THANK YOU, ELLEN!

LADY ESTHER GYN IN RIO

That ho is keeping me up to date on the crazy goings on down in Rio de Janeiro, where she makes an annual pilgrimage around Carnaval time. One day I've got to join her. Instead of paying the modest fee for the hunky prostitutes who congregate in the saunas/brothels, she performs there and gets paid in dick! So somewhere in Rio, there's a sauna full of hunky hustlers with glitter make-up in their pubic hair. ANd they are lucky if that's all she done left 'rm with. Here's a pic of a hunky soap star who is "performing" at the sauna soon.



To really rub it in, the hag just emailed a pick of this cutie, who I guess is a myspace buddy of mine, and by mentioning my name she got laid! Wish that worked in NYC! (Maybe she's putting a pillow uner the front of her dress an impersonationg me!) I hope the woman with him ain't his mom. "Hey son! Go screw that crazy-looking drag queen. She knows Lady Bunny." Can you imagine???


But when she doesn't have a cock in each end, Esther does root out new cultural trends. She sent me these vid's of a new dance craze called the Creu, which apparently has something to do with the government screwing everybody over. It is hot and nasty and I would give any of these cuties a tongue bath to show my appreciation of their talent. An instructional video follows.

???

I think that video is of the same person.



The really sad part is that they stir-fried the growth and ate it afterwards.

OBAMA'S VS CLINTON'S RECORDS

This was forwarded to me.

Why Obama vs. Clinton

Senator Clinton, who has served only one full term - 6yrs. - and another year campaigning, has managed to author and pass into law - 20 - twenty pieces of legislation in her first six years.


These bills can be found on the website of the Library of Congress www.thomas.loc.gov, but to save you trouble, I'll post them here for you.

1. Establish the Kate Mullany National Historic Site.

2. Support the goals and ideals of Better Hearing and Speech Month.

3. Recognize the Ellis Island Medal of Honor.

4. Name courthouse after Thurgood Marshall.

5. Name courthouse after James L. Watson.

6. Name post office after Jonn A. O'Shea.

7. Designate Aug. 7, 2003, as National Purple Heart Recognition Day.

8. Support the goals and ideals of National Purple Heart Recognition Day.

9. Honor the life and legacy of Alexander Hamilton on the bicentennial of his death.

10. Congratulate the Syracuse Univ. Orange Men's Lacrosse Team on winning the championship.

11. Congratulate the Le Moyne College Dolphins Men's Lacrosse Team on winning the championship.

12. Establish the 225th Anniversary of the American Revolution Commemorative Program.

13. Name post office after Sergeant Riayan A. Tejeda.

14. Honor Shirley Chisholm for her service to the nation and express condolences on her death.

15. Honor John J. Downing, Brian Fahey, and Harry Ford, firefighters who lost their lives on duty.
Only five of Clinton's bills are, more substantive.

16. Extend period of unemployment assistance to victims of 9/11.

17. Pay for city projects in response to 9/11

18. Assist landmine victims in other countries.

19. Assist family caregivers in accessing affordable respite care.

20. Designate part of the National Forest System in Puerto Rico as protected in the wilderness preservation system.


There you have it. The facts straight from the Senate Record.


Now, I would post those of Obama, but the list is too substantive, so I'll mainly categorize.

During the first - 8 - years of his elected service he sponsored over 820 bills. He introduced:

233 regarding healthcare reform,

125 on poverty and public assistance,

112 crime fighting bills,

97 economic bills,

60 human rights and anti-discrimination bills,

21 ethics reform bills,

15 gun control,

6 veterans affairs and many others.

His first year in the U.S. Senate, he authored 152 bills and co-sponsored another 427. These included **the Coburn-Obama Government Transparency Act of 2006 - became law, **The Lugar-Obama Nuclear Non-proliferation and Conventional Weapons Threat Reduction Act, - became law, **The Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act, passed the Senate, **The 2007 Government Ethics Bill, - became law, **The Protection Against Excessive Executive Compensation Bill, In committee, and many more.


