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CATHERINE TATE

THE TRANSLATOR! WATCH IT NOW!

EMPRESS BOLL WEEVIL

Electra Woman and Dyna Girl take on the Empress of Evil!

HE-SHEE MCGOO

Aka Chi Chi Larue is coming to town! She's dj'ing nowadays, and you can catch her along with NYC promoter Daniel Nardicio on Thursday at the hell-jole listed below. Joining them is Squeezebox founder/fashion guru Michael Schmidt, who specializes in making custom chain mail pieces for the likes of Tina Turner, Debbie Harry and Cher. In fact, Cher apparently just invested in his line with a big check saying "Pay me back if it works out." How cool is that? But back to the partay, Chi Chi brings a raucous energy to any slutfest she's involved in so stop by and say "High?"

THE CROCODILE HUNTER MEETS ROSS

(Jay Leno's faggy intern.) Hilarity ensues. I do love the way that Ross holds his hands on his hips at an extra high, womanly position, as if trying to create a waist. (Why would I notice this?)

TINA LEGS TANTRUM

So that's who bought my dvd in Ireland! I forgot how retarded I was until I caught another queen doing my act! I created a monster! Well, another monster, that is. I will say that her titties help more milk than mine did.

PAUL LYNDE!

DRAG LEGEND CHARLES PIERCE WITH PAUL LYNDE



SELLING CEMETARY PLOTS TO ROCK HUDSON and MEETING KISS ON HIS HALLOWE'EN SPECIAL!

WAH WAH!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello".

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes".

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "A coat for only $1,000? Sure...go ahead if youlike it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 200 models. I saw one I really liked"

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000"

MAN: "OK, but for $90,000 I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if you really want to."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

WHERE'S CARACTACUS?

INSANITY!

OBVIOUS TO A 12 YEAR OLD

Who attended the peace march in Washington today, along with Jane Fonda and active duty troops.

via HuffPo:

Standing on her toes to reach the microphone, 12-year-old Moriah Arnold told the crowd: "Now we know our leaders either lied to us or hid the truth. Because of our actions, the rest of the world sees us as a bully and a liar."

READ THE REPORT: YAHOO

KOSHER PORN

Via huffpo:

Read all about the upcoming x-rated release from Israel, ASSREALIS.

BUSH VS NIXON

Carl Bernstein: Bush Administraton Has Done 'Far Greater Damage' Than Nixon

By E&P Staff

Published: January 24, 2007 4:00 PM ET updated Thursday

NEW YORK In an online chat at washingtonpost.com on Wednesday afternoon, Carl Bernstein, the famed Watergate reporter at that paper and now writing articles for Vanity Fair, took several hard shots at the current Bush administration -- almost every time he was asked about the Nixon era. It came just as news of the death of former Watergate ringleader E. Howard Hunt was circulating widely.



After a long explanation of how the American system "worked," eventually, with Watergate, Bernstein said:

"In the case George W. Bush, the American system has obviously failed -- tragically -- about which we can talk more in a minute. But imagine the difference in our worldview today, had the institutions -- particularly of government -- done their job to ensure that a mendacious and dangerous president (as has since been proven many times over, beyond mere assertion) be restrained in a war that has killed thousands of American soldiers, brought turmoil to the lives of millions, and constrained the goodwill towards the United States in much of the world."

Later, asked if the Nixon administration was unique in hiring disreputable characters, he replied: "Until the Bush-43 administration, I had believed that the Nixon presidency was sui generis in modern American history in terms of your question...

"In terms of small-bore (but dangerous) characters like Howard Hunt and Gordon Liddy with their schemes, I doubt that any presidency approaches the criminality of the Nixon White House. But the Watergate conspiracy--to undermine the constitution and use illegal methods to hurt Nixon's political opponents and even undermine the electoral system--was supervised by those at the very top.

"In the current administration we have seen from the President down -- especially Vice President Cheney, Attorney General Gonzales, Condoleeza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld -- a willingness to ignore the great constitutional history of the United States -- to suspend, really, many of the constitutional guarantees that have made us a nation apart, with real freedoms unknown elsewhere, unrestricted by short-term political objectives of our leaders.

"Then there are the Geneva conventions: Who would have dreamed that, in our lifetime, our leaders would permit their flagrant abuse, would authorize torture, 'renditions' to foreign-torture chambers, suspension of habeus corpus, illegal surveillance of our own citizens....

"But perhaps worst, has been the lying and mendacity of the president and his men and women--in the reasons they cited for going to war, their conduct of the war, their attempts to smear their political opponents.

"Nixon and his men lied and abused the constitution to horrible effect, but they were stopped.

