing some shots of Geritol, and then work in a few bumps on Doan's and I'll be set! On 8/16 I'll co-host on the Derek and Romaine show on Sirius OUTQ from 6:00-10:00, with special guests porn mogul/mongol Michael Lucas and My COMRADE publisher LINDA SIMPSON to come and aggravate and humiliate me on the air. If you don't subscribe to Sirius radio they offer a free 3-day trial which enables you too try it online for 3 days. Just go to Sirius and scroll down to QUICK LINKS and hit LISTEN LIVE. AND PLEASE CALL IN TO HARASS ME!



On Sunday 8/19, the festivities will continue at Splash, where I regularly spin at Christina Visca's DISCO TEA. It is such a thrill to hear jams like Evelyn "Champagne" King's SHAME and INSTANT REPLAY booming out of their huge sound system, and boogie with regulars like Studio 54's roller-skating fairy godmother Rollerena. And disco legend Randy Jones of The Village People will guest dj so I that I can demand that you buy me birthday drinks all night--I meant mingle--with all of my guests!

The only presents requested is your presence! If you haven't stopped by DISCO TEA yet, THIS IS THE WEEK TO GET YOUR MANGY ASS OUT AND SHAKE SOME OF THOSE BARNACLES OFF OF IT! Splash features cheap drinks (1$ beer and 2-4-1 cocktails until 9) and even cheaper underwear-clad bartenders! This Sunday from 7-12!

One of the most rewarding aspects of spinning at Splash is the fact that Rollerena, the roller-skating fairy ofStudio 54 fame, has been a frequent guest and she pops by regularly with her VIETNAM VETS AGAINST THE WAR pin displayed prominently underneath her veil! She'll be to help celebrate and I hope you will too!

AND SPEAKING OF THE VILLAGE PEOPLE, DID YOU HEAR THAT THE FORMER LEAD SINGER/LYRICIST, STEVE WILLIS IS DENOUNCING THE GROUP'S GAY SUBTEXT!?!?

How "sub" is the text when you're gyrating your pelvis along with gay fantasy figures like a cowboy, construction worker, and leather man? The freak is fresh out of drug rehab after a string of drug arrests led to his 2005 appearance on AMERICA'S MOST WANTED--as the culprit, not the cop! MORE



A SAMPLE OF WILLIS'S "STRAIGHT" LYRICS FROM Y.M.C.A.:

You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,

FROM JACKIE BEAT

GAY SHAME PARADE

FROM THE ONION (THIS IS A JOKE):



GRAND PLAINS, NE—A tight-knit rural Midwestern farming community commemorated the demonization of homosexuality Sunday with its annual Gay Shame Parade, a three-decade-old tradition that has become a cornerstone of the town's cultural identity.

"Every year, the whole town turns out to enjoy Nebraska's famous summer sunshine, sample foods, browse the craft bazaar, and shame homosexuals for their repulsive, decadent behavior," said Frank Mitchell, mayor of Grand Plains, NE and parade marshal. "This year was our biggest turnout yet. Everybody had so much fun ostracizing the gays."

MORE: THEONION

LOVE THE NEW IKEA AD!

BEYONCE FALLS AGAIN!

August 13, 2007

LOOSE AS A GOOSE!

This nutty gal can swing her legs in a full circle! CRAZY! Watch til the end.

NO END IN SIGHT REVIEW

DIRECTOR CHARLES FERGUSON, WHO ALSO PRODUCED NO END IN SIGHT




"When we started reconstruction, we joked that there were five hundred ways to do it wrong and two or three ways to do it right. What we didn't understand was that we were going to go through all five hundred." -- Ambassador Barbara Bodine

If you’re in the mood for a cheery, escapist summer movie with lots of special effects and a happy ending, don’t even watch this film’s trailer. But if you’re sick of our propaganda-heavy TV news, you’ll be shocked and informed by this fact-heavy series of interviews with military and intelligence agents who tell the tale of the botched war effort in Iraq. I’m not really going to comment much on the style of the documentary. Though there are plenty of arresting and moving images and you do get to hear some Iraqi voices for a change, it’s a very basic, dry and not particularly stylish documentary.

If you want a more comprehensive, less biased review, here’s a excerpt of TIME magazine’s:

“That said, prepare to be riveted: No End in Sight, Charles Ferguson's first film, is without question the most important movie you are likely to see this year. It is not a film that simply massages your pre-existing attitudes about the war in Iraq. Rather it is a work that tells you things you almost certainly did not know about that disaster or things that have been lost to sight as chaos, anarchy and our feelings of helplessness have grown over the years since the invasion of 2003. Specifically, what it says is that the war was lost by the "coalition" in its first month — when U.S. forces failed to protect the Iraqi museum and library, among 20 other invaluable cultural, social and political sites.”

