BOLLYWOOD'S VERSION OF THRILLER

A hoot! YOUTUBE

UK'S CRAPPY TRAIN SERVICE

Before you "digest" this article, you may enjoy watching The Beat Boxing Turd.

FROM THE GUARDIAN:

Transport police are hunting for an "exceptionally antisocial" man who has been defecating on trains across the country, causing tens of thousands of pounds-worth of damage.

The vandal, who strikes by smearing excrement inside the carriages, appears to wait until he is alone before committing the offence but investigators can discern no other pattern to his behaviour. Police say the man has soiled at least 30 trains since August, mainly in the south-east.

His foul play has caused a total of £60,000 worth of damage and cleaning bills, while some affected carriages have had to be withdrawn from service.

British Transport Police today warned that the man's unpleasant and costly habit also posed a risk to public health, and released CCTV images of a man officers want to speak to in connection with the investigation.

Detective Constable Donna Fox said: "The man has struck at least 30 trains since August, causing approximately £60,000 in damage and cleaning costs and resulting in many carriages been taken out of service, causing disruption and cancellations to the train services and serious inconvenience to the travelling public.

"This is obviously a serious public health issue as well as being exceptionally anti-social. We need to locate this man as soon as possible."

She added: "There is no particular pattern as to when he appears. He travels to various areas and at different times of the day and different days of the week and basically waits to be in part of a carriage by himself before he commits these offences.

"We have been trawling through CCTV images to try and track the man and remain hopeful that members of the public may know this man and more importantly know where he lives.

"On at least one occasion CCTV footage shows the man being disturbed by a passenger walking through a train. We are appealing for this man or anyone else who may have witnessed this man committing offences to contact us.

"If anyone sees this man travelling on the railway network, they should not approach him, but call the police or alert train staff immediately."

· Anyone with information should call the British Transport Police witness appeal line on 020 7391 5275

PETA-APPROVED FUR COAT

A must-see! BITOFFUN.COM

THE LYP'S GONE LEGIT!

If you're in the NYC area and wanna check out a funny new play penned by John Epperson (aka Lypsinka), it'd been extended! An excerpt from a NY BLADE review:

Smart, Campy Delight, ‘My Deah’ Is no Drag
‘Lypsinka’ creator pens southern-fried play

By JONATHAN WARMAN
Monday, October 30, 2006



Now he’s done it. John Epperson, the artist better known as Lypsinka, has gone and written a stage play, a hilarious southern-fried adaptation of Euripides’ "Medea" at that. It’s not that he hasn’t written dramatic material before: His bio lists him as the author of two stage musicals and a screenplay, and his famous lip-synch collages have always had some kind of narrative (albeit a psychotically surreal one).

"My Deah," however, launches the Lyp into the world of fully fledged queer theater, a new area for him. In his program notes, Epperson acknowledges consciously following the model of legendary Charles Ludlam, the wild creative force behind the Ridiculous Theatrical Company. "My Deah," more than lives up to Ludlam’s legacy, combining screamingly funny campiness with shameless theatricality and gripping intelligence.

MORE: NEWYORKBLADE

WORSHIP ANN MILLER NOW!

ANN MILLER AS CHER (Atually this is famed Australian tranny performer Candi Stratton, but it's Hallowqueen and I'm feeling tricky!)



In a 1970 soup commercial choreorgraphed by Busby Berkley when Ann was 47!

YOUTUBE

CACKLE!

DON'T FUCK WITH THE PUMPKINS!


FUCK HALLOWE'EN!


AND OF COURSE, AS ALWAYS...

BORAT ON TODAY SHOW

HUFFPO

OLD BAG VS OLD BAG W/ BAGS

Ruth Buzzi never knew!

FILECABI.NET

A REAL SCREAM!

Just in time for Hallowe'en! Hee hee!

EVILDADPOORKID

HAROLD FORD WANTS TO RAPE ME!

Well, who doesn't. And it's tough to rape someone as willing as I am. Anyhoo...


Have politics always been this nasty or I am just more in tune with it now? Or both? I know that republicans really can't do much bragging about their current record, so they're blasting democratic candidates with personal attacks full of lies. Rush Limbaugh even claimed that Michael J. Fox was faking his Parkinson's disease shakes in an ad for Missouri democrat Clare MacCaskell. I will admit that I hadn't realized that Michael's condition was so intense. He was really movin'! Maybe they should have put some peppy music underneath the ad and it would've seemed more natural. Like SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROLL, perhaps? A talented, well-loved actor, I hope that his condition hasn't cost him roles. If so, I bet he could still do a mean Katherine Hepburn impersonation! But the sad thing is that while these ads are universally slammed as over the top, by constantly discussing them on the news (which includes airing them), the inappropriate or outlandish or inaccurate ads reach a wider national audience, even after they've been yanked locally for being tasteless. It's free advertising. The national republican party pays for them so that when they are pulled, the local republican candidate can distance him/herself from the ads' backlash. What a rotten, rotten game.

THE NATION'S SEXIEST SENATORIAL CANDIDATE, HAROLD FORD



I'm particularly interested in the anti-Harold Ford in Tennessee ad for a few reasons. This man is even more gorgeous than Bareback Obama and I secretly fantasize about seeing them tag-team it as pres and VP in the White House. Hell, I also fantasize nightly about them tag-teaming it as skull-fucker and ass-rammer at MY house! (Or rather, my apartment. Yes, I'm still renting!) Also, I grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee and though I was glad to get out, I retain a passing interest in their local politics. (It's all about passing, gurl!)

Of course I want the democrats to win, but I'm certainly not aligned with Harold's platform. In a necessary if disgusting attempt to siphon the evangelical vote away from his opponent, Bob Korker, he's made faith (ie: fairy tales) a central issue in his campaign. Listen to this garbage he spewed at an Alabama stadium recently: "I serve a big God"--Honey, I serve a big god too, whenever possible!--"he gives me strength every day, and I go to work. I am not that smart. I don't try to outsmart him. I just go to work every day." Just what this country needs: a hick who takes strength from a mythical figure and admits that he's not that smart. Hey, sounds like presidential material to me. Oh well, I guess you win points by telling the contents of an Alabama stadium that you aren't smart. Duh, he's like me. I'll vote for him. Worked for that moron Bush.

