August 31, 2006

GORE VIDAL INTERVIEW

Gore Vidal
By David Barsamian


Gore Vidal is a gold mine of quips and zingers. And his vast knowledge
of literature and history---particularly American---makes for an
impressive figure. His razor-sharp tongue lacerates the powerful. He
does it with aplomb, saying, "Style is knowing who you are, what you
want to say, and not giving a damn." He has a wry sense of noblesse
oblige: "There is no human problem which could not be solved if people
would simply do as I advise."

Now eighty, he lives in the Hollywood hills in a modest mansion with
immodest artwork. I felt I was entering a museum of Renaissance art. A
stern painting of the Emperor Constantine was looking down upon us as we
sat in his majestic living room. A Buddha statue from Thailand stood
nearby. But all was not somber. He had a Bush doll with a 9/11 bill
sticking out of it on a table behind us.

His aristocratic pedigree is evident not just in his artistic
sophistication but also in his locution. In a war of words, few can
contend with Vidal.

"I'm a lover of the old republic and I deeply resent the empire our
Presidents put in its place," he declares.

Vidal moved gingerly and was using a cane. A recent knee operation left
him less mobile. He says, "The mind is still agile but the knees have
grown weak." We sat in upholstered chairs. On a nearby table I saw the
galleys of his second memoir, Point to Point Navigation. It will be out
this fall. His earlier one, Palimpsest, came out in 1995.

Prolific does not even begin to describe Vidal's literary output. He's
the author of scores of novels, plays, screenplays, essays. In 1993, he
won the National Book Award for his collection of essays, United States.
His recent books (he calls them "pamphlets")---Perpetual War for
Perpetual Peace, Dreaming War, and Imperial America---have sold in huge
numbers. When I asked him what was the point of his work, he said, "I am
chronicling America." The prose, whether polemical or fictional, is elegant.

Distantly related to Jackie Kennedy, he does not romanticize JFK. "He
was one of the most charming men I've ever known," says Vidal. "He was
also one of the very worst Presidents."

He's been a Democratic candidate for the House from New York and for the
Senate from California. Today, he ridicules the Democrats for supineness.

He sees a certain continuity in U.S. foreign policy over the last fifty
years. "The management, then and now, truly believes the United States
is the master of the Earth and anyone who defies us will be napalmed or
blockaded or covertly overthrown," he says. "We are beyond law, which is
not unusual for an empire; unfortunately, we are also beyond common sense."

I talked with him on a hot afternoon in mid-April.

*Q:* In 2002, long before Bush's current travails, you wrote, "Mark my
words, he will leave office the most unpopular President in history."
How did you know that then?

*Gore Vidal:* I know these people. I don't say that as though I know
them personally. I know the types. I was brought up in Washington. When
you are brought up in a zoo, you know what's going on in the monkey
house. You see a couple of monkeys loose and one is President and one is
Vice President, you know it's trouble. Monkeys make trouble.

*Q:* Bush's ratings have been at personal lows. Cheney has had an 18
percent approval rating.

*Vidal:* Well, he deserves it.

*Q:* Yet the wars go on. It's almost as if the people don't matter.

*Vidal:* The people don't matter to this gang. They pay no attention.
They think in totalitarian terms. They've got the troops. They've got
the army. They've got Congress. They've got the judiciary. Why should
they worry? Let the chattering classes chatter. Bush is a thug. I think
there is something really wrong with him.

*Q:* What do you think of the conspiracy theories about September 11?

*Vidal:* I'm willing to believe practically any mischief on the part of
the Bush people. No, I don't think they did it, as some conspiracy
people think. Why? Because it was too intelligently done. This is beyond
the competence of Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld. They couldn't pull off a
caper like 9/11. They are too clumsy.

*Q:* Today the United States is fighting two wars, one in Afghanistan
and one in Iraq, and is now threatening to launch a third one on Iran.
What is it going to take to stop the Bush onslaught?

*Vidal:* Economic collapse. We are too deeply in debt. We can't service
the debt, or so my financial friends tell me, that's paying the interest
on the Treasury bonds, particularly to the foreign countries that have
been financing us. I think the Chinese will say the hell with you and
pull their money out of the United States. That's the end of our wars.

*Q:* You're a veteran of World War II, the so-called good war. Would you
recommend to a young person a career in the armed forces in the United
States?

*Vidal:* No, but I would suggest Canada or New Zealand as a possible
place to go until we are rid of our warmongers. We've never had a
government like this. The United States has done wicked things in the
past to other countries but never on such a scale and never in such an
existentialist way. It's as though we are evil. We strike first. We'll
destroy you. This is an eternal war against terrorism. It's like a war
against dandruff. There's no such thing as a war against terrorism. It's
idiotic. These are slogans. These are lies. It's advertising, which is
the only art form we ever invented and developed.

But our media has collapsed. They've questioned no one. One of the
reasons Bush and Cheney are so daring is that they know there's nobody
to stop them. Nobody is going to write a story that says this is not a
war, only Congress can declare war. And you can only have a war with
another country. You can't have a war with bad temper or a war against
paranoids. Nothing makes any sense, and the people are getting very
confused. The people are not stupid, but they are totally misinformed.

*Q:* You've called the country "The United States of Amnesia." Is this
something in our genes?

*Vidal:* No, it's something in our rulers. They don't want us to know
anything. When you've got a press like we have, you no longer have an
informed citizenry.

I was involved somewhat with Congressman Con-yers on what happened in
Ohio during the last Presidential election.

Conyers is the ranking Democrat on the Judiciary Committee, and he went
up there with a bunch of researchers. They went from district to
district, and they found out how the election was stolen. He wrote a
report that was published by a small press in Chicago. To help out, I
said I'd write a preface for him on how the election was stolen. We were
thinking that might help. But The New York Times and The Washington Post
were not going to review the book about how we had a second Presidential
election stolen. They weren't going to admit it.

A huge number of Americans still believe that Saddam Hussein was
responsible for 9/11. You have a people that don't know anything about
the rest of the world, and you have leaders who lie to them, lie to
them, and lie to them.

It's so stupid, everything that they say. And the media take on it is
just as stupid as theirs, sometimes worse. They at least have motives.
They are making money out of the republic or what's left of it. It's the
stupidity that will really drive me away from this country.

*Q:* When were the media better?

