April 30, 2009

TWO CUTE NEW TUNES

BOOM by ANJULIE

This is the downtempo version. Really irresistible hook.



I really like the Bimbo Jones remix but there is only an audio video.



AND MISS TEENA MARIE HAS A NEW TRACK, CALLED CAN'T LAST A DAY FEAT. FAITH EVANS. Honey, the opening piano trill is spell-binding. A friend who was over and has much more progressive electro-ish taste heard the opening notes and said "PLEASE BURN THIS FOR ME!". We all know that Teena is the first lady of white soul through her collaborations with 80's funkmeister Rick James.

Here's Lady Tee and Rick (a few days before his death) blowing the roof off of the 2004 BET Awards with a heart-felt version of FIRE AND DESIRE. Pandemonium ensured and it wasn't only for Rick. Watch these two powerhouses in action!



THERE'S NO VIDEO OF THE HER NEW TRACK BUT HERE IS AN AUDIO VIDEO W/ A SLIDESHOW:

JUDY SHEPARD'S POWERFUL WORDS ON HOMO HATE CRIMES

We just passed the Hate Crimes Bill in the House, but there is still the Senate to urge into action. Watch this touching video plea from a woman whose son was bludgeoned to death and if you feel moved, or just want to penalize someone who wants to kick your ass because of who and what you are, I urge you to contact your representative. The info is below.



The scare tactics continue. Anti-LGBT groups sent lawmakers a note linking to a poster of Jesus that says "WANTED For Violation of the Proposed Hate Crimes Law In His Teachings."

THE LATE MATTHEW SHEPARD



Our only defense is the truth: in the ten years since Matthew Shepard's death, tens of thousands more people have been violently attacked for being who they are. It took ten years of lobbying and educating to get to this point – our long wait for hate crimes protections must end now.

Ten friends of yours can help. Send the video to ten friends now!

Here's a sample message you can use:

Hi,

I just watched a really powerful online video that I think you should see. Judy Shepard talks about losing her son Matthew to anti-gay hate violence and her ten-year fight for a federal hate crimes law that would honor his memory.
The House just passed the bill and we need the Senate to act soon. The right wing is spreading absurd lies, claiming it would send pastors to jail for giving anti-gay sermons. We need to fight back with the truth, and we don't have much time.

Please watch the video, write your senators, and then forward this email to ten of your friends.

HRCACTIONCENTER

Thank you so much for your commitment. I hope you'll keep up your amazing work, and help us urge the Senate to take quick action and get the bill to the president's desk.

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN WATCHING AND FORWARDING THE VIDEO, CONTACT YOUR SENATORS WHO WILL VOTE ON THIS SHORTLY. NOTHING LET'S THEM KNOW HOW PASSIONATE YOU ARE ABOUT THIS HATE CRIMES BILL UNLESS YOU CONTACT THEM WITH YOUR DEMANDS. REMEMBER--WE ARE THEIR BOSSES AND WE HIRE AND FIRE THEM VIA ELECTIONS. THAT'S WHAT DEMOCRACY IS. I just heard on the news that "Banks own the senate." Well, they don't own my fucking vote!

We just passed the Hate Crimes Bill in the House, but there is still the Senate to urge into action. Watch this touching video plea from a woman whose son was bludgeoned to death and if you feel moved, or just want to penalize someone who wants to kick your ass because of who and what you are, I urge you to contact your representative. The info is below.

The scare tactics continue. Anti-LGBT groups sent lawmakers a note linking to a poster of Jesus that says "WANTED For Violation of the Proposed Hate Crimes Law In His Teachings."

Our only defense is the truth: in the ten years since Matthew Shepard's death, tens of thousands more people have been violently attacked for being who they are. It took ten years of lobbying and educating to get to this point – our long wait for hate crimes protections must end now.

Ten friends of yours can help. Send the video to ten friends now!

Here's a sample message you can use:

Hi,

I just watched a really powerful online video that I think you should see. Judy Shepard talks about losing her son Matthew to anti-gay hate violence and her ten-year fight for a federal hate crimes law that would honor his memory.
The House just passed the bill and we need the Senate to act soon. The right wing is spreading absurd lies, claiming it would send pastors to jail for giving anti-gay sermons. We need to fight back with the truth, and we don't have much time.

Please watch the video, write your senators, and then forward this email to ten of your friends.

HRCACTIONCENTER

Thank you so much for your commitment. I hope you'll keep up your amazing work, and help us urge the Senate to take quick action and get the bill to the president's desk.

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN WATCHING AND FORWARDING THE VIDEO, CONTACT YOUR SENATORS WHO WILL VOTE ON THIS SHORTLY. NOTHING LET'S THEM KNOW HOW PASSIONATE YOU ARE ABOUT THIS HATE CRIMES BILL UNLESS YOU CONTACT THEM WITH YOUR DEMANDS. REMEMBER--WE ARE THEIR BOSSES AND WE HIRE AND FIRE THEM VIA ELECTIONS. THAT'S WHAT DEMOCRACY IS. I just heard on the news that "Banks own the senate." Well, they don't own my fucking vote!

DON'T SLEEP ON THIS--WHETHER YOU ARE GAY OR A STRAIGHT PERSON WHO DOESN'T LIKE TO SEE HATE CRIMES GO UNPUNISHED. THE VOTE GOES BEFORE THE SENATE WITHIN A FEW DAYS!

KENNY SHARF'S BOOK RELEASE PARTY AT PORTS 1961

LET AN OBNOXIOUS WHORE RUIN YOUR EVENT!



(THIS PIC BY AMBER FOR PATRICK MCMULLAN)

Bun-Bun stepped out last week (it was within walking distance from my dump) with Billy Beyond to celebrate the release of Kenny Sharf's new book. Kenny and Keith Haring ruled the NYC art scene when I arrive in NYC in the mid-eighties--uless you count Jean-Michel Basquiat, which I don't--and even though Keith was a total sweetheart and his work became more mainstream, I personally preferred Kenny's more detailed, ornate, outer-space cartoon characters. But I'm no art critic, that's for sure. I also dj'ed at The Tunnel in the room designed by Kenny and the black lights and fun fur walls provided a perfect back-drop for me to lure studs into the booth where I would literally blow them by putting on long songs while I gobbled their long shlongs. Call me the dj with a bj--she REALLY sucks!