TIMES WHOLE REVIEW HERE: TIME.COM

You’d have to be an idiot to need reminding that going into Iraq was a farce in the first place since there were no weapons of mass destruction found and no connection between Al Quaeda, the perpretators of 9/11, and Saddam Hussein. But you may not have realized that Cheney, Powell, Rumsfeld and other hawks consistently ignored their own agencies’ research and intelligence to push through their plans to invade in Iraq. Several of these warmongering goons were the architects of the first attack on Iraq under Bush Sr, and were determined to finish the job and attack Iraq well before 9/11 gave them an excuse which the American public, reeling from grief, would accept. A poor excuse, but one which many Americans still believe. (I’ll never forget a young guy on a bus explaing to his girlfriend, “Yeah, they couldn’t find Osama so they went over to his country and got rid of their king.”) Sadly, that’s how simple many Americans are. And with the news acting as such an effective pro-war propaganda machine, you can’t always blame the people who for having misconceptions. Two bastions of the “liberal media”, CNN and the NY Tmes both publicly apologized—when it was too late--for not asking tougher questions on the invasion of Iraq.

But what you may be startled by is some of the ways in which
this war was mishandled, time and time again. The facts and figures were coming so quickly that I couldn’t grasp them all, but here are a few which stuck out. This is really more of a summary than a review, but to see all of these the facts/opinions from the major players of the Iraq “reconstruction” packed into 102 minutes is a powerful and damning glimpse inside a corrupt and careless administration.

Initially, we were welcomed by Iraqis as liberators.

This view changed when widespread looting broke out, and American soldiers did nothing to stop it. (They were too busy looking for WMD and Saddam.) Though scholars begged the military to protect a library containing some of the oldest manuscripts in the world and a museum full of ancient, priceless artifacts, the only thing our boys protected was the oil. So gangs were free to plunder these treasures and did.

Bush didn’t read the many dossiers produced by his own intelligent agencies which warned that invading Iraq would result in civil war. The dunce wouldn’t even read the one page executive summary provided for him! When the NY Times reported on the dire warnings from Bush’s own staff, he dismissed the reports he’d never read as “guesswork”. Excuse me, honey, but if you refuse to read the reports of your own agents regarding the aftermath of your attack, aren’t you the one doing the fucking guesswork? Kinda reminds me of that old redneck Vietnam slogan I heard growing up: “Kill ‘em all an then sort them out later.” It’s typical of Bush’s schoolyard bully approach to foreign policy with no foresight or responsibility. Just attack. The footage which shows Bush proudly bobbing his head when he proclaimed “Mission accomplished” in uniform aboard that ship makes him look like a revoltingly cocky red-neck rooster who’s just ousted his competition in the hen-house. I’d seen the footage before, but the man’s body language, particularly in light of the hollowness of his “victory”, really is disturbing on a big screen.

ORHA, headed by Barbara Bodine, was the first US envoy sent to govern post-war Iraq. Very well respected with experienced in the Middle East, Barbara was floored by the lack of preparation which she was faced with. Her posse only first met at the Pentagon 50 days prior to their departure, and she joked about the chaos which welcomed her: “We didn’t even have a phone list—but it didn’t matter since for the first few days we had no phones.” Barbara was fired for being “difficult.”

There were 5 interpreters who spoke Arabic. (And you may recall that one or more interpreters were relieved of their duties for being gay, despite the severe shortage of interpreters.) But why would you bother to communicate with someone who might disagree with you? It’s easier to just kill ‘em!

Again and again, Bush-appointed official were relieved of their duties when they didn’t cow-tow to the White House’s hawkish agenda. From distinguished generals Jay Garner and Shinsekei, who recommended from the start that many more troops were needed to secure the region. In comparison to the number of boots on the ground deemed necessary for other recent military occupations, the amount of troops authorized by the Pentagon for Operation Iraqi Freedom—yeah, freedom from water and electricity—was a fraction of what was needed. Which confirms my suspicions that the war machine wasn’t just inept, their goal is chaos in the region which isn’t going to end—hence the flick’s name…

An American professor visiting Iraq was surprised to bump into one of his students in the Palace. When he asked her what she was doing there--she’d just graduated--she told him that she was in charge of organizing Baghdad’s traffic. The professor expressed shock that this totally inexperienced recent graduate would be given such a daunting task. Many such inexperienced appointees to Iraq got government jobs as payback for their daddy’s campaign contributions to Bush.

L. PAUL "JERRY" BREMER: HOW CAN YOU ALWAYS TELL THE SICKEST REPUBLICANS FROM THEIR OUTDATED NEWSCASTER HARICUTS LIKE JERRY'S AND THE ONE TOM DELAY SPORTED?



The most disastrous appointment was Jerry Bremer, who in lock-step with the Bush administration, enacted several devastating changes.

All members of Saddam’s Baathist party were immediately fired. This intensified the chaos, ridding the country of it’s civil servants, librarians, and everyone who else who made the country run smoothly. Well, as smoothly as Saddam’s brutal dictatorship ever ran.