*Vidal:* They've never been much good. They belong to the people who own
them. But they were better, the level was higher. There used to be
foreign correspondents in other countries. There's nobody abroad now.
The New York Times gave up being anything except a kind of shadow of The
Wall Street Journal. The Washington Post is the court circular. What has
the emperor done today? And who will be the under-assistant of the
secretary of agriculture? As though these things mattered.

*Q:* What do you think of the public advertising of one's faith among
political leaders? They make a show of going to church and participating
in ceremonies.

*Vidal:* Personally I find it sickening, and very much against what our
Founders had in mind. Remember that the country was mostly founded by
Brits, and England's always gotten credit for having invented hypocrisy.
So we are reflecting our British heritage when we hypocritically talk
about how religious we are.

*Q:* Is the U.S. more like Sparta than Athens?

*Vidal:* We're not so good as either. We certainly are not warlike.
Spartans were based upon military service. We don't want that. We want
to make money, which I always thought was one of the most admirable
things about Americans. We didn't want to go out and conquer other
countries. We wanted to corner wheat in the stock market or something
sensible like that. So we are very unbelligerent. We were dragged
screaming into World War I. Well, we were slightly enthusiastic about
that, but we were very innocent farm people in those days. In World War
II, we fought to stay out of that war. And every liberal figure in the
United States from Norman Thomas on was anti-war. They were
isolationists in the old populist tradition. So we never had a chance of
being Sparta.

*Q:* Talk about the role of the opposition party, the Democrats.

*Vidal:* It isn't an opposition party. I have been saying for the last
thousand years that the United States has only one party---the property
party. It's the party of big corporations, the party of money. It has
two right wings; one is Democrat and the other is Republican.

*Q:* What can people do to energize democracy?

*Vidal:* The tactic would be to go after smaller offices, state by
state, school board, sheriff, state legislatures. You can turn them
around and that doesn't take much of anything. Take back everything at
the grassroots, starting with state legislatures. That's what Madison always
said.
I'd like to see a revival of state legislatures, in which I am a true
Jeffersonian.

*Q:* Do you see any developments on the horizon that might suggest an
alternative?

*Vidal:* Newton's Third Law. I hope that law is still working. American
laws don't work, but at least the laws of physics might work. And the
Third Law is: There is no action without reaction. There should be a
great deal of reaction to the total incompetence of this Administration.
It's going to take two or three generations to recover what we had as of
twenty years ago.

August 30, 2006

DISCO PEOPLE'S COURT

Disco divas, Carol Douglas ("Doctor's Orders) and Sharon Brown ("I Specialize In Love") bring to the court an interesting melody. And Carol! How about Dentist's Orders, for chrissakes?

CHECK IT OUT: YOUTUBE

OSAMA AND THE B-52'S?

While he's still alive and could reasonably
have her killed, one of Osama Bin Laden's former mistresses, the much
maligned Sudanese-American novelist, feminist supporter of Israel and
undercover Super Agent for the SPLA, Kola Boof, is releasing a
scathing tell all book that reveals his freaky sexual habits, his gift
for writing poetry, his hatred for Sadaam Hussein, his plot to kill
Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, his obsession with the B-52
song "Rock Lobster" and his love for all things Sudanese. Kola Boof's
autobiography, "Diary of a Lost Girl" (ISBN: 0971201986), hits America
in August 2005

Click here for more!

PRWEB.COM

THE EMANCIPATION OF ME ME!


Honey, when a friend called last night with a free ticket to see Mariah at Madison Square Garden, I squealed one of those high bird notes she does! (OK, so my squeal was a bit more like a pig's.) I'm a big fan, but I've never seen her perform. I've never really been to many large concerts. My parents were too cheap to splurge for tickets as when I was a kid, and as an adult, there just aren't many artists I'd pay to see. I travelled to Philly to see Prince's last tour, I caught Cher's farewell tour--easy enough as it lasted 5 years--but besides Patti Labelle, who I've seen 5 times, I don't usually think the concerts are worth the ticket price. Yikes! I guess that means I'm as cheap as my parents... Besdes, I never even saw Patti when she was at her highest chart status, so to see Mariah, the top-selling female artist of all time with 17 #1's at the peak of her comeback, was quite a thrill.

Sean Paul opened. He's sexy, energetic, and his 3 female dancers were outrageously talented. But even though his songs are super-hooky, a little dancehall goes a long way with me. And that constant "Get your hands up!" shit is so annoying. I'll put them up when I want to , not because you've yelled it at me 15 times! Now if he' said put you legs up, that'd be a different story!

He finished, an after a 15 minute break, the MC-monogrammed curtains opened. Miss Thing's stage set got a staning ovation. I think it was by Bennny Meina who use to work with J-Lo, but crystal fringe curtains were hanging off of butterfly-encrusted spiral staircases with neon MIMI signs--you get the idea. She pulled out all the stops for this one. Incluing cameos by Jay-Z and P. Diddy--if you care. It was refreshing to see P. walk out without having his mouth hanging open, as he usually poses. Nope, this time, he walks out onto the Maison Square Garden stage with a toothpick in his mouth--the new look, which says "down-home hip-hop mogul." There were other rapper cameos as well, but I was more interested in Mariah's costume changes an the rhinestone-encrusted mic's which accompanied them--in each color! Next up? Rhinestone-covered mic stands, for her I'LL BE THERE duet with Trey Lorenz.

I've heard singing teachers discussing how Mariah has ruined her voice, how she has no more middle range, just the high squeak an the whispery lower register. They agreed on this with such authority that I may have even posted something about this, because she was supposely using a lever on her mic to turn up a pre-recorded vocal track when she couldn't/didn't want to hit a tough note to augment her lip-synching with the track. Seeing her from a 6th row seat with huge video projections, I din't see any such lever manipulations. Nor was there any part of her register which she did not hit with glorious ease.



I'd heard complaints that her costumes were "drag-queeny". And? What's the problem with that? Theyre were a lot of rhinestone aplliques and side-slits, which do indicate budget Vegas, but as an afficionado of those looks I didn't mind a bit. Seated practically right between the editor of V magazine an Marc Jacobs, I'm sure they may have been a little more judgementally fashion forward, but my only beef with her look is the bare midriff's. I heard Mariah say on a talk show something like "I was tired of everyone telling me I was fat, so I lost weight." (That never occurred to me.) So lose weight she did, and even in the bare midriffs her abdomen looks tight. But it just doesn't indent enough to look good in a bare midriff. (I wonder what it was that made those 60's Hollywood bikini babes look so curvy? Waists trained inward by girdles?) She looks fine in the side cut-outs which bare the sides of her mid-section, becuase that strip of fabric down the center, like the several long rhinestone strand necklaces she worked, cut down on the size of her waist effectively. (Look out for one on me, soon! Or Maybe I'll try wearing two.)