"The Bush Administration -- especially its top officials named above and others familiar to most Americans -- was not stopped, and has done far greater damage. As a (Republican) bumper-sticker of the day proclaimed, 'Nobody died at Watergate.' If only we could say that about the era of George W. Bush, and that our elected representatives in Congress and our judiciary had been courageous enough to do their duty and hold the President and his aides accountable."

Bernstein was also asked about the CIA leak case and the leaking of Valerie Plame's name, which he called "a truly Nixonian event, a happenstance not atypical of the take-no-prisoners politics of the Bush presidency. But it pales in comparison to the larger questions of the Constitution, of life and death, of the Geneva conventions, of the expectation that our leaders -- from Condoleeza Rice to Dick Cheney, to the attorney(s) general to Paul Wolfowitz and on down and up the line speak truthfully to the American people and the Congress. They have consistently failed to do so."

AM I THE ONLY MONSTER...

...who was thrilled to see a couple and their uncontrollable (she put the troll back in uncontrollable!) bratty daughter bounced off a plane as she refused to take her seat before take-off and was hitting the parents? Though I may look pregnant, I can't actually bear children, but I know from my sister's offspring what a committment they can be. As in a non-stop committment for 13 years--at least! I know that there are going to be occasional flare-ups wich even Bose noise-cancelling headphones and a Valium can't extinguish, but if your brat is prone to fits, sedate the little monster! Don't you think there should be mandatory sedation for proven wailers on any flight over two hours? Cuz if they ain't yelling, their kicking the back of your seat. So if you can't control your kid, slip them a vitamin V and show a little consideration for your fellow passengers. Or maybe they could check them with the rest of their luggage in one of those pet cages? Does anyone else think this is a good idea? Or will I once again be proven to be inhuman?


From yahoo.com:

ORLANDO, Fla. - AirTran Airways on Tuesday defended its decision to remove a Massachusetts couple from a flight after their crying 3-year-old daughter refused to take her seat before takeoff.

AirTran officials said they followed Federal Aviation Administration rules that children age 2 and above must have their own seat and be wearing a seat belt upon takeoff.

"The flight was already delayed 15 minutes and in fairness to the other 112 passengers on the plane, the crew made an operational decision to remove the family," AirTran spokeswoman Judy Graham-Weaver said.

Julie and Gerry Kulesza, who were headed home to Boston on Jan. 14 from Fort Myers, said they just needed a little more time to calm their daughter, Elly.

"We weren't given an opportunity to hold her, console her or anything," Julie Kulesza said in a telephone interview Tuesday.

The Kuleszas said they told a flight attendant they had paid for their daughter's seat, but asked whether she could sit in her mother's lap. The request was denied.

She was removed because "she was climbing under the seat and hitting the parents and wouldn't get in her seat" during boarding, Graham-Weaver said.

JANE CHILD

Remember this one? Great voice and nutty, high 80's hairstyle! Too bad she didn't have more hits.

BRITNEY'S NEW CD FINISHED!

CHER THROUGH THE AGES

BY THE INCOMPARABLE FRENCH AND SAUNDERS!

LEGENDS REVIEW

By Randy and Fenton from the Wow Report. Here's a teaser...


Randy Barbato: Could you believe those Nolan Miller sketches in the lobby?

Fenton Bailey: I wish they were selling those! Fabulous!

Randy: Linda Evans' face is weird.

Fenton: It's so totally post human. Did you notice how strange both their bodies were?

Randy: It was a total drag extravaganza.

Fenton: They even called each other drag queens. More than once, and ripped their wigs off!

Randy: And a male stripper humping them from behind?

Fenton: It should have been playing at Rage!

Randy: The Pyramid!

Fenton: Escuelita!

Randy: The piers!

READ THE REST: WOWREPORT

SPLASH'S DISCO TEA

SHAKE IT, BABY, SHAKE IT!



A RAVENOUS FRIEND PREPARES TO EAT SHERRY VINE AND THEATRE COUTURE'S ERIK JACKSON



H.R.H. PRINCESS DIANDRA WENT ON DESPITE A TRAGIC CAB ACCIDENT WHICH SEVERED BOTH OF HER ARMS!



If you are out and about in NYC on a Sunday night, please stop Splash for our DIsco Tea every Sunday from 7-11. It's early, so it's so casual that it's almost like not going out! Last week was a blast! Princess Diandra as Diana Ross put on a helluva show, lip-synching to NO ONE GETS THE PRIZE and THE BOSS, two heavenly, dramatic disco classics written by Ashford and Simpson. (Of course, she showed up so fucking late that I thought she was impersonating Grace Jones, mk?) The crowd parted as the boa-wrapped diva swished and swirled down onto the dancefloor (closer proximity to tippers) but of course, always hit all of the music's stops, horn hits, drum fills and drum-breaks. And naturally, Miss D grabbed someone from the audience to pull them close during NO ONE's boogie breakdown and then shove them aside when Diana says "Back off!" It was so old school that it was new. Or should I say nu? Or should that be I, hereby retire? Don't answer that!