Then Bremer disbanded the Iraqi army, which sent 100,000 disgruntled, unemployed armed men into the streets filled with hatred towards their occupiers. The groundwork for the insurgency was laid. At the time, the Americans still were not really protecting against the peace. They were too busy busting in the doors of Iraqi families in the middle of the night to arresting large numbers of military-aged men—just for being of military age. In a country in which women don’t usually work, these arrests yanked away families’ breadwinners, adding yet another gripe of US forces. Because of the looters frequent raping and kidnapping of children, women had already stopped driving and largely stayed indoors.

Also left unguarded were huge stockpiles of weapons left by Saddam, to which the thugs helped themselves, despite repeated warnings to US officials that they must secure them. (Duh!) I suppose the film was finished before recent figures were released which show that 180,000 US weapons were “lost.” If I’m not mistaken, there was also a massive amount of US funds unaccounted for recently. Aren’t you glad your tax dollars are being spent so wisely?

Adding to the craziness, 45,000 US contractors set up shop in Iraq to profit off of the war—another reason I think that this war will never end--it makes companies like Halliburton too much money. To give you one example of how these no-bid contractors are robbing us blind, two similar buildings were erected. One by a using local Iraqi labor and one by Parsons. The first cost $600,000, the second over $2,000,000. (I think I got this figure right. It might have been $200,000 for the first figure.) Which would you rather pay? Americans get so excited over the idea of tax cuts. I wonder how much each of these losses could have tacked onto our refunds?

The independent contractors also have their own security forces, which are free from the rules which dictate the US military’s conduct. They’re able to shoot and kill as they please and the documentary actually obtained a home video from one of the contractors’ security which shows them joy-riding around with country music blaring as they shot out cars on the highway.



This private militia was probably armed better than the US soldiers, though the US spends more on defense than every other nation combined. In one memorable scene, a soldier asks Rumsfeld at a press conference why they don’t have armored humvees. The large group of his fellow soldiers burst into applause at the voicing of a question, concerning their safety, which was obviously on all of their minds. Rumsfeld responds with his famous line “You don’t go to war with the army you want, you go to work with the army you have.” Well, Rummy, if you really cared about the soldiers welfare, maybe you’d wait until you I have proper equipment before you invade—I mean liberate a nation.

One marine recalled how at one point, desperate for armor, the troops would try to pick pieces of bullet-proof glass and metal from wrecks to paste onto their cars to make them a little bit safer. He wondered why all of the car companies closing in the states from lack of business couldn’t be resuscitated as producers of armored humvees. Good point! At the end of the film, this earnest young marine asks “Is this the best America can do?” There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

I’m a confirmed peacenik who has never supported the war in Iraq. But this documentary actually made me respect the military more. There ARE intelligent, responsible men and women in these intelligence agencies giving the president sound advice, which he promptly ignores. If he even reads it! (Did I mention that I think that winning for Bush is de-stabiizing the Middle East?) And there are very honorable soldiers who want to defend the US against a perceived threat. Too bad there wasn’t one in Iraq, the war that we’re still fighting years after victory was declared. And with a proven liar like Bush as your commander-in-chief of our military, you’re just a pawn In his greedy quest for oil. One soldier with facial scars, tormented by epileptic fits since his return home from duty, expresses his hope that the Iraq war will be won so he can feel that his suffering was for something meaningful. I hope he’ll settle for something that’s just plain mean.

I feel like I’ve given a lot of the movie away, but since it has a very limited release, many of you may never get a chance to see it. One other point which resonated with me was that due to the economic hardship resulting from the US trade embargo against Iraq throughout the Bush, Sr. and Clinton administrations, the Iraqi people turned to fundamentalist religion to comfort them in their time of financial need. With our own country sinking lower and lower into debt largely because of this war, I wonder if that’s why our nation seems increasingly fundamentalist Christian? Maybe Bush was taking better notes on policies in Iraq than anyone imagined. To use them on us. Hallelujah!


NY MAG I'VIEW WITH THE DIRECTOR, CHARLES FERGUSON

August 10, 2007

GORE VIDAL'S CALIGULA!

What do Courtney Love, Karen Black, sexy Benicio Del Toro and Helen Mirren in a bizzare, elaborate coiffure worthy of an 80's Patti Labelle have in common? This movie! Looks fascinating!

From myspace.com:

Description: Trailer for a remake of Gore Vidal's Caligula version 1 staring: Adriana Asti - Ennia Karen Black - Agrippina Barbara Bouchet - Caesonia Gerard Butler - Prefect Cassius Chaerea Benicio Del Toro - Macro Milla Jovovich - Druscilla Courtney Love - Caligula Helen Mirren - Tiberia Mia Moretti - Priestes of Isis Michelle Phillips - Messalina Glenn Shadix - Claudius Francesco Vezzoli - Caligula Gore Vidal - Himself

The trailer:

Trailer for a remake of Gore Vidal's Caligula V2

Add to My Profile | More Videos

PHONE MARKETER FROM HELL!