Her hair was long an goddess-y and I was glad to see her working her "stadium-style" paint, with lots of thick lash on top. She seemed to be in a great mood, poked fun at her ups and downs, and had one slight diva moment when the pastor who was supposed to begin one number could not be found backstage. She laughed this off and handled it with ease. I recall sone interview she i right after her "crack-up" and the interviewer was trying to say that one of her singles had flopped. She countered, a little testy, with "Actually it was #1" and he says, "Yeah, but the single was being sold for 99 cents." I wish she had told him "Well actually, I'm the singer, so I don't put the stickers on the cd singles." But the interviewer seemed as if he was trying to get her to admit "I put out a flop record and movie and went crazy!" I'll admit that the MTV strip episode made her seem a little weird, but I really think she just focuses on the music, singing an promotion. And must work herself to death to be sound this great--and lose weight at the same time!?!

I'm an "old school Mariah fan", so I'm not as fond of the hip-hop flavored recent hits, which are really just repeating a groove taken from Tom Tom Club's GENIUS OF LOVE or Mtume's JUICY FRUIT or whichever classic jam--she oes choose uneniably great jams-- and riffing over them. The songs like HONEY and FANTASY, etc. But she's at her best when she can get behind some chord changes and milk them in songs like WE BELONG TOGETHER. Leave the choppy, light-on-melody cuts to the light-on-talent r&b divas who need them. But Mariah needs that choppy sound if she's to remain current--and it's obviously worked as evidenced by her massive comeback. It worked for Nelly Furtado, too. To me, it's real shame that someone responsible for a great song like Nelly's I'M LIKE A BIRD or Mariah's VISION OF LOVE would be forced by the unsophisticated tasted of today's listeners, to come out with PROMISCUOUS GIRLS or "those chickens is ash and I'm lotion", which Mariah sings in IT'S LIKE THAT from her latest album. However, seeing Mariah sing the self-penned "take charge of your life" anthem MAKE IT HAPPEN trumped any luke-warm feelings I had towards all her hip-pop flavored cuts. Adding EMOTIONS and SOMEDAY to her set would have made it perfect! But the blast of pink crepe paper butterflies which exploded over the audience was a sweet touch that left you feeling as if you'd been caressed, as they floated down, by the presence of this major diva.

SICK OF CELLPHONES?



So are the guys at www.phonebashing.com, who feature videos in which they snatch phones from particularly loud cell users.

Check 'em out: PHONEBASHING

EPHESIANS PAJAMAS!

At last! Don't these satin ARMOR OF GOD pj's look comfy-womfy? And they fend off evil in the night. I sure wish JonBenet had had a pair! Anna and Samuel dolls also available. If your brats already own these, remember to get them those violent religious video games so that your kids can learn early on how god loves to smite folks and how religion and bloodshed are inextricably linked a la George W. Bush. And the Islamic jihadists, for that matter.



TO PURCHASE: ARMOROFGOD

WASP WOMAN TRAILER

Y'ALLBONICS

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a
grant designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a lang-
uage to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are
excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.

1) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I
sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup
truck."

2) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother
from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck,
that thang's gonna catch far."

3) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that
brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my
pickup truck."

4) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin'
and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that
Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

5) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw
retard at age 65."

6) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage
in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n,
n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

7) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We
Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

8) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that
bare rat cheer."

9) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unner-
stand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country."

10) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

August 24, 2006

BOY GEORGE CELEBRATED

Boy George tossed out some really good taunts at the paparazzi during his community service last week, contained in the article below. I was guest dj'ing at Mr. Black on Friday and he was hanging out, painted up and in a great mood. And happy to be headed home on Saturday. I was sweet and didn't upset him him by weaving in the intro of DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HURT ME ("Give me time, to realize my crime") and I hated that I didn't have his request handy: Betty Wright's CLEAN UP WOMAN! Just kidding!

By Jonty Skrufff of www.skrufff.com

Daily Mirror columnist Brian Reade celebrated Boy George’s ‘Bulldog spirit’ in standing up to the American media as he carried out his community service in New York this week, declaring ‘Thank God for Boy George’.

“What joy to see an English-man in New York tell the world generally, and America specifically to go screw itself with such style and conviction,” he gushed.

“Boy George in the New York gutter looked a bigger star than at any time during his days as a prancing geisha girl. If only our politicians had the same bottle when backed into a corner by American bullies,” he added.

The popular columnist went on to praise George’s working class values and straight-talking no nonsense approach, which he demonstrated with a superlative response to a particularly snobby US TV reporter.

“You think there’s something wrong with sweeping the streets,” said George, “Get a fucking life’.

“My mum was a cleaner, my Dad was a builder, I don’t give a fuck. I just want to do my community service. Now fuck off.”

READ THE REST: TRUSTTHEDJ

PLEASE HELP HIM!

Rant: Trying to set personal masturbation record. Any Help?

Reply to: pers-197583110@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-08-22, 8:38PM EDT


Breaking new records in my mid 30's. I decided to have periodic happiness days. I called out of work, rented the first two seasons of the sopranos (finished season 1)smoked pot, drank a case of coke and ate a 24 inch sub loaded with nitrate packed deli meat. Masturbated to internet porn. The problem:

Kinda out of porn ideas. Started off with the usual (teen, latina, ebony, anal, big dick, facials etc). As the day progressed I had to reach further (granny, hardcore, shemales, thai ladyboys, anime, gagging, creampie, dp, gangbang, pantyhose etc).

Managed 17 times so far today. Would love to clear twenty and go to bed with that feeling of accomplishment, the kind my mother always told me about. Need ideas to get my motor revving again. A website? Perhaps a new technique. Thus far I have used to sock, a variety of lotions, backhand and forehand grip, the under glans tickle, the side sheet-rub, guitar chord method etc. 25 years of preparation for this big day. I have pulled out all the stops. I am commited to victory. If you could see my steely countenance you would know I am serious.

In case anyone is wondering I navigated the chaffing and soreness with a combination of A&D ointment and over the counter non-steroidal anti-inflamatories (Advil).

Cant imagine why my wife left me. But its days like this that make me glad shes gone.

HELP ME!

