June 30, 2010

THE BOONDOCKS TAKE ON TYLER PERRY

BUNION HITS TORONTO!



THIS COW WILL BE PERFORMING AT THE APTLY NAMED CLUB THE BARN THIS SATURDAY NIGHT!


MORE: YAHOO.COM

June 29, 2010

THE "BEST" OF UNCLE GODDAM

BEYONCE, GO AWAY!

I'M GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY PERSON SICK OF HER AND HER IGNORANT LYRICS!



The truly ig'nunt thing about the lyrics of Bills is that they sing:

Can you pay my bills/Can you pay my telephone bills/Can you pay my automobile/Then maybe we can chill?

I don't think you do/So you and me are through

Aside from the tragic fact that she's trying to hook for the price of a telephone bill, she's asking CAN YOU PAY MY BILLS and then answers it with I DON'T THINK YOU DO. That don't make sense? It should be I don't think you CAN. If she or her writers were interested in making sense. It's not like can is such a difficult word to rhyme with. I don't think you can/so you can't be my man, for example. I'm sorry, but this is pitiful.


TODAY'S VINTAGE VIDS

(COURTESY OF POLLY GRIP'S AMAZING FACEBOOK PAGE)







HILARIOUS VOCAL IMPRESSIONS!






June 25, 2010

ENGLISH LESSONS FROM A JAPANESE HOOKER

HASIDIC GAGA!

AFGHANISTAN DISCOVERS YOUTUBE

NO COMPRENDE!

June 24, 2010

I ALSO DANCE FOR FOOD!

GASP! I'M HISTORY!



HOW DO THEY KNOW WHERE THE FIRST HOVEL I LIVED IN WAS IF I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER? OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I'M STILL LIVING THERE! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S INCLUDED AS THE KICK-OFF FOR A GAY PRIDE RIDE. If you really want to recreate my magic moments in that "historical" local of great significance, then you'll ne...ed to stumble out of the lobby bombed with a syringe in each eyeball and stagger around the streets until you've blown 20 homeless men. Well, I had some "light" nights!

Pride Ride

Pedal from Lady Bunny’s first apartment to the place where J. Edgar Hoover cross-dressed on this gay-history bike tour, Thursday 24 and Saturday 26. 10am–4:30pm; $95 (includes bike, helmet, guide and lunch). (bikethebigapple.com). Register to receive start location.

MORE INFO: TIMEOUTNY

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REAL MCCHRYSTAL SCANDAL?



It has nothing to do with McChrystal’s insubordinate remarks about his bosses.

It has nothing with Obama’s accepting the general’s resignation.

I haven’t even read much about this “breaking news.” I don’t need to. The real scandal was already in effect.

THE REAL SCANDAL lies in the fact that the war in Afghanistan has now gone on longer than any other war in US history, yet for some reason it’s known as “the forgotten war.”

THE REAL SCANDAL is that Obama has sent 3 times more soldiers to the country than George W. Bush did.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that Obama announced this jump in troop numbers as a “surge.” Excuse me. A surge is a quick pulse, a quick flare-up, or as Obama meant it, a quick and forceful military escalation to defeat our enemies once and for all. But no matter how you define “surge” it will always be something quick. Sorry, but anything involving years ain’t no kinda quick no way no how.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that to date, the expenditure in Afghanistan will soon reach $1 trillion. Hmmmm. Might that chunk of change come in handy in this country? In February, the Pentagon even spent more in Afghanistan than in Iraq!: $6.7 billion in Afghanistan, $5.5 billion in Iraq.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that a good chunk of this change goes to pay off Afghan warlords so they can continue harvest and sell 90% of the world’s heroin poppies. Most of the heroin comes to this country and we pay again by giving change to junkies. And then our tax dollars pay for the junkies' needle exchanges and methadone clinics for them. What a racket!

THE REAL SCANDAL is that no one can really define our mission in Afghanistan. Troops were deployed to battle Al Quaeda’s stronghold there. That stronghold moved to Pakistan. General Petraeus himself stated recently that the number of Al Quaeda still in Afghanistan is in the double digits, IF ANY! So what exactly are our troops doing there? It has been widely stated that US policy will not change due to McChrystal’s departure.

We are currently using the military technique called counterinsurgency. But the insurgents have all left the country--so who is it we’re countering? The troops are now stabilizing the war-torn country by building schools and other trappings of civilization so that the future insurgent candidates will be so comfy they’ll be less likely to insurge.

Soldiers building schools, hungh? We sure could use some of their manpower back home. We could also use some soldiers to patch up our ailing infrastructure. Or they could head to the Gulf and operate those booms which would have been much more effective against guarding the land against the oil spill if BP had applied enough manpower to set it up and maintain a system of booms properly. But no, the military is too busy trying to stabilize a backward country with a dozen Al Quaeda in it as our country becomes poorer and messier every day.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that Obama has chosen David Petraeus to replace McChrystal. Really? General Betray Us who was the subject of a controversial Moveon.org ad ? The ad claimed that in Iraq, Petraeus "offered a twisted version of the truth designed to support prolonging the war" and that "the public needs to know that Petraeus is neither objective nor trustworthy when it comes to assessing progress in Iraq." THIS IS THE HAWKISH LIAR WE ARE SENDING TO REPLACE MCCHRYSTAL? A GUY WHO FUDGED THE NUMBER OF TROOPS WHO DIED IN IRAQ BY NOT COUNTING DEATHS FROM CAR BOMBS? I guess the Pentagon considers getting blown to bits by car bombs a natural cause of death.



THE REAL SCANDAL is that Afghanistan has been unconquerable for centuries—since the days of Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan, both of whom failed to tame the unruly region. Since then, the British, Russians and the US have all tried without success. But the people of this dirt-poor country have allegiance to whoever is offering them money for food at that time. Does a win for the US consist of stabilizing a nation with an incredibly corrupt government that’s made up of ethnic groups who’ve been battling each other for centuries based on deep-rooted, centuries-old feuds?

THE REAL SCANDAL is that according to the Washington Post, 53% of Amercians consider the war in Afghanistan not worth fighting.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that our government has no desire to withdraw from Afghanistan or win. Not only do companies get rich from war, but we need a military occupation of Afghanistan to create a pipeline to run oil from Iraq, which we are also occupying because it’s the largest untapped oil source in the world. And new discoveries of mineral deposits in Afghanistan could make it a gold mine of the lithium needid in the manufacture of Blackberries.

De-stabilizing the Middle East has been a documented priority for conservatives for decades. It’s much easier to loot a country that’s in shambles. We are there for the oil. And we must truly have serious addiction if we’re prepared to sacrifice military personnel so that a few can get richer by raping Afghanistan and Iraq. Greed keeps us there—not safety from further attacks.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that we aren’t making the US safer by occupying Afghanistan or Iraq. Long-term military occupations which result in many thousands of civilian casualties only make arabs/muslims hate us more, thereby ensuring future attacks on US soil for generations to come. If your family exploded in front of your eyes, wouldn’t you want to lash out at the villain responsible for it? The USA would is that villain.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that Obama has foolishly allowed a crisis in the Gulf of Mexico to make him seem indecisive. How could this intelligent man have forgotten that another crisis in the Gulf , Katrina, permanently soured the nation’s opinion of his predecessor’s effectiveness as a leader? Now we realize that Obama couldn’t go after BP too fiercely since it’s the 4th largest company in the world and he’s ruled by the almighty dollar. So in part, General McChrystal’s termination was orchestrated to make the president look like a potent executive at a time when Obama’s ratings were tanking over his handling of the spill.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that we should never have invaded Iraq in the first damn place. It’s this country’s first pre-emptive war and it was based on evidence of Saddam having WMD’s which we now know to be false. The perpetrators of this war should be in jail. Why isn’t Obama prosecuting them? Because he has the same war strategy as Bush!