"AMERICA'S MAYOR"

Giuliani, who is running on his record as a 9/11 hero, is actually a jerk who stupidly placed the emergency response center inside the towers, even though it had been a target in previous years. What leadership! I've always maintained that Rudy was hated by New Yorkers dduring his reign of error. He just got lucky with 9/11 since it made an unpopular mayor with marital problems look like a hero, just because he did his job at the tail end of his mayorship. He did nothing that any other elected official wouldn't do in the face of a disaster. And as AIR AMERICA's Rachel Maddow pointe out yesterday, he was too budy profiteering from 9/11 at his pricey speaking engagements to even meet with the Iraq Study Group. How caring.

Well, it's nice to the very firefighters, the real heroes of 9/11, slam this sham of a ham! Who just happens to be the GOP presidential frontrunner!

FROM THE DAILY NEWS:

Rudy Giuliani drew outrage and indignation from Sept. 11 first-responders yesterday by saying he spent as much time - or more - exposed to the site's dangers as workers who dug through the debris for the missing and the dead.

Speaking to reporters at a Cincinnati Reds ballgame he caught between fund-raisers, the GOP front-runner said he helped 9/11 families and defended himself against critics of how he managed the attack's aftermath.

"This is not a mayor or a governor or a President who's sitting in an ivory tower," Giuliani said. "I was at Ground Zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers. I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I'm one of them."

His statement rang false to Queens paramedic Marvin Bethea, who said he suffered a stroke, posttraumatic stress disorder and breathing problems after responding to the attacks.

"I personally find that very, very insulting," he said.
"Standing there doing a photo-op and telling the men, 'You're doing a good job,' I don't consider that to be working," said Bethea, 47.

Ironworker Jonathan Sferazo, 52, who said he spent a month at the site and is now disabled, runs a worker advocacy group with Bethea and called Giuliani's comments "severely" out of line.
"He's not one of us. He never has been and he never will be. He never served in a capacity where he was a responder," Sferazo said.

In the aftermath of the attacks, admirers dubbed Giuliani "America's Mayor," praising his leadership in the face of an unprecedented disaster. Detractors, including the International Association of Fire Fighters, which put out a scathing 13-minute video on his performance, suggested he profited politically and financially from the attacks.

"[Giuliani] is self-absorbed, arrogant and deluded," said IAFF spokesman Jeff Zack.

Responded Giuliani spokesman Michael McKeon, "Americans saw Rudy's performance for themselves during the aftermath of 9/11 and will dismiss this as the ridiculous and partisan rantings of a Democratic front group, because that's what they are."
Giuliani backer Lee Ielpi, a retired firefighter who lost his son, said no one's saying Giuliani dug through the rubble personally, but that doesn't mean he wasn't exposed to toxins.

"For me to say I saw him every day [would] not be fair," said Ielpi, who participated in the recovery effort for nine months. "But I can say I did see the mayor there a large number of times, [trying] to be as helpful and supportive as possible."

WHOLE ARTICLE: DAILYNEWS

TESTICULAR CANCER CHECK: DO NOT MASTURBATE TO THIS!

Even though all the guys are cute and young and playing with themselves.

SEE? SIGNING THOSE PETITONS WORKS!

Well, sometimes. So think twice before you scurry past one of those volunteers on the street!

Last Saturday, a historic House vote moved America closer to green energy policy. Thank you—you helped make it possible.

In crafting and passing the energy bill, our champions in Congress fought hard and won concrete steps to curb global warming and boost wind, solar and other renewable energy sources. Congress also voted to revoke some of the perks that the energy industry enjoyed under a Republican Congress—over industry's strenuous objections (see below for details on the bill).

How'd we get this far? MoveOn members pulled out all the stops. In the last few months, 1,011,568 of us took action! Together we:

Pooled our money to run two hard-hitting ads on energy—"Dingellsaurus" and "House of Representatives of Big Oil?";
Held 235 "Call for the Climate" events to make sure our message got out in the districts of key energy legislators;
Gathered over a million petition signatures to Congress to:
—stop liquid coal,
—increase the share of our electricity from clean energy,
—cut carbon emissions 80% by 2050, and
—protect American consumers for gas price gouging; and
Put in almost 11,000 calls to 150 key Congressional offices.
We weren't alone. Our allies at the League of Conservation Voters, the Sierra Club, US PIRG, and many other groups all pushed hard for progress on energy and climate too.

And MoveOn members were clear with our leaders about what's at stake:

It's time to do as the Bible urged us to do and be good stewards of the Earth. It's really the only intelligent thing to do.
—Ivey E., Columbia, South Carolina

How will we get China to turn away from dependence on DIRTY ENERGY SOURCES like coal if we embrace it?
—Margery S., Santa Rosa, California

I am a grandmother and I am profoundly concerned about the lives of my beloved grandchildren. Global warming gravely threatens their future.
—Virginia S., Branford, Connecticut

Somehow I still hold out hope that this congress will find it's moral collective voice and make some real changes that challenge this administration's short-sighted and reprehensible energy policies.
—Vicki R., Marina del Rey, California

Many times in our nation's history change has come and the entrenched powers fight to the last to keep what they have regardless of the needs of the nation. We are now, in another one of those periods! We must gain energy independence and clean up our environment.
—Larry S., Fitchburg, Massachusetts

It's a big fight, and there's plenty left to do. We still have to make sure a strong bill emerges from the House-Senate conference committee—and then get it signed by the President. And make no mistake—this bill alone won't solve climate change or take us all the way to a clean energy economy. We'll need to keep pushing, starting this fall, when Congress is slated to take up a big climate change bill.