I also don't approve of a Ford ad which plays the class card and mentions Korker's growing fortune. Like the disapproval of Teresa Kerry's millions, who cares how much money somebody has if it's honestly come by? And how can anyone run in our corrupt system without the millions in campaign finances which one needs to spin to win? I guess Harold's peeps are trying to paint Korker as rich and therefore out of touch with economic malaise. It's a shitty tactic.

But not as shitty as Korker's ad--what a corker! Wal-mart has even fired one of the ad's producer as a result. Another producer is a Rove protege. From cbsnews.com:

"The ad, in which a white woman with blonde hair and bare shoulders looks into the camera and whispers, "Harold, call me," and then winks, was produced by Scott Howell, the former political director for Rove's consulting firm in Texas.

The RNC ad doesn't mention that "Harold" is black, but the NAACP and others have complained the commercial makes an implicit appeal to deep-seated racial fears about black men and white women."


"Deep-seated" as in "all up in yo bootay" deep-seated? As a white woman I share these fears in reverse--that I WON'T get any black men to seduce me. (Seduce means stick your dick through a hole in a men's room at the bus station, right?) But Harold is so light-skinned that black barely applies to him. Not to mention that his southern accent is more honkified than even the reptilian blactress Jasmine Guy as Whitley on A DIFFERENT WORLD. Anyway, this ad was yanked, only to be replaced by one which claims that he wants to give abortion pills to schoolchildren. How horrid! Even to the boys? Is there any estrogen in them? Where can I find out?

HAROLD, SHOWN HERE PROBABLY THINKING: "I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT LADY BUNNY'S CUNT!"



Sorry! Side-tracked again! As a former Tennesseean, I really don't believe that fears of interracial couples are still that strong. I wasn't raised to be be racist, so maybe I'm just blind to it. I mentioned the ad to a straight , while male friend and he agreed that there was a fear of black men taking their white women away from them. In this day and age? I guess I don't worry enough about who gets the white (or any other color) pussy to have this fear register as widespread. And speaking of a wide spread...



Queen Latifah, in a telling interview she gave to a California lesbian magazine--yes, LA is that boring that I sometimes read dyke rags--claimed that there was a fear among the powers that be (ie: straight white men) of "big black dicks swinging". Does that include the giant dildo that butch uses on her female lovers? Craving them as I do, I just can't fathom any paranoia surrounding black donkey dicks. Maybe I'm out of touch. (I also happen to be out of Magnums XL and lube!) But could Queen be right in that the negro's superior endowments be the primordial "root" of anti-black prejudice? Perhaps so, and some weird survival instinct just kicked in with me that subconsciously said "Girl, if you can't beat 'em, EAT 'EM!"

So hard to focus on politics when penis size is woven into the issue at hand. In hand? In mouth? In ass? Shoot, there I go again! What I find so ridiculous is the lookist angle of the ad, which claims "Sure, he looks good", as if a pretty boy candidate is coasting on his looks, never did his homework and might be a promiscuous playboy and therefore too unethical to vote for. This is a really cheap, low blow.

I actually don't know Ford's marital status, but I have a suggestion should he win his term as the first black Senator elected since the Reconstruction. What if he were to settle down with a stunning, if mature showgirl who'd seduced the entire world with her amazing talents but who has roots in Tennessee to sort of tie it all in. I'd add a little glitz and glamor to his homespun charm, and together we'd soon ascend to the presidency as the first interracial couple to ever grace the White House! PRESIDENT HAROLD FORD AND FIRST LADY BUNNY! I know, it's a pipe dream...but what a pipe I'll bet that motherfucker has!

!

CONDOM SALES SPIKE IN SOUTH KOREA

(AP) SEOUL Condom sales and bookings at several of South Korea's pay-by-the-hour "love motels" surged in the aftermath of North Korea's nuclear test, according to statistics released Thursday.

South Koreans are used to living in the shadow of war, and life has continued as normal across the country in the wake of the Oct. 9 explosion. But statistics on the number of condoms sold in recent weeks suggest that despite their apparently blasé reaction to the North's nuclear bluster, many South Koreans may be seeking solace in sex.

A leading chain of convenience stores reported Thursday that their condom sales rose to an average of 1,930 a day in the week after Oct. 9, compared to 1,508 a day for the year to Sept. 30.

Sales of the prophylactics dropped slightly to 1,772 in the week of Oct. 16-21, but remained well above previous norms.

Another national chain said it sold 3.54 million South Korean won (US$3,721) worth of condoms a day during the week after the test — a 14.8 percent rise over last month's sales figures, and a 12 percent rise over the year to Sept. 30.

The statistics were first reported by a prominent newspaper, Chosun Ilbo, which ran a full-color graphic of a condom-shrouded missile bearing the North Korean flag.

It was impossible to know whether the increase in sales was directly linked to a heightened sense of vulnerability or stress among South Koreans.

However, the head of the Korea Institute for Sex Education, Seong Gyeong-won, said it is not uncommon for people to seek comfort in the arms of a lover during times of crisis.

"People tend to have urges to procreate in times of extreme situations," she said. "Stress is released through sex ... it's one of the top 10 reasons why sex is good for the body."

A popular online reservation site for several business hotels and South Korea's ubiquitous "love motels" — the popular term for lodgings built for clandestine rendezvous — also reported a rise in bookings in the two weeks after Oct. 9, according to the Chosun Ilbo report.

The motels are a fixture across South Korea. In one of the world's most densely populated countries, where extended families often live together, such accommodations provide a refuge for those seeking discreet intimate encounters.

But those who haven't already made their reservations will have to wait. The online system says it has no available slots until next month.

OCTOBER GENRE CLOUMN

This was orignally published in Genre and since monthly mags have 3 month lead times, some of the info isn't super-current. And a lot has happene since then. Things are looking up for the democrats after the Foley scandal's soured the nation on republicans. But believing (as I do) that the republicans largely detemine what appears on TV as news, I'm so jaded that I wouldn't doubt that newscasters are predicting landslide victories for dem's just so that democratic voters will sleep and not turn out in as high a number. Just (puff puff) paranoid, I (puff) guess... Anyhoo, here's the article:


I’ve never been one for conspiracy theories. I’m a hypochondriac momma’s “boy” and my mom’s happens to be a nurse who constantly sends me ridiculous newspaper health clippings. When I received the article entitled “Doctor questions the safety of herbal teas” I finally told her enough of the clippings. I don’t need to add herbal teas or feline “AIDS” to my terror watch list.