So we've traded in our poppers for walkers and we're hitting the town again! Seen: RuPaul, Bravo's Andy Cohen, high fayshion hairdresser, Pyramid regular and Nan Goldin model (he's on the cover of her book THE OTHER SIDE) Jimmy Paul and Flotilla Debarge in a kicky Dreamgirls tee. You may recall that Flo faces charges in a few months for brawling with a couple at some forgotten club, so she hasn't been spotted out as much lately. However, she arrived early enough for me to spin a few songs which I knew might never pack a dance floor, but which she and I would enjoy. Like Melba Moore's cover of the BeeGees' YOU STEPPED INTO MY LIFE and Bonnie Pointers' FREE ME FROM MY FREEDOM. The latter features disco's only known banjo break, as well as lyrics like "Tie me to a tree, handcuff me" during which Flotilla would cross her arms as if she were being jailed. Hilarious!



Splash's handsome manager Ray emcees a line dance every week. The crowd seems to love it, and actually manages to do the Hustle. I have never for the life of me been able to learn the Electric Slide, the Hustle, the Llambada or the Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the Side dances. Yet these guys and gals seem to manage to accomplish it drunk, every week as I look on in amazement. Of course, a 6' 3" muscular hunk with a deep voice like Ray telling you what to do with your legs can prove somewhat irresistible.

There's a new hostess, and she'll murder me on the dancefloor for no remembering her name but she's new, dammit! But she certainly has a knack for grabbing the foxy fellers. I'm not usually turned on by sweat, but DAYAM, BIG BOY!



PRINCESS BRITTANY AND BLOOLIPS LEGEND LAVINIA CO-OP



Vivacious hostess Bianca Del RIo certainly engages all the customers, when she takes a break from engaging the bartenders with drink requests. Which is about 5 minutes out of each night. But she can handle her liquor--she's from New Orleans! The whore is actually flying home every week to to emcee at Oz each Saturday night until Mardi Gras, and then back for an early gig (7-11) on Sundays? Talk about a rough commute!

BIANCA SAYS "MAKE MINE A DOUBLE!"



BIANCA WITH DANCE MUSIC VETERAN KEVIN WILLIAMS


SHAKE IT, BABY!

BIANCA SAYS "THAT'S ITALIAN!"



BIANCA STEALS BUNNY'S HUSBAND



BIANCA DIES. HUNT FOR NEW HOSTESS BEGINS. LET'S MAKE THE SEARCH INTO A FUCKING REALITY SHOW/COMPETITON!

I'll be in Florida for the weeks of February 14th and 21st. Replacing me the first week is circuit star Manny Lehman and for the second week it's Grammy award-winning Hex Hector! And that nuyorican knows his classic disco! Unti then, it's Granny award-winning granvestite dj Lady Bunion.

Last week, I graced the cover of HX and since I'm off the stands, I'll reprint my interview here for thos of you who might have missed it!



1 So how did this party come about, whose idea was it - Christina's? I'm just curious which came first: The idea of a Disco Tea or the idea of a Lady Bunny tea where the disco theme came second.

Rub it in: I came it second! It was Christina's idea. "Tina" really makes any night special, doncha think? She had hired me a year back to do a disco-themed birthday party for break-dancing interior designer Tony Furnabio and it was a hoot.

2 What do you say to those people who say, Disco is dead!

I say "Drop dead!" I dj at lot mixed corporate parties and even if straight guys are requesting 50 Cent all night, put on GOT TO BE REAL and they all hit the floor. Besides, half of today's hip-hop and dance hits are based on a one bar sample of an old disco tune like Chic Cheer (Love Like This by Faith Evans), Heartbeat (Hotstepper) or the Abba sample used in Madonna's Hung Up). Instead of hearing one bar repeated over and over--come out and hear the whole fucking song, dammit! Beyonce's Crazy In Love is an old soul sample, too. These kids need to be educated and I mean to do it! And if the kids are over 8 inches long, their "education" can include one-on-one "counseling sessions"in the dj booth!

If it were dead, could Bunny bring it back?

Honey, if I could raise the dead, I'd become Flotilla Debarge's manager!