AND SPEAKING OF GOBBLING...DOUGH-NUTS HAVE BEEN A RECURRING THEME IN KENNY'S RECENT WORK.



But I've always connected Kenny with upbeat fun and one of my fav memories were hanging at his lovely home with his lovely Brazilian wife and mischievous daughters, one of whom had broken front teeth giving her an especially impish grin. I am good with kids and pets, but tend to work them up into a lather and then leave them to their parents/owners.

KENNY IN HIS INSTALLATION IN THE 2007 ART PARADE



THE ALLURING MALIA SHARF, FORMERLY KNOWN AS SNAGGLETOOTH, POSING WITH HER DISTANT AUNT BUNION (pic by Billy Erb)



Boy was I shocked to be reintroduced to his brood, who are now well-turned out young ladies with boobs! Of clubbing age! And still delightful. Billy had to leave early so I hung around for a minute, but in a small, brightly-lit retail environment, this moose on the loose can be a trifle overpowering, so I made a brief appearance, sadly missing Joey Hairy-Ass who showed up late. My camera broke, but Billy did capture a few pics, including this bizarre profile shot. You don't attend a Kenny Sharf retrospective without a bubble helmet shaped wig--it simply isn't done! (And yes that is a Christmas ornament I'm recycling as an earring.)



I was bellowing loudly "I certainly don't want a free book!" and "I wouldn't even consider having it autographed so please don't offer"--on and on and on until Kenny said "Come by the studio and I'll give yoo one. I turned on my heel and said I didn't want one. Just a pig in a wig--my trademark.

And Billy snapped these detail pics of my pitiful man-icure hopefully camouflaged somewhat by my oversized ring and clock my purse!



More pics and text on the event:

MORE: GUESTOFAGUEST

JAMIE LEE CURTIS: MASKS FOR SALE

I have never enjoyed her films, but I do enjoy her occasional musings on Huffpo.

MASKS FOR SALE BY JAMIE LEE CURTIS:



As I travel to Ohio on my first airplane trip during this flu crisis, I am immediately taken with the advertising possibilities. As a brilliant self-promoter, after all, I am the walking advertisement for good digestive health as the Activia Lady. I realize there is a mountain of money to be made on selling your mask space to the highest bidder. It's a white rectangle, so boring that I wonder, "How long before Pepsi, Nike, and Pepsi have their logos blazoned across germ masks around the world?" I wouldn't be surprised if even Chanel makes its own, with the interlocking reversed C's -- at a premium, of course. Then, there would be the knockoff ones that would get sold on the streets of New York -- and then the people arrested for selling the fakes. Revenue everywhere.

HUFFPO

GAY MARRIAGE IN NY STATE



Marriage equality legislation moving in Albany!

Just two days after 2,000 LGBT New Yorkers and our allies went to Albany to show the power of our community, our voices have been heard: the marriage equality bill has moved through committee and has been put on the Assembly calendar as a live bill, meaning that marriage could be brought to the floor for a vote at any time starting next week.

We need YOU to call your Assemblymember and ask them to vote for the marriage equality bill (A.7732/O'Donnell). Tell them you support marriage for same-sex couples and want them to do the same.

Assembly switchboard: 518-455-4100

Ask to be connected to your Assemblymember

(Click HERE to find out who he or she is)

The time is NOW to take action—make your call TODAY!


GAY MARRIAGE IN IOWA: NOT WORTH THE MOVE (FROM THE ONION)

For Gay Couple, Fulfilling Lifelong Dream Of Marriage Not Worth Moving To Iowa

NEW YORK—Having their sworn commitment to each other and all related rights therein recognized by the highest court of a sovereign U.S. state is ultimately not worth the hassle of moving to Iowa, longtime partners Danny Mindlin and Alex Small determined Monday. "Alex and I want to grow old together, but we'd have to drive six hours just to get a mezzaluna at Restoration Hardware," said Mindlin, who claimed he "couldn't survive" without a strawberry frosted cupcake from Amy's Bread after yoga every Thursday. "And where would we summer? Dubuque? I think we'll just buy a townhouse and live in an unrecognized union with beautiful granite countertops instead." The couple told reporters that their plans to adopt also weighed heavily in the decision, since they want to raise a child who is healthy, balanced, and "not tacky."

1 GUY 1 SCREWDRIVER

HERE'S THE SEQUEL TO THE TALENTED FELLOW WHO BROKE THAT MASON JAR INSIDE HIS ASSHOLE. JUST IMAGINE WHAT THE TALENTED FELLOW CAN DO WITH A SCREWDRIVER! I HAD TO STOP WATCHING WHEN THE BLOOD STARTED GUSHING. BEWARE: EXTREMELY VILE!

EFUKT.COM

Also on efukt.com, the world's largest tranny cock: EFUKT.COM

MORE SWINE FLU DEVELOPMENTS





FOR THE EXTREMELY BORED: HERE IS A SWINE FLU INTERNET GAME!

SWINEFIGHTER

GRACE JONES' "19TH" BIRTHDAY

THE WHOLE SHOT IS A CLOSE-UP AND SHE LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME! WITH ALL THAT PARTYING? I GUESS BLACK DON'T CRACK EVEN WHEN IT'S ON CRACK! AS ALWAYS< SHE'S FASCINATING...

SWINE FLU GET WELL CARD

SISTER MYOTIS ON THE SUBJECT OF THONGS

RICHARD SIMMON TORMENTS A REDNECK ON HOWARD STERN

SUSAN BOYLE "SINGS" DIVINE

I couldn't figure out how to embed this but here's the link: FUNNYORDIE

ELAINE LANCASTER: POOLSIDE SHOOT

My drag sister and Miami socialite drag ELaine Lancaster has just completed a poolside photo shoot and she looks dynamite! Here's my favorite snap.



Elaine was in the news today because she decided, in her whimsical (ie: retarded) way, to side with Carrie Prejean against Perez Hilton. SHe doesn't make a lot of sense in the video, but I've not come to expect much from my dear, daffy friend. There is a video blog in which she explains her position on the issue.