In all, since entering the U.S. Senate, Senator Obama has written 890 bills and co-sponsored another 1096.


An impressive record, for someone who supposedly has no record.

NEMO 2

ENJOY BUTTWEISER

BUNNY DOES THE GAYVN AWARDS

CHAD HUNT WAS ON HAND SERVING SOME TANTALIZING MEAT AND CHEESE APPETIZERS!



I recently hosted the GAYVN video awards in San Francisco. I've never been a fan of adult films, but I gather that these awards are the Oscars of porn and hey, I like to work. The AVYN awards represent the much larger straight branch of the industry, and their ceremony is broadcast each year on Showtime. So I was told by the new producer, who was called in at the last minute to salvage the event after the gay in charge was fired after a few too many meth-takes.

At the previous years awards, Kathy Griffin had hosted and there was a record turn-out. This year, Sirius OUTQ personalities Derek and Romaine were chosen as emcees and I was enlisted to do a couple of comedy spots to break up the long lists of categories which can monotonize any awards show.

Well, there was a vicious backlash from the gay blogosphere towards Derek and Romaine's selection. I felt sorry for them, since not only is their predecessor Kathy very funny, she's also the numero uno fad hag comedienne on the planet right now. Even the brilliant Margaret Cho would have been a let down to these queens. To make 2007 even more climactic, Kathy had included footage from the awards on her Bravo reality show. But the event couldn't re-hire Ms. Griffin since her high appearance fee had bankrupted the GAYVNs.

Naturally, I was horrified to have everyone find out that my fee is considerably more affordable than Kathy's. Kidding! Then the day I arrived in San Fran-crisco, a report came out that Kathy, miffed that she hadn't been re-hired for this years GAYVN's, had snubbed the awards by accepting a gig at The Castro Theater to benefit some local bears association.

Faggots, please! Do you really think that one of the nation's top comediennes is gonna be so petty and spiteful that in between sell-out shows nationwide and huge straight events like co-hosting New Years Eve with Anderson Cooper for CNN--ok, maybe not the best example of a straight gig--is gonna take the time to see which annual event doesn't re-hire her and then plot the revenge with a competing gig in the same city? She has a life--maybe someone else needs to get one? Or maybe I just don't know Kathy and she is that hainty.

The day of the show, I had brunch with an industry insider who really gave me the low-down on some of the down-and-dirty behind the scenes he-nanigans. Then at sound-check, the new producer mentioned something about hoping for some ticket sales and I got increasingly nervous that a bunch of Kathy-loving bitter queens were ready to boo Derek, Romaine and I off the fucking stage no matter what we did! If they weren't boycotting the event completely! I kept thinking in the back of my mind that I was the gayest city in the country--surely there would be oodles of gay porn fans who would be delighted to mix and mingle with their fav studly "stars". I mean, should the event be more about the host than the awardees? I don't think so.

By the time I arrived at the Gift Center, there were only a handful of fans there. Well, booze is one sure-fire way to calm one's nerves. Seeing the always fun Sister Roma (of The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence) on the red carpet was another. So I headed to my dressing room and proceeded to get tanked. Suddenly, it was show time!

DIRECTOR/SLUT CHI CHI LARUE AND PORN HUNK JAKE DECKART



I performed one of my lip-synch parody medleys and the crowd seemed to enjoy it. Chi Chi and I had some bitchy banter during which I asked the portly diva to stand up--if she was physically able to--and take a bow. So far so good, and the crowd seemed to warm up to Derek and Romaine. Bumping into the super-sweet and cute (and short!) Tiger Tyson, Michael Lucas, Chad Hunt, Barrett Long, LA's Jazmine and Andrew Scott was also fun. Oh, and Aiden and Jordan Gerrick, with whom I appear in ANOTHER GAY SEQUEL: GAYS GONE WILD.