4 What do you love about disco?

It's only the most brilliant dance music ever! Anthems from that era are constantly being remade or remixed from I Will Survive to Love Sensation to Lady Marmalade. At it's height, disco became so huge that even rockers like Kiss and Rod Stewart recorded dance tracks. And when the money was in dance music, it attracted the top songwriters, producers and artists. So the quality of this music is incredible. Do you think the dance music of today is quality music? Newsflash! It ain't even music! There's not even a vocal and it sounds like one dull-ass "progressive" drum track mixed into another. "Soundtrack To Tweak By" is so worn out that yes, I think a 30-year old quality disco track is fresh by comparison. Everyone I know gripes about mindless circuit sounds played in big clubs. So log off of manhunt.com and get your groove on!

Today, there are no major label dance artists. Ultra Nate, Martha Wash and Deee-Lite in the 90's were really the last ones in this country. Current dance acts may have fantastic voices, but they are relegated to dance 12 inch's without even their photo on it! (Fags, focus! I meant a 12 inch record so quit drooling or turn to the back pages of HX.) In contrast, the disco era cultivated some of the gay community's best-loved stars and some truly outrageous talents and characters from Donna Summer to Sylvester to Grace Jones. They had strong identities so it wasn't just faceless music. That's why singers like Thelma Houston and France Jolie still tour alongside today's dance divas. Who ARE today's dance divas, anyway? I can't name many. Deborah Cox was the last stand-out star with a string of hits and she doesn't even have a record deal now. Plus, she was never intended to be a dance artist. Her songs were simply remixed when they failed on the r & b charts. She had some great remixes but there is not as much money in a dance hit as in an r & b smash, so even talents as cherished as Deborah's are neglected. Classic disco music was written to be uptempo--it isn't remixed ballads which didn't chart.

5 What are your best memories from the disco era?

Well, (ahem!) I was VERY young in the disco era, but I do recall peering excitedly from my crib and shaking my rattle to the beat whenever a disco act appeared on TV. I didn't enjoy this memory at the time it happened, but I have to laugh now because I know from my personal experience that most dj's hate requests. I was in a huge London gay club in 1978. Thinking I would demonstrate how music-savvy I was, I asked the dj "Have you played Shame by Evelyn "Champagne" King yet?" He snarled "Yeah! Six months ago!" I've shied away from making requests ever since then, though I don't mind taking them myself. As long as your request isn't "Give me a drink ticket", "Can you hold my coat" or "Please retire!"

6 Tell me about your history and relationship with Splash. Have you spun other big parties there over the years?

I've mainly performed there, and only dj'ed there one other time when they were trying to have dj's in the coatcheck downstairs. It was winter and they were very busy, so we just gave up on the dj idea since the coats were being drug over the turntables--I spun vinyl then. But I had a blast. I was happy to "help out" security and rifle through coat pockets for drugs, confiscating quite a few baggies--which I'd conveniently forget to turn in.

7 Why is Splash the perfect place for this party?

The sound system is amazing, the cover's low, the drinks are cheap, the naked bartenders are even cheaper, and Avalon's closed!

FUN-LOVING, HUNKY BARTENDER LARRY BULLOCK LOVES HIM A THEME NIGHT!



8 Is this night more about bringing in an older crowd that lived through the era or introducing a younger crowd to that music?

Last week, I put on (You Make Me Feel) Mighty Real and a group of 20-something twinks were squealing alongside 40-somethings. Or maybe they were all in their 40's and some had better plastic surgeons... But for the crowd that knew disco the first time around, they go nuts to hear songs like Native New Yorker played on a big sound system. With it's gospel, soul and latin influences, disco has a joyous, celebratory vibe. Not like today's dark "It's 5 am and I've just peed my pants in a k-hole" dance "music".

Disco or not, why do you think the boys can't seem to get enough of a good Sunday Tea Dance?

One thing hasn't changed over the decades--no, besides Lypsinka's act! Hairdressers have Mondays off, so Sunday is a perfect night out for the gays. Though it is an early night which begins at 7:00, so if you do have to go to work on Monday, you can take advantage of the 2-4-1 until 9 and be in bed drunk by midnight. But really, do that many people in Bush's America even have jobs anymore?

10 Tell me about Bianca del Rio and how she contributes to the evening.

Oh, she does a spectacular job! She's the janitor of the club by day and she keeps the place spotless! Seriously, Bianca is a hoot! She's new on the scene, a recent transplant from New Orleans. The devastating Hurricane Katrina not only left her homeless, but homely! She hosts the night and passes out everything from sparkler rings to cocktails. Some nights she just passes out.