FROM MIAMI NEW TIMES:

Elaine Lancaster to Perez Hilton: "Leave Miss California Alone!" By Kyle Munzenrieder in The Z List

Queen fight! Attention, everyone, Queen fight! No, seriously: It's South Beach's reigning queen versus the self-proclaimed "Queen of All Media" fighting over a beauty queen.




Miami's premier drag queen and local paragon of sophistication and elegance, Elaine Lancaster, took to Steve Rothaus's Herald Blog today to give Perez Hilton a videotaped lesson in manners.

Miss Lancaster was beside herself when Hilton, on his blog, called her fellow beauty queen, Miss California Carrie Prejean, a B-word and a C-word. "Now, what kind of person does that? Not anyone I know, or would care to know!"

MORE, WITH HER VIDEO BLOG: MIAMINEWTIMES

WHERE I'LL BE SATURDAY NIGHT!

KERRI CHANDLER: BLINDING US WITH SCIENCE



PRESS RELEASE:

Thought a laser performance (striking invisible notes in the air to “Bar A Thym”) while simultaneously programming live keys was leading edge? How about mixing flawlessly on 3 adjacent old school reel-to-reels? Those are by most standards quite impressive but just wait ‘til you SEE what the man himself, DJ/Producer Kerri Chandler has in store, forever changing the face of the DJ set. Using the very latest digital technology, Kerri will be incorporating actual 3D virtual projections of singers performing the exact tune that he’s simultaneously playing. That’s right. Holographic Performances of legendary singers Barbara Tucker, Monique Bingham, Kenny Bobien, D-Train, Arnold Jarvis, Michelle Weeks, Dawn Tallman and so many others will appear as Dance Musical apparitions singing along to the very track he’s playing in real time. As the brainchild of one of the world’s most innovative DJs, Kerri’s motive is to pay a veritable homage to the (otherwise forgotten) vocalist in a club world of one mindless track after another. He reverts to the singer’s importance, frustrated by the current state of Dance affairs and rightfully states, “I am very upset that the newer generation of clubbers coming to the parties don't have any idea, don't know or even care about the "real" songs that so many [singers] put [their] heart and soul into.”

Mr. Chandler will be launching this never-before-seen musical science at Santo’s Party House in NYC on May 2, 2009 and making the international debut the second week of May 8-10, 2009 at Southport Weekender Music Festival in the UK. Until now the stuff of TV Science Fiction and achieved on the diplomatic front with Prince Charles virtually speaking at Abu Dhabi’s World Summit, this innovation is about to beam into the club, and we intend to be front row & center. For more info on Kerri Chandler pls visit SIMPLYCOOLMUSIC.COM.

SHAKESPEARE MEETS OZ

I usually prefer to see Shakespeare done in the time period in which it was written in, but this all make cast set in a prison sounds interesting to check out--if Shakespeare is your cup of AZT. Even though it is sponsored by Bloomberg. I haven't been keeping an eye on local politics, but apparently he's a nightmare who has already signed his own law enabling him to serve a 3rd term and he's so rich that he can buy the truth. Apparently, he got this through by buying off the would-be front-runner guaranteeing them enough campaign contributions to win after he (if he) decides to chuck the notion of a 4th term.

FROM BAM:

I write to spread the word about an exciting Shakespeare production coming soon to the BAM Harvey Theater. From May 6—17, the fiercely physical, all-male Shakespeare troupe Propeller returns to BAM with a staging of The Bard’s still-incendiary work The Merchant of Venice—and we want you to be there.

Why? Because director Edward Hall sets the play in a prison, of all places. Or because The Guardian (UK) called the production “spot on in every way.” Or maybe just because Propeller’s take on Shakespeare is as fiery, audacious, and textually committed as any troupe we’ve ever seen. If you were lucky enough to catch them in Twelfth Night or Taming of the Shrew (BAM 2007 Spring Season), then you need no convincing. Otherwise, reserve your seats today for what promises to be an absolutely unforgettable show.

I'M SO PROUD OF MY COUNTRY!

FROM YOUTUBE:

April/2009 - Kyle Maynard's MMA debut didn't end in a win for him, but he's set a new precedent for people with disabilities everywhere.



AND THE COMMENTS! HERE'S A FEW:

robbiedaug (21 minutes ago) 0 Reply
What can the guy do? He has no punch or kick. What was the idea here? He has no grappling skills. His stubby little stumps must feel like a kid hitting you. How is he supposed to make a knock out when he can't reach above the knees. Sad video. The able bodied guy would feel like a loser if he laced into the disabled guy and beat him. What sort of honor would he earn by beating this little guy?

garyufcdevlin (43 minutes ago) 0 Reply
this is hilarious,whats his finishing move???? sucking the other guys dick when he gets close?? stupid little fucking dog should be kept in his kennell,the only reason people are born like this is for our entertainment. i mean whats more funny than a guy with gimped out limbs?.................NOTHING !!!!
Trajedya84 (1 hour ago) 0 Reply

OMG ITS SPIDER MAN!!!!111 LOL
anomicbomb (1 hour ago) 0 Reply
This is just a pathetic embarassment. I don't find it insperational at all. The only thing this guy proved is that he is not only physically disabled, he is severely delusional and possibbly mentally retarded., This guy inspires me as much as a bug flying into a bug zapper. He should stick to playing fetch.

CLUCK OFF, POPEYE'S!

ROCHESTER, NY'S FRIED CHICKEN CHAIN RAN OUT OF CHICKEN RECENTLY! HERE'S AN ACTUAL NEWS REPORT:



PANDORA BOX, a resident of Rochester sent me this and I emailed her back to ask "Why can't these people cook?". She responded: "The funniest thing where that Popeye's is on Lake Avenue here, there is a Tops Supermarket literally about ten feet away. That's why it's even MORE ridiculous!".

April 29, 2009

OBAMA'S MEXICAN TWIN





THE COOLEST CAT EVER!



WATCH THEM IN ACTION: KARL AND MITTEN

FLIP WILSON AS GERALDINE!

In the 70's, the whole nation was reciting Geraldine's catchphrase, "The devil made me buy this dress" and when the sassy Geraldine appeared on The Flip WIlson Show every week, the whole country was in a panic! And I love that these clips show miss thing with two sports stars. And her cellphone with kill you! I also worship that little dance she punctuates each punch line with. Too much!