HI, TIGER! HE DIDN'T LOOK SO SHORT WHEN I WAS ON MY KNEES!



ROMAINE, JORDAN GERRICK, A DRUNKEN HOG, AIDEN GERRICK, AND DEREK HARTLEY



Cocktails flowing, I soon felt comfortable enough to orally fluff two young white twinks backstage so that they could make the most of their assets during their skin-baring presentation. For the most part, however, the stars were all gussied up. I expected the affair to be much trashier. I mean, when you're receiving an award for how many poundings your asshole can take, why wear anything at all? Much less a suit jacket? But these days, everyone dreams of their VIP red carpet moments.



I was shocked to see Armistead Maupin there, but apparently his very hunky boyfriend directs porn: might I suggest a collaboration between the two called TAILS OF THE CITY? Or SHITTY? I also bumped into Buck Angel and while I struggled to find words to describe him to a video camera which was aimed at us, he offered his own succinct intro: "I'm the man with the pussy." I actually had dinner with Buck and his girlfriend a few months ago and he is very cool people. I still can't imagine masturbating while watching a man's vagina, but then again, there isn't a terribly huge market for mature, overweight transvestites who look like a cross between Barbara Eden, The Nanny's mom, and Chris Farley, either!

With the help of a few industry insiders, I got the "goods" on a handful of well-known porn stars and incorporated them into a pre-recorded Laugh-In style roast. Now I admit to being on the verge of a black-out, but I do recall sufficient applause to warrant me snarling jokingly after the number, "Kathy Grithin who?" By that point, my large Charo wig had slid back on my head to where I may have resembled Kathy a little bit--she loves those short bangs, doesn't she? Someone posted a comment warning me "Don't mess with Kathy! Remember what happened to Scott Thompson?" Actually, I don't remember, but I think Kathy would certainly not begrudge a slight tease from a fellow performer.

I missed the after-party, but I'm told that revelers were treated to the site of a huge black cock swing near the doorway. Too bad it was just the black cock feathers on Sister Roma's elaborate headdress. Honey, you know you're in San Francisco when you are getting sucked off by a nun in clown make-up and a feathered chapeau!

Most of the post reviews have been favorable to me. I did like one which described me as an "over-the-hill hillbilly". Here's an excerpt from one of my fav write-ups by Danile Kusner of the Dallas Voice:

POSTCARD FROM THE PORN OSCARS

The red carpet entrances were mouthwatering — a sea of camera-ready hunks, twinks and the godfathers of gay porn.

In the cocktail lounge, “Tales of the City” author Armistead Maupin held court with trans-superstar Buck Angel, who’s featured in Maupin’s latest, “Michael Tolliver Lives.”

Guests made their way to tables that were overflowing with swag: countless bottles of personal lube and DVDs. The festivities began with an invocation from director Chi Chi LaRue. And then Lady Bunny took the stage with a hilarious musical mashup that made fun of Whitney Houston (“the lesbian crack whore”) and transformed the song “All that Jazz” to “All that Jizz.”

As the evening continued, Bunny got drunker, filthier and funnier.

Santana and Parker announced three categories, but Santana only went home with one statue — for Best Threesome: “Just Add Water.” In his acceptance speech, Santana thanked former Dallasite and Jet Set honcho Chris Steele.

Raging Stallion’s “Grunts” swept the major categories, including Best Picture, Best Direction and Best Sex Scene. The ceremony was impressively paced. Hardly any acceptance speeches lasted more than one minute (although many included the F word).

Lady Bunny closed the awards in style, calling all the nominees “sluts!” and then spitting her gum out at the crowd.


And here's my porn star "roast", if you care to see it!

JAPANESE "WE ARE THE WORLD"

The Cyndi Lauper really nails it!

BETTY WHITE ON CRAIG FERGUSON

HILARIOUS!

THE REAL WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY

BY CHIP DUCKETT:

In the precious "he was an intellectual conservative who passed away" obituaries that appeared today, no one seems to want to say that he advocated mandatory TATTOOING of people who were HIV positive in the 80's. MANDATORY.