THE REAL SCANDAL is that we allowed ourselves to be tricked so easily into invading Iraq with no evidence of their guilt. I can’t believe that two liberal lesbian friends from San Francisco actually cheered the attack on Iraq because they viewed Saddam as such a bad guy. The world would be a better place without his cruel dictatorship, they thought. So we ousted him, and the county descended into chaos. It could be argued that even though Saddam was a merciless dictator, perhaps he was the only bastard mean enough to keep his country’s warring factions in check.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that we consider ourselves a Christian nation yet we willing to ignore the commandment THOU SHALT NOT KILL to kill Iraqis who never had WMDs or plans to attack us.

THE REAL SCANDAL is that even liberal-leaning news outlets like CNN and the New York Times both publicly apologized for being soft on Bush and not questioning his motives to attack--after it was too late. (So imagine how soft Fox News’ questions were.) The press even went along with the White House’s banning footage of soldiers’ caskets from broadcasts. Of course, Congress members had to vote for the war or they'd seem unpatriotic to their constituents and not get voted back in..

THE REAL SCANDAL is that Americans are not Christians at all bloodthirsty terrorists. Sure, we were all in shock after 9/11 and therefore quick to seek revenge on any arab nation. Pick an arab, kill an arab, any ol’ arab will do. This is a deep stain on this nation’s honor and until we open that wound and acknowledge our enormous, bloody, costly mistake, the wound can’t begin to heal. We’ll bleat “Support the troops!” until we’re blue in the face, but we don’t seem to care WHAT it is that we support them doing. Or whether or not there is a good reason to put them in harm's way. We don't even want to know. Or even see their coffins, for chrissakes!

Due to our shallowness, we’re not able to describe or justify our mission in Afghanistan and Iraq. But I’ll bet you we’re totally up to date on the latest Jennifer Aniston’s scandalous romance, Lady Gaga’s s latest scandalous outfit, and the newest scandalous detail about the face of Heidi Montag. An about face to get the hell out of Afghanistan is the scandal we need to focus our pea brains on. And leaving Afghanistan isn’t likely to happen with a lying, hawk like General Petraeus now in charge.

MY ANNUAL GAY PRIDE REPOST

MARSHA P. JOHNSON:



I'M NOT A BIG POETRY FAN, BUT THIS IS EXCEPTIONAL. IT'S ATTRIBUTED TO MARSHA P. JOHNSON, A TRANSGENDERED STONEWALL VETERAN AND ACTIVIST WHO WAS A COLORFUL CHARACTER IN THE WEST VILLAGE UNTIL SHE PASSED AWAY SEVERAL YEARS AGO. HER MIDDLE INITIAL P STOOD FOR PAY IT NO MIND.

This poem is a much-needed reminder for mainstream gays who to this day often frown on drag queens even in the gay pride parade. They need to remember who started gay rights for ALL gay people. It wasn't the mainstream gays who could throw on a pink shirt one day a year and then return to their office jobs and butch up their act for the rest of the year. Trannies, drag queens, drag kings, sissies and other freaks on drugs started the movement at the Stonewall Inn, a mafia-run gay dive. So conservative fags, don't you even DREAM of trying to cut us out of the picture now that you've gotten what you wanted and don't consider us to be an accurate representation of the average gay. Maybe we're not. But no average gay gave birth to the gay rights movement.

This is also a fantastic message for young gays who enjoy today's freedoms with no thoughts of where those freedoms came from or who fought for them.


Can you spare any change for a dying queen dar—ling?
I mean I am dying.
I know you don’t believe me.
But I know what I’m talking about.
Yes I do.
Us queens know what we’re talking about because we’re for liberation, yes we are.
Look at the Stonewall.
When I first came to New York
all pressed and clean
in a white shirt and tie
what my mother bought me
I heard about the Stonewall
so I thought I’d go over and
check it out
and LORD!
Men are dancing with men
and one more gorgeous than another
and way in the back were my sisters, honey
turning it out in gold lame and wigs for days.

So
I was hanging out in the Stonewall one night
talking to Miss June, who was feeling low
and nodding out on downs
when she looked up at me and said,
“Them pigs come in here tonight
they better stay off my motherfuckin’ case.”
And she was right cause
we wasn’t bothering nobody
just hanging out and being ourselves
when don’t you know
sure enough
the whistle done blew
and in they come
pushing and shoving everyone just like
a bunch of pigs
and ain’t nobody said nothing
cause in them days
if you was gay
you didn’t say
you was gay

So they’re pushing and shoving
and nobody said nothing
til them came to the queens
then this pig comes up
and gave Miss June one slap
knocked her down
ripped her dress
and scratched her face.
Now Darling,
anybody will tell you
that a queen is sort of
soft hearted, easy going person
who you can sort of shove around
but Darling let me tell you this.
There are two things you cannot do to a queen.
One. You cannot rip a queen’s dress.
And Two…Don’t you ever, never
touch the face honey…
Well Miss June got up
screaming and yelling
when this pig goes to hit her again
so I said
”Hey, why don’t you leave her alone
she ain’t bothering nobody.”
And he turned to me and said,
“Shut up you sick faggot.”
Now Darling,
You can call me a lot of things,
you can call me
a queer,
a cocksucker,
or a crazy fool,
but ain’t nobody got no right to call me
a piece of wood.
That’s right,
a piece of wood.
I looked it up one day
and it was right there
in the Webster’s
a faggot is a piece of wood.
And Darling I ain’t no piece of wood
and I was telling Miss Pig this when
he came to knock me,
then Miss June picked up a chair and swung it
and everybody started screaming and fighting
and queens was getting their faces scratched honey
and you know what that meant.
And the next thing I know
we all wound up in the Tombs……..again.

Them pigs done
busted up our fun, busted our heads
and just plain old busted us.
But that was O.K., honey.
Yes it was
because that was the beginning of gay liberation
in New York
and in the world.
Yes it was.
And now everybody done forgot
who done what and why and how
and you know, sometimes
when I pass one of them gay bars
where I see my brothers or sisters
having a good time and turning it out
in all their liberated glory
and I see hanging right over that bar a sign
what says “No Drunks, No dogs, No drags.”
Can you imagine comparing me to a dog?
Well honey, I just want to break right down.
But I just pay it no mind,
that’s right darling, cause once you 86 me I tip
and once I tip I stay tipped.
And they can 86 me out of every gay bar in the village.
And they can 86 me out of every gay bar in New York.
And honey, they can 86 me out of every gay bar in the world
and I pay it no mind because I got my friends.
Yes I do, and I do know who my friends are.
My friends are people who love their gay sisters and brothers
including the queens.
My friends are people who got change to spare.
And my friends are people who smile at me and understand
when I say
Can you spare any change for a dying queen, Dar—ling?
So they next time you’re in one of them bars what has that sign,
“no drunks, no dogs, no drags”
the next time you see them
turning out one of my gay brothers or sisters
Honey, you just dig real deep down
into your pocket and take some of that change you’re saving for
your cold beers and your hot dogs
and get over yourself and
spare some change for a dying queen………dar—ling.


MARSHA P. JOHNSON SINGS!

RAINING OIL IN LOUISIANA?