With Joe Namath! What is his accent? It's like John Travolta in Welcome Back, Kotter. And catch the music on Geraldine's heavenly entrance!

THE BIRTH OF SWINE FLU

April 28, 2009

THE DELIGHTFULLY BIZARRE CREATIONS OF ALDO LANZANI



Aldo is a milanese knitwear wunderkind who makes these insane masks--excuse me, I meant crocheted revolutionary balaclavas! That touch of experimental high fashion with a heavy dose of Sigmund THe Sea Monster really drives me wild. I was just thinking the other day, "It's hard to find veils thick enough!".

You can also check out some still photographs on his myspace page, where I also realized that he's a distant member of the House of Aviance!

VIDEO OF HIS RECENT GALLERY SHOW



FOR YOU POOR DEARS WHO MAY NOT HAVE BEEN TAINTED BY THE SATURDAY MORNING SID AND MARTY KROFFT PRODUCTION FEATURING RIP TAYLOR (!!!!), HERE'S THE INTRO:

FINALLY!

I love playing disco at Splash on Sundays, but I also relish the chance to play some newer tunes and I finally have a new gig on Friday nights at Brandon Voss and Tony Fornabio's new shindig Rockit at the gorgeous Hell's Kitchen venue Amalia. Come by!



And although a flight delay caused me to miss Splash's Free Tea this past Sunday, I'll be there for the next several weeks. The weather is GORGEOUS, so come see me!

DIALEAH!

A REALLY FUN SALUTE TO BEA ARTHUR

WITH HISTORY, VIDEO CLIPS AND PICS FROM JEZEBEL.COM. SHE GOT HER BIG BREAK AT 50--THERE'S STILL HOPE FOR ME!

HERE'S AN EXCERPT:

3.) Breaking the Mold
Having reached the crest of her career in middle age, and being 5'9, with a baritone voice, Arthur was not exactly the ingenue. With her trademark, cutting one-liners, Arthur was way too salty for the sugar-and-spice female stereotype. Instead of fighting the aging process cosmetically, she used it to get a laugh and earn a buck, as seen in this Golden Girls clip.

READ THE REST: JEZEBEL.COM

April 27, 2009

TALK ABOUT STAYING IN CHARACTER!

FROM YOUTUBE:

During "The Miracle Worker" play, a young actress portraying the blind and deaf Helen Keller misjudges the distance toward the front of the stage and falls off. Without much disturbance the play went on as usual.

WATCH: YOUTUBE

R. I. P. BEA ARTHUR

SEVEN DECADES OF BRILLIANCE!











April 25, 2009

MIAMI GAY PRIDE PICS

ADORA SENT ME THIS LINK TO MIAMI GAY PRIDE PICS. PATTI LABELLE WAS THEIR GRAND MARSHALL, BUT IS NOT PICTURED HERE--UNLESS I AM CONFUSING MIAMI AND MIAMI BEACH GAY PRIDE. PLENTY OF HUNKS AT BOTH, I'M SURE!

MORE GODDESS BUNNY

FROM YOUTUBE:

The Goddess Bunny, a deformed transvestite, lipsynchs to a few songs (among them "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" and "Judy's Turn To Cry"), is interviewed, and does a demented tap dance with an umbrella. Also featuring a dance from Goddess Bunny's deformed black midget friend.



I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO WATCH THEM ALL, BUT APPARENTLY THIS IS A FULL-LENGTH DOCUMENTARY ON THE GODDESS!

YOUTUBE

YOUTUBE

YOUTUBE

YOUTUBE

YOUTUBE

April 24, 2009

BEYONCE'S REAL VOICE?

This is supposedly a live feed from a TODAY SHOW performance of IF I WERE A BOY. Please watch until 2:50--the notes are shocking. But the bizarre thing is, after that, she sings one nice riff. But this definitely sounds like her voice to me, so I'm not so sure it's fake. What gags me is her confidence to go for notes which she clearly can't hit knowing that the audience will never hear them. Why even have the mic on if you sound that rotten? Even some of the lower stuff sounds completely tone-deaf.

NAKED GUY TASERED AT COACHELLA

I thought it was silly string! And what's wrong with a little nudity? (And, sorry Naked Wizard, I do mean little.)


Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

An onlooker analyzes what really went down on URB.COM

JONES' GOOD ASS BBQ AND FOOT MASSAGE

MOMMY, SHE'S BAAAACK!

FINALLY, THE BRILLIANT "GODDESS OF RADIO" RANDI RHODES MAKES A COMEBACK AFTER LEAVING AIR AMERICA AND NOVA M RADIO. NOBODY BREAKS IT DOWN LIKE RANDI.




MORE: HUFFPO

April 22, 2009

MICHAEL MUSTO TAKES ON MICHAEL LUCAS

The Naked Truth About Porn Prince Michael Lucas

Wear a condom while reading this: My sit-down with the Russian-born gay-porn czar

By Michael Musto



A mass of contradictions, Michael Lucas is the Russian-born gay-porn mogul/star who releases movies like Farts!, Feet!, and South Beach Seductions, but calls his grandmother four times a day and regularly goes to the opera.

A tireless self-promoter, albeit with real personality and pathos, Lucas is an easy target in the gay world, but he doesn't mind the criticisms anymore. In fact, he dutifully recited the most common ones to me over dinner: "He's a Zoolander, he's the ugliest man on earth, he's Joan Crawford mixed with something else, he's the victim of surgery, he's 100 years old . . ." Whatever. Lucas is just glad to be talked about—and to talk.

The man's plump lips love to flap away in between sex engagements. He regularly mouths off about subjects like Palestine ("They're promising to destroy lives, so why would Israel allow them to have this neighboring state?") and African-Americans ("They're racist, anti-Semitic, and homophobic," he asserted to me, but generously added that he doesn't mean all of them).

AN INTERVIEW SNIPPET:

MM: What's not sexy to you about a guy? ML: When I was a hustler, I slept with four or five people a day. It always stayed up. The best thing is, don't talk to the person. After you talk, sometimes it goes down. MM: Did you ever bottom? ML: Only top. Otherwise, my asshole would look like ground beef right now—like it was eaten by a zombie. MM: And it wasn't? But wait, you missed out on all that income. ML: No one wants me to bottom. When they see my dick, they want to suck it. MM: I feel that way about doughnuts.