PROMOTER CHRISTINA VISCA, A BOMBED AND FRIGHTENING HELLION, AND DANNY TENAGLIA



11 Do you throw back a few cocktails during your set? And if so, how does that affect your set by the end of the night?

Well, Bianca's a terrible influence on me. Like everyone from NOLA, she's an alcoholic, and she is constantly bringing me my favorite shot--Geritol with a splash of GHB. It's killer! (Literally!) Anyway, though I'd like to think that my song selection is flawless, I'm certainly not the world's greatest mixer. But what other dj is on the floor carrying on with their crowd? OK, so sometimes the song ends an I'm caught on the dancefloor with no music playing-- but who doesn't love surprises? Look, there's a million dj's with seamless mixing skills, but only a few who look great in seamless stockings!

Seriously, even the cheesiest disco record on the tiniest label had a full string and horn sections, latin percussion and dramatic breakdowns. It;s not that I'm drunk, I simply give into the hypnotic hedonism of the sound. It's the music which intoxicates me. You ain't buying it? OK, so Splash's bartenders are not only hunky but very generous. I got so "merry" on Xmas eve that I seem to recall removing my wig and swinging it over my head to the tune of Turn The Beat Around. And speaking of "head", I did play the 17 minute version of McCarthur Park to become "better acquainted" with one of our patrons
in a toilet stall. Just call me the dj with the bj! Oink!

GERALDINE HUNT WITH RICK JAMES. CLICK ON HER NAME TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THE SINGER OF CAN'T FAKE THE FEELING. (I had no clue that she wrote the early 80' hit MURPHY'S LAW for her daughter's group Cheri!



LADY BUNNY'S TOP TEN DISCO CLASSICS

Star Love Cheryl Lynn

Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel Tavares

Get Off Foxy

Don't Stop Til You Get Enough "Michelle" Jackson

Can't Fake The Feeling Geraldine Hunt

Gonna Get Over You France Jolie

Red Light Linda Clifford

Disco Heat Sylvester

Instant Replay Dan Hartman

I'm Coming Out Diana Ross

Heaven Must Have Sent You Bonnie Pointer

REASONS NOT TO TAKE YOUR KIDS TO THE ZOO

Instead, why not just direct them to my site and save on the admission!

PARIS EXPOSED

Aw, you've seen her snatch already! Apparently, she forgot to pay a $208 storage bill and some website's bought it, posted it's contents and even made a trailer about it! We all have a few skeletons in our closet, and I'm sure we've all seen and done a few things which we would prefer not to have on the i'net. Maybe some of these video clips were taken out of context, but hearing her read someone as a poor, broke bitch SEEMS to confirm everything you've ever heard about Paris being a hateful, snobby brat. Don't it?

Thanks to Paris Hiltron for sending it my way!

Apparently this was a PR stunt:by Paris which I fell for--she has a financial interest in the site which has itemized her belongings: DOTSPOTTER

So the commenter who smelled something fishy was right! I was thinking, why not pay $208?

FROM CHRISTINE, GURL!

MS. CHRISTINE KENNEDY MINGO STEINITZ VIA HER MYSPACE PAGE:

Many New Yorkers will remember Christine as an outrageous 80's club figure before she snagged a wealthy husband, who's from the same Steinitz family which was involved in an art forgery scandal/heist. After a few years of married life in Tel Aviv, the exotic Christine is now divorced and living in Paris.

LYPSINKA'S NEW DIXIE CUP AD

DISCO DIALING

Here's a gadget for the little princess in your life that apparently came out from the stuff that fairy tales are made of - a disco diva phone that shares the shape of a shoe. You would be surprised to discover that this YOUniverse Funk Fone actually functions very much like a real telephone, and it is equipped with a trio of funky ring tones to boot. Kids will also love the flashing lights that complement something so corny, it looks cool. The YOUniverse Funk Fone measures 6.4" x 4" x 9.4" and retails for $20.

For the princess or budding queen! I don't know what "actually functions very much like a real telephone" means--is a phone or not? Can you make it in a cell version, pretty lease? Imagine the delight pulling that out of your purse on the dancefloor? This is almost as good as my corn phone. No, not corn pone, a phone shaped like an ear of corn I got at on 14th Street! To paraphrase my favorite KFC slogan (which advertised it's wretched, too-soft corn), YOU WON'T BELIEVE YOUR EARS!

UBERGIZMO

MARCH ON DC 1/27

FROM CENTER FOR AMERICAN PROGRESS

We've identified 312 members of Congress who oppose President Bush's disastrous plan to escalate the war in Iraq. Fewer than half that number, only 145, have offered their support. Likewise, according to a recent Gallup poll, 61% of Americans oppose escalation and only 36% support it.

Escalation will hurt, not enhance, our national security. An overwhelming majority of the American public and their representatives in Congress have made their oppostion clear. Unfortunately, President Bush has stubbornly refused to listen.

