August 24, 2006


Rant: Trying to set personal masturbation record. Any Help?

Reply to:
Date: 2006-08-22, 8:38PM EDT

Breaking new records in my mid 30's. I decided to have periodic happiness days. I called out of work, rented the first two seasons of the sopranos (finished season 1)smoked pot, drank a case of coke and ate a 24 inch sub loaded with nitrate packed deli meat. Masturbated to internet porn. The problem:

Kinda out of porn ideas. Started off with the usual (teen, latina, ebony, anal, big dick, facials etc). As the day progressed I had to reach further (granny, hardcore, shemales, thai ladyboys, anime, gagging, creampie, dp, gangbang, pantyhose etc).

Managed 17 times so far today. Would love to clear twenty and go to bed with that feeling of accomplishment, the kind my mother always told me about. Need ideas to get my motor revving again. A website? Perhaps a new technique. Thus far I have used to sock, a variety of lotions, backhand and forehand grip, the under glans tickle, the side sheet-rub, guitar chord method etc. 25 years of preparation for this big day. I have pulled out all the stops. I am commited to victory. If you could see my steely countenance you would know I am serious.

In case anyone is wondering I navigated the chaffing and soreness with a combination of A&D ointment and over the counter non-steroidal anti-inflamatories (Advil).

Cant imagine why my wife left me. But its days like this that make me glad shes gone.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Allow me to offer my heartiest wishes.
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The best of luck Best wishes Best regards .by bjseek

5:38 AM  

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