READ THE REST: VILLAGEVOICE.COM

MANDATORY FOR ALL BRATS ON ALL FLIGHTS!

PediSedate is a medical device consisting of a colorful, toy-like headset that connects to a game component such as the Nintendo Game Boy system or a portable CD player. Once the child places it on his or her head and swings the snorkel down from its resting place atop the head, PediSedate transparently monitors respiratory function and distributes nitrous oxide, an anesthetic gas. The child comfortably becomes sedated while playing with a Nintendo Game Boy system or listening to music. This dramatically improves the hospital or dental experience for the child, parents and healthcare providers.




MORE: PEDISEDATE

EVALUATE OBAMA

MSNBC has a poll up about the President's job so far for the first 100 days. Republicans are flooding it with "F" votes.

(SO FAR 60% OF THOSE VOTING RATE HIM 'POOR' OR ONLY 'FAIR')

Pass this address on and go to it to vote:

MSNBC

PAUL LYNDE DOES THE WEATHER

April 21, 2009

GOD WILL FUCK YOU UP!

THE GAY MARRIAGE PLOT THICKENS...

FANCY SOME DEFORMED GENITALS?

NO, I'M NOT ASKING YOU FOR A DATE. I'M LETTING YOU KNOW ABOUT A DOCUMENTARY ON POLLUTION WHICH AIRS NATIONWIDE ON PBS TONIGHT. IN NYC, PBS IS ON CHANNEL 13.

I was listening to a radio show on which an environmentalist was claiming that while the Earth Days in the 1970's had huge turn-outs, pollution no longer shocked people. I suppose people are more inclined to focus on global warming these. But the expert interviewed today claimed that extensive studies on fish and frogs were uncovering extensive deformities, some due to copper from tires which finds it's way into our water stream. And that the deformities would begin slowly developing in humans as well. Maybe those campy sci-fi horror films with atomic mutants weren't so far off base. I didn't take notes on the radio program and I'm not really a science buff, but this documentary does sound fascinating--and disturbing. And I did just watch a CNN segment about the death of the crabbing industry so I don't think the claims of extensive pollution problems are being made only by lefty alarmists.

FROM WNET:

More than three decades after the Clean Water Act , two iconic waterways -- the great coastal estuaries of Puget Sound and the Chesapeake Bay -- are in perilous condition. With polluted runoff still flowing in from industry, agriculture and massive suburban development, scientists fear contamination to the food chain and drinking water for millions of people. A growing list of endangered species is also threatened in both estuaries.

Additional Airdates of Frontline

Wed Apr 22nd at 8am on WLIW World
Wed Apr 22nd at 2pm on WLIW World
Wed Apr 22nd at 7pm on WLIW World

MORE INFO: THIRTEEN.ORG

YEEHAW! TUCSON, HERE I COME!

(CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE.)



I'M MAKING MY TUCSON DEBUT THIS SATURDAY AT GAY WEST--FOR MORE INFO/TIX CLICK HERE. WITH ROPE-A-STEER AND A SALOON-STYLE CAN-CAN SHOW. AND CHECK OUT LUCINDA HOLLIDAY, MY WACKY CO-STAR!

NEW YORK GAYS WHO WANT TO MARRY SPEAK UP!



PRIDE AGENDA ACTION CENTER
FROM EMPIRE STATE PRIDE AGENDA:

Ask Your Legislators to Support Gov. Paterson's Marriage Bill

Governor David Paterson has continued his long history of fighting for our community’s rights by introducing a marriage equality program bill in the New York State Legislature.

Now, we need the support of the New York State Assembly and Senate to pass the marriage equality bill so that Gov. Paterson can sign it into law. The Assembly passed the marriage bill 85-61 in 2007, and now we need your Assemblymember’s support to pass this bill again this year. And for the first time ever this year, the pro-LGBT Majority Leadership in the State Senate has pledged to bring marriage to the floor for a vote when we have the support needed for the bill to pass. We need your Senator's support to pass marriage equality in New York State!

The time is now to ask your legislators to support and vote for Gov. Paterson’s marriage bill. Your legislators need to hear from you!

In just a few clicks of your mouse, send the message below to your Assemblymember and Senator to let them know that their support for marriage equality is crucial to you. Feel free to customize your message in the workspace provided.

CLICK AWAY HERE: SUPPORT MARRIAGE EQUALITY

MADONNA FELL OF ANOTHER HORSE?

Horse cock, maybe. TMZ is reporting that the police who took the report didn't mentioned paparazzi, although Madge's camp is claiming that a shutterbug jumped out of a bush and frightened the horse and it threw her.



Madonna is either a really poor equestrian or a liar--or both. Remember the last time she fell off of a horse and broke her collar bone? And then went on a dance-heavy world tour a couple months later? Sorry, but old bones don't heal that fast--I know this from personal experience. She probably had some work done--what's the big deal? Why cook up a silly lie? I see she's still working those oversized sunglasses to cover her brand new not too well-received new cheek implants. Maybe those will be shrinking while recovering from her "riding accident". And check out the pic below--I think we now know where A-Rod was getting those steroids! But whatever she's doing, I have to admit she looks sexy at 50!



AND BEFORE YOU MADGE DIEHARD FANS SQUAWK THAT I'M BEING MEAN, THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE TMZ COMMENTS. HERE ARE A FEW:

8. i know what really happened. she was playing "Catherine the Great" and the horse fell on HER

9. Quick, go adopt an african baby and diffuse the bold face lie.

11. Well, well, well, now lets examine this shall we? Had she been hurt in any way other than bruises or scratches, I have to wonder IF the bitch would have stuck to her lie and pursued a law suit against the alleged photographer. Spin control huh? Spin control my ass, call a spade a spade bitch, YOU LIED, and the ONLY thing that saved your lying ass is the fact that you did not identify by name the photographer because than the photographer could have turned around and sued your lying ass for defamation of character, slander and the like, RIGHT LIAR?

12. that horse got one sniff of the tunafish casserole between those legs and tossed that whore

13. Here's what really happened: .....Madonna's caustic acidic snatch juices ate thru her clothing and the leather saddle and then burned the horse's back, causing it to rear up in pain and throw off the offending evil parasite from its back.