But it's important to take a moment now and recognize the progress we've made. Getting this energy bill passed is an achievement that would have been impossible a year ago. Remember how the Bush energy policy was crafted by Dick Cheney and his oil industry cronies?

It's a big step, and you made it happen. Thank you,

–Ilyse, Wes, Tanya, Justin, and the MoveOn.org Political Action Team
Friday, August 10th, 2007


LISTEN TO DINGELLSAURUS.

THE ULTIMATE PING PONG MATCH

With W. C. Fields:

CHENEY URGES IRAN ATTACK!

We can't even win the war we've started and the soldiers are already stretched so thin that there are insufficient forces in the US to protct if we are attacked here. Get ready for that draft! These fools want to destabilize the entire Middle East so they can keep on profiteering from it and snatch oil. I hope they impeach the bastards before the draft or I'll have to dust off my best Klinger (from MASH) drag. "But Bunny, you wore it just last week and loooked just like him!"

WASHINGTON — President Bush charged Thursday that Iran continues to arm and train insurgents who are killing U.S. soldiers in Iraq, and he threatened action if that continues.

At a news conference Thursday, Bush said Iran had been warned of unspecified consequences if it continued its alleged support for anti-American forces in Iraq. U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker had conveyed the warning in meetings with his Iranian counterpart in Baghdad, the president said.

Bush wasn't specific, and a State Department official refused to elaborate on the warning.

Behind the scenes, however, the president's top aides have been engaged in an intensive internal debate over how to respond to Iran's support for Shiite Muslim groups in Iraq and its nuclear program. Vice President Dick Cheney several weeks ago proposed launching airstrikes at suspected training camps in Iraq run by the Quds force, a special unit of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps, according to two U.S. officials who are involved in Iran policy.

MORE: MCCLATCHYDC.COM


I saw this article on Huffingtonpost.com, which had scooped it from the little known website linked above. I'm glad that somebody is watching these warmongers. They are so shroudedd in secrecy that Bush didn't even reveal that he had Lyme disease last year. I love that Huffpo used this photo collage, cuz Bush really "ticks" me off.

A REAL RED SNAPPER!

Is this the most retarded thing ever? No, I mean besides my blog!

SECRET "SERVICE"

BULGARIAN DRAG STAR AZIS

With bleached facial hair and a Lene Lovich-style costume, this video also features some fine eastern european studs to get you all slav-ering!




Here's the lyrics, in case you on't understand the words:


Аз от твойта красота - ве че полудявам.
Аз от твоята ръка - почвам да треперя.
Аз в твоите очи - почвам да се давя.
Аз в твоите коси - искам да се гая.

Въздухът ми цял ду спираш,
направи се, че разбираш.
Ах, ако трябва излъжи ме -
колко ме обичаш.

Но казвам ти стига,
недей ме убива,
недей да ме палиш,
ах, защо го правиш?

Аз не съм единствено - само съм те имал,
аз не съм единсвено - вярвах, че живея.
Аз не съм единсвено - чувствах, че си в мене,
аз не съм единсвено - можех да се смея.

August 09, 2007

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!




















BUT BEFORE YOU TRY THAT, YOU MAY WANNA.....TRY THIS! WARNING: EXTRA VILE!

CHER IS NUTS!

You have to love a publicity shot with the tongue actually hanging out her mouth and a massive wig in classic Cher style! This superstar has given drag queens so much to work with over the years!

A BEAUTIFUL POEM!

I found this beautiful summer poem and thought it might help make your day. It did mine, and it's very well written.




ENJOY!





" Summer "


a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre








SHIT! IT'S HOT!

The End.



Isn't that simply beautiful?

JUNIOR VASQUEZ SPINS DISCO TEA!

I'll be in P'town performing at the A House (aka AA House!) this week-end, but superstar dj Junior V. will fill in with an emphasis on Paradise Garage classics--and he was there so it should be great! It's this Sunday and here's the info:



SUNDAY AUGUST 12, 2007

Christina Visca Presents a special edition of DISCO TEA
Sunday August 12 7pm till 2 am

"The Godfather of Disco" A Tribute to the Paradise Garage and West End Records

Featuring Superstar DJ/Producer Junior Vasquez
Also featuring: selections from "The Godfather of Disco: Pioneer, Activist, Survivor: The Critically Acclaimed forthcoming Movie based on "My life at Paradise Garage: Keep on Dancin'" by Mel Cheren

Performance by Jason Walker debuting his rendition of Carl Bean's "I Was Born This Way"

Two for One Drinks
$1 Beers before 9pm

$5 from 7-8
$10 from 8-10
$15 10pm till 2am

August 08, 2007

YOU ARE 16 GOING ON 70

DAME JUDI DENCH PERFORMS THE SOUND OF MUSIC CLASSIC TO COMIC EFFECT IN TEENAGE DRAG AND A GORGEOUS, GIRLISH WIG. LOVE HER!