From Lypstinka! It's more Madame--this time with Debbie Reynolds!

YOUTUBE

And while we're on the subject of up do's and headresses, check out this fantastic 1976 clip of Dalida which Michael Lucas sent me:

YOUTUBE

August 23, 2006

NITE OUT

NONA HENDRYXX



Caught Miss Nona's act at Joe's Pub last night, and she reminded the crowd that there were 3 powerful voices in Labelle, Patti's 70's funk-rock trio which spawned the massive LADY MARMALADE. The other member of the trio, Sarah Dash was present, and let's just say that Nona has remained amazingly trim compared to her former bandmates. The exotic beauty could be a cousin of Iman's, and she let the crowd have it with her 3 energetic back-up singers and tight band. Of course, the crowd went nuts to her version of Labelle's WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?, since I doubt if Patti even performs that in her shows anymore so it's rarely heard live. There wasn't a dry eye in the house during the tunes "we need peace" refrain, and if you like funky music and don't know the song, check it out on itunes--it's from Labelle's NIGHTBIRDS album and it's a funk-rock-rare groove masterpiece with a drumbreak which is known to create pandemonium.

STYLIST STEPHEN SPRIGGS AND SARAH DASH COMPETE FOR BEST SMILE AND CLEAVAGE

LEAVE IT TO BEAVER

August 22, 2006

ROBERTA KELLY: ZODIAC



I bought this album way back when for the cover. Never even heard the song until now. Is it too late for a refund? That doo doo doo doo break is sickening!

YOUTUBE

And in case you're in the mood for another astrological ditty, thanks to anonymous for sending in this insanity! You're right, it IS worse!

YOUTUBE

JOAN CRAWFORD AS WONDER WOMAN

BETTY BOWERS IS AT IT AGAIN!


America, the kid at the UN with ADD, has something new to take its mercurial attention away from the craziness in Iraq: the even crazier John Mark Karr. Talk about snakes on a plane! Finally, a bobble-headed pedophile to make Michael Jackson look, if not blandly benign, at least less heavy-handed with the tattooed eyeliner. We are told that Mr. Karr was in Thailand to have his testicles removed for $1,625. Apparently, he decided that the more cost-effective approach was simply to be a notorious child molester in a maximum security prison. That way, his unwanted balls will be removed by a gang of inmates without charge or handling fee.


READ THE REST: BETTYBOWERS.COM

HOT NEW TREND IN NYC!

If you're a designer or desperate pop star scavenging for white hot NYC street trends, a new one's afoot: CLOWN DRAG. Vlada, a Hell's Kitchen venue which hosted a birthday bash for Rose Royale, attracted more than a dozen of the freaks, as well as other circus-inspired looks. Why Lavinia Co-op, who performed a vaudevillian Cinderella number, even arrived in a male clown look, and changed into another at showtime.

LAVINIA CO-OP



Having joined London's famed drag clown troop BLOOLIPS decades ago, "Lavvy" knows her circus attire, even accessorizing her arrival ensemble with an open beer, as if she were a bumbling alcoholic walking the streets. Ha! The folly of it!

"GEE, YOUR WIG SMELLS TERRIFIC!": XAVIER AND SHERY VINE



Sherry Vine and singer Xavier caught outside against a wall of BRICKS. Sherry later regaled the birthday girl with a spirited LA VIE EN ROSE. Sherry's tiny birth nose has always enfuriated me--and she's a jew! Now before you haul off and call me anti-semitic, I'm jealous of anyone of any race with a nose that petite. Now you're really gonna call me anti-semitic. Someone just forwarded me Stephen Spielberg's letter to Mel Gibson. I am not knowledgeable about Mel's dad's views on the Holocaust, didn't see THE PASSION and have never cared one bit for Mel, his views on gays, his cocky alpha male roles or anything else about him. But I have to treat someone who's spouting off when very intoxicated with a little more leniency. Lord knows, there've been times when I've blacked out and have no idea what I've said for hours. From what I've read, Mel seems like a belligerent drunk who fell off the wagon and started mouthing off. He was clearly off his gourd--he was antagonizing the same cop who was running his fool ass in! Does this guy sound like someone in control of his faculties embarking on a measured hate campaign? Or a loudmouth drunk?

SHERRY'S BUTTON NOSE



Based on THE PASSION OF CHRIST (which I did not see) it's imagined that Mel harbors resentment against jews which he's never voiced publicly. It's not like he held a press conference while sober saying "I hate jews." I don't care if his career does end since I'm not a fan, but I don't think anyone who's ever blown their top--ooh, sounds hot!--or harbored hidden hatred towards any group should be blacklisted based on their drunken outbursts. Whoever has never felt any dislike of any group or gotten totally sauced can cast that stone--not me. Think he's the only bigoted entertainer out there? He just one who got his ass caught. Perhaps he was particularly upset about the escalating Israeli attacks on Lebanon when he drunkenly spouted that nonsense about jews being responsible for every war. CNN reported yesterday that there was growing sentiment among Israelis themselves that their govenment had attacked Lebanon too aggressively. So maybe just a teensy, weensy bit of negative feelings, not towards jews worldwide, but towards the Israeli government's military aggression, was warranted, since it was even on the minds of some Israelis themselves? God, did I water that down enough? I wouldn't want Hollywood to blacklist ME. Of course, I guess they have to know who you are before they blacklist you. Gee whiz! Do I ever know how to bring down a party!

BIRTHDAY GIRL ROSE ROYALE POSES GIRLISHLY IN A DUSTY PINK ENSEMBLE. LOVE THE BETTE DAVIS (LATER YEARS) EYEWEAR!



A popular cocktail waitress from legendary party Jackie 60--arguably one of the best parties in NYC during my lengthy apprenticeship here--Rose is also a well-loved regular at all of drag empress Sweetie's affairs. And speaking of Sweetie, what would any circus theme be without the fat lady?



Why, there's just more of her to love! The poor thing could barely handle the ardent affections of these two young bucks, who pawed at her finery until she almost lost her ladylike hostess's composure.



An alluring bearded, beaded lady was on hand with Linda SImpson, who selected a colorful print sheath dress, accessorized rather oddly with a black bag. No, I don't mean Xavier, behind her--her black clutch handbag!



LATINA LOVELY ANITA GREENCARD TOOK CONTRIBUTIONS FOR AMFAR AT THE DOOR.



(Though knowing Anita as I do, she may have taken a few contributions FROM AMFAR as well!) Promoter/East Village Radio jock Daniel Nardicio goofed around with Harry, who featured a balloon bra.