He wanted to FORCE everyone who was HIV+ to be tattooed, so the general public would be able to easily identify --- thanks to those tattoos --- just who was "infected" and "dangerous." The Good People could run and hide! The esteemed William F. Buckley advocated forced, permanent physical markings for people who were HIV+.



Nazi Germany's yellow stars and pink triangles, anyone? Not really...those stars and triangles the Nazis instigated were sewn onto clothes. Clothes can be discarded. The esteemed Mr. Buckley demanded permanent markings on people's flesh.

Why is this important so many years later? Because he was so socially connected back then with politicians, media figures, and NYC's high society in the 80's that his horrifying views were given credence. And were seriously discussed. When people were frightened they looked for help from people they trusted.

And before anyone tries to say that people were ignorant then, and that we've all learned better in the interim, here comes Adolf Buckley in 2005 (in the National Review) boasting about having come up with the idea and suggesting it should still be implemented --- even making fun of the Concentration Camp connection. Har de har, Nazis! Heehee, Buchenwald jokes! (http://www.nationalreview.com/buckley/wfb200502191155.asp)

I'm proud to say I was the one in ACT-UP who delivered his home address for picketing purposes back in the day. And I'm happy to realize that his neo-Nazi ideas were perceived as so stupid in 2005 that no one noticed when he said them then, or even remembers them now.

In the downtown NYC world in which I live, people often say how awful it is that "The Old New York Is Dying." Sometimes it isn't so awful. Some parts of The Old New York were really, really shitty. What do you do when you find yourself in the room with something so shitty? I don't know about you, but I happily flush the toilet.

Mr. Buckley wanted to FORCIBLY tattoo everyone who was HIV+ back in the 80's. He STILL wanted to 20 years later. One word for that: Fascist. Who gives a fuck about his magazine, or his fashion-plate society wife and her friends, or his upper-crust, erudite way with words? Hey, Mussolini made the trains run on time, and Hitler could paint a nice picture, I've heard.

He made his legacy.

He made his epitaph, too: RIP, Asshole.

Chip Duckett

PS: Don't forget to flush the toilet.

GLAMOUR GIRLS!

My favorite shutterbug Patrick McMullan has a new book out called Glamour Girls and I'm delighted to be included in it. Especially with Sean Combs' mama, Janice! My wig is by Chris March (now of Project Runway fame and my dress (which I wish I could still fit into!) is by Mr. David aka Miss Glamamore. The pic was snapped at Bergdorf Goodman in 2003.

SPRING IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER...

SO IT"S TIME FOR US ALL TO GET BACK IN SHAPE! Here's a simple exercise that oughta do the trick!

THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND

DAWN FRENCH: IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME

GRACE: NIPPLE TO THE BOTTLE

Michey Mouse ears?

NEW XXL DUREX AD

SEXERCISE?!?

I can't believe that Bridget Jones is doing a tribute to the music of Millie Jackson, one of my favorite recording artists of all time! Millie also happens to be the artist formerly known as Girlina's real life aunt! Kenny Mellman (the Herb half of Kiki and Herb) will serve as musical director for the Joe's Pub performance.



If Bridget and Kenny recreate Millie's tunes as faithfully as they do her album cover, this should be nuts! One show left (2/26) with after-party to follow. Sexercise is a tune so rotten that even I covered at the Pyramid in the '80's. Millie's sassy delivery has made her a favorite of drag queens. Who could forget her half-hour medley of IF LOVIN' YOU IS WRONG from the genius album CAUGHT UP, which featured Millie in a spider web?



CAUGHT UP features not only brilliant cover art, but truly stellar brass arrangements, I imagine by the famed Muscle Shoals horn section which played on DUSTY IN MEMPHIS and countless other soul classics. The dramatic stops in this masterpiece DEFINE show biz!