DR. NECCO FEELYA

MITZI SENT ME THIS DERANGED NONSENSE! ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE DR. NECCO FEELYA!



He's on the web to answer all your questions about--you guessed it--necrophilia and all of the special problems that it holds for it's afficionados. I wonder if the doctor has hear from Nicole Ritchie's boyfriend yet? Here are a few samples of his advice:

Dear Dr. Necco Feelya,
My boyfriend has a bug up his ass. Literally. I can't tell what kind of bug it is but it's been up there for months and only occasionally comes out to eat from the cat bowl. I'm afraid the thing will bite me in my sleep. Why should I do? Oh, did I mention. He's been dead for two years. Not the bug -- my boyfriend.

Signed, Bug Up His ass.

Dear Bug up your ass
How the hell do I know. I'm a doctor not an eptomologist. Maybe try a roach motel up his bum. Or, a firecracker.

Dear Dr. Necco Feelya,
I am very sensitive around my nipples. I've noticed this ever since I died eighteen months ago. Is this normal?


Dear Dr. Necco Feelya
Sometimes my husband likes to have sex with the turkey carcus after the guests have left. Is that necrophilia?

Signed, my husband's meat thermometer

Dear Meat Thermometer,
Sex with dead people is necrophilia. Sex with dead turkeys is Turkaphilia. In this case I would not suggest saving the leftovers, or making soup. Or, you'll wind up skimming more than just fat.


READ MORE: GIRLSANDCORPSES

There's even a store where you can pick up these eye-catching t-shirts!

FUDGE PACKER!



Maryland woman arrested after bizarre chocolate burglary binge

AUGUST 6--A Maryland woman who had fudge packed in her purse was arrested last week on charges that she burglarized an Annapolis candy store. Catherine Anne Delgado, 35, was nabbed after police responded to the Maryland House Hotel, where they found her crying in the lobby. According to an Annapolis Police Department report, Delgado had chocolate smeared on her arms and shirt, and there was so much unwrapped chocolate in her purse that it was spilling out onto a hotel sofa. Eagle-eyed Officer Robert Galusha recognized the fudge "to be of the same type which is sold at A.L. Goodies" a block from the hotel. A check of the candy store revealed a break-in, which was captured on several surveillance cameras. As cops investigated, Delgado unsuccessfully tried to flush fudge bricks down a hotel toilet. The "large amount of fudge" clogged up the toilet, reported police. Delgado was charged with swiping ten fudge loafs valued at about $70 and five M&M pretzels worth $19.45.

MORE: THESMOKINGGUN

SEPARATED AT BIRTH?

ELECTROCLASH SINGER TOBELL VON CARTIER



'60'S SINGER JACKIE SHANE (bio below)



Lounge singer Jackie Shane was considered very risque
during the more subdued Toronto club era of the early 1960's. As a
black androgynous soul singer, often backed by Frank Motley And The
Hitchhikers (featuring saxophonist King Herbert) at the Sapphire
Club, Shane commanded overflow crowds as much for his silky smooth
voice as for his flamboyant effeminate stage persona.

With constant club engagements throughout Canada and parts of the US
as far away as California and Hawaii, Shane was able to release his
one and only hit record, "Any Other Way", in April 1963. The song
reached No. 2 in Canada and sustained itself on the charts for 9
consecutive weeks.

To capitalize on his popularity he also recorded a live album but by
the late 1960's drifted into obscurity. Many rumours have circulated
over the years about his untimely death but none have ever been
confirmed. Shane's whereabouts is unknown. (Author of this bio also unknown)

JACKIE SHANE SINGS WALKING THE DOG IN A SEQUINNED TOP

August 07, 2007

BUSH LIKES BLACK COCK!

HERE'S HIS OWN ADMISSION!



BUT HE HATES ZOMBIES!

NICOLE NEWS

DEFINITION OF SASS

RUTH BROWN SINGING MAMA, HE TREATS YOUR DAUGHTER MEAN. THAT SQUEAK!

MIGHTY MOUSE PORN!

This latin stud looks just like Mighty Mouse, that old cartoon. I thought he was wearing a padded long sleeved shirt until he took it off! And I love the videographer's faggy commentary!

XTUBE

"AS EVIL AS A WET HEN"

Remember that Three Degrees post in whuch I mentioned the great rap intro from Maybe? Here's a pretty queen named Michelle Ross synch-ing it as a prelude for AND I AM TELLING YOU. The sound is a little off so crank it.