The list is full enough--with bombs concealed in sneakers by shoe-bomber Richard Reid… and the plastic explosives concealed in beverage containers in the "London 9/11” which is now preventing me from carrying on rubbing lotion on my gnarled claws on flights. Not to mention being banned from toting lube on board in the hopes of finally joining the Mile High Club. As if the humiliation of having to remove my shoes going through security wasn’t enough—they don’t call me Lady Bunion for nothing!

It’s hideous, but I guess we have to weigh up every conspiracy theory nowadays. I’ve even developed a few of my own. Now that everyone in the world is hooked on their stronger-than-crack espresso drinks, I’m convinced that Starbucks is cutting back on their beverages’ caffeine content. Just like a drug dealer who lures you in with the “good bag “ which they let you try and then sells you subsequent baggies of inferior quality. (Kevin Aviance assures me that this practice is quite common.) And correct me if I’m wrong, but I sniff the scented creases of every mag's perfume ad—and out of the 100’s of new fragrances in the last 10 years, there are only 2 different scents. Now I know I may be way out on a limb on this one, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Lance Bass just might be gay!

Of course we’ve all heard the insidious conspiracy theory that the government arranged 9/11. Apparently 30% of the nation now believes it. 60% of Americans are against the war. Thankfully, these statistics help balance the 50% (up from the 38% of the last Harris poll) who believe that Iraq DID have WMD. This is a real head-scratcher. No weapons have been found, and no one’s even looking, so how could believers in the fabled weapons possibly INCREASE? Uh, maybe the effect of the propaganda which masquerades as news these days? Republican newsletters? The urgings of fundamentalist preachers? Whatever the reason, one thing is clear. Tabloids chronicling Lindsay and Paris's latest exploits are booming, but we, as a nation, have largely substituted our interest in politics with our fascination with celebrity gossip. And democracy, the great principle which we’re trying to spread in Iraq with bullets, bombs, rape and torture, is a principle which cannot function without an informed electorate. Here's another little conspiracy theory for ya: maybe those education cuts are intended to keep us too stupid to analyze our misleader's diabolical actions. Example: Americans being evacuated from Lebanon were initially made to pay for their safe passage to Cyprus. This greedy, disgusting policy was dropped days later after a public outcry. I can almost imagine the Bush administration sending helicopters to hover Katrina victims and bargaining with them over their rescue fares. But If you aren't aware of the shit that the government is pulling, there will be no outcry!

Another alarming statistic comes to mind: more people voted in for the American Idol competition than for our president. I recently eavesdropped on a friend’s cell conversation as he began discussing the latest Idol scandal: so-and-so should have won that round, etc. People! Enjoy any type of entertainment you wish to, but if a fucking singing competition concerns you more than the presidential race, you’re a blasted moron! And rather than buzzing about which Idol candidate was robbed when booted off…..get ready..here comes another conspiracy theory….YOU were all robbed when Bush stole the election which put him in the White House!

And really, though she has tons of gay fans, does Kelly Clarkson dictate whether or not gays can get married? Fantasia can sing her ass off, but does she have the authority to get screaming Katrina victims off of those rooftops? Is Taylor Hicks the one who’s spending your tax dollars on an Iraqi civil war which we “won” years ago? It’s not hard to imagine that hearty-eating Ruben Studdard has gas, but is he responsible for soaring gas prices? And is Clay Aiken the guy who is “protecting” the country by enacting a Patriot Act which enables the government to spy on our phone and internet lines? (Of course, after details of Clay’s recent gay fling hit the net., he might WANT to impose more internet privacy. That way, we wouldn’t all know that she’s a top who doesn’t use a condom! I just hopes she hits a high note when she cums!)

OK, I got a little side-tracked, but the answer to my questions is no, the IDOL winners do not shape government policies. George Bush, or whichever diabolical puppet-meister who has their hand up his evil redneck ass at the moment, does. And we now have a chance to declaw his administration which is dragging our country down, not just on gay issues, but on moral issues like baseless, pre-emptive wars (stay tuned for a new one against Iran) and cow-towing to corporate interests so that the average American can’t afford insurance, declare bankruptcy, or earn a slightly higher minimum wage—well, if their job isn’t already out-sourced, that is. That chance is coming up in November with the congressional elections. I’m buoyed by Connecticutt’s peace-lovin’ candidate Ned Lamont’s Senate primary win over pro-war “democrat” Joe Liebermann. Is this a signal that, at least in Connecticutt, voters are fed up with a government which is killing our soldiers for oil and draining our finances to do it?

Maybe you’re one of those folks who voted for an Idol candidate and not a presidential one. Or maybe you voted for the president and not your state’s congressional representatives. Well, you’ve still got a little time to vote if you are registered. And if you can’t get your head out of your ditzy American Idol mode for even one second, then try pretending you’re a judge on your fav show as you vote. Imagine that you’re Paula Abdul slurring on some really good prescription drugs with Corey Clark’s load all over your face as you stagger to the poll. Or viciously diss all the Republican candidates loudly in line for the voting booth a la Simon Cowell might. Just get out there and make yourself heard!

FOXY BROWN GETS PROBATION

I just wanna know what they did her to her nails to warrant kicking AND smacking???

From aol.com:

By Stephen M. Silverman

Rapper Foxy Brown was sentenced in a New York City court on Tuesday to
three years' probation and anger management counseling for assaulting
two manicurists.

The flamboyant hip-hop star (real name: Inga Marchand), 27, originally
pleaded guilty in August to kicking and smacking employees of
Manhattan's Bloomie Nails in August 2004 - but on Tuesday attempted to
change her plea before Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Melissa C.
Jackson.

"I just feel like I was coerced. I felt rushed," Brown said of her
August plea, New York's Daily News reports.

But Jackson warned Brown she could face a year in jail if she did not
abide by her probation terms, which began immediately. Brown - toting a
Louis Vuitton bag she told the New York Post was worth $10,000 - had to
give a DNA sample in the court building.