JUSTIN BOND'S MIDWINTER TRANSFEST WITH SPECIAL GUESTS AT PS 122 FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS!



ALSO ON THE BOARDS AT THE CUTTING ROOM, RHE DEMENTED COMIC GENIUS DINA MARTINA RETURNS IN "OFF THE CHARTS"! DO NOT MISS IT! 2/22-3/9

DINA TICKET INFO



In other drag news, I enjoyed this catty interview between Bianca Del Rio and Shequida Ryzell de la Nuit which is HX's current cover story. An excerpt:



What's your co-host's type?

Bianca: Any man who enjoys a challenge and stubble at 4am after her show.
Shequida: Muscular, sexy and well-hung. She has never had that, but Middle Eastern cab drivers will do.

What's your co-host's most redeeming quality?

Bianca: That she's a historic drag pioneer who has paved the way for many other useless entertainers.
Shequida: Okay, that's a trick question, right?

Which ingredients would go in a cocktail named after your co-host?

Bianca: Schnapps and Dr. Pepper—fizzy with a gross aftertaste, and cheap like her.
Shequida: Vodka, Febreze and smelling salts. You'll need it to recover from her body odor.

MORE HATEFULNESS

FANTASTIC SETS!

But I have no clue what this is!

JAN BRADY'S WIG: THE" CARRIE" EDIT

GOP POLLS ON FEMALE/BLACK ATTACKS

From POTICO.COM VIA HUFFPO:

They are more worried about Obama than Clinton. I guess in the interest of sensitivity, Republican strategists have ruled out the use of the Confederate flag and the word "nigger".

“You can’t run against Barack Obama the way you could run against Bill Clinton, Al Gore or John Kerry,” said Jack Kemp, the 1996 GOP vice presidential nominee, who expressed concern that the party could be reduced to an “all white country club party” if it does not tread cautiously.

MORE

1966 BOLLYWOOD!

MORE PENTECOSTAL MADNESS

If my church services had been this hysterical growing up, I might be a preacher by now! I'm sure that this kind of spiritual seizure would have been interpreted as witchcraft by the Puritans! But what really drives me wild is that even though this speaking in tongues is a christian thing, to me it has a distinctly muslim sound. I would have to hear a linguist analyze this mess.

10 TRUTHS

10 Truths Black and Hispanic people know but white people wont admit

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller.
8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 Truths White and Black People know but hispanic people wont admit

1. Hickeys are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
7. 'Jump out and run' is not in any insurance policies.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami & Papi cant possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 Truths white and Hispanic people know but black people wont admit

1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth shouldnt be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesnt know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

DAISY DALTON MEMORIAL

Daisy Dalton was one of the first drag queens I ever saw perform. I was sneaking into Chattanooga's Go-Go Club by age 13, and Daisy was a headliner who always tore the house down with her lip-synch rendition of Connie Vannett's The Pussycat Song, a southern drag classic which was a staple of not only Daisy's act, but even The Bitch of The South, Mr. Charlie Brown. I also recorded a dance version of it for the album GOD SHAVE THE QUEEN and thanked Daisy in the liner notes for turning me onto the song.

Augmenting her own hair with a long brown atop her head and and favoring a crushed burgundy velvet jumpsuit with boots, Daisy-kins wasn't the prettiest queen, but she had a unique fishy sass that made her animated version of the song a definitive one. And lordy, those tips flew whenever she did her trademark number! I honestly can't remember her other "hits", though she may have also done Yvonne Fair's IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME. She was quite magic, and stood out even among the other stars of the club like Tasha Khan and Mr. Della Reese.

I got the chance to chat with her through a mutual myspace friend and thanked her profusely for her early inspiration to me. I guess she saw me as a local girl who had made it (even though Lady Bunny came to life in Atlanta after I left Chatta-boogie) so she seemed genuinely delighted to hear from me. She'd been ill for a while, and when she died a few weeks ago, her family tried to hush things up so that their son's funeral wouldn't turn into a gay bar freak show. So tonight, trumping the Oscars, Chattanooga's leading gay bar held a memorial for one of it's leading "ladies". Girl, thanks again for your magic and I hope that the local girls put on an amazing show in your honor.