JACKIE HOFFMAN AS OLD LADY GAGA

June 23, 2010

CRYSTAL WATERS AT WIGSTOCK

This brings back so many fantastic memories! Look for brief cameos from Willie Ninja, Candis Cayne (with her old nose!) and others whose names I can't even remember and many of them have stopped doing drag--should I take this as a hint? This harks back to a time when NYC gay life/the club scene was sizzling. 100% Pure Love was THE JAM and I was honored that Crystal dressed for the occasion in drag--which consisted of a suit and mustache. (OK, the mustache didn't stay on, but it's the thought that counts.) Crystal ALWAYS has the best dancers and I love seeing drag queens, the gays, club creatures and everything else getting down.

The year Cece Penniston performed Finally, I thought the pier was going to break off into the water from the shaking to that heavy bassline. That was one of the most thrilling moments of togetherness I've ever felt--and I hadn't even popped my hit of X yet! Even though my partner, Scott Lifshutz, didn't love the dance acts as much I did, I always included them. The slicker their acts were, the crazier that made the drag queens look by comparison. And at that time, the whole world was dancing to the beat of NYC. Show-stopping vocal house like Beautiful People and I Can't Get No Sleep. Dance divas like Barbara Tucker and Ultra Nate became regular favorites. Over the years we had musical acts as diverse as Debbie Harry, Boy George, RuPaul, John Cameron Mitchell as Hedwig, Cindy Wilson of the B-52's, Kristine W, Antony (of The Johnsons), Dean Johnson, La India, Michelle Weeks, Inaya Day, Jay Williams, Duane Harden, Byron Stingily, French Twist, Frieda, Wendy Wild, The Fleshtones and even Vickie Sue (Turn The Beat Around) Robinson! (R.I.P.)

June 22, 2010

JACKIE BEAT PARODIES ALEJANDRO

AND THE SICK BITCH TURNS IT INTO AN ANTI-GAY ANTHEM--JUST IN TIME FOR PRIDE! LOVE THIS!

Latest tracks by Jackie Beat

LATE NIGHT OIL FUNNIES

"The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car is fine.'" —Jimmy Fallon

"A congressman actually apologized to BP's CEO for the way the company has been treated. How stupid are you when the CEO of BP is in the room and people think you're the moron?" –Jay Leno

"Today, President Obama finally met with BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, but the meeting was only scheduled 20 minutes. Call me crazy, but I think it should take more time to discuss an oil spill than it does to get your oil checked." —Jimmy Fallon

"Now, I know Obama was trying to take the long view, but talking about solar energy in the middle of the oil spill is like watching your house engulfed in flames and saying, 'We really should change the curtains.'" —Craig Ferguson

"The president met with BP CEO Tony Hayward, and Obama was demanding that BP clean up the Gulf. And I'm thinking, good luck. They can't even clean up their gas station restrooms." —David Letterman

DRAG U SNEAK PREVIEW

COME JOIN ME CELEBRATE MY FIRST REGULAR TV SPOT! Episode #1 to be screened!

Wednesday, June 23: The Gramercy Theater, 127 East 23rd Street at Lexington Ave.



Join Spin Cycle as we kick off Gay Pride with a huge free party sponsored by Barefoot Wine and Logo TV's newest reality competition show RuPAUL'S DRAG U. Catch a performance by P...ANDORA BOXX & the launch of The Barefoot Wine Foot Fetish Shoe Auction benefiting Heritage of Pride (featuring shoes from Jackie Beat, Edie, Shequida, Hedda Lettuce, Mimi Imfurst, Sweetie, Britney Houston, Sister Myotis, Linda Simpson, Peppermint & more). 8-10pm. Hosted by Dallas DuBois, Logan Hardcore, Devin Stone, Blackie O., Misty Meaner, Bootsie & Gusty Winds. Music by Keo Nozari (Club 57) & complimentary Barefoot Wine & Bubbly. You must be 21+ with valid photo ID to enter. RSVP at http://gay.barefootwine.com/ (cut/paste the link into your browser). Space is limited.

TIM JAMES REPERSENT!

This is a funny fake campaign ad for an Alabama candidate. Spot on. The funny thing is, I was just at an airport in the boonies and SURPRISE! wanted something to eat. The only place in the Des Moines airport was serving panini, foccacia, and flat bread. No wonder these tea partiers are up in arms in dismay at their country's gone to the dogs with "press #1 for english", immigrants and jobs outsourced to distant lands and even a foreign-sounding President. They cain't even git toasted Wonder Bread fer breakfast anymore at the dadgum terrorist airport.

THIS GUY ATE HIS INMATE'S LUNG!

BUT HE WAS TRYING TO EAT HIS HEART. AN HONEST MISTAKE. ONE MIGHT EVEN SAY A COMMON ONE.



MORE: HUFFPO

TODAY'S UN-PC PICS!

NIGERIA PLAYED AGAINST GERMANY IN THE WORLD CUP.



BARBOUR-IAN

If a well-hung god was swinging it in my face saying "Suck it!" it would be hard to say no. If he were offering me millions to blow him, it would be even harder to refuse. So I guess I really can't fault corrupt politicians who take millions from oil to screw us. Except that they are in positions of authority which enable them to screw all of their constituents. I'm just giving 1 guy STDs.

This Porky the Pig lookalike is one of the worst.



IDIOTIC MISSISSIPI GOVERNOR HALEY BARBOUR IS NOW CLAIMING THAT THE MORATORIUM ON DRILLING IS WORSE THAN THE OIL SPILL ITSELF. WONDER HOW MUCH HE GOT IN CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS FROM OIL TO LIE LIKE THIS? HERE ARE A FEW OF HIS PAST BIZARRE ASSERTIONS ON THE CRISIS:

FROM THINKPROGRESS.ORG:

BARBOUR: Well, the truth is, Chris, we have had
virtually no oil. … We have had a few tar balls but we have tar
balls every year, as a natural product of the Gulf of Mexico. … So,
tar balls are no big deal. In fact, I read that Pensacola or
the Florida beaches when they have tar balls yesterday didn’t even
close. They just sent people out to pick them up and throw them in the
bag. The biggest, the biggest negative impact for us has been the news
coverage. … The average viewer to this show thinks that the
whole coast from Florida to Texas is ankle-deep in oil. So it may be
hard for the viewer to understand, but the worst thing for us has been
how our tourist season has been hurt by the misperception of what is
going on down here. The Mississippi Gulf Coast is beautiful. As
I tell people, the coast is clear. Come on down!

Barbour has consistently refused to accept the gravity of the
situation in the Gulf, and blamed the media for supposedly over-hyping
the disaster. He’s compared oil to tooth
paste, said all the oil on Mississippi’s beaches could barely “fill up a
milk jug,” and handed out gas cards to encourage tourists to
“[c]ome on down here and play golf, enjoy
the beach, catch a fish.” Meanwhile, dead
dolphins have washed ashore on Mississippi’s beaches.

MORE: THINKPROGRESS.COM

UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY PORTRAIT SERIES

WHAT A LADY! AN UMBRELLA AND A FAN? HAS TO BE SOUTHERN!



MORE PICS IN THIS SERIES: BREAK.COM

SPAM AS POETRY

I love it when international spammers' messages translate so pitifully that they could have been written by Lewis Carroll. This one from the "Tehran Times" triggered an acid flashback: "in your upturned faces tangled roots perplex her ways, that should have been sleeping in your upturned faces"

MOST INNAPROPRIATE MOM EVER?

I don't want to call this gal a bad mom because I know nothing about her parenting skills when she isn't making silly videos. But this is CLEAR PROOF that bare midriff tops are not for everyone! Especially grubby, sweat-stained ones.

JAHNA STEELE REMEMBERED

THIS TS HANDLED HERSELF SO WELL! AND THEN SINGS!