After that, she told The New York Times, "I'm headed to the (recording)
studio. Right after the studio, I'm headed to Bible studies."

JOSMAR GERONA!

Even his back-up dancer is giggling!

YOUTUBE

IF YOU NEEDED MORE PROOF...

That Bush is a lying piece of shit, here's a damning video montage of his recent "stay the course" denial: HUFFPO

KICKING THE GAY HABIT: STOP BEING SO SARCASTIC

Wait...do you think that Paul Lynde might have been....nah!

Excerpts from this ridiculous article on an ex-gay workshop.

KICKING THE GAY HABIT: STOP BEING SO SARCASTIC

That's how the founder of a gay conversion program explained his policy on wit to Ohio State University professor Tanya Erzen.

Erzen recounts the year she spent inside the New Hope Ministry in her book "Straight to Jesus." New Hope, based in California, offered a residential program to turn gay men into "ex-gays."

While it may come as something of a revelation that sarcasm is gay, New Hope's list of banned activities has some more familiar entries. Also forbidden are tight pants, tank tops, spandex, biker pants, half shirts, short shorts, "gay terms and mannerisms," the Internet, smoking, hair coloring, going to a health club, and watching the television show "Will and Grace."

BUNNY NOTE: WOO HOO! No mention of a ban on meth, poppers or gerbils, girls! And I guess you can still play with your Billy doll. Just don't use Billy as a dildo. (Carlos is bigger and therefore more satisfying. Uh, I'm told.)

Erzen explained that ex-gay training combines evangelical teachings, psychology, self-help and a healthy dose of stereotypes.

BUNNY NOTE: I'd love to see how they combine the diametrically opposed disciplines of psychology and evangelical teachings.

"They have a very stereotypical, monolithic view of homosexuality," Erzen told The Other Paper last week. "They see gay as a lifestyle, and they try to break the link between you and everything they associate with that lifestyle."

While the list of rules is lengthy, it is not necessarily scrupulously followed.

Masturbation, for example, is banned. But, Erzen said, "Everybody there masturbates."

BUNNY NOTE: Is it still called masturbation if a man's hand is replaced by another man's mouth or asshole?

"To cultivate masculinity, New Hope encourages participants to go camping, play basketball and attend "Straight Man Nights" to study the habits of heterosexuals.

BUNNY NOTE: Culminating in a therapy session in which the fags, posing as bullies, bash each other to a bloody pulp!

Erzen said that for many of the men in the program, straight men are "of another species," and masculinity "is just unfathomable."

BUNNY NOTE: Here, here, my good queer!

Participants soaked up all the information they could, asking straight men questions ranging from the practical ("What do you say when you sexually harass a woman?") to the existential ("Can a man ever fully understand a woman?").

BUNNY NOTE: to the desperate ("Can I please suck you off one more time before I become straight like you?")

Still, some participants rebelled against the format of the classes. "There's a lot of things I could teach straight men," one said, "like how to dress.

BUNNY NOTE: ...how to dress...like a nelly fag! If there are so many benefits to being gay, why the fuck are you in this stupid-ass workshop?

CHARLIE BROWN'S GALLERY

No, not the cartoon character! "The Ultimate Bitch of The South" Mr. Charlie Brown, who you may have seen in HBO's dragtime. Her site's opening montage is a scream and Charlie fans will certainly appreciate the gallery, with Charlie showcasing her new, slimmer shape and some outrageous gowns. But I'm headed to Atlanta tonight and can't find out where she's performing--any clues? I'm there working tonight and tomorrow night but I get off early and I need my "Charlie's in Charge" fix! Check out her claws and jewelry in this pic
!

HOW TO PUT ON A BRA 101

Holly Valance shows you how: HOWTOPUTONABRA

BARNEY'S FRANK

Let a faggot read!

An excerpt: "There are fifteen year olds in this country today in high school whose lives are being made miserable because they're gay and lesbian. And people who are themselves gay adults and are enjoying positions of power in Washington who advance that kind of abusive society, no, it has nothing to do with their economics, I find that contemptible."

CROOKSANLIARS

CORNY ADULT FAIRY TALES

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.

As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."

Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"

"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"

Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly . Peter, Peter, something or other..."

___________________________________________

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

_____________________________________________

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a ..44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."

____________________________________________

MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."

Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."

___________________________________________

SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

___________________________________________

Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.

____________________________________________

One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.

"What's that?" he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."

Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"

"Just checking for bees."

OCTOBER IN PARIS

On October 20th, Bun-Bun dj'ed at the Van Cleef and Arpels 100th anniversary soiree in Paris. Held in a tent at the famous Tuileries garden, the event took 9 months to plan! When it gave birth, it was quite the do! Apparently, the day of the party, there was a run on Van Cleef's diamonds, presumably purchased for that evening's soiree! I was a long way from Chattanooga! Not be be outsparkled by the international socialites who can afford real gemstones, I ordered up a new frock festooned with rhinestones which were set uff by a platinum bouff-goes-the-bob, just for the occasion! And the size of my blinged-up ring certainly raised a few well-manicured eyebrows.

BUNNY MODELLING THE "HOPELESS" DIAMOND: VAN CLEEF AND WHO?





I was picked up by my visiting friends Sue Tilley (art model and author of the 1997 Leigh Bowery biography, THE LIFE AND TIMES OF AN ICON) and Erich Conrad (promoter of NYC's Beige and Sundays at the Maritime). Shooting the pix (since I lost mine immediately upon arriving at the party!) was my Wigstock partner/painter, Scott Lifshutz.

SCOTT "TOOK" ME FROM BEHIND WITH A RUSSIAN MOTHER/DAUGHTER SOCIALITE TEAM. I DESERVE A COUPLE POINTS JUST FOR HAULING THAT WIG OVER TO FRANCE IN GOOD CONDITION! (I DON'T THINK MANY FOLKS CARRY PLASTIC BAGS ONTO INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS CLASS SECTIONS!



The night began with a bang--the famed Lido showgirls, who dazzled the eye with whirling feathers and Vegas-y music which sounded like it was written 30 years ago--ie it was good music! An how can you lose with these outfits?



NOTHING QUITE SO IMAGINATIVE AS A RHINESTONED DUNCE CAP WITH A FREE-FROM LUCITE TIARA SPIRALLING AROUND IT!