AMSTERDAM'S RED LIGHT DIMMING

Interesting article on Amsterdam's declining prostitution district from the NY TIMES.

AMSTERDAM — Some of the most visited brothels in Amsterdam’s red-light district have gained unexpected new neighbors.

For years, the brothels’ large street-side windows have showcased women of all races, wearing minute bits of clothing as they preened and beckoned customers. But in some windows, women have recently been replaced by plastic mannequins in designer clothes.

MORE

LYPSINKA'S 1ST BOOK REVIEW IN WASHPO

Go on, gurl! It's for a new book on Joan Crawford.

WASHPO

THE ASS SHOT

For a couple of years I've seen this guy snapping pix with various scenesters next to his juicy booty. He snapped me at Mr. Black one night when I was dj'ing.

PURCHASE INFO



(I wish he'd used the tag line "WHO KNOWS WHY BUTT IT WORKS". Butt that's just me.)

DON'T GO IN ZE VATER!

RARE BARBARA EDEN FOOTAGE

She's the last blonde with short hair in this odd series of clips. Looks like the 1950's, a decade before JEANNIE!

CUTE GUINNESS AD

MINNIE: "LOVIN' YOU"

Live, sung with a fan and some of those extra super-high notes thrown in!

PATTI: OVER THE RAINBOW

Definitely one of her best renditions.

PS: I will not mention the balding Bozo hair and indescribably hideous gown!

SUNDAY NIGHT!

DOLLY INSERTS "DRAG QUEEN" INTO JOLENE!

Such a great song!

CRAZY TRANS BRAWL

PHONE SEX GRANDMA

The real life Jerri Blank! "Am I right or am I right?"

ZOMBIE KILLER

Lesly and the Lys new video with a vocal introduction by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. How sick is it that Leslie pronounces zombie "zombay"?

HOLY GHOST EXPLOSION

This had me howling!

WHORE-MONICA SUNBEAM'S 10TH ANNIVERSARY

One of the funniest queens in NY is celebrating her 10th anniversary of performances at Escuelita's Sunday tea dance. Check her out, with plenty of guest stars. I think the show starts at 9:00.

DADDY FOOL

AKA DADDY COOL by euro-disco sensation Boney M. I never cared for this group's nursery rhyme hits like BROWN GIRL IN THE RING, but I will admit to loving the notion of a dance song about Rasputin with the lyrics:

"Rah rah Rasputin
Lover of the Russian Queen
He was a cat who really was gone.

Rah Rah Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on."

Or something like that. Anyhoo, check out the guy's dance moves in this clip. Elastic spastic!



And here's RASPUTIN, a video which starts off with the group arriving in Russia in furs being shot by fur-clad paparazzi! Ill! I have to admit that the gypsy-esque string line and chant are original. Retarded, but original.

"NOT ANOTHER WIG!"

SOMEONE PLEASE CAPTION THIS!

TABBOO!'s BACK ON THE BOARDS

Catch her star-studded new revue at the Gene Frankel Theatre in March! Her last show only lasted two nigths but many of the same people attended both performances! This extravaganza is gearing up to be even grander with new school performers like Brandon Oleson, old school gals like Flotilla Debarge and true classics like the brilliant Agosto Machado, who was a regularly featured (and scene-stealing) cast member of Ethyl Eichelberger's zany productions. And new music from Lady Kier!!!!

(CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE FOR SHOW INFO)

BASSEY IN HOT PANTS!

SINGING LOVE IS IN THE AIR (a dreadful version) and COPA CABANA in showgirl costume! Kevin Aviance lipsynched to the latter occasionally! WATCH

I GET EVERYTHING BUT THE HIGH TOPS!

Not the most typically feminine shoes.