Nothing can make this fun-loving fox look bad, and I just had to get a full-length shot of her fantabulous gams. And lemme tell ya, it's only the young' uns that'll letcha snap 'em from underneath! (Sweetie galloped down those stairs before posing, as I myself would have!)



In fiery red striped with glitter, Tabboo! certainly knows how to make an entrance!



And if you don't notice her right away, she's quick to reveal her nuts, nestled girlishly inside her pantyhose! "It's natural!"



The Lucky Cheng's gals were out in full force, including the buxom Baby Ru. This is one 'baby" who could breastfeed her damn self!



Also, Cheng's fav's like Brie and these lovelies, whose names I'm ashamed I don't remember. But the Cheng's girls turned it. Brie did her famous water-drenched version of MY HEART WILL GO ON and you gotta hand it to this young asian fox, this outfit shows a lot of effort for a Monday night!





Former Cheng's regular Codie Ravioli looked ravishing. The cunt's been around since Boybar, on through Disco 2000 and all of Pat Field's incarnations. HOW DOES SHE DO IT???? Naturally, there was a hunky young man close by her. Or is that her son?



And new Cheng's girl Violeta gave us some serious coiffure action. She lip-synched to a fiery monologue I'd never heard about baton-twirling from DESIGNING WOMEN.



Lavinia disappeared (as did the contents of her beer, I imagine) and reappeared as a shemale clown.



Her Vaudevillian number about a forlorn Cinderella brought the house down. Look closely and you'll note a young girl, enraptured with the veteran performer, literally stroking her pussy!



Rainblo, looking chic with expertly applied make-up, sang a funny little original ditty called EAST VILLAGE COCKSUCKER, which I'm sure took her years of research to write.



But the tension in the air was palpable, as it was rumored that drag diva H.R.H. Princess Diandra would be recreating her fabled Diana Ross impression as a birthday treat for Rose. But what's a birthday without a surprise? Diandra gagged us all by showing up as Arsenio Hall instead! Or was that Robert Guillaume?



DJ Johnny Dynell did his very best to keep up with the "girls" poorly-labelled, skipping show cd's.



But tempestuous diva Diandra let him know that she was going to REACH OUT AND SMACK SOMEBODY'S FACE if they did not gt the right track on!



Once the brief technical kink was worked out, Diandra, as always, slayed them like 1000 pounds of dynamite!



A tough act to folow, I took off after D's medley. Pity. I was told that one heifer with jugs bigger than Baby Ru's did a strip-tease which involved tits and cock dangling, right down onto a beer bottle which she then drank from! Then Julee Atlas Muse took to the stage as Jon Benet Ramsey, complete with wound marks!

Brandon Oleson was shocked!



But not as shocked as i was when I arrived home to see Anderson Cooper discussing palm prints, footprints, and the DNA of the alleged Jon Benet murderer. Exhaustively covering the background of a man who may have killled a girl who died years ago. I sure wish we were a little more concerned about the Iraqi teen who was raped by a US soldier and then watched while he and other soldiers murdered three of her family members. Aren't you glad your tax dollars are paying for rape and murder?

SOMEBODY STOP HIM!

Man With Two Penises Getting One Removed

NEW DELHI (Reuters - Aug. 19) - An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said Saturday. The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said.

"Two fully functional penes is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying.

The surgery was expected to be challenging as both organs were well-formed and full blood supply to the retained penis had to be ensured to allow it to function normally, he added.

The newspaper did not disclose the identity of the man or the hospital to protect the patient's privacy.

There are about 100 such reported cases of diphallus around the world and it is known to occur among one in 5.5 million men, the newspaper said.

It is caused by the failure of the mesodermal bands in the embryo to fuse properly. The mesodermal bands are one of three primary layers of the embryo from which several body parts are formed.

August 21, 2006

THE BOOB JOB THAT SAVED A LIFE

JERUSALEM - An Israeli woman's breast implants saved her life when she was wounded in a Hezbollah rocket attack during Israel's war with the Lebanese group, a hospital spokesman said Tuesday.

Doctors found shrapnel embedded in the silicone implants, just inches from the 24-year-old’s heart.


MORE: MSNBC



On another tit-illating note, Russian born jewish porn star Michael Lucas will not cancel his scheduled stri-tease appearance in Tel Aviv next week. You can read more about it on his blog. But here a few of the comments that have been praising/attacking his appearance.

"WE DON' T WANT YOU HERE ! GO AWAY ! SHAME ON U !"
"Visit also Lebanon !"
"First Hollywood Freeks... now Michael Lucas!"
"Don't put God to the test"
"Stay Away Lucas Garbage"
"Lukas could be the moschiach!"
"Stop bashing him. You should thank him! He is defending the land of Israel."
"His more of a man than Hollywood Jews"
"I'm a straight guy, but this is just great. Having this guy in Israel will show everyone that Israel is everything that Hezbollah is not: strong, open, proud and tolerant. "
"World gay pride in jeruslem and now this. What a nasty thing to be JEWISH AND GAY!"

PENIS PUMP JUDGE SENTENCED

BRISTOW, Okla. -- A former judge convicted of exposing himself while presiding over jury trials by using a sexual device under his robe was sentenced yesterday to four years in prison.

Donald Thompson spent almost 23 years on the bench and served as a state legislator before retiring from the court in 2004. He showed no reaction when he was sentenced.

At his trial this summer, his former court reporter, Lisa Foster, testified that she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times during trial between 2001 and 2003. Prosecutors said he also used a device known as a penis pump during at least four trials in the same period.

Thompson, 59, was convicted last month of four felony courts of indecent exposure for incidents that took place in his Creek County courtroom.


JOKE GIFT

Thompson, a married father of three grown children, testified the penis pump was given to him as a joke by a longtime hunting and fishing buddy.

"It wasn't something I was hiding," he said.

He said he may have absentmindedly squeezed the pump's handle during court cases but never used it to masturbate.

Foster told authorities she saw Thompson use the device almost daily during the August 2003 murder trial of a man accused of shaking a toddler to death. A whooshing sound could be heard on Foster's audiotape of the trial. When jurors asked the judge about the sound, Thompson said he hadn't heard it but would listen for it.

Police built a case against the judge after a police officer testifying in a 2003 murder trial saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson's robe.

During a lunch break, officers took photos of the pump under the desk.