INTERVIEW W/ ERICA ANDREWS

THIS STUNNING TEXAS TS RECENTLY APPEARED IN THE CONTROVERSIAL FILM TICKED OFF TRANNIES WITH KNIVES. SHE REMINDS ME A LITTLE BIT OF RAQUEL WELCH, ANOTHER MEXICAN TEMPTRESS.



You would have to see her to believe her. She is simply…amazing. Gorgeous, contained, calm and professional. One part Miss Universe, one part 1940′s screen gem and one part, well…unbelievable! One of the most incredible entertainers of our time. We’ve watched her from afar for so long and recently we got a chance to get up close and personal with the one and only Erica Andrews!

1. How was Erica Andrews born?
Erica became Erica Andrews when Tandi Andrews made her daughter.

MORE: RAANNT

THIS CAKE TASTES LIKE SHIT!



AND THERE'S A REASON: Shop-owners sold chocolate cake sprinkled with human faeces

And their excuse was: After the case Hasmi said: "It was not our fault but I don't want to talk about it.

They must have REALLY hated their clientele. This cake was a favorite among late night college students who are going to be generally bombed. Especially in UK. But damn! You really have to go through a lot of trouble to take a dump and smear it on a cake and conceal it. I know this for a fact since I tried this when I worked at a bakery. But I never could match my own yellow, jaundiced turds to the chocolate frosting so I gave up and ate them myself.

FROM CARDIFF:


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-513621/Shop-owners-sold-chocolate-cake-sprinkled-human-faeces.html#ixzz0ra3GXlOz


MORE: DAILYMAIL

NOT VERY LADYLIKE!

A FUNNY READ FROM THE SPOOF:

Etiquette dooms unwitting participant in transsexual fistfight

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A Nob Hill resident was treated for a mild concussion after being knocked out cold by a transsexual in the streets of San Francisco Saturday night.

James Foreman said he had "just popped out for a pack of smokes" and was returning home when a fight broke out in front of The Motherload between what appeared to be two larger than average sized females.


MORE: THE SPOOF

IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS!

June 21, 2010

THE GENRAL TEA OF GENERAL YEN



TCM has an interesting selection of films in the upcoming week. They go on a Jane Russell and Natalie Wood kick, showing some of their lesser known movies. Then they go off on first a chinese and then korean theme. The Bitter Tea of General Yen is a very odd Barbara Stanwyck film from 1933 in which she's captured by a ...chinese general, who of course is played by a white guy. I highly recommend it to lovers of black and white oddities. This Wednesday at 12:30 PM.

WATCH TRAILER: TCM.COM

PRICELESS!

RUE MCLANAHAN ON DAME EDNA

AND SHE HOLDS HER OWN!

A STREAKER PERKS UP TEXAS GRADUATION CEREMONY

IF WE THINK WE'RE ADDICTED TO OIL...

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN KICK OUR ADDICTION TO AIRBRUSHING!

Can we live without the magic airbrush?
By Jonathan Owen

Debenhams has taken the brave step of launching a marketing campaign using photographs that aren't digitally enhanced

The game is up. It was bound to happen: a backlash against airbrushing and photo makeovers has seen a growing number of celebrities – from Madonna to Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears – exposed au naturel in recent publicity pictures.

Now the high street is following suit, picking up the trend for pictures without digital trickery.



INDEPENDENT

FINALLY! A DIET THAT COULD WORK FOR ME!

Oh wait! I'm already on it!

TAKING A BITE OUT OF RAPE



One girl out of 20 was raped in South Africa last year. How much are plane tickets down there? (Sorry girls, but some of us twisted gays actually have rape fantasies.) Here is a very bizarre solution to the problem of rape and a great read.

MORE: CNN

June 19, 2010

OK GO: END LOVE

PROOF THAT YOU DON'T NEED A MILLION BUCKS TO MAKE A COOL VIDEO. JUST CREATIVITY.

June 18, 2010

MIND-BLOWING CORRUPTION

I was bored on a plane and looking through the Village Voice. Even though I'm not interested in mob anything, I was bored enough to read an article on the Frazese family complete with robbing with guns to the head, wiretapping relatives, bank robberies, etc.

I turned the page and there was an even more outrageous arti...cle. This one was about a gang of thugs who repeatedly attacked a guy, took him by force to a hospital and had him admitted against his will to the psych ward. He was fired from his job and hit with a several thousand dollar fee for 6 days in the mental hospital. But the guys who put him there weren't mobsters. They were cops--THE GUYS WHOSE JOB IS ENFORCING THE LAW.

The victim was also a cop--who dared to record his boss's physical and professional bullying. Now I'm an anti-establish freak from childhood. This guy is a republican from Texas who was honorably discharged from the navy and became a cop to appease his mom's dying wishes after 9/11 horrified her. BECAUSE OF THE HONOR OF THE JOB. Hardly someone likely to make waves. But his bosses insisted on bullying him to ticket and arrest people to meet quotas.

I know there are great cops and they make a lot of sacrifices to keep us safe. But this is not about that kind of law enforcer. This is deeply disturbing and I urge you all to read it. I applaud this guy's courage for speaking out. And the Voice for covering this in a series. I even forgive them for their extremely stupid cover article which is a pathetic photo spread of chefs and their tattoos.

FROM VILLAGE VOICE:

NYPD Tapes 4: The WhistleBlower, Adrian Schoolcraft

He wanted his bosses to know about NYPD misconduct. So they put him in a mental ward

By Graham Rayman

Last Halloween, three weeks after he made allegations of misconduct in Brooklyn's 81st Precinct, Adrian Schoolcraft's career in the New York City Police Department ended in rather spectacular fashion.

On October 7, Schoolcraft had sat for three hours with an inspector, a lieutenant, and three sergeants with the Quality Assistance Division—the NYPD unit that monitors the accuracy of police reports—as they questioned him about his allegations that precinct bosses had refused to take criminal complaints and had downgraded crimes. They told him they would launch a substantial investigation.

After the meeting, Schoolcraft went about his normal work as a member of the 81st Precinct. Then, on the afternoon of October 31, he felt sick and went home about an hour early. Precinct supervisors appeared at his door hours later, claiming he had violated policy and demanding that he return to work.

One of his visitors was a deputy chief, who upbraided him while sitting on the edge of his bed. On orders from that deputy chief, Schoolcraft was then thrown to the floor, handcuffed, dragged from his Queens apartment, and taken against his will to a psychiatric ward at Jamaica Hospital. His forced hospitalization lasted six days. Police officers also removed papers from his home that documented his concerns about NYPD operations. Jamaica Hospital officials charged him $7,000 for his stay—and another $86 to obtain his own medical records.

Schoolcraft has been introduced to Voice readers as the Bed-Stuy cop who secretly taped 117 roll calls at the precinct, as well as many other conversations with his fellow cops. In our series, "The NYPD Tapes," the Voice has been making these recordings public, and they show a pattern of police downgrading crimes, intimidating crime victims, and enforcing quotas for writing tickets and performing "stop-and-frisks."

Schoolcraft also had his digital recorder rolling as his superior officers threw him to the ground and hauled him off to the mental ward. Those recordings reveal that he was rational throughout the encounter, and refused medical assistance that was then forced on him.

MORE: VILLAGEVOICE

BRAND NEW HEAVIES: I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU

MIKE DIAMOND IS A MESS!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT PARCO IS...

BUT I LOVE THEIR COMMERCIAL!

GRACE JONES WITH HER SON

IT'S IN FRENCH BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO SPEAK ENGLISH TO COMPREHEND HER REACTION TO GEORGE W BUSH.