April 20, 2009

CLEMENT FREUD'S FUNNIEST JOKE?

FROM LONDON DRAGSTER STELLA STEIN--IT'S A GOOD ONE!



LISTEN: BOINGBOING

FREUDIAN SLIP FROM A STEROIDED-OUT GAY PREACHER?

SYLVESTER: MIGHTY REAL

I just worship this sanctified sissy! He doesn't seem terribly happy in this video, but I guess he feels real, so that's ok. He actually looks a little bit like NYC drag queen Peppermint, although she's prettier and might not like this comparison. And I love his costume changes and the disco fan! Not to mention dancing with balloons.



Here. it sings live and sounds great.



In this video for his follow-up hit, Miss Thing just prances--and she must have been eating good off her royalties from Mighty Real cuz she has gained wait and is sporting a sick jacket with his name on the back. The camera barely focuses on Sylvester and I guess they didn't have the budget to bring the Two Tons of Fun onto this show, but at least they did spring for have those sick disco rag dancers! This is true disco madness.



AND THER ARE A FEW NEW UPCOMING DISCO NIGHTS IN NYC:

DOUBLE HEADED DISCO SATURDAY, APRIL 25TH 10 PM

No cover. No shade

NOWHERE 322 E 14 Street Every last Saturday.



SUNDAY: I'M BACK AT SPLASH'S FREE TEA ON THE NEXT 3 SUNDAYS FROM 7-11 NO COVER!

ON June 11th, AMFAR will be honoring me along with Patricia Field and Cleve Jones (founder of the AIDS Quilt and contemporary of Harvey Milk). GAG! This Sunday will be the kick-off party and there will be raffles for tickets, sexy dancers, free booze and condoms which I hope to use several of--they make the best turnicates!



The same night:

KENNY SHARF! AND YOU KNOW I LOVE KENNY OR I WOULDN'T BE PLUGGING HIS NIGHT ON THE NIGHT OF MY OWN! BUT MINE'S EARLY SO HIT BOTH! I AM!



SUSANNE BARTSCH, KENNY KENNY & KENNY SCHARF invite you to celebrate the BOOK LAUNCH OF KENNY SCHARF

AT VANDAM SUNDAYS

SUNDAY APRIL 26. 2009 10:00 PM - until COMP COCKTAILS 10 - 11:00 VANDAM VODKA SPECIAL ALL NIGHT (VODKA W. MIXER OF YOUR CHOICE )

DJ: JOHNNY DYNELL & SAMMY JO SHOW: PEPPERMINT

EVERGREENS: DIRTY MARTINI, AJOSHUA & CHUCK ATTIX

DOWNSTAIRS: DESI MONSTER & LADYFAG
DJ: WILL

EARLY DJ SET: ANDY REYNOLDS (of East Village Radio's Penetration Show)

150 VARICK ST @ VANDAM at greenhouse

And on Mondays, THE WEB, a popular midtown gaysian bar, starts it's Disco Mondays with DJ Billy to go along with their other insane theme nights like the one pictured below. Work the boots!



If you visit their site, there are so many kooky photo galleries. The pic below is not DJ Billy or even anyone from the new disco night, it's from a Heaven and Hell theme night. I'm not sure what this outfit has to do with either but I love it!



Almost as much as I love this!

PEDOPHILIA-BASED ADVERTISING?

PUT SOME LANCE IN YOUR PANTS?



Does this ad for Lance brand snacks seem a little odd to anyone else? I mean, not only is lance a synonym for rod/penis, but the crackers appear to be shoved up the kid's butt even though they are actually in his back pocket, but at a weird angle. And I am so far removed from youthful enthusiasm that I am mistaking his facial expression for one of the terror/pain of taking a big one without lube? Who carries snacks hanging out of their back pockets anyway? Seems very odd to me but I guess on some level the ad is a success cuz I'm blabbing about it now. My mom always kept those vile Lance peanut butter or "cheese" crackers in her purse at all points. Until I was forced to murder her.

And while we're on the subject of pedophilia and advertising, Air America host Ron Cooby made an interesting point today. American Apparel took a screen shot from a Woody Allen film and used in in an ad campaign. Woody's lawyer sent them a cease and desist and they did, about a year ago. Now Woody is suing American Apparel for defamation of character, claiming that his good name was damaged by the illegal association with American Apparel. Ron argued Woody, you married your daughter! Any association would be a good one because you couldn't sink any lower.

And just to end on a cheerier note, how about this Underoos commercial?



And one for the ladies!

HAPPY 4/20!

420: Thoughts on Pot vs. Alcohol from a Former Police Chief by Norm Stamper

As 5:00 p.m. rolls around my interior clock starts chiming. I'll have an ice-cold, bone-dry martini, thank you. Jalapeno olives and a twist. If the occasion calls for it (temperatures in the twenties, a hot political debate on the tube) I may substitute two fingers of Kentucky sour mash. Four-twenty? Doesn't resonate. But with April 20 approaching and Waldos of the world gearing up to celebrate their favorite day of the year, it's not a bad time to consider, yet again, the pluses and minuses of alcohol vs. cannabis.

First, a disclaimer: I am a member of Law Enforcement Against Prohibition, but I don't officially represent the organization in this forum. That said, I can't very well check my affiliation, or beliefs, at the keyboard when I sit down to blog for HuffPost. We at LEAP are current and former cops and other criminal justice practitioners who have witnessed firsthand the futility and manifold injustices of the drug war. Our professional experiences have led us to conclude that the more dangerous an illicit substance--from crack to krank--the greater the justification for its legalization, regulation, and control. It is the prohibition of drugs that leads inexorably to high rates of death, disease, crime, and addiction.

Back to booze vs. pot. How do the effects of these two drugs stack up against specific health and public safety factors?

Alcohol-related traffic accidents claim approximately 14,000 lives each year, down significantly from 20 or 30 years ago (attributed to improved education and enforcement). Figures for THC-related traffic fatalities are elusive, especially since alcohol is almost always present in the blood as well, and since the numbers of "marijuana-only" traffic fatalities are so small. But evidence from studies, including laboratory simulations, feeds the stereotype that those under the influence of canniboids tend to (1) be more aware of their impaired psychomotor skills, and (2) drive well below the speed limit. Those under the influence of alcohol are much more likely to be clueless or defiant about their condition, and to speed up and drive recklessly.