TROJAN AD WITH A TRANNY TWIST

WATCH VIDEO HERE!

SHEE HEE!

CLICK ON PIC TO ENLARGE!

BIZARRE PHONE AD

August 06, 2007

JACKIE BEAT'S SOAPBOX


I'VE HAD IT! (Reprinted with Jackie's permission.)

I am anti-religion -- I vehemently hate it. There, I said it! And I am sick of walking on egg shells out of concern for other people's feelings. If you honestly believe that the world is only 12,000 years old -- if you choose to ignore the dinosaur bones and the carbon dating and all the other evidence to the contrary -- then you deserve to have your feelings hurt because you, my friend, ARE A MORON. No, I do not respect your so-called beliefs. Why should I? Most religious folk do not respect the fact that people such as myself even exist -- and you can SEE me! And save your emails and letters -- I am religiously non-religious. In other words, my mind is made up!

I hate ALL religions because they are slavery, but for the sake of space I shall attack (yes, ATTACK -- just like "they" attack us as Gay people) the most popular pack of lies believed by many US citizens, not to mention our borderline retarded president, Christianity. And do not think for one minute that because I am attacking Christianity that automatically makes me, by default, a Satanist. To be a Satanist one would have to believe in Satan and I do not! Science & Nature is not merely a category in Trivial Pursuit, dear, it happens to be what I believe in. And I am sick and tired of hiding so I am coming out of the closet as a full-blown, hardcore, Religion Hater. This is just like when I came out of that other closet -- I feel so free! I would rather die tomorrow having told the world who and what I am (who and what I'm not?) than live 100 more years pretending to understand something that makes absolutely NO sense -- in my head or my heart.

And I am not talking about God here. "I am very spiritual" as they say. Heck, I can find God in a dog, in a sunset, in a bacon cheeseburger. I am talking about MAN-MADE religion. Do the math, it's really very simple. All you have to do is ask yourself, "Historically has religion helped people more than it has hurt them?" Ding, ding, ding! Either the microwave popcorn is done or you have come up the correct answer -- and that answer is that Organized Religion has caused more damage, more heartache and more bloodshed than anything else on this planet. You were not born a Christian (or a Jew or Muslim or any other religion). It is not a natural state -- it is learned behavior that has been forced upon you from birth, just like racism and homophobia. The Christians think the Muslims are doomed to eternal damnation and vice versa. The only reason you may be a Christian instead of a Muslim is because of where and/or to whom you were born. What both religions have in common is the fact that they both believe that being Gay -- a naturally occurring biological FACT -- is not only a sin, but a CHOICE. Bullshit! Being Christian or any other religion is in reality the choice, being Gay is not. As usual, what the great religions are saying is not only untrue, but in fact the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what is true!

Face it, religion was invented to keep us in line. The folks in charge needed an easy way to keep the unwashed masses from wanting too much or causing trouble, so they made a bunch of rules that we should all follow -- or else! Break a rule and burn in Hell forever. But have you ever noticed how flexible "they" are with the rules when it comes to themselves? Gluttony is one of the 7 Deadly Sins but how many Christians are obese? The Bible states that a rich man has as much chance of getting into the kingdom of heaven as a camel through the eye of a needle, but look how perversely rich so many televangelists and Christian politicians are. "The love of money is the root of all evil" but just think of all those hardworking Latin American Catholics scrubbing toilets or pruning hedges or burping your baby just so the Vatican can add another coat of 24K gold to its gaudy, over-the-top decor that would put Liberace to shame. How come its always the most pious leaders that are caught up in financial and/or sexual scandals? Don't even get me started on the priests who can't seem to keep their filthy hands off of children. And what about the most basic and obviously hypocritical aspect of all -- that Jesus said, "Judge not lest ye be judged." Still, those bloated and superior, holier-than-thou assholes look down and pass judgment on everyone and everything and yap, yap, yap away about who and what is evil. You wanna see evil? Look in your gilded mirror, you arrogant hot air balloon.

First it was RELIGION with THE DEVIL in HELL... Now that so few people believe that crowd controlling crap, and the few that still do are selective and only believe and follow what is convenient (Are you Gay? Did you have or are you having sex before marriage? You can't pick and choose, honey -- its called a religion because you follow it RELIGIOUSLY!) the lie is no longer working, so now we have TERRORISM with OSAMA BIN LADEN in a CAVE!

The message is this: You must NEVER truly relax, NEVER truly feel secure and NEVER truly be happy. Just keep spending, getting further in debt (more slavery) and concerning yourself with worthless diversionary crap such as Lindsay Lohan's latest bust or one of the Desperate Housewives' marriages, pregnancies or fashion blunders. It's like keeping a drooling idiot focused on something shiny: "Look, dum dum!"

The USA is quickly becoming the new Nazi Germany. Wake up! In the 1960s & '70s young people -- and The Gays -- caused trouble, made a stink and protested when things didn't seem right. And I ask you, do things seem right to you!? No. But now it's downright unfashionable and uncool to ask questions or make waves. I hate to break it to you, but true rebellion is NOT expressed through a haircut or by wearing an accessory from Hot Topics, faggot. Watch this...

