August 15, 2006


I dj'ed and performed in Denver, Colorado over the weekend at the stunning new home of a sweet gay couple. They'd moved into a ritzy nabe called Cherry Hills Farm and wanted to host a housewarming party that their straight, upscale neighbors would remember. This included a silver spray-painted chick adorning a sushi buffet (!), Cirque de Soleil-type performers greeting the guests, and my crazy ass providing sweet family entertainment like ALL THAT JIZZ and DON'T LET YOUR SON GO DOWN ON ME. Thinking I might break the ice, I told the crowd how shocked I was at what the couple had done to the place: "I was here last night for rehearsal and am simply amazing at the overnight transformation--where on earth have they hidden all the porno, giant dildoes, hustlers, sling and that meth lab?" Everyone kept asking me if I was affected by the altitude--I thought they meant my wig! Hey, just warmin' up.

But I did get in the day before and got to check out an authentic western drag club during their amateur night. It was Friday night and a little slow. Locals call it drag school since it's an amateur night. But what a treat--there were more queens than customers!

I love ye olde tyme drag shows--where else are you going to see two queens keeping forgotten numbers like the Whitney Houston/Deborah Cox duet SAME SCRIPT, DIFFERENT CAST alive? The Empress of Denver was on hand and was as gracious with her tips as she was in posing for me.

Wearing a modest Friday-night tiara with jeans, an Empress of The Imperial Court must never fly in the face of royal protocol and appear without her imperial consort, who escorted her, in a medallion and jeans, to the stage for each tip given to the performers who synch'ed their hearts out before this tulip and drama mask-festooned backdrop.

One energetic showstopper took to the the stage in a Charo-esque strips dress which screams Vegas razzle-dazzle, even though her black bra was clearly visible from the dress's bare shoulder.

I didn't catch her name, but her pouffy wig with roots was major.

Why Denver even boasts it's own club kid drag!

And crossdressers! This gal turned "her" head, but she wore no wig or make-up, only sleek, shaved legs and pumps as she sidled up to a sultry tan blonde with full bangs. Just call me the new Nan Goldin.


I left before this buxom fox went on, but her look, with black roots and a shiny platinum ponytail was ovah! She was chatting at the bar with a cute, older preppy gent who didn't seem to be too fond of flashbulbs.


Blogger Tim Hurley said...

I'm moving!!!

11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god, how did I miss you? If I had only known...

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm shaving!!!

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GODDAMN you are some ugly bitches.

5:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, that "Why so sad pretty lady" looks exactly as Anna Gasteyer would look if she were impersonating Muffie Potter Aston for a SNL skit.

6:17 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Those "ugly bitches" are having a great time, and probably couldn't care less about the opinion of some nutless toad who can't sign his name.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm confused... was some kind of line crossed in calling them ugly? I mean everything else on this site is mocked mercilessly.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Well, "ugly" is pretty loaded, especially about a few drag queens in Denver who we've never met and haven't hurt us. Mockery is only for the famous! They have huge promo machines that can easily undo any damage...:-)

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, the black rooted drag is Ingenue from PA, who has several legal issues pending here in PA. In fact, she had a hearing today, and got it "postponed" yet again. Be careful-she likes spending money and shopping-unfortunately, it is usually with other people's money and credit cards that she stole out of bars and hotels!!!

10:35 AM  
Blogger Violatrix said...

Oh, home sweet home...

When I was a baby gay back in Denver, I experienced this all.

And they wonder why I left.

But truly, madly deeply...doo doo.

9:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes Good old Ingenue:
Former Miss Gay Pennsylvnaia America
Former Miss Keystone America
Former Miss Maryland America

Current Raining Miss Dauphin County Prision.

Whens the next court date?

3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you are going to speak about things which you know not, you should at least know how to spell "Reigning." People go through things, good and bad. Forgiveness is the most difficult thing, especially when wronged by another. We have all been there. Perhaps, you may want to examine yourself before judging another.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Last I checked, there are other former Miss PA's who have had legal issues (the good, bad and arrogant), as well as other former title holder's. Really, who gives a damn? People who have nothing better to do, that is who. Tired queens in "The Life," yes kids, "The Oldest Profession." Musical Theatre History for 500. Maybe they will have a step down in Dauphin County from PA 2003 to PA 2002.

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. Someone must have a lot of time on his/her hands.

10:57 AM  
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