AND A LUCITE VISOR TRIMMED IN RHINESTONES, WITH A MATCHING BIB? HEAVEN!



MY FREINDS MARTIN AND DIVA AVARI JOINED US. AVARI IS ONE OF MIZERY'S DRAG CHILDREN FROM BOSTON, BUT MOVED TO PARIS TO PURSUE A SINGING CAREER. AFTER A MINOR CLUB HIT 3 YEARS AGO CALLED YOU FUCKING BITCH, SHE'S NOW PROVED HERSELF AS A SINGER WITH A COVER OF YAZOO'S DON'T, WHICH HIT #2 ON THE FRENCH POP CHARTS RECENTLY.



After my gig was over, I moved in with Scott and Erich at a very unusual apartment on the Ile de la Cite which Scott inherited. It was the maid's quarter on the top floor of a home built by Louis Le Vau, the "architecte du Roi" who built the famous Hotel Lambert. (Yeah, I know. I hadn't heard of it either!) My bedroom had a view of the Seine river which was, well, just inseine!

I spent the rest of my 5 days unsucessfully avoiding delectable french desserts, though we did go out one night to B, B et B. This was a gay arab disco where they supposedly played arab house music. Unfortunately, they had switched to that vile reggaeton which I hate. The Folies Pigalle, where the night is held, is where Edith Piaf got her start. I wonder if she'd enjoy reggaeton?



THE SLUT ERICH MEETS UP WITH HIS FRIEND/BEIGE BARTENDER FALCON STAR GREG OF ALL PEOPLE!



It was the last night of Ramadan, so our sexy, exotic (Algerian/French?) guide Mehdi, wasn't sure if the place would be busy or not. But it was packed to the rafters and Bun-Bun was yanked up onstage to judge a strip/dance constest.



AND TO MY DISBELIEF, LARRY TEE WAS THE EMCEE! ACTAULLY HIS NAME IS FOUAD, BUT THERE IS A SLIGHT RESEMBLANCE.



Here are my fellow judges. Proving that shade is international, the gorgeous one in red, who could easily play a king of the Orient in nativity scene, was just as sullen as could be. He grudgingly agreed to a photo, and rolled his eyes at every contestant.



The winner was a fab dancer, who gagge the audience with a sissified, attitudey blend of voguing and crumping.



The french have not really discovered air conditioning and the place was boiling. So we hit the streets for a breath of fresh air. I narrowly averted a suicide car-bombing right outsie the club.



There's nothing like a near-death experince to work up one's appetite. With all the superb cuisine in the city of lights, it's tough to decide. But I always like to eat out at Pussy's.



Of course, The famed MOULIN ROUGE was nearby, so I just had to pose for a photo.

"NICOLE WHO?"



In the park adjacent to the Moulin Rouge, we encountered several horny young men who were visibly enticed by Le Bun-Bun, aka Mademoiselle Lapinette. Just doing my part for international relations.

STEP ASIDE CONDOLEEZZA! IT'S BUN-BUN WHO'S SOOTHING THE MUSLIM EXTREMUSTS--LICKING THEM ONE BY ONE!

STFU!

Barbra's famous "Shut the fuck!" comment up has been sampled and turned into a dancetrack. Everyone is still buzzing over the diva's outburst at a fan who heckled her for the political content in her NYC concert weeks ago. In case you haven't heard--I have a friend who went that night who also claimed that Oprah, Gayle and gay Hollywood power broker Sandy Gallin breezed in together for the show--Barbra immediately apologized for her outburst and then offered any offended republican (?) their money back. Only four left and the crowd roared with approval. What most people don't know is that, sensing she'd won that round, Streisand began to bargain with the hecklers to return only a portion of their money. She then began to count the box office proeeds onstage, long nails clicking as she drooled, and launched into her 70's hit EVERGREEN. She appeared to cum twice as the scent of gefilte fish filled the stadium.

NEW RESPECT FOR PARIS H

PR-INSIDE.COM

The sad thing is that we're getting this gossip from Paris's ex because he has a show to promote, right? He's not "slamming" her drug use because he disapproves, he's just trying to hitch his family's show's wagon to a non-scandal.

ENTERING MY SECOND CHILDHOOD

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE NUTS?

Trust me, this gem from will make you feel sane. Thanks to Howie Pyro for this madness!

OUCH!

The truth hurts! Arianna lays it on the line re the Connecticutt Senate race:

"Well, Ned Lamont stands for something. And his opponent, Joe Lieberman, stands for something very different. If the Democratic Party can't look at this race and decide that it needs to unequivocally rally around Lamont, then maybe it really is too confused to govern."

MORE: HUFFPO

FOR HALLOWE'EN INSPIRATIONS

Check out San Fran photog Dan Nicoletta's gallery at THECASTRO.NET, with gay ghetto pics dating back to 1975.

IF YOU LOVE DYNASTY...

Check out this link and click on the pic for a fun catfight: MEAT'N'MORE

MISS UNDERSTOOD'S DISCO POETRY

From Wigstock 1998 on the piers. Miss U looks great (as does the pinwheel backdrop) and her # is insane. I promise I won't post anymore youtube links tonight but I'm jet-lagged, far from home and can't sleep so I figured I'd inflict you with youtube clips gaylore! And what was I thinking in that Mother Goose-a-go-go outfit?

YOUTUBE

DOLLY AND PATTI LOVE SHORTNIN' BREAD

In matching sequinned gowns!

YOUTUBE

GENTLE ON MY MIND

As interpreted by Atlanta's The Singing Peek Sisters. I love how the "audience" is moving more than the performers! Also worth checking out are Deeaundra Peek's solo hits, including DeeeLite's WHAT IS LOVE and RuPaul's SUPERMODEL. SICK!

FEMALE OR SHEMALE?

TAKE THE TESTES TEST AT HEMALEORSHEMALE.COM

ARE YOU MALE OR FEMALE?

LOOK DOWN....












































NOT DOWN HERE, STUPID!

DIDN'T KNOW GRACE JONES HAD A LESBIAN SISTER!

Though I do know her gay brother, Chris, who asists her at shows.