It's time to step up the pressure, take to the streets, and demonstrate to President Bush that America stands against escalating this disastrous war. This Saturday, January 27, come to Washington, DC and join United for Peace and Justice and hundreds of other organizations as we March to Stop the Escalation! The Center for American Progress Action Fund (CAPAF) and Campus Progress will provide signs, stickers, and other materials to help make the march a success.

What: March on Washington to Stop Escalation
Where: National Mall between 3rd & 7th Streets
When: Saturday, Jan. 27, 11 am - 1 pm

UNCF ARETHA TRIBUTE

The first year without Lou Rawls! But a stellar line-up nonetheless.



This year’s United Negro College Fund’s (UNCF) An Evening of Stars® Tribute to Aretha Franklin (AEOS) kicks off Black History Month with national broadcasts, including the top ten media markets across the country, such as KNBC in Los Angeles and Chicago SuperStation WGN on Jan. 27, WWOR MY9 in New York and BET on Jan. 28. A complete station lineup, background information and media contacts can be found online at www.uncf.org/AEOS.

This year’s program, produced by acclaimed five-time Emmy-award winning director Louis J. Horvitz, marks the first time in 28 years a woman has been honored for her longstanding and generous support of UNCF’s mission to provide deserving students with access to higher education and scholarship support. Additionally, Franklin is also respected for her well-known activism and philanthropy on behalf of numerous other causes.

The program features stellar performances by some of Hollywood’s biggest stars including recent Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild nominee Jennifer Hudson, winning rave reviews for her performance in Dream Girls. Other performers include recent Kennedy Center honoree Smokey Robinson, American Idol winners Ruben Studdard and Fantasia, former AEOS honoree Stevie Wonder, Natalie Cole, Michael Bolton and Joss Stone, to name a few. Ahmet Ertegun, music industry titan, founder of Atlantic Records and a Franklin mentor, makes his last national television appearance on the program honoring the Queen of Soul. Ertegun died in December of 2006.

BANDS THAT MAKE YOU GAY

Elton is so gay that he's mentioned twice!



From LOVEGOD'SWAY.COM

"One of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is
through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their
children's listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3
piracy".

Yeah, and butt piracy! Did you see that eye make-up Johnny Depp wore as a pirate in BUTT PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN QUEEN? Anyway, The Scissor Sisters top the list of bottoms--did your fav group make the cut?

BANDS TO WATCH OUT FOR

And don't forget to watch Donnie Davies and Evening Service's THE BIBLE SAYS, whih no one can figure out if it's a joke or not. The fool is wearing a pink shirt, for chrissakes!

Sample lyrics: “Lord you are my strength, fill me with your love, help me fight these feelings… God hates a fag, God hates a fag, God hates a fag… To enter heaven, there is no back door…. Righteous man, get on your knees, there is no virtue in sodomy! Jesus my savior is the only man for me!”

LIZ RENAY GONE?!?

Fuck the SOTU! Stop the press! (Or start it in the right direction.) Platinum-tressed glamourpuss extraordinaire is gone an I had to hear about it from a private email??? From the Las Vegas Revie-Journal, here's a thoroughly entertaining obituary for this femme fatale. Femme fatal? You get the (sad) idea.

In his usual dour way, F. Scott Fitzgerald whined, "There are no second acts in American lives." But Fitzgerald didn't know Liz Renay.

Too bad. He could have learned something from her.

My favorite Vegas bombshell was all about comebacks, second acts and thirds. She was unsinkable, indefatigable, incorrigible, irresistible.

Liz was larger than life and had the bust line to prove it. Even as she approached her 80th birthday last spring with her bum hip and other age-related maladies, she still led with her best assets.

In the right light, she could still turn heads and charm the chips from casino players' pockets.

PERHAPS, THIS NOT "THE RIGHT LIGHT"!



It's hard to believe she's gone.

Liz Renay, who in her R-rated lifetime was an actress, author, artist, stripper and convicted felon, died Monday night at Valley Hospital of complications after a lengthy recovery from a fall. The Clark County coroner's office attributed the official cause of death to cardio-pulmonary arrest and gastro-intestinal bleeding. She was 80 going on 25 and left a few family members, a cult following from her role in John Waters' "Desperate Living" and enough ex-husbands to fill a Greyhound bus.

No second acts?

FIND OUT BY READING THE REST: REVIEW JOURNAL.COM


LIZ'S FACIAL BEAUTY IS MESMERIZING IN THIS STUNNING PORTRAIT! (I GUESS STRAIGHT GUYS LIKED HER BIG TITS.)



In cae you don't read the whole article, it ends with this great quote:

"Politicians do the dirtiest act," Liz said. "Their act is way beyond what any dancer could do if they were trying to do dirty dancing. Martha Stewart got a slap on the wrist for lying, and her lie could have hurt people. But those politicians in this case, they wiggle out of things more than the strippers wiggle on stage."