Investigators later checked the carpet, Thompson's robes and the chair behind the bench and found semen, according to court records.

THE RIGHT WING NY TIMES

FROM HUFFPO. Click on a headline photo to see it as a right-winger would:

HUFFPO

URETHRA FRANKLIN

Aretha impersonator on THE GONG SHOW:

YOUTUBE

August 17, 2006

GRACE'S PLACE

From www.worldofwonder.net's WOW REPORT:

Grace Jones, the tempestuous legendary diva, is being sued by the landlords of the luxury London flat she rented but no longer lives in. She allegedly owes $10,000 in back rent on the $75,600 yearly rent and $18,900 in damages.

THE DAMAGES INCLUDE SPOONS WHICH ARE BLACKENED ON THE BACK!

READ MORE: WOWREPORT

IS BUSH AN IDIOT?

FROM HUFFPO, BY JOE SCARBOROUGH

The greatest political gift a politician can receive from enemies is the gift of being underestimated.

Democrats have always played into Republican presidents’ hands by dismissing them as dimwitted dunces who somehow stumbled their way into the most powerful position on Earth.

Eisenhower was supposedly a dope who frittered away his time on golf courses.

Chevy Chase portrayed Gerald Ford as a bumbling, accident-prone commander-in-chief in countless SNL skits.
Ronald Reagan was branded a lightweight for years and described as a confused old fool in Tip O’Neill’s autobiography.

For the past six years George W. Bush has been the target of ridicule from liberal circles. But now, instead of laughing at Democrats’ ill-directed arrogance, Republicans are quietly joining the left in questioning the President’s intellectual prowess.

READ THE REST: HUFFPO

MCDONNA

MY RESPONSE TO YOUR RESPONSE TO THE RECENT POST CALLED MAMA, DON'T PREACH:

MCDONNA, BY ALBERT CRUDO



I guess should give ol' McDonna more credit. I've never had more comments on any of my blog posts ever! I often voice opinions which could be construed as controversial, but I've NEVER done so in a foolish attempt to draw people to my site out of controversy. What's could I possibly gain from that? Hi, I'm inviting you to check out my site so you can hate me! I write what I feel, and if people respond, cool. But for those of you who can't believe that anyone would ever dislike your precious pop princess enough to slam her unless they're trying to call attention to themselves, you're dreamin'! If I secretly liked her, but criticized her just to spotlight myself, I'd be guilty of the same empty controversy which I'm accusing her of.

But even if I was...HA HA, SUCKERS!..it worked! Like Madonna, who will gladly eat the hatred of religious leaders who've denounced her cross bit as long as it gets her headlines, I'll accept your hate mail as long as you're visiting my site. I'll learn from this legendary i-con, That's con as in con man.) Every hateful hit I get, including the nasty comments, I can use to sell ads on my blog! So thank you for making that site visitor graph soar! And thank you, Madge! But you'd better not "cross" me again or I'll crucify you!

Hmmm. And for those commenters who indicate that they dislike her as much as I do, maybe I could burn an effigy of her and sell tickets... Nah, that's not scandalous enough to snatch any headlines. Let's mount her on a crucifix and have AIDS-infected children from Africa dance around the effigy. Then have a black Jesus (a la the LIKE A PRAYER video) go to jail for it all while I blow him.

Since popular blog The Wow Report posted a link to my Madonna slam, a lot of strangers to my blog have read MAMA, DON'T PREACH. So let me offer you a little introduction to www.LadyBunny.net. I don't shy away from strong opinions or the twisted, mean-spirited humor which the handful of my fans in my miniscule career have come to expect from me. So if you want all sweetness and light, I suggest you log onto Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm's blog. Oh wait! She doesn't have one anymore, since I KILLED HER. But don't worry, I raped her first.

Part of humor is exaggeration. Of course, I don't actually hope to see Madonna fall off a mechanical horse and break her bones any more than I went around rejoicing when she fell off that real horse and broke her collarbone. I don't walk around chanting "Kill Madonna!" every day. (I do it every other day.) But if you are in such a Pretty Pony TM fag-as-teen-girl mode that you are imagine my post was timed as a cruel birthday present for her because you're sitting in your home hosting a birthday party for her playing her songs all night, then SORRY, but you need to GET IT TOGETHER! My birthday was 8/14 and I didn't even remember that until 2 days before. So I'm certainly not keeping track of the birthday of an entertainer I don't give a shit about!

I dj'ed last night and played HOLIDAY. Everyone shrieked while they danced. I'm well aware of Madge's massive appeal and I like some of her music. I don't deny her appeal to OTHERS, but why are fags so HUNG UP on her that I can't have a different opinion of her without your going on attack mode? It's that slavish devotion which I can't comprehend. One commenter referred to her as the "gay savior." CUCKOO! I actually don't understand the need for a savior of any kind. Yep! Proud to be going to hell--but if your silly ass is relying on a bubble-gum "singer" with lotsa nice costume changes to save you....then you just might be seeing me down there.

Intelligent responses to my writing, even those who disagree, are welcomed, and I thank you for taking the time to write to share your viewpoints. But to the haters out there, lemme tell ya a little BEDTIME STORY. My dad used to always tell me something which I couldn't understood and always hated. Every night he'd tell me, "Do your sister's homework while you suck me off!" I'm kidding! (He never had to tell me to suck him off.) But he did get my goat when he'd accuse me of something, and I'd shoot back "Well Jaan (my sister) did it last week!" He'd then infuriate me by saying "We're not talking about Jaan, we're talking about YOU!" Ooh, that shut me down every time and Good Lourdes! how I despised it throughout my childhood. As an adult, however, I've come to understand that he meant "Don't change the subject. We'll settle the problem at hand you, and then we'll move on to another issue.

Some of you are very childish and could use a word with my dad. You're so incensed that I'd criticize the gospel according to Madge that your first impulse is to attack me. Now I used some strong words and expected a strong reaction. But no insult you can hurl at me addresses my gripe about Madonna's pathetic use of a crucifix in her concert and her senseless attempt to explain it away as a means of focusing on sick kids in Africa. Now she may have inspired you, made you dance, given millions to charity and many other things I cannot ever do, but that doesn't change the fact that slinging herself up on a cross is a calculated, empty use of religious controversy, which she's used before, to grab headlines and sell tickets. But many of her bratty fans can't even hear WHAT I'M SAYING--they can only look at who is saying it. And lash out. It's like those robots in the Austin Powers movie who he short-circuits with his zany dance moves. You can't take any criticism of your idol and seriously weigh it up. You get short-circuited, irrational and go on attack mode.