PRIDESOURCE

JON STEWART GOOFS ON BUSH EXPLAINING FOLEY SCANDAL

HUFFPO

GOD HATES FAGS AND THE AMISH

In addition to using military funerals as a backdrop for their anti-gay protests, the freaks at GODHATESFAGS.COM are also rejoicing that those Amish girls were gunned down recently. From their site, here's why:


"On Monday, October 2, 2006, the Lord our God executed some of the judgment that is due to the State
of Pennsylvania in a most amazing fashion. He sent a filthy sexual pervert to the Amish perverts of
america! PERFECT!! With one stroke, our God used this pervert (because america is a nation of
perverts) to execute judgment upon Governor Ed Rendell. This is Rendell of “same-sex-marriage-in-
Philadelphia-under-his-mayorship” fame; of “pass-and-sign-into-law-in-violation-of-his-oath” fame –
a measure that he hoped would stop the servants of the Only Wise God, hoping to shut up the word of
God out of Pennsylvania (NOT – you would have more success abolishing hell); and of “get-on-Fox’s-
‘The-Big-Story’-with-ranting-raving-screeching-banshee-bimbo-Bandares” fame where he in a most
fair and balanced ☺ display, called the prophets everything but children of the Living God. And this
stroke also executed judgment on the state that spawned Albert Snyder, an evil man who was not
content to go to hell quietly after miserably failing his family – he added to his crimes, in that he sued
the servants of the True and Living God, his Creator, who holds the breath of life in His hands and is
the Avenger of all such matters.

And finally this stroke of judgment laid the lying, false, phony, pretentious “religion” of the Amish to
an open shame."

OH MADGE

An open letter to Madonna on her career by Rachel Giese

TEA PARTY

Look out G-Unit! Prep-Unit's rappin' in tha MV (Martha's Vineyard): YOUTUBE

GRAHAM NASH: 1968!

OK, so the video's not that great, but the background singers are fucking amazing! YOUTUBE

This song was written in reference to the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in 1968. The times were very violent, and riots were threatened at the Convention. The mayor of Chicago, Richard Daley, basically told the police to use all necessary force to keep order. They did, with a vengeance. Civil rights and the Vietnam War were major issues, and there were many protesters at the convention. There were lots of arrests, with the police basically beating into submission anyone who had the nerve to speak out.

Chicago/We Can Change the World
Graham Nash


Though your brother's bound and gagged
And they've chained him to a chair
Won't you please come to Chicago
Just to sing
In a land that's known as freedom
How can such a thing be fair
Won't you plaese come to Chicago
For the help we can bring
We can change the world -
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - to get better
Politicians sit yourself down,
There's nothing for you here
Won't you please come to Chicago
For a ride
Don't ask Jack to help you
Cause he'll turn the other ear
Won't you please come to Chicago
Or else join the other side
We can change the world -
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - if you believe in justice
It's dying - and if you believe in freedom
It's dying - let a man live it's own life
It's dying - rules and regulations, who needs them
Open up the door
Somehow people must be free
I hope the day comes soon
Won't you please come to Chicago
Show your face
From the bottom to the ocean
To the mountains of the moon
Won't you please come to Chicago
No one else can take your place
We can change the world -
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - if you believe in justice
It's dying - and if you believe in freedom
It's dying - let a man live it's own life
It's dying - rules and regulations, who needs them
Open up the door
We can change the world

TRIPLE BOO!

80sSKUNKFEST

JANET ATTENDS THE LATEX BALL!

She's got to be one of the sweetest superstars! YOUTUBE

CUTE ANTI-BUSH AD

YOUTUBE

GOD TELLS HIM TO KILL

MIAMI (AFP) - The top US general defended the leadership of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, saying it is inspired by God
"He leads in a way that the good Lord tells him is best for our country," said Marine General Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

No wonder we're losing! God doesn't exist. Rumsfeld, like Bush, is a crazy man, who hears things from an imaginary man upstairs. But what god are they hearing? Surely not the one who commanded THOU SHALT NOT KILL. But I'd guess Rummy would have to look for extraterrestial advisers, since many here on earth, including top military personnel, are calling for his removal!



Does anyone know if Rummy's piousness is a new development, and they're announcing this now to bring the christian right back to the fold after the Foley scandal's scared them away? Anyway you slice it, I'd prefer to have someone with a sharp analysis of military tactics leading the failing fights in Afghanistan and Iraq. Or I guess we shoud just have faith that since god's on our side, we can ignore the solid reports (as these hawks did) that an attack on Iraq would disintegrate into civil war. Faith will also protect our soldiers when lack of appropriate body armor doesn't. And with god's blessing, we can torture, rape and murder Iraqis, like the bums who on 10/18 went on trial for shooting the family of the girl they'd just raped. Here are some excerpts from the CNN report on these assholes.

FORT CAMPBELL, Kentucky (CNN) -- Four U.S. soldiers accused of raping and killing a 14-year-old girl and slaying her sister and their parents will face courts-martial on murder charges, military officials say.

The commander of the 101st Airborne Division has referred murder charges against the soldiers for the alleged crimes that occurred in Mahmoudiya, south of Baghdad, in March. Two of the soldiers could face the death penalty if convicted.

One of the soldiers, 23-year-old Army Spec. James P. Barker, told an Army criminal investigator that after the killings he poured kerosene on the girl's bullet-ridden body, according to testimony in August at a military hearing. The girl's father, mother and five-year-old sister were also killed, according to military officials.

Barker said in an interview that he held the girl down while she was raped by another soldier, Sgt. Paul Cortez, 23, according to Special Agent Benjamin Bierce of the Army's Criminal Investigation Division.

Barker said he then attempted to rape the girl himself, before she was shot to death by former Pfc. Steven D. Green, Bierce said. Green is no longer in the military and faces charges in civilian court.

But, Barker added, he was not sure if he penetrated the girl, because he was having trouble getting an erection.

BUNNY NOTE: Silly boy! He should have prayed for an erection or asked god for viagra!

HEY, I LIKE YOUR PERFUME. WHAT IS IT?

IT'S KEROSENE.

Bierce also testified that Barker admitted pouring kerosene from a lamp onto the girl's body, although it was unclear from the testimony who set the girl on fire.

According to statements given at the hearing, the soldiers were drinking whiskey, playing cards and hitting golf balls when Green brought up the idea of going to a house near the checkpoint where they were stationed, to rape the girl.