TINY TIM: DO YA THINK I'M SEXY?

Ever wonder what Tiny Tim got up to in the disco era? Well, now you don't have to! Here's a hint--he abandoned his laid-back ukelele compositions for this mind-numbing disco tuba romp! In the 80's, of course, he reinvented himself as Weird Al Yankovic and is still going strong!

RAQUEL'S SCI FI DANCE

I believe this clip is from Miss Welch's 1970 TV big-budget TV special which never aired. It's magnificently horrifying. I will say that her dancing's very well-rehearsed, even though she's not the greatest dancer. With that face and body, all she needed to do was lie there! She sings, too, but that's in thre next clip down on youtube. Bob Mackie did costumes for some of these numbers. There's a zodiac-inspired # which cannot be believed! Raquel is truly one of the sultriest screen goddesesses of all time. Those flared nostrils just scream "I'm a bitch in heat and I want to pick up your scent!" Since I don't have her nostrils despite the black nose-shading which I borrowed from Dionne Warwick-impersonating drags, screaming "I'm a bitch in heat, etc." on street corners has never worked that well for me. Well, homeless guys like it. And a few homeless gals, too.

HOME PURCHASING CLUB

This is genius! I can't manage to post the actual link, so treat yourself and visit to VH1.COM/show, scroll down and select Episode 3, ONE SIZE FITS ALL. Before realizing that the featured frock was reversible, I thought the hint of white at the bottom was a peekaboo colostomy bag and I got really turned on despite my anti-depressants libido-reducing properties. Why isn't the VH-1 programming that's on the air more like this? It's laugh out loud funny.

NEW KID ON THE BLOCK

From Diddy to Fiddy, his skills got 'em all runnin' skeerd!

CHARLOTTE RAE VS JOAN COLLINS

I love 'em both--but I bet Charlotte's right! Thanks to Kabuki for the link!

YOUTUBE

THE BRADY BEARS

HERE'S THE STORY OF A HANDSOME GRIZZLY...

HE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS!

And places, apparently! LIKE THE BEHIND OF THIS ADORABLE TERRIER! Click to witness a blessed miracle!

BREAKING NEWS: BUSH REPORTED DEAD

Shocking details below.

CHER, TINA AND KATE SMITH???

Performing a Beatles medley. Cher sounds really good, Tina is alway s great and really knows hot to swing a wig, and God Bless Kate for being such a sport--and looking a lot like Dame Edna!

CINDY ADAMS PAYS LIP SERVICE TO LIPS

Disappointed by the Golden Globes, the gossip maven dropped by the West Village drag-themed restaurant. I added a few of my own pix from a recent night there at the bottom.

PORTLY PRINCESS SULTANA BELLIES UP TO CINDY ADAMS


All so disappointing that I did what any intelligent person should do. I went to Lips. On Bank Street. It's a drag queen palace. Listen, they know how to dress.

My waitress - you should excuse the expression - was 6-foot-4. A 46-double-D. The waist is 44 inches. The weight, 350. The introduction? "Hi. My name is All Beef Patty." She/he waited for the laugh, then, "I'm actually on Weight Watchers. Soon I'll be Patty Melt."

All Beef Patty, inside a sky-high wig that would make Dolly Parton look bald, glued-on eyelashes so thick they'd work in a carwash, major makeup and a short black patent-leather skirt, sniped about a fellow (pardon the expression) drag queen who went by: "Her outfit's by Dolce & Garbage."

My friends - the Village Voice's Michael Musto, who has a new book out called "La Dolce Musto," and Beauregard Houston-Montgomery, who collects dolls and was a contributing editor for Doll magazine - took me there because they decided I was becoming boring and should see something other than Le Cirque. Musto, in a coat decorated like a dinosaur tail, said to me, "You're the only real woman here," to which Beauregard answered, "I resent that."

Also with us was Sultana the Egyptian belly dancer. By day, in a suit and tie and different look and different name, Sultana's a respected businessman in a very traditional operation. By night, a blond celebrity working his/her varying parts off - bumping and grinding - at Lips. "Lola, a transsexual, makes my Sultana dresses from a Vogue pattern size 22," she/he said.

"My wigs come from 14th Street, but Patricia Field, the famous award-winning stylist from 'Sex and the City,' styles them."
Sultana, the Queen of the Middle East Village, was wearing a spaghetti-strap, beaded, low-cut sheath. I was in tailored plain black pants. There was something wrong with this picture.

All Beef Patty handed me a menu. It was nice. Roasted beet salad, crab cakes, grilled chicken, shrimp, salmon. Michael Musto murmured, "You're the only one here interested in the food."

