August 30, 2006


The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a
grant designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a lang-
uage to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are
excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.

1) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I
sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup

2) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother
from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck,
that thang's gonna catch far."

3) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that
brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my
pickup truck."

4) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin'
and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that
Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

5) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw
retard at age 65."

6) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage
in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n,
n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

7) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We
Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

8) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that
bare rat cheer."

9) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unner-
stand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country."

10) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."