Hey, I'd vigorously defend my idols, too. No one seems to be attacking Rip Taylor and Charlotte Rae too often these days, but when they do, LOOK OUT! I idolize Patti Labelle, but not so blindly that I can't even hear a differing viewpoint or call her my fucking gay savior, for chrissakes.

And your attacks on me--how predictable! I've already admitted to your main disses in my original post! Like Madonna herself, ya ain't too original. Let's look at what they focused on.

I'M JEALOUS

Again, I admit to this! What performer doesn't dream of sold-out arenas? But if this were plain jealousy on my part, why wouldn't I be smearing other top-selling artists? Just because I'm a performer, my criticisms of a more successful performer lose all their validity? (To an idiot, yes, I guess they do. Bunny, stop talking to yourself.) I wasn't walking around seething with envy when I wrote MAMA, DON'T PREACH, but that crucifix story caught my eye on the news and I thought, "Here she goes with THAT crap again!" Many of you have an attitude of "She sells out stadiums, so there!" I never said she didn't. As tired as I think she is, I never questioned the enormity of her popularity. But I don't value financial success over everything else. Of course, the Material Girl is the product of the 80's "Greed Generation", so maybe many of you do. Meaningless controversy involving religious symbols don't offend you, just make that $. That's all that counts, right?

Adrian Acosta aka Amnesia Sparkles, who has his own blog, touched on an interesting point: Madonna and I are both born under the astrological sign of Leo. Now Leos can supposedly be territorial cats and snap viciously at each other, if you put any stock in astrology. This could have been an initial reason for my dislike of Madge. I caught her Leo vibes and hissed, but she went on to provide many more solid reasons for me to dislike her. A lot of her music, her acting and her PR stunts. I am willing to concede that possibly, my birth sign predisposes me to want to snarl at her. Our birthdays (8/14 and 8/16) are 2 days apart, though Deee-Lite's Lady Miss Kier's birthday falls on 8/15and she and I are close friends. But the moment she starts selling out stadiums again, I'll burn that fucking bitch out of jealousy!


I'M FAT

So I dig pancakes AND pancake make-up! Am I trying to keep this a secret? Or rather, do I joke openly about my double chin, pendulous gut and ever-prescent support hose? But I don't care if I'm a morbidly obese shut-in whose only contact with the outside world other than diner delivery boys is this blog I type with pudgy fingers on a grease-and-crumb-stained keyboard, that does not lessen the validity of my opinion one iota. I have an avid appreciation of female beauty, and though Madonna's had some great looks over the years, her new physique with wiry arms and a waist so worked out that it doesn't curve in anymore doesn't appeal to me. Nothing you can say about my own weight will change my taste in womens' physiques. And as for the fool who is imagining my stretch marks, I ain't got none! I think you have to actually lose weight to attain those, and I never have managed to lose, pumpkin.

I will admit that in the photo I used, Madonna appears to carrying something in each hand, so perhaps her arms seem more muscular than they actually are. Poor thing! Forced to carry her own bags! The shame of it!

Elton John blasted Madonna for her nomination as best live act awhile ago. Why? Because she often lip-synchs at her over-priced concerts. Like me, Elton is overweight. Unlike me, he's a musical legend who can sell out large venues with his treasure trove of heart-felt, magical, inspired-by-something-other-than-"Let's-ride-this-new-trend-and-make-a-hit" masterpieces. I was brought to tears watching him sing accompanying himself on piano--no band, no costume changes, no special lighting and no dancers. Madge tried that too, with a guitar, and even hardcore fans were forced to admit it was skunk. But my point is, Elton wasn't slamming Madonna because he's fat or jealous, as you claim I am. He's reading her because he thinks she's bogus, as I do. Is Elton as outlandish, mean-spirited asshole as I am? Or is he simply unafraid to expose a hoax?

For the record, I never read Madonna for her age. I'm only a few years younger than she. Plus I love my mature divas. Carol Channing and Charo really float my boat, and they've stuck with their trademark looks for decades. I much prefer this to constant reinvention. I guess I'm old-fashioned.

But maybe my advanced age has cause me to recall something which you youngins' don't. As a very sexy, older rock star friend who still sells out stadiums has told me, "Madonna killed music." Before the popularity of MTV, songs were judged by their sound, not the way that the singers looked in a video. Madonna's had some fantastic videos, but she is a pop star who looks great, not a musical powerhouse. I liked her best musically when she was essentially a girl session singer for top-notch producers, with little input. Except for EVERYBODY, which I admit to liking. She wrote it. But her song-writing can be atrocious. Someone mentioned the lyrics in I LOVE NEW YORK:

"I don't like cities, but I like New York
Other places make me feel like a dork"

PEW!

Before you rush to her defense, let's call a truce for a second. If you can stop despising me for just a minute, I'll admit to being a fat, jealous, no-talent cow if you'll just seriously consider those lyrics' on their merit. But I don't think you can call a truce even for a second. I think you're so brain-washed by mediocrity that you can't separate your actual thoughts from the effects of decades of her marketing strategies. If you really consciously love Madonna, then fine. Enjoy her! But if you hate anyone who has a different viewpoint about her, you're a successfully-programmed Moonie who can't think for themselves. I'll never forget a drunk fag running up to me begging me to play the Madoodoo/Shitney duet a few years ago. I said 'I hate that song", which doesn't have a single hook in it. I mean, if you're going to base your career on marketing research, hire decent researchers! The drunk fag's face was cracked as he said "What do you mean? It's Britney and Madonna! What's not to like?" Two successful marketers, who've worked their magic, apparently, on this guy. So brainwashed by these two generations of pop tarts that he's unable to even evaluate their music anymore. THEIR MUSIC: the reason they are supposedly here!

MAMA, DON'T PREACH was forwarded to two gays in the music publishing business. Consider that they might have a bit more knowledge about behind the scenes biz talk than you or I. Both agreed with me wholeheartedly on the post and commended me for my insight. One of them took me to task for one point, that I'd said Madonna can "dance OK." His words:

"All is I can say is that you could not be more accurate in your views on Madonna. I have had countless debates with the kids as to why I think she is overrated and certainly not worthy of the all praise she gets. I am so sick of hearing people say "I love Madonna because she "constantly" reinvents herself". Puhleeze!! More like bites, borrows, and pimps, gay culture, black culture, latin culture, and everything else she can get her hands on.
 
