DR. NECCO FEELYA

MITZI SENT ME THIS DERANGED NONSENSE! ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE DR. NECCO FEELYA!



He's on the web to answer all your questions about--you guessed it--necrophilia and all of the special problems that it holds for it's afficionados. I wonder if the doctor has hear from Nicole Ritchie's boyfriend yet? Here are a few samples of his advice:

Dear Dr. Necco Feelya,
My boyfriend has a bug up his ass. Literally. I can't tell what kind of bug it is but it's been up there for months and only occasionally comes out to eat from the cat bowl. I'm afraid the thing will bite me in my sleep. Why should I do? Oh, did I mention. He's been dead for two years. Not the bug -- my boyfriend.

Signed, Bug Up His ass.

Dear Bug up your ass
How the hell do I know. I'm a doctor not an eptomologist. Maybe try a roach motel up his bum. Or, a firecracker.

Dear Dr. Necco Feelya,
I am very sensitive around my nipples. I've noticed this ever since I died eighteen months ago. Is this normal?


Dear Dr. Necco Feelya
Sometimes my husband likes to have sex with the turkey carcus after the guests have left. Is that necrophilia?

Signed, my husband's meat thermometer

Dear Meat Thermometer,
Sex with dead people is necrophilia. Sex with dead turkeys is Turkaphilia. In this case I would not suggest saving the leftovers, or making soup. Or, you'll wind up skimming more than just fat.


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