VIDEO.GOOGLE

...and get scared. Then get angry. Then let's DO something.


FOR MORE OF JACKIE'S WRITING, VISIT HER HYSTERICAL BLOG AT JACKIEBEATRULES.COM

THE PUPPINI SISTERS



They're a UK-based vocal group with an Andrews Sisters-style three part harmony. I don't think I ever need to hear another version of Boogiw Woogie Bugle Boy or Mister Sandman, especially in the same stye. But do click the link and check out their quirtky versions of Heart Of Glass and I Will Survive. They also cover Wuthering Heights, but that's not on their player.

VERVEMUSIC

WAH WAH!

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, This guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too."

August 05, 2007

THE 11TH HOUR

Not the feel-good movie of the summer, but if you are choosy and don't see many films, this looks worth $11. Kudos to Leo Dicaprio, who produced and narrated it. Open 8/17. Here's the trailer:

CANCER SCHMANCER

FRAN DRESCHER BLOGS ON HUFFPO:



"I got famous, I got cancer, and I lived to talk about it. It took me two years and eight doctors to get a proper diagnosis. You've heard of a second opinion? Try seven "second" opinions. Honey, I got in the stirrups more times than Roy Rogers!"

READ MORE: HUFFPO

NEW DEFINITION OF AIDS

From ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA. NOT for the politically correct!

NO END IN SIGHT

This film opened 7/27 in NYC and DC only, but I think it's worth checking out if you can. What's unique about it is that from what I've seen, it doesn't pass a judgement on whether we should or should not have invaded--I mean liberated--Iraq like other documentaries. It just shows how once the decision to go in had been made, sooo many things were bungled.

From youtube:

Opens 7/27 www.noendinsightmovie.com The first film of its kind to chronicle the reasons behind Iraq's descent into guerilla war, warlord rule, criminality and anarchy, NO END IN SIGHT is a jaw-dropping, insider's tale of wholesale incompetence, recklessness and venality.

(Yeah, I don't know what venality means either, but just watch it!)

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE

I have never watched the TV show. I knew it was clever, but I couldn't get past the look of the cartoon. Growing up with the lovingly animated classics from Disney and Looney Tunes, I took me ages before I could embrace computer animation of any kind. Compared to shows like the Jetsons, in which even the backgrounds could be photographed and framed, the Simpsons seemed especially minimal. So I guess this dumb bunny foolishly judged that book by it's cover and missed out on years of great humor! Oh well! Better late than never!


LADY BUNNY'S BEEN SIMPSONIZED!



I still don't love the look of the Simpsons--for some reason it initially reminded me of Fido Dido--remember that minimally drawn 80's clothing line?--but it's much richer on a big screen. And there is a new gag every second! Sometimes, the lack of detail forces you to focus on the details which ARE there--usually a punchline on a balloon which floats by in the background or an easily-missed book cover. It really zings along with the zingers and keeps you on your toes. Lahoma van Zandt's always sung the show's praises so I knew it was smart, but I had no idea it was so irreverent. I totally shut down popular sitcoms after the 80's began, except for THE NANNY and MARRIED WITH CHILDREN, which I loved because the family members hated each other. (Note to self: speak to therapist about that.) There's a lot of that family feuding going on in The Simpsons, too, with Marge as the voice of reason which pulls them all together. And what a voice! Possibly because I did not grow up around many jewish folk in Chattanooga, Tennessee, I was fascinated by the New York-y RHODA and Julie Kavner (aka Marge), who played the dumpy sister to Rhoda's gypsy head-kerchief and hoop earring-wearing interior designer. Now Julie is ruling the nation with a hit TV show and the #1 movie in the world! I'm so thrilled for her. Doing voiceovers, she allowed her talent to flourish despite the fact that she wasn't a beauty. Atta girl!

And through all the laughs and the lightning pace, there's even a message! And it's an anti-government message at that--when Homer finally joins his family in saving their town against a deceitful regime which doesn't have the public interest at heart. WHAT A GREAT MESSAGE! (Hint, hint!) MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL GET INVOLVED WITH FIGHTING OUR OWN DECEITFUL GOVERNMENT!!! The majority of the country is against the Iraq war but unless we get involved and start fighting what we know is wrong, the deceitful side is going to win. And speaking of deceitful, the film even lampoons Fox, it's own network. I guess when you're on top you can do whatever the fuck you want. I'd recommend this to anyone over 6, though I hope that The Simpson's development with Fox doesn't translate to Fox getting a financial cut so it can deceive more of us with it's rotten "news." If that's the case then buy the bootleg! But see this film! Loads of fun.

IN SAN FRANCISCO?

Heart-wrenching chanteuse Connie Champagne (a genetic female) as Judy Garland and Kiki and Herb are getting rave reviews!





BEYONDCHRON