WHO CARES IF IT'S TRUE!

FROM THE ENQUIRER:

O.J. Simpson is despised around the world, but inside prison, he's treated like royalty by his gay posse!

That's the startling revelation of a former inmate, who recently served time next to the disgraced football hero at Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center.

With the help of adoring prisoners and guards, O.J. is able to gamble on sporting events, get special privileges - and even receive massages from a group of gay inmates known as "The Girls," says the source.

MORE: NATIONALENqUIRER

ANDREA MARTIN AS ETHEL MERMAN

BYE BYE EMAIL!

So what happens when facebook crashes?

Sandberg said that only 11% of teens use email daily.

"If you want to know what people like us will do tomorrow," she told a crowded conference hall, "you look at what teenagers are doing today."

MORE: HUFFPO

KELIS: 4TH OF JULY

WHEN IN ROME

A ROME, GEORGIA MAN REFUSES TO STOP SMOKING CRACK AFTER ARREST!

MORE: ROMENEWS

CHARLES BUSCH i'VIEW

DRAG LEGEND CHARLES BUSCH INTERVIEWED ON EVERYTHING FROM DRAG RACE TO BERT SAVOY.



AN EXCERPT:

Yet I just couldn’t fathom those wannabe Next Drag Superstars. To be
sure, I spotted the eventual winner, Tyra Sanchez, early on, but if you
asked me why she was destined to win, I couldn’t have told you. She
...wasn’t as pretty as Tatianna or Morgan McMichaels, as glamorous as Raven
or Sahara Davenport, or as witty as Jessica Wild or Pandora Boxx. Tyra
was sullen, uncooperative, slow on the uptake, and ignorant of anything
in popular culture beyond Beyoncé: at one point she lost the thread of a
backstage conversation and asked in her gravely monotone “What’s
Bollywood?”

This is drag? I always thought drag was about camp style, a parody of
femininity and middle-class values. Camp is certainly a through-line of
drag from its modern beginnings in vaudeville female impersonation acts
like Julian Eltinge and Bert Savoy.

Savoy’s untimely death in 1923, in fact, may have been the ultimate
act of camp. According to legend, he was strolling on the beach with a
few friends as a storm approached. Startled by a sudden thunderclap, he
squealed, “Ain’t Miss God cuttin’ up somethin’ awful?” And then he was
struck dead by a bolt of lightning.

MORE: THIRTEEN

NO WORDS FOR THIS

SNEAK PEAK AT DRAG U! BEGINS 7/19 ON LOGO

June 17, 2010

DAVE CHAPPELLE IS MISSED!

THIS IS A RIOT!

MOVE OVER, OPRAH!

I'm so glad that Americans love justice so much that a judge's show is now out-rating Oprah's in TV's #1 slot. But do we crave justice outside of light, entertaining court cases with an amusing, sassy host? Not so much. PITIFUL!

TVSQUAD

WHITNEY IN COPENHAGEN

White is definitely not slimming. I'm bloated too but that's hardly gonna shock anyone. But how sad is it that I hope that Whitney's weight gain might mean that she's off the pipe?



EXAMINER

FAMILY FUN!

FREE NYC DRAG SCREENING 6/24

WHAT A LINE-UP! AND IT'S FREE! And you know the curator knows his stuff when Consuela Cosmetic is included in the mix!



Curated by Drag historian Joe E. Jeffreys, the festival will premiere
film and video footage capturing over four decades of New York’s top
male and female impersonators, presented in celebration of LGBT... Pride
Month. The show will include rare footage of: Brandy Alexander, Jackie
Beat, Bebe Zahara Benet, Milton Berle, Acid Betty,Lady Blue. Lady
Bunny, Bernie Brandall, Johnny Cat, International Chrysis, Sugar Pie
Coco, Miss Columbia, Lavinia Co-op, Consuela Cosmetic, Jason Cozmo,
Jackie Curtis, Sahara Davenport, Vaginal Davis, Machine Dazzle, Agnes
de Garron, Dayzee Dee, Bianca del Rio, Divi Divine, Raquel Dommage,
Dallas DuBois, Felicity Starr Dust, Ethyl Eichelberger, Lady Electrify,
Poison Eve, Flloyd, Zondra Foxx, Logan Hardcore, Barbara Herr, Mimi
Imfurst, Jacqueline Jonee, Keisha, Chi Chi LaRue, Hedda Lettuce, Gary
Lips, Lypsinka, Agosto Machado, Cissy Manchester, Glenn Marla, Jeffrey
Marsh, Dina Martina, MilDred, Rumi Missabu, Amanda Monroe, Mario
Montez, Glennda Orgasm, Genesis P-Orridge, Sun PK, Peppermint, Thomas
Prusik-Parkin, Cleofus Render, Flawless Mother Sabrina, Linda Simpson,
Ariel Sinclair, Eve Starr, Devon Stone, Sweetie, Tabboo!, Rod Thruster,
Tiara, Tish, Sherry Vine, Jesse Volt, Ivy Winters, Rose Wood, and
many, many more. See a video preview of the Festival here with
performances from Rollerena, Ethyl Eichelberger, Lipsynka, Ivy Winters
and more!

MORE INFO: LGBT

AM I A WHINER? AWW, WHY?



Yesterday, liberal talk sow host Randi Rhodes claimed that the only liberals who were griping about Obama's handling of the oil spill were the ones who had been hoodwinked into thinking that he was a messiah. I'm guilty of that. But after two punishing, soul-destroying terms of Bush, I needed I f#cking messiah! So maybe I drank the kool-aid and now I'm angry that Obama's more of a centrist who's never really going to take corporations to task. It'll be business as usual with politicians on both sides advocating policies to aid the corporations which donated the most to their campaigns. Our system is broken.

Randi claims that liberals whining about Obama are impractical. He is forced to deal with/go easy on BP since they are the only ones who have the technology to clean up their mess.

I've never been known for being practical. But no matter how I slice it, I can't help but fault Obama for enacting more of the change he promised. OK, so I'm a fool. I believed a campaign promise. Am I now being too hard on him? He did come into office facing this bizarre recession, 2 unpopular wars and did manage to take on health care reform, which he passed a crappy version of. So was it too much to ask to have him also root out the rampant corruption in the MMS, the meth and porn-using agency which failed to police the oil industry because it was staffed by former oil industry employees? While already in crisis mode, should he have been able to anticipate the disaster which led to the spill?

So am I just a disenchanted idealist or is Randi an Obama apologist? I just bear to hear anyone say "Imagine how McCain/Palin would have dealt with the spill" as a defense of Obama's response. Try soothing a dying pelican with that line of thinking. Or a fisherman out of work. Or a clean-up crew who will be fired by BP if they come to work wearing DONATED protective respiratory devices since that will demonstrate the clear health risks to workers and create a legal precedent which opens BP up to more lawsuits. And of course, the protecting BP must be our first priority. WHAT A MESS!

RACHEL TO THE RESCUE!

ZING!

Critics claim that Obama's oil speech lacked concrete plans. But one specific he did mention is the creation of barrier islands or berms. No scientist has endorsed these. Some have claimed that they could actually make things worse. Yet Governor Jindal and Obama are holding this up as a solution. We don't need a solution which clearly doesn't work! I can't even imagine why anyone is calling for this? It costs millions and a hurricane or even rough weather could sweep it away in a month. I'm not a scientist but does a barrier made of sand in the water sound stable or effective to you?