Hundreds of alcohol overdose deaths occur annually. There has never been a single recorded marijuana OD fatality.

READ THE REST: HUFFPO

NATIONAL FART SCARE

I LOVE THAT ABOVE AVERAGE PRODUCTION VAKUES AND EDITING ARE USED IN THIS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS FARTFEST. IT'S FROM COLLEGE HUMOR ORIGINALS BUT ISN'T THIS MORE LKE JUNIOR HIGH? WHICH IS PRECISELY WHY I POSTED IT!

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

I know it's stupid, but I got a mild chuckle from it and posting it gave me an excuse not to go to the gym again!


A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in
shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.

_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over he's sprinkle diamonds on the floor.

TWO WOMEN WERE PLAYING GOLF

One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men.

He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel?'


He replied: It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!

OK, SO I'M MOONLIGHTING AT A COSTUME SHOP

Cranston police have arrested an alleged cyberstalker.

Ann Bruno, a local costume shop owner, is accused of using a computer to harass a competitor.

NBC 10s Jim Taricani attempted to question her about it in what turned out to be an unusual interview."


DONNA HIGHTOWER: THE WORLD TODAY IS A MESS

I don't know much about this gal, but this song and performance are insane! Here is a brief bio from MSN Music:

"Little" Donna Hightower had a dynamic, big voice and made some fine shouting records for Decca and RPM in the '50s. Unfortunately, she never landed any hits, but that wasn't due to any lack of skill. She not only had range and power, but was equally compelling doing sentimental, soft ballads. She was backed by the orchestras of Horace Henderson and Maxwell Davis on the Decca and RPM material, respectively. ~ Ron Wynn, All Music Guide

ETHEL MERMAN'S CAMEO IN AIRPLANE

April 19, 2009

THOSE WACKY BRAZILIANS!

Lady Esther Gyn sent me this link to pics of Sao Paolo residents who decided to wear their underwear one day last week. I don't think I can hold back on that visit down under much longer!



MORE PICS: PAPELPOP

LILY ALLEN: THE FEAR

This song and video are winners. Love the balloon people and the lyrics!



But those lyrics are nothing compared to the little ditty she penned for George W. Bush, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. The music, with a feel-good piano riff which reminds me of the WELCOME BACK, KOTTER theme, is the perfect background for her acidic ode to the Bush years. A pop princess with something bold to say? How refreshing!

April 18, 2009

TWO NYC ART HAPPENINGS



Gallery Nucleus brings you Dreams to Reality - featuring a crop of emerging and most-talked-about contemporary young artists of the day.

FASHION ILLUSTRATOR ALVARO SANZ



THE GALLERY OPENING IS THIS TUESDAY EVENING 6:30. THE SOCIETY OF ILLUSTRATORS AT 128 EAST 63RD BETWEEN PARK AND LEX.

ALVARO'S SIGNATURE STYLE

FAUX WIGSTOCK POSTER BY LARISSA BRANDAO

A charming art student chose to design a Wigstock poster as her school project. She nailed it, don'cha think?

FIT FOR A QUEEN!

The Boudoir is a make-over clinic in England who help groom members of the trangendered community. I got quite a tickle from their fancifully-worded email announcing their plans to attend The Royal Ascot en masse. You may choose to join them, and pay for the privelege of looking like this--but with big hats, as proper protocol dictates for such an occasion. I didn't get the part about avoiding the drunken lads, but I guess I ain't no lady! But I would pay a queen's ransom to attend one of Hyancinth Bouquet's candlelight suppers. I worship KEEPING UP APPEARANCES!



The Boudoir's Visit To Royal Ascot 2009

The Boudoir is absolutely thrilled to announce that we are once again organising our very popular trip to Royal Ascot. Last year we very successfully returned after four years absence from the track. Since we had last graced the most prestigious racing event of the year with our presence, a lot had changed at Ascot, primarily the fabulous new grandstand had been built giving Ascot a much more modern feel.

Royal Ascot 2009

It was a wonderful day, and all The Boudoir Royal Ascot Team are really champing at the bit (to use racing parlance) to again provide you with the most fantastic Ascot experience that you could imagine. The date for this extravaganza is Wednesday 17th June 2009, the day before Ladies' Day. We do not go on Ladies' Day as where there are lots of lovely ladies in sexy dresses, you will also unfortunately find lots of drunken lads.

Pre-Race Grooming

As we did last year, we are going to base ourselves from a hotel near to Ascot where we will be performing makeovers, hair and nails on t he morning. Every measure will be taken to make sure20that all of our gurls look stunning for their day at Royal Ascot. We will have booked a number o f rooms at the hotel for Tuesday 16th June 2009 so that you can arrive the evening before, get a good night’s sleep and be fresh and ready for your morning makeover the next day. Please just let us know if you do require a hotel room for the Tuesday evening. You may even want to stay in the hotel on the Wednesday night too as you may well be drinking a fair amount of champagne at Ascot - especially if a few winners come in for you!!

Pre-Season Training

Ascot is renowned for being a place where you must dress to impress!! The right outfit, hat, shoes and accessories are integral. As well as dressing to look the part, it is vital that you have an outfit that you can comfortably spend a whole day in, whilst walking around on grass, walking up and down stairs and generally functioning in with minimal difficulty. We are not supplying outfits or accessories for Ascot, but we can arrange an Escorted Shopping Trip in advance where we will help you to buy the right outfit, hat and all the accessories you will need.

And They're Off!!

A coach will arrive at the hotel to take us all to Ascot Racecourse where The Boudoir's own marquee will be all set up and ready f or our arrival. We will be greeted with a glass of Bucks Fizz by my team that will be waiting on us for the duration of the day. This marquee wil l be our base throughout the day. It will be laden with a delicious buffet, comfortable chairs and mirrors for those important make up pit stops throughout the day!! We will have a sumptuous Ascot-inspired buffet lunch in our marquee in the picnic area before venturing over to the Main Grandstand to watch the Royal Procession. After the Royals have played second fiddle to us gorgeous girls who really do steal the show, we will have a little flutter on the fillies and of course if we win, maybe we’ll venture over to the champagne tent for a splash more bubbly!!