BUNNY/BOLLYWOOD

Insane video from WFMU's blog.

HAPPY VD DAY!

Frequent blog visitor Tommy was kind enough to forward this romantic post from Craig's List to me:


>> Make a Bloody Mary Up My Asshole - Serious, Make the CocktailReply to: pers-573054489@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-02-13, 3:53PM
>> I have all of the ingredients here for a bloody mary. I want you to shove the following up my ass: Tabasco sauce, Worcestershire sauce, lemon, celery salt, black pepper, horseradish, and tomato juice (I have an enema hose to get it all in). I will them shit it out into a tall glass filled with ice and a celery stalk.
>>
>> Please - no weirdos, druggies or Mike Huckabee supporters.

DADDY LONG-LEGS

A father watched his young daughter playing in the
garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and
pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing
the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He
went over to her to see what work of God had captured
her attention. He noticed she was looking at two
spiders mating.

Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.

'They're mating,' her father replied.

'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.

'That's a Daddy Long-legs,' her father answered.

'So, the other one is a Mommy Long-legs?' the little
girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and
innocent question, he replied 'No dear. Both of them
are Daddy Long-legs.'

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for
a moment, Then took her foot and stomped them flat and
said, 'Well, we're not having any of that
Broke back-Mountain shit in our garden.'

IT'S MCBRITNEY, BITCH!

NEW CELL PHONE LAW

IN EFFECT TODAY!



According to a proposed new law that would go into effect Jan 1, 2008 you will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a 'hands free' adapter. I went to Circuit City and they wanted $50 for a headset with a microphone for my cell phone. Having a friend in the cell phone business, I talked with him and was able to come up with an alternative, working through Office Depot.

These kits are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all. I paid him $0.08 each because he bought in quantity. Then we tried it with Motorola, Sprint, Verizon and Nokia units and they worked perfectly.

A photo is attached so scroll down & take a look and let me know if you want one. Also, forward this to anyone you know, who has a cell phone, and who may want one!

THOSE KINKY JAPANESE!

OR YOU CAN PURCHASE YOUR VERY OWN AMPUTEE SEX DOLL--WITH OR WITHOUT SPECTACLES!

NAKED DANCING MAN COOKS WILD MUSHROOMS!

FROM YOUTUBE:

UPDATED(1/31)This is possibly the most disturbing thing I've seen on the Interweb. I'm sorry for inflicting this upon all of you.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: The mushroom in this video looks like Amanita muscaria, which are very poisonous! Don't ever try this at home, people. Picking and eating random wild mushrooms MIGHT KILL YOU.

After a rigorous session of super-sleuthing, I was able to find out more about this guy. It seems that he is a performance artist from Japan that goes by the name of 'wotaken.' Here's his home page: http://katura.is.land.to/index.html

I'M IN LOVE!

DISCO TEA THIS SUNDAY!

GET OUT AND BOOGIE!

GEORGE MICHAEL LAMPOONS HIMSELF

TASTISKANK: THE SEX SONG

THE POOP ON TYRA!

DLISTED,COM

NEW 2008 TAX CODE

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around
unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is
pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has
two dependents and they are both nuts!

HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2008, the penis will now be taxed
according to size:

The brackets are as follows:

10 - 12" Luxury Tax $300.00
8 - 10" Pole Tax $250.00
5 - 8" Privilege Tax $150.00
3 - 5" Nuisance Tax $30.00

Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains.

Anyone under 4" is eligible for a tax refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

JOBCENTRE WOMAN

Hilarious!

LET'S ALL CHANT

The clarinet/clavinet solo drives me insane! For that baroque disco flair!

MMMMMMM....

AN IRISH LAD COMES OUT TO MOM...

And his mom played by the genius british comedienne Catherine Tate!

THINK YOU'VE GOT BALLS?

DO YOUR NUTS HANG LOW
DO THEY WOBBLE TO AND FRO

Christ, you won't see this on the National Geographic Channel! Stupefying!