Barker described Green as very persistent, Bierce testified. The statements said the five soldiers -- Green, Cortez, Barker, Spielman and Howard -- then changed into dark clothing and covered their faces, before going to the house.

According to Barker, Howard was the lookout and was given a radio to use if anyone approached, Bierce said. The four remaining soldiers then entered the home, at which point the statements from Barker and Cortez about what happened diverge, according to testimony.

Barker told investigators that Cortez pushed the 14-year-old girl to the floor and made "thrusting motions" as Barker held down her hands; then they switched positions, Bierce said.

Sometime during the assault, Barker said he heard gunshots come from the bedroom, where the girl's parents and sister had been taken, and an agitated Green emerged and said he had killed them, Bierce said.

According to Barker, Green then put down the AK-47 he had been carrying and raped the girl, while Cortez held her down, and then picked up the gun and shot her several times, Bierce said.

Green then went into the kitchen and, when he returned, said he had opened the propane tank and they needed to get out of the house because it was about to explode, Bierce said.

However, in his statement to U.S. Army investigators, Cortez denied raping the girl, although he admitted holding her down while Barker raped her, Special Agent Gary Griesmyer testified.

Under questioning, Griesmyer testified there was no evidence Spielman raped or murdered anyone in the house.

Special Agent Michael Hood also said Spielman passed a polygraph test in which he denied shooting or raping anyone. However, in his statement to investigators, Barker put Spielman at the scene and said Spielman grabbed the five-year-old girl outside the house and took her inside, Bierce said.

After the alleged attack, Barker also said the soldiers gave Spielman their clothes to burn and that he threw the AK-47 in a canal, Bierce said.

A sixth soldier, Sgt. Anthony W. Yribe, has been charged with failing to report the alleged rape and killings, but was not alleged to have been a participant.

A soldier's suspicions

Also testifying at the August hearing was a soldier in the same platoon as the accused men, Pfc. Justin Watt, who said he began trying to find out what happened at Mahmoudiya after Yribe confided to him that Green had told Yribe about the rape and killings.

"I wanted to see if I could confirm my suspicions that there were more people involved," Watt said. "I believed there were American forces involved."

Watt said when he asked Howard about what happened, Howard revealed the plan to rape the girl and that his role was to be the lookout. "(Howard) let me know that he ended up seeing a Humvee and calling them back frantically," Watt testified.

Howard also told him that when the other soldiers returned from the house, "Their clothes were covered in blood," Watt said.

After piecing together the details about what happened, Watt said he reported his suspicions to a combat stress team. "If you have the power to make something right, you should do it," Watt said. "Investigation is not my job. But if something went down, something terrible like that, then it's my obligation to come forward."

However, Watt also described the conditions at Mahmoudiya as a "suck-fest," testifying that the soldiers were living in the basement of a "dilapidated, abandoned water treatment facility," and had gone 30 days without a shower.

BUNNY NOTE: Sorry that the US military wasn't able to offer you more deluxe accomodations during the senseless killing spree which you signed up for. And no shower for 30 days? I knew that there were only 2 hours of electricity per day for Iraqi's, but no running water for even a shower. Poor boys. God was rewarding these fine soldiers with a little rape and murder spree--he works in mysterious ways!

He also said the ongoing violence, including the deaths of two soldiers in their unit shortly before the slayings of the Iraqi family, had affected everyone. "I was going to get a memorial tattoo of all the guys (who were killed), but there's not enough room on my arm," Watt said.

Accused has "anti-social personality disorder"

Green, who was discharged from the Army and returned to the United States in May because of an "anti-social personality disorder," is facing rape and murder charges in a civilian federal court. He is being held in a Kentucky jail.

All six men charged are from the 502nd Parachute Infantry Regiment of the 101st Airborne Division, based in Fort Campbell, Kentucky.

There is some confusion over the alleged rape victim's age. Identity cards and death certificates of the victims, which were obtained by Reuters news agency, show the alleged rape victim was Abeer Qassim Hamza al-Janabi, with the birth date August 19, 1991.

BUNNY NOTE: I'll do the math: she's 15 now, 14 when it occurred. Not what is considered a "young woman", as military reports repeatedly claimed.

The mayor of Mahmoudiya confirmed her identity and birth date to CNN. The U.S. military had previously referred to the alleged rape victim as a "young Iraqi woman."

A Justice Department affidavit in the case against Green says investigators estimated her age at about 25, while the U.S. military said she was 20.

Marines face murder charges in separate case

In Camp Pendleton, California, on Wednesday a U.S. Marine general ordered three Marines to stand trial on murder charges in the April killing of an Iraqi man outside Baghdad.

Hallelujah, boys! You're doing god's work! Keep the faith! Would a devout man like Rumsfeld lead you astray? You can bet your life on him...AND YOU'LL LOSE!

CYBERLADYMINISTRIES.COM

CYBER LADY'S ANAL MUSEUM



CYBERLADYMINISTRIES offers hours--ok, minutes--of enjoyment on her site, which includes pix like the one above and soundfiles of some crazy-ass podcasts like this one, called ANOTHER HORRID SHOW. Recommended.

KAREN BLACK'S NEW PETA AD

From EONLINE.COM

LADYBUNNY.NET NOW AWARD-WINNING!

I recently received the prestigious Cybersocket Award for Best Personal Homepage at their 7th annual awards ceremony in Phoenix. And when I say there was some "stiff" competition, I really mean it! Not to toot my own horn, but just look at the winner's in the other categories--wouldn't mind tooting some of their horns!

Surfer's Choice Awards

Best Adult Blog
Gay Porn Blog

Best Adult Novelties Site
Adam Male

Best Adult Video For Ipod (There was a tie)
Dirty Tony
Colt Studio

Best Amateur Video Site
Dirty Boy Video

Best Amateur Webcam
Str8cam

Best Asian Theme Adult Site
Boykakke

Best AVS Site
ManCheck

Best Black Theme Adult Site
ThugBoy

Best Celebrity Site
Male Stars

Best Erotic E-Zine
Just Us Boys

Best Escort Site
Big Cock Society

Best European Theme Adult Site
Men at Play

Best Fetish Site
Boys Pissing

Best Free Adult Site
BananaGuide

Best Hookup Adult Site
Men 4 Sex Now

Best Latin Theme Adult Site
Papi Cock

ANGEL FROM PAPICOCK.com


Best Live XXX Show
Sex Gaymes

Best Mega Site
Badpuppy

Best New Adult Site
Blake Mason

Best Original Content
Randy Blue

Best Original Theme Site
You Love Jack

Best Personal Homepage
Lady Bunny

Best Porn Star Site
Pierre Fitch

Best Reality Site
Straight College Men

Best Video Company Site
Raging Stallion

Best Video/DVD Retail Site
Adam Male

Best VOD Site
NakedSword

Best Voyeur Site
Live Twinks Cam

ELLEN ALMOST GETS PENETRATED!