This next segment is Rachel Maddow at her absolute best--expressing the outrage over the oil spill in a mock presidential address. So many of you have claimed that we need oil and it's our way of life. Well, that's like a junkie saying I need heroin--that's what addicts do! Every president since Nixon has claimed we reduce our dependency on oil. But we're not ready.

RACHEL ON THIS:

People say we are not ready– they’re right; we’re not ready. We also
weren’t ready to fight in WWII before Pearl Harbor happened. I no longer
say that we must get off oil. We will get off oil, and here’s
how. The United States Senate will pass an energy bill this year. The
Senate version of the bill will not expand offshore drilling. The
earlier targets in that bill for energy efficiency and for renewable
energy sources will be doubled or tripled.”

I beg you to watch her passionate plea to try and correct this situation. It's great that Obama got 20 billion out of BP for affected gulf workers, but I much prefer Rachel's stronger stance with specific battle plans. This is not an issue of left or right. It's an issue of protecting ourselves against another disaster of this magnitude from corporations and a government which clearly only pay lip service to our safety.

June 16, 2010

OBAMA CALLED "RIDICULOUS" BY MARINE SCIENTIST

Gulf Oil Spill: What Obama Is Missing BY DAN FROOMKIN

As a result, some marine scientists worry that Obama is basing his conclusions on what's visible, and doesn't really get, even now, just how bad things really are in the Gulf.

Heightening that concern is Obama's new conviction, first expressed Monday afternoon after touring a staging facility in Alabama, that "in the end, I am confident that we're going to be able to leave the Gulf Coast in better shape than it was before."

That is a "ridiculous statement, and worrying," said Susan Shaw, the director of the Marine Environmental Research Institute. "Obviously he has no idea of the consequences, or doesn't want to."

HUFFPO

COURTESY OF LADY ESTHER GYN

Click pic to enlarge. It's worth it.

TOURETTES' RAP

SADLY, I LIKE THIS BETTER THAN MOST COMMERCIAL RAP.

CHER AND BOWIE MEDLEY

Sonia Rykiel sculptured outer-space wig. Cher must be applauded for her tireless and unabashed wig use!Such a bizarre medley--sometimes only singing 1 line from a song. Just give 'em a big finish and they'll forgive you anything. But they both must have known how cuckoo this was.

JASON LINKINS ON OBAMA'S OIL SPEECH

WELL, WE FINALLY GOT THE EMOTION FROM MR. COOL, CALM AND COLLECTED. BUT WHERE IS THE PLAN? THIS IS A FUCKING PRAYER TO SHUT US UP!

Obama's Oil Spill Speech: What Was The Point?

AN EXCERPT:

I mean, don't get me wrong. Obama really, really wants to stop the oil spill. And he really, really wants to hold BP accountable for the damage they've done. And he really, really wants the Gulf Coast to come through this hardship and he really, really wants to wean us from our dependency on foreign oil, and oil in general. But "really, really wants" is not a plan, and only the bitterest and most brain-dead of political opponents would have presumed, going into tonight, that Obama had not yet properly sentimentalized his opinions on any of those matters.


MORE: HUFFPO

THE RAT PACK'S BACK!

City's efforts failed to reduce rats from popping up everywhere. In related news, Hedda Lettuce will be popping up at several venues for gay pride. I'm kidding! (About her having gigs, that is.)



MORE: METRO.US

R. KELLY'S REAL TALK

SOME OF THIS IS REALLY FUNNY EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T STAND R. KELLY.

NY PRESS I'VIEWS FLOTILLA DEBARGE




NY PRESS: In light of the recent Turkish flotilla incident, after which Israeli officials have created an official inquiry, New York Press spoke with someone we assume to be an expert: drag queen Flotilla DeBarge, who was able to give commentary and insight into the international incident.

FLOTILLA: “You know, its funny because all of my friends were texting me that afternoon and saying things like ‘Girl, those Israelis got right up on you and and shot you in the head,’ and I was like, ‘What the fuck is this?’” DeBarge said in a recent phone interview.

MORE: NYPRESS

RECESSIONISTA TIP!

IN LA? DO NOT MISS!

SELENE LUNA'S NEW ONE-WOMAN SHOW BORN TO BE ALIVE.

MAD VIOLETS: COME OUT AND PLAY

I forgot how great Wendy Wild's music was. This is from 1986 but it sounds exactly like a psychedelic-era song. She was once rocking out with a band on the Pyramid stage singing and playing keyboards at the same time. I told her that her improvised keyboard-playing was amazing when she came offstage and she told me that she was tripping so hard that she'd been seeing two keyboards!



ALSO, (VIA JACKIE BEAT) CHECK OUT THIS GORGEOUS SONG FEATURING A YOUNG MINNIE RIPPERTON.



THE SAME GROUP COVERED ARETHA'S RESPECT.

June 15, 2010

SET YOUR DVRS!

It's on at 10:15AM Wednesday on TCM.

Legend Of Lylah Clare, The (1968)

An obsessed movie director grooms an unknown to play his deceased movie-star wife.

Cast: Kim
Novak, Peter
Finch, Ernest
Borgnine, Milton
Selzer
Dir: Robert
Aldrich
C-130 mins, TV-14

BUNNY HITS THE HAMPTONS!

X-RATED NEW ZOO REVUE!

PETITION OBAMA TO STOP OFFSHORE DRILLING

PLEASE SIGN IF YOU AGREE. IF YOU DON'T AGREE, GO JUMP INTO THE F#CKING GULF FOR A SWIM!

FROM MOVEON.ORG:

Tonight, President Obama will address the nation in prime time about the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico. According to White House aides, he'll call for clean energy legislation to end America's addiction to oil.

The problem is, the proposals currently in Congress are packed with more offshore drilling and taxpayer handouts to Big Oil—exactly the opposite of what we need.

This speech is President Obama's best chance to demand a real plan to cut our dependence on oil. That's why we're launching this petition now—which we'll deliver tonight before the speech—to call on President Obama to clearly reject any legislation that expands offshore drilling or gives taxpayer handouts to oil companies. You can add your name by clicking the link below:

PETITON

TWINCEST!

TOTIE FIELDS OUTROCKS GENE SIMMONS!

PHOTOSHOP NIGHTMARES!

THESE ARE HILARIOUS!

ODDEE

A TGI FRIDAYS COMING TO UNION SQUARE?

I HOPE THEY HAVE BOTTLE SERVICE! PUKE! We now have the same choices of places to eat and shop as they do in Montana. Remind me why we pay too much rent for tiny apartments again?


The Suburbanization of New York: Home Town, No Town, or New Town?

By Jane Holtz Kay

Is America's "greatest city" succumbing to 'burbism'? Is the nation's most vibrant urban nexus substituting suburban sprawl for the pulsating vitality of its neighborhoods? As anyplace architecture and automobile policies impinge on Manhattan...as big box stores wrapped with parkinglots maul neighborhoods...as traffic grows while walkability shrinks...and gentrification squeezes out the long-time low-rises for highrise interlopers, the questions multiply:

Is Manhattan slipping into the 'mall'-dom, car glut and sterility of suburbia?

Look at the vanishing ma and pa stores...the disappearing door-to-door cafes, neighborhood groceries usurped by chains, the idiosyncratic bookstore bowing to Barnes and (Ig)noble chains. The sidewalk, the preserve of the vaunted flaneur, is cut up by Big Box Store driveways where industrial-strength, anonymous Best Buy or Home Depot parkinglots shoot SUVs and Hummers towards the pedestrian. Forget meandering. Dismiss window shopping as idiosyncratic storefronts displaying knickknacks, idiosyncratic attire, and tasty food samples vanish at the base of blank-faced new towers that shun the jam-packed displays of a the once-lively art of window dressing.