ZIPPYVIDEOS.COM

HUNGH?

NANCY: BOOTS

I always thought Nancy was stunning and so cool and sexy. But as I grew up, I guess others thought she was a big show biz joke and not attractive. Not that I'm a great judge of babes, but did straight guys wanna fuck her? I love her bad girl image.

MUSLIM PUSSY!

YOU




HAVE




TO




SEE




TO





BELIEVE!

SMOKE ON THE WATER

In Japanese!

GMHC PRESENTS

If you are as frightened of that severe new strain of staph which is hitting gyms and sex clubs, promiscuous people--hell--even my sister's kids' school in a Philly suburb sent out a warning about it--you may wanna attend this free GMHC forum. Or at least google it and read reports from it. A friend's face swelled up like a basketball after contracting it from a houseguest who used his nose hair clippers!

A Community Forum on MRSA: What We All Need to Know

Tuesday, February 5, 2008 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm GMHC The Tisch Building 119 West 24th Street – 12th floor New York, NY

A drug-resistant bacteria MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) which is a skin infection occurring in persons of all genders, races, ages and sexual orientations, has been found among gay men, and other men who have sex with men in New York City, San Francisco and Boston.

Learn more about the effects of MRSA on gay men and our communities overall in New York City and what we can do. This forum is free and open to the general public.

Guest speakers:

Bill Stackhouse, PhD, Institute for Gay Men’s Health, GMHC

Melissa A. Marx, PhD, MPH, Epidemiologist & Director, Antibiotic Resistance Unit, Bureau of Communicable Disease, New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene

Duane Smith, MD, Clinical Director—Rogers Unit, Center for Special Studies, New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell

For more information, please contact the GMHC Hotline at 1-800-243-7692 or visit www.gmhc.org


And while we're on the subject of health, I was in Atlanta this weekend and read an interesting article in the gay mag Southern Voice which delves into drug interaction precautions. The kind which probably caused Heath Ledger to die. I'm guilty of mixing self-prescribed drugs myself, so this really caught my. It gives some useful examples of interaction precautions which I was not aware of, so maybe you'll find them helpful too. I knew that you shouldn't mix Viagra and poppers, but I had no clue that St. John's Wort (an herb used to treat depression) affects HIV medications or that ecstacy and cocaine used together can traumatize the heart.

Here's a teaser:

Whether they’re taking club drugs, HIV medications or sleeping pills, a good number of gay men fancy themselves as at-home pharmacologists. In smaller doses, drug use indeed equips a person with a certain knowledge of how a substance interacts with his or her body, said Petros Levounis, director of the Addiction Institute of New York.

But the confidence that comes from casual drug use can leave people unaware of, and unprepared for, the potentially dangerous ways different chemicals are processed in their body simultaneously, Levounis said.
“The biggest thing we’re seeing is the issue of synergy,” Levounis said, describing instances of one drug plus another drug equaling the effects of three.

READ THE REST: SOTHERNVOICE.COM

LOOKY LOOKY!

GOLDEN GIRLS GONE WILD

Some fun pics from an LA gallery opening. Here's a teaser:



LAIST.COM

ALWAYS FLUSH BEFORE YOU SNAP!

ANAL BLEACHING W/ RANDOLPH MANTOOTH

THE EXORCISM OF BRITNEY BY MIKE HUCKABEE

LAWANDA FOR CHURCH'S CHICKEN

I think these two ads ran in Texas, maybe elsewhere.



THis one is not nearly as good, but her delivery is so flawless that you hardly care!

PEANUT BUTTER PUSSY

LAWANDA PAGE IN SHAKES THE CLOWN. This whole movie, which also features the delightful Florence "Mrs. Brady" Henderson in a water sports scene with an alcoholic clown played by Bobcat Goldthwai, is a hoot.

WATCH A CUTE DUTCH BOY GET PIERCED

I could not watch it all the way through!