And They're On The Final Straight Now

When we have had enough, or our shoes start to really kill us, we can totter back to the marquee for delicious afternoon tea and strawberries and cream!! We will then relax here, eating and drinking till the sun starts to go down. At around 6pm our coach will return to whisk us out of Ascot and back to our hotel to either get changed back or continue enjoying your evening in the hotel bar or restaurant.

It's A Photo Finish!!

The cost of this whole day experience is £295 - this will include the following: Full makeover, wig styling (in accordance with your hat) an d nails (false or your own) - Transport to and fro m Royal Ascot - Your General Admission Ticket to get you into the Main Grandstand - Unlimited food and drink (alcoholic and soft) throughout the day - A CD Rom of photos of your day at Royal Ascot.

Here's The Deal

If you would like to book a place on this outing please email Jodie Lynn at info@theboudoironline.com or call 020 8211 1666. A 50% deposit will be required to confirm your place on this event and we will need to collect full payment at least two weeks before Wednesday 17th June 2009. This really is a unique and memorable day out that has always been a roaring success. Why not add this trip to your list of your fabulous Boudoir events!!

April 17, 2009

VIKKI CARR: IT MUST BE HIM



Like Ike and Tina's ROLLING ON THE RIVER, this was such a massive, inescapable hit from my childhood that I guess I never noticed how twisted and sever her chunky frosted highlights were--more like stripes, really. And this gal is still touring! Here's a pic from her fansite from 2002 and she looks terrific.



I thought she kind of came out as a mexican after her career died down, but she did record a Spanish-titled album as early as 1970 with many more to come. I could be wrong about this, but I think that the US wasn't ready for an hispanic diva like Charo or J-Lo yet so they homogenized her ethnicity at first. My memory can get clouded by the mexican valium I just popped.

This tidbit's from her WIKIPEDIA entry, which is worth digging around for trivia. Her first album was called COLOR HER GREAT, another DON'T BREAK MY PRETTY BALLOON and one featured liner notes by Ethel Merman!

Carr also achieved the rare feat of singing for five presidents during her career: Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, and Bill Clinton. Ford writes in his autobiography, A Time to Heal, that when Carr appeared at the White House, she asked the president, "What Mexican dish do you like?" His response: "I like you." He goes on to write that the First Lady was not pleased: "Betty overheard the exchange, and needless to say, she wasn't wild about it."

I wasn't old enough to hit the clubs during her height, but the story-song is so dramatic that I'm sure that the drag queens of the day must have lip-synched the hell out of it, complete with a princess phone as a prop. Personally, I love the idea of starting, as Vikki does in the clip below, while seated and standing up for the chorus! Watch for this trick in my upcoming shows!

COLBERT'S HILARIOUS ANSWER TO "THE STORM" AD

The Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorNASA Name Contest


HERE IS THE ORIGINAL AD BEING PARODIED IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:

EAR HAIR

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the vet.

He found that the problem was hair in its ears.

He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some
'Nair' hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady went to the drug store and got some 'Nair' hair remover.

At the register the druggist told her, 'If you' re going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days.'

The lady said, 'I'm not using it under my arms.'

The druggist said. 'If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days.'

The lady said, 'I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer.'

The druggist said, 'Stay off your bicycle for a week.'

VIETNAM OUTLAWS KARAOKE DANCING

FROM THE CLUB CULTURE NEWSLETTER AVAILABLE AT SKRUFFF.COM:

Vietnamese authorities announced plans to ban dancing at karaoke clubs this week in a move to reduce ecstasy use.

“Ecstasy always goes with wine and music so if the state doesn’t ban dancing, karaoke establishments will be misused. So we suggested not dancing at karaoke establishments,” Culture, Sports and Tourism minister Mr. Le Anh Tuyen told official government website VNExpress news.

“The concept of dancing is very large,” he added, “Depending on the situation, inspectors will decide who violates the rules and at what level. If someone dances to soft music and doesn’t drink wine, doesn’t scream, the punishment will be gentle.”

Describing karaoke singing as 'a cultural activity always latent with social evils' Mr. Le Anh Tuyen also suggested ‘if someone wants to dance, go to discotheques’ adding that discos in luxury hotels are to have closing hours extended from midnight to 2am. Expat party promoters Dan Dockery and Giles Cooper were distinctly unimpressed.

“Hopefully these new regulations might bring some changes to the pitiful nightlife scene here, but, er, I bloody doubt it,” said Dan.

“As for hotel bars and clubs, most feature dreadful DJs grinning relentlessly whilst spinning ‘Pump Up the Jam’ for the fourth time and have crap atmospheres. Drinks are usually expensive and the clientele generally consist of more than a few scarlet ladies and their short-term contractors for the night. Nice. Pump it up, pump it up,” he laughed.

“What a fucking joke,” Giles chipped in. “A law prohibiting dancing- good fucking lord. I have a feeling sense will prevail and that won't make the cut in the final law. By all mean ban drugs and ban prostitution, no problem . . but no dancing?!”

MRS. MLLER: LET'S HANG ON

I can't believe this nut had such a big budget for this crazy, swinging video! Are people too dumb to appreciate eccentricity these days? Just a theory...



FROM WIKIPEDIA:

Elva Ruby Connes (October 5, 1907 – July 5, 1997), who recorded under the name Mrs. Elva Miller (and usually simply called "Mrs. Miller"), was an American singer who gained some notoriety in the 1960s for her versions of popular songs like "Moon River", "Monday, Monday", "A Lover's Concerto", and "Downtown" rendered in an untrained, Mermanesque, vibrato-laden voice, often out of tune and off the beat. Her whistling, which was equally wobbly, also featured on a number of her records. According to Irving Wallace, David Wallechinsky, and Amy Wallace in The Book of Lists 2, her voice was often compared to the sound of "roaches scurrying across a trash can lid."

Her rendition of Downtown sounds like a karaoke version as she sings over a professional instrumental section. It includes an instance where she briefly breaks into giggling and several moments where she apparently forgets the lyrics she is singing. Despite this, her "Downtown" single cracked the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart in 1966, peaking at #82. A subsequent Mrs. Miller single, "Let's Hang On!", did not fare as well.



Here is an unusual interpretation of her hit, DOWNTOWN. I came twice.