You actually gave her more credit than I would. (You mentioned that she "can dance ok.") Honestly, I'm still waiting for this artist who is known for her dance music to bring it to me in terms of dancing. All that yoga, posing, etc, does not really qualify as dance in my book. And her VOGUE in 1990 was tired, she should have really studied how the kids bring it at the balls and Christopher Street and then she might have done it justice."

The only other footage I saw from the tour was of the mechanical horse. The horse was less mechanical than Madonna! Another concession: I did not see the concert. One sweet commenter who sent me a personal email vigorously disagreed with MAMA, DON'T PREACH. He claims that Madonna brings up lots of relevant issues in her concert. I'll admit that my only exposure was through news clips and articles online which included her publicist's quotes. I did NOT see the CONFESSIONS tour. Another commenter suggested that I spend the $300+ on a ticket to see it instead of drugs. How about this? If you really wanna convince me that she's so great, chip in and send me $600+ and I'll buy a ticket and see her on lots of very good drugs. Maybe I'll have a religious experience and she'll become my "gay savior." Or maybe I'll scalp the ticket and actually have an enjoyable evening.

Besides thanking regular commenter Aaron for watching my lard-covered back and keeping the haters from the comments section in line, that's all I have to say on this subject. From all these comments, it's clear that that many gays love their Madonna. I sure wish they cared a little less about defending some "singer" and a little more about the pitiful situation the world, including their hanging-by-a-thread civil rights, is in. It seems they'd rush to defend a straight zillionaire or vote on AMERICAN IDOL before they'd even take the time to defend themselves! But, crushed, I have to admit that it's possible to worship McDonna and a social conscience. Though from some of the comments, I'm not sure that Maonna worship can co-exist with the study of spelling, grammar or punctuation. MUAH!

And if you need any more evidence of her tired publicity stunts, she recently announced that she and hubby Guy would be renewing their wedding vows. Right. So you're swamped on tour for months and suddenly decide to renew your li'l ol' wedding vows via a press release. To me, this seems like a calculated announcement to either get more press for the show or get out a positive story in the midst of the religious controversy, which is getting a little too hot. Designed to send the sweet message. "Awww. They're still in love. They want to re-do the traditional religious rite which unites them." Bullshit! This manipulative woman would even pimp out the love for her husband to tweak her image/sell tickets.

A comment from SFGATE.COM

Her people are shooting out a release a day trying to recover from the crucifixion toe-stubbing. Madonna donates. Madonna will renew her vows. What's next? Is she gonna adopt a baby? Shave her head for charity? Make another movie? NO, ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, BACK ON THE CROSS!!!


August 16, 2006

GRACE JONES STRIPS...

...into a Keith Haring body-painting! From the movie VAMP:

YOUTUBE

August 15, 2006

CNN ANCHOR APOLOGIZES TO NED LAMONT

For calling him "the Al Quaeda candiate" during his Connecticutt primary run against Joe Lieberman. Propaganda, anyone? If you are anti-war, according to the "liberal" news channel CNN, you support Al Quaeda.

WATCH VIDEO: CROOKSANDLIARS

"PEOPLE ARE DEFINITELY SCEPTICAL"

Interesting article from the UK Guardian about skepticism surrounding the recent "alleged" London terror attack.

"It was not in horror or panic that thousands of ordinary people contacted the BBC or posted points on the Guardian's Comment is Free website in the hours after last week's terror plot. The mood of many seemed to be one of profound caution, even scepticism, over the allegations of a murderous scheme in which 50 people would try to bring down up to 20 planes between Britain and America."...

..."In my opinion it is a cover-up because of what's going on in Lebanon," says Munir Khan. "When you turn on the TV you see innocent people getting killed. This [plot] distracts from that."

A moderate Muslim who has been a member of the Labour party for nearly 20 years, Khan quit about eight months ago to join the Lib Dems. He does not trust the evidence coming out of Pakistan in relation to this latest alleged terror plot. "The Pakistan government will say anything for money," he says. "If the UK government gives them money to say something, they will say it."

MORE: GUARDIAN.CO.UK

ROCKY MOUNTAIN DRAG

I dj'ed and performed in Denver, Colorado over the weekend at the stunning new home of a sweet gay couple. They'd moved into a ritzy nabe called Cherry Hills Farm and wanted to host a housewarming party that their straight, upscale neighbors would remember. This included a silver spray-painted chick adorning a sushi buffet (!), Cirque de Soleil-type performers greeting the guests, and my crazy ass providing sweet family entertainment like ALL THAT JIZZ and DON'T LET YOUR SON GO DOWN ON ME. Thinking I might break the ice, I told the crowd how shocked I was at what the couple had done to the place: "I was here last night for rehearsal and am simply amazing at the overnight transformation--where on earth have they hidden all the porno, giant dildoes, hustlers, sling and that meth lab?" Everyone kept asking me if I was affected by the altitude--I thought they meant my wig! Hey, just warmin' up.

But I did get in the day before and got to check out an authentic western drag club during their amateur night. It was Friday night and a little slow. Locals call it drag school since it's an amateur night. But what a treat--there were more queens than customers!



I love ye olde tyme drag shows--where else are you going to see two queens keeping forgotten numbers like the Whitney Houston/Deborah Cox duet SAME SCRIPT, DIFFERENT CAST alive? The Empress of Denver was on hand and was as gracious with her tips as she was in posing for me.



Wearing a modest Friday-night tiara with jeans, an Empress of The Imperial Court must never fly in the face of royal protocol and appear without her imperial consort, who escorted her, in a medallion and jeans, to the stage for each tip given to the performers who synch'ed their hearts out before this tulip and drama mask-festooned backdrop.



One energetic showstopper took to the the stage in a Charo-esque strips dress which screams Vegas razzle-dazzle, even though her black bra was clearly visible from the dress's bare shoulder.



I didn't catch her name, but her pouffy wig with roots was major.



Why Denver even boasts it's own club kid drag!



And crossdressers! This gal turned "her" head, but she wore no wig or make-up, only sleek, shaved legs and pumps as she sidled up to a sultry tan blonde with full bangs. Just call me the new Nan Goldin.



WHY SO SAD, PRETTY LADY?



I left before this buxom fox went on, but her look, with black roots and a shiny platinum ponytail was ovah! She was chatting at the bar with a cute, older preppy gent who didn't seem to be too fond of flashbulbs.