MORE: JANEHOLTZKAY

POLE-LAND HERE I CUM!

BOY GEORGE, DANIEL NARDICIO, SHERRY VINE, JULIE ATLAS MUSE, ROSE WOOD AND I ARE HEADED TO POLELAND FOR EUROPRIDE! WOOHOO!

NEW MUSIC

NEW BLONDIE SONG WHAT I HEARD FROM THEIR UPCOMING ALBUM:



ANANE'S NEW TRACK PLASTIC PEOPLE SAMPLES MARIANNE FAITHFUL'S WHY'D YA DO IT?

RUN TO SE JOAN RIVERS' NEW DOC!

A PIECE IF WORK IS OUTRAGEOUS. LESS COMEDY THAN A GRITTY, BEHIND THE SCENES LOOK AT A TIRELESS COMEDY VETERAN. IT BEGINS WITH A SHOCKING CLOSEUP OF THAT BIZARRE MUG GETTING MADE UP, WHICH SHE CLAIMS SHE MUST DO EVERY MORNING. IT EVEN HUMANIZES THE HILARIOUS, AMPHIBIAN-FACED NUT. I WENT WITH MY MO WHO ISN"T EVEN A JOAN RIVERS FAN AND WE BOTH LOVED IT.



I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH THIS VILLAGE VOICE REVIEW:

"Unlike Mr. Warmth, John Landis's kindred portrait of Don Rickles, Joan Rivers is disappointingly stingy with shtick—so much so that you have to wonder if Rivers intuited that putting too much of her stand-up on film might be a potential threat to her bookings."

PUH-LEASE!HER MATERIAL IS NOT GOING TO THREATEN HER BOOKINGS BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS HILARIOUS. AND IF YOU SEE IT IN NYC, TRY THE IFC, WHERE THEY HAVE NO TRAILERS!

MORE OF THE REVIEW: VILLAGEVOICE

DONNA SUMMER SMOKED WITH THAT VOICE?

AND HOW LOVELY IS SHE WITH WIG AND NO MAKEUP?

I NEVER GET ENOUGH "SAUSAGE" EITHER!

June 14, 2010

PARIS IS BURNING STARS ON JOAN RIVERS!

This is in 5 parts on youtube. Peppa Labeija's look!

FREE TOILET BOYS SHOW TONIGHT!



FREE TOILET BOYS (FEATURING MISS GUY) SHOW TONIGHT AT THE GORGEOUS POISSON ROUGE. Just rsvp to the email address on the invite.

GAGA VS MADONNA

Don't let the title fool you. This is NOT the video for Lady Gaga's Alejandro. It's a video which juxtaposes images from Madonna's and Lady Gaga's videos to make the case that Gaga ripped off her elder. I don't care one way or the other but there are some striking similarities, especially when you consider how few videos Gaga has made. I'm not a major fan of either but I do really like the Madonna song that thi video is set to. SHE'S NOT ME almost has a Paradise Garage feeling to it.

THERE'S GOLD IN THAT THERE WAR!

(IMAGE AND TITLE FROM HUFFPO)

$1 TRILLION IN MINERAL DEPOSITS "FOUND" IN AFGHANISTAN, PENTAGON RELEASES.



Is the Pentagon releasing this "find" as a way to garner support for the war in Afghanistan, as people begin to wonder what we are achieving in a war which is now longer than either World War 1 or 2 or Vietnam? As if now it's going to be ok because there's gold to rob them of? But wait--this new find isn't even new news since it's been available since 2007. Let's legalize heroin and Afghanistan will really be a gold mine with no drilling needed!

FROM HUFFPO:

Read a little more carefully, though, and you realize that there's less to this scoop than meets the eye. For one thing, the findings on which the story was based are online and have been since 2007, courtesy of the U.S. Geological Survey. More information is available on the Afghan mining ministry's website, including a report by the British Geological Survey

You can also take a look at the USGS's documentation of the airborne part of the survey here, including the full set of aerial photographs. Nowhere have I found that $1 trillion figure mentioned, which Risen says was generated by a Pentagon task force looking to help the Afghan government develop its resources (looking at the chart accompanying the article, though, it appears to be a straightforward tabulation of the total reserve figures for each mineral times current the current market price).

According to Risen, that task force has begun prepping the mining ministry to start soliciting bids for mineral rights in the fall. Indeed, opponents of the war have questioned whether Monday's Times story is the Pentagon's latest attempt to persuade an increasingly frustrated American public that Afghanistan is worth the costs in blood and treasure.

BUNNY NOTE:

NOT TO MENTION THAT WE ARE TOO BROKE HERE IN THE US TO HAVE HOSPITALS, UNEMPLOYMENT OR SUMMER SCHOOL. THAT IS A LITTLE FRUSTRATING. But now we feel better since we can occupy some middle eastern country and rob them?


MORE: HUFFPO

SMOKHONTAS JONES

OK, magnum condoms as ponytail holders and chkoer is pretty amazing. At least she's using them. And getting some big ones, ok? I kinda doubt that this hooker/rapper is on any private planes but it does seem likely that she gets very high very often. I do love this wise comment from youtube:



It's bizarre the double standards some of the commenters on this video are harboring. "Pimping" has been glamorized SO much in the world of hip hop, but then someone who's *actually* a sex worker writes a song about it and people flip out about how degrading it is? Pimping=good and prostitution=bad? That's about as anti-feminist as you can get. I LOVE the concept of female sex workers singing about the reality of their work. Nice job, ladies!

A LESSON IN SNAP

CUCKOO!

AMEN TO THIS!

June 13, 2010

IT TAKES A VILLAGE!

There is a meeting on Monday (tomorrow) to fight for a new hospital to replace St. Vincent's. We need a health care facility in the Village. I can't believe Titanic victims were taken there! 187 years! Horse-drawn carriages used to be the emergency vehicles.

MONDAY'S MEETING - 630pm LITTLE RED SCHOOL HOUSE
6th AVENUE @ BLEECKER

THIS VIDEO ABOUT THE RECENTLY CLOSED HOSPITAL IS VERY TOUCHING>

IMAN'S CDFC AWARD AFTER-PARTY



I’ve been to a zillion parties in my time, but spinning at uber-model Iman’s after-party for her CDFC award has to be in the top twenty in terms of glamour and sheer fun. I’m not the biggest ass-kisser, but I must express a hearty thanks to the Stephen Gan, James Kaliardos and Cecilia Dean at Visionaire/V magazine for using me at so many fab events all over the world for more than a decade now. With this gang, I’ve traveled to Paris, London, Milan, Tokyo, Beijing, Bangkok, and Seoul. One thing my parents taught me is to see as much of the world as you possibly can and with this crew I’ve crossed quite a few destinations off of my list.



The Standard is not an exotic locale—thankfully, it’s within walking distance of my apartment. My wig was too big to fit into a cab without lying sideways and I’m temporarily banished to wearing flats after knee surgery so I hoofed it to work in the rain. Those dome umbrellas are meant to cover your whole upper torso, but on Miss Moose here, it barely shielded my gargantuan coiffure!





I’d never been to The Standard but it is completely lovely. Iman’s do was held in the new Black Room. In fact, the theme of the party was Black. It’s a nutty idea to throw a black supermodel a black-themed party in a black room but I doubt if anyone took offense. Or even made that connection. But the crowd was largely African-American so maybe they applied the theme to the guest list as well?