And All Beef Patty made suggestions like, "Eat your spinach, honey, so your boobs grow big and strong."
Lips was jammed. Open 10 years with branches in San Diego and Fort Lauderdale, Fla., it's the Starbucks of drag queens. People read about the place in tourist brochures because it's obviously a staple of New York. Me, the New York columnist, I didn't know about it. The patrons, many out-of-towners, were mostly straight. Their interactive dialogue went like this:

"I'm from Iowa."

Frankie Cocktail the bartendress: "You have indoor plumbing?"

"I'm from Michigan."

"Even worse."
"My friends told me about it."

"Oh, the ones on crack."

The "waitresses" entertain. Lines like: "What's the difference between our owner Yvonne and a bag of trash? The bag of trash gets picked up once in a while." "Ginger" complained, "Please. More applause. I just got my back waxed." Someone named Jason Cosmo did Liza doing "New York, New York." And then they played Bitchy Bingo. The winner to get a porn CD. One heckled a clean-cut Pennsylvania kid with the oldie: "Drink up. The more you drink, the better we look," to which Sultana sniffed, "Oh, please, that line is Drag Queen 101."

But they were very nice to me. They promised they'd make me an Honorary Drag Queen. They said they'd christen me Mme. Nu-Wave. And then maybe I could borrow Bjork's old swan outfit.

And Cindykins, I do declayah that would be like casting swan before pearls! (And that "joke" is as bad as one of her deceased husband's Joe's!)

LIPS GALS GUSTY WINDS AND REGINE: REGINE DOES A MEAN CHER. GUSTY'S JUST PLAIN MEAN. AND PLAIN.



HERE'S THE BEEF! A LIPS TRADITION, ALL-BEEF PATTY INSPECTS THE SIZE OF A BRIDE-TO BE'S WEDDING RING.



BARTENDER FRANKIE COCKTAIL WILL GET YOUR TAIL CROCKED!



THERE'S EVEN AN ADORABLE TRANNY BUSGIRL!



THIS GAL BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE WITH AN ENERGETIC AIN'T NO OTHER MAN.



SEXY REGINE SNAGGED THIS ITALIAN DREAMBOAT RIGHT OUT FROM UNDERNEATH HIS GIRLFRIEND'S LARGE NOSE. WITH A THICK BLACK MOUSTACHE UNERNEATH THAT, WHICH WAS ALMOST AS HEAVY AS REGINE'S!. THAT CUTIE REMINDS ME OF NICK KAMEN, RIGHT?

SHE'S MADONNA HQ

Is the title of a new video from Robbie Williams, shot I presume, in an LA club with a bunch of queens including Jackie Beat, Alexis Arquette and the notorious bald Constance, who was heavily featured in Christina Aguilera's BEAUTIFUL. Alexis is featured heavily in this piece. Miss Beat just has heavy features. (She'll kill me!) Sexy Robbie starts off the video in drag as Madonna, removing his clothes right before his track begins. It certainly does hook you in. First Jake Gyllenhaal dolled up on SNL and now Robbie--am I turning into a kai-kai queen (sp?) or are these two just hot anyway you slice 'em? Not that I'd want to cut them in any way, you understand. Well, not Jake, anyway.

SUNDAY NIGHT FEVER!

Check out my interview if you like tawdry gossip!

A little ol' teaser:

HX: What’s so great about disco?

Lady Bunny: It’s only the greatest dance music ever! With its gospel, soul and Latin influences, disco has a joyous, celebratory vibe - not like today’s dark, “it’s 5am and I’ve just peed my pants in a k-hole” dance music. “Soundtrack to Tweak By” is so worn out that yes, I think a 30-year-old disco track is fresh by comparison. At its height, the genre attracted the top songwriters, producers and artists, so the quality of this music is incredible. The disco era cultivated some of the gay community’s best-loved stars and some truly outrageous talents and characters with strong identities like Sylvester and Grace Jones. Who are today’s true dance divas? Kevin Aviance hasn’t had a smash in a while - unless you count her face!


PS: Sunday Disco Tea at Splash from 7-11 has been a blast. Last week I was amazed to see a dancefloor filled with guys and gals dancing to Debbie Jacob's DON'T YOU WANT MY LOVE and hitting all the 1-2 cha cha cha, 3-4 cha cha cha's with their glow sticks! Insane!

And this week, we have the incredible H.R.H. Princess Diandra (pictured below) performing as Disco Diana Ross at 10:00. Diandra's Diana impersonation is truly phenomenal, and sometimes this stuious method actress even gets really drunk like Diana in order to completely nail her character! Although she tends to get really drunk every night. Oh well, I'm sure she's just doing character research--what a pro!