RICHARD ALVAREZ AND V'S STEVEN CHAIKEN GUARDING THE DOOR



V'S CECELIA DEAN AND JAMES KALIARDOS WITH UNKNOWN FOX



OPENING DJ LINDSAY



I arrived early and was rocking to the musical selection of DJ Lindsay, who spun many of my all-time favorite songs like Aretha’s Rock Steady, Me’lisa Morgan’s Fools’ Paradise, Gwen McCrae’s Funky Sensation and Womack and Womack’s Baby I’m Scared of You, which I’m convinced is the basis of the beat of reggaeton. (The musical genre with one beat.) She pulled out a few surprises too—I’ve never heard any dj play Tom Browne’s Thighs High (Grip Your Hips And Move.). (Tom’s hit was Funkin’ For Jamaica.) For a soul-loving crowd it was perfect.

ASIANS DO LOVE THAT FUNKY MUSIC! GETTING WAY ON DOWN!





Many future Imans were there to celebrate. I don’t follow fashion so I couldn’t name them, but damn did these skinny, exotic creatures make feel dumpy—especially in flats. By the end of the night, I felt so stocky that I was about ready to run home and order some neck stretching rings! A diet might be more practical, but since when have I ever been practical?

MY NEXT LOOK?





THIS GIRL'S MUG IS BEYOND BELIEF! SO SORRY ABOUT HER HUNCHED BACK!



These three ladies each wanted a pic with Bun and laughed that they were fighting over me. I told them “I wish you were men!” Pause. “You aren’t men, are you?” One replied “No!” in a very deep voice to which I shot back in an even deeper one “Good, cuz I’m straight.” Guess you had to be there.



LOVED THIS CHUNKY NECKLACE WITH A HUGE GEM. ANY IDEAS WHO MADE THIS? I SIMPLY MUST ROB THEM.



IS THE CHICK IN THE MIDDLE A WILLIAMS TWIN?



THE GUYS WEREN'T ANYTHING TO SNEEZE AT EITHER!













I LOVE A METALLIC/REFLECTIVE TIE!



THIS GUY IS KNOWN FOR HIS "GUM HITHER" LOOK.





Kelis, always upbeat and sassy, popped in and wearing heels so high that she was taller than me! The dj played her new track Parallel Lines and I marched up to her with my fingers in my ears whining “What’s wrong with this dj? She’s awful!” She loved the abuse.

WHO DESIGNED KELIS'S GORGEOUS BOOTS?



I KNOW WHO DESIGNED MY POST-KNEE SURGERY FLATS: PAYLESS! WHY PAY MORE?



I love soul music and disco, so by the time I’d finished prancing to Teena Marie’s Square Biz, my wig had had it. That’s the great thing about Vicodin—you just don’t care. It was prescribed for me after knee surgery and I have n’t had much experience with it. I wasn’t really in that much pain after the surgery, but from what I can tell, the drug doesn’t stop the pain as much as it gives you a great buzz. So you just laugh and think “Whee, I’m in pain!”

THESE TWO MODELS CREATED THE MOST UPROAR.



I missed Iman’s entrance, so Stephen grabbed me to take me to her corner, where the goddess was seating chatting with friends. I can’t describe the thrill I felt when this goddess leapt up to greet me warmly. Gorgeous, exotic and friendly? What more could you possibly want? I was in heaven. Some photographers gathered round to snap Iman and I-man seated together and I began to berate her light-heartedly. “Is that the best pose you’ve got?” (Because of the low seat, her long legs were pooching up and out in an almost masculine way so I mimicked the pose. She knows I’m retarded and seemed to enjoy it. I went on to tell her “So you got an CDFC award. I got the STD award. AND I GOT IT FROM YOUR HUSBAND!”



Not wanting to dog her, I mingled some more and could not stop repeating the line from Queen Latifah’s Come Into My House, which clears the floor when I play it but it worked that night for the other dj. You gotta love any song which begins “Welcome into my queendom/Come one come all.” But I could not stop repeating to Kelis or anyone else who I marched up to the genius line: “Hip hop house hip hop jazz/With a little pizzazz.” What a wild rhythm that line has! Is that what you call syncopated?

LADIES OF THE '80's



Finally, it was my turn to “man” the decks and they had some technical glitch with the equipment, which I was not familiar with. The cd deck was too high tech for me and it showed track names but was on some sitting which played a different song than the track name displayed. So by mistake, I started with Kenny Bobien’s house cover of Patti’s You Are My Friend. It would have made more sense if Patti was there, but I guess the diva didn’t make it. No big deal—I’ve worked with her 4 times but always love to see her.

A DRESS YOU CAN'T SIT DOWN IN!



David Bowie wasn’t there either. I was originally scheduled to dj at the dinner at Indochine but since I play dance music, I am more at home at a proper party so they moved me to the more dance-y function. I don’t really like eating…to dance music. But I saw a facebook post from Joey Arias who performed a song at the dinner. He said that Bowie wasn’t feeling too well. Duh! Who is after on of Joey’s poorformances? Especially after eating? Actually, Joey and his friend Klaus Nomi were David’s back-up singers on SNL in the late ‘70’s!

I’d gone through a zillion music choices, even grilling Facebook pals for suggestions. They gave me some great ones and I did burn a few cds with art rock dance tunes like ESG’s Standing In Line, Bostich by Yello and Nina Hagen’s African Reggae. But considering the crowd, I stuck with what I knew would work.

They were switching the decks to ones less high-end ones which I could comprehend while I mistakenly played CeCe Penniston’s underrated Nobody Else, a straight-up gospel house number which of course is not as well known as Finally, but is a fantastic song. Finally got the equipment working and kicked in with Kirk Franklin’s irresistible Looking For You, which samples Patrice Rushen’s genius Haven’t You Heard. I played the Moto Blanco remix of Jennifer Hudson’s Spotlight and their remix of Mary J’s Be Without you but mostly stuck with older disco-funk classics like Positive Force’s We Got The Funk, Jocelyn Brown’s seismic Somebody Else’s Guy and Maze featuring Frankie Beverly’s Before I Let Go.

V MAGAZINE'S STEPHEN GAN



Stephen ran up to me at one point and said “Bun-Bun! Don’t you think this is one of our best parties ever?” I had to agree. Some Visionaire parties are more see-and-be-seen promotional affairs for a new issue. But this was a partay!



THEY FELT A LITTLE INADEQUATE WHEN THEY SAW THIS ENORMOUS BLACK POLE. NO NEED TO WORRY--IT WAS IMAN'S CFDC AWARD.







I ran over to see two sexy rascals strip down and present Iman with her massive award. I don’t think she heard me shriek “You can’t handle them! You’re used to white men!”



When former model/agent/editor Bethan Hardison introduced the night’s honoree in front of the dj booth, I and grabbed the mic to say whine “Iman stole my look!” which was so absurd that the crowd erupted with laughter. Charming and brief, Iman wanted to thank everyone for coming and tell us that her people in Africa celebrated by dancing. I tried to grab the mic to share something from my redneck people’s culture. Like “Go back to Africa!”, which struck me as particularly appropriate since she’s from Somalia. But let’s just say that they were satisfied with my first idiotic punch line and wouldn’t give me the mic. But I loved rocking out with Bethann on the dancefloor—she stayed until the bitter end and we went way back to Rufus and Chaka Khan's Swing Down Chariot. And Iman seemed to be having a blast. What a night!



Sometimes I need a little refresher course on why I still love NYC in spite of it's many changes for the worse. This event could only have happened here. Outside of major cities, Snookie from the Jersey Shore is probably a more recognizable fashion icon that a retired model whose heyday was 30 years ago. And how delightfully different to spin at a party where no Lady Gaga songs were requested, played or missed!