By a massive snake! Luckily, the anaconda is a girl!

HELL HOUSE AND OTHER HORRORS

If you're in NYC, you have until 10/29 to catch HELL HOUSE at St. Ann's Warehouse in Brooklyn. If you're not in NYC, maybe you can find the documentary of the same name from several years ago. HELL HOUSE is a christian-themed House of Horrors which Jerry Falwell developed in the late 70's. You see, evangelicals don't approve of the celebration of the old pagan holiday Hallowe'en--hell, they even think HARRY POOTER is sinful--so they've substituted the traditional ghouls and zombies with scenes of abortions and fags with AIDS to scare you back to the path of righteousness. But if failed abortions and AIDS-riddled fags scared me that much, I wouldn't have been able to watch half of the drag performers in NYC!

But at HELL HOUSE I was shrieking all right--with laughter! As were my cohorts Lahoma, Lurleen, Ryan Landry and David Ilku of Duelling Bankheads fame. We met Beelzebub, Jesus, Prince HIV, a gay couple who were joined in unholy matrimony, some hipsters who were too cool for Jesus and a gurgling Terri Schiavo. At one point, gigantic tongs (aluminum foil-covered boards) appear to snatch a fetus and everyone gets splashed with fake blood. (The "script" apparently offers pointers on which cuts of meat look most like an aborted baby.) The showstopper? In hell, you pass by many actors in vignettes lamenting their moral downfall. One is a prissy Broadway queen in a tux singing some god-awful show tune! Hilarious! Get stoned and check out this insanity. Of course, in NYC, it's presented as a joke, though some audience members claim to have been genuinely freaked out. It's bizarre to imagine that sincere productions are still regularly mounted around the country.



But they can't be as scary as the freaks who run and attend JESUS CAMP, the documentary about which I'd say is a must-see. To watch close-ups of children's innocent faces speaking in tongues is more demonic than any hellions from Hell House. Let's see, the organizers of this camp spirit the kids out to the woods (a la a witch's coven), encourage them to speak in tongues as if they were possessed, and then trot out a foamcore effigy of George Bush to be praised? Wouldn't that be the false idolatry that the bible denounces? These people are a mess. And the head honcho? He meets with president Bush each Monday to map out Armageddon. The evangelicals actively seek to entertwine church and state and 75% of the kids who are home-schooled are evangelicals, who want to spirit the kids away before they are exposed to new-fangled, salacious concepts like Darwin's theory of evolution or stem-cell research or abortions for rape victims. JESUS CAMP also shows how evangelists trick the kids by making christian music which doesn't actually mentioning god or the father in the song's lyrics, and by making use of popular if unlikely musical influences from rap and heavy metal. Um, aren't the three predominant themes in rap, thug, 'ho and bling? Very pious. And isn't the black clothing, skull imagery and dark sound of heavy metal the direct opposite of Jesus's light? Through tricks like this, christian music sales are up 300%. Scared yet? I was, but then I did read an article somewhere about how young evangelicals are leaving the church in droves. And they're leaving on witches' brooms.



And speaking of witches! Tangella Deville, a rare, early Pyramid Club drag diva who is featured in the original WIGSTOCK: THE MOVIE by Tom Rubnitz which is now on YOUTUBE in 4 parts, sent me this frightful link. (Although maybe I'm more frightful in my opening number of the first Wigstock--see why I don't wear flat wigs anymore?)

They even have their own rainbow flag logo dripping with blood! A sample of what it's all about in their own words:

QueerHorror.com is a site devoted to exploring the horror genre and its inclusion of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and the transgendered. It's a place where queer folk can explore their interests in, or connections with, the horror genre.

The connection between queers and horror is a very strong one. By many homophobes, we are seen as the villains in horror; corrupting families, spreading plagues and destroying the moral fabric of society. However, we know ourselves to be much more the heros in horror, trying to fight to overcome almost impossible odds while always knowing that there is an evil presence out there that wishes to destroy us, no matter what the cost.

Hungh?

Anyhoo, I got a head start on Sin Season performing at Richmond, VA's gay pride festivities a couple weeks ago:



Bunion made front page news, though the reviews were somewhat mixed! Hey, a video clip of my act is loaded onto my site for a reason. You view it, you determine if it's appropriate for your crowd, and if so, you book it. If it's too trashy for you, then decide right then. I do have different Laugh-In routines and will sometimes prune out the filthiest jokes for an all ages crowd. But no one suggested I censor myself for this venue.

FROM THE RICHMOND SUNDAY TIMES-DISPATCH:

Gay event pushes city's envelope
People at Richmond's pride festival call for understanding, respect

"If the political conversations at the Gay Pride Virginia Festival didn't move people, the upbeat and often-vulgar musical medley from drag artist Lady Bunny probably did the trick.

In clear platform heels, a sparkly dress and sky-high blond hair, Lady Bunny's voice carried over the crowd that filled the 17th Street Farmers' Market yesterday afternoon.

Brian Boyce watched the audience laugh, saying the act pushed the envelope a little bit, especially for Richmond. Still, he would have liked to have seen a stronger turnout, and he attributed it partly to some people being afraid to show up at such an event in a conservative city."

MORE: TIMESDISPATCH

THANKS TO THIS "GAL", I DIDN'T GET A STANDING OVATION. I'M TEASING--THAT'S ONE OF MY MYSPACE GIRLFRIENDS WHO BROUGHT ME A DIVINE FAKE CHANEL LIPSTICK WHICH WHEN SWITCHED ON, MAGICALLY TURNS INTO A PERSONAL FAN!



However, one reviewer wasn't too thrilled with the show:

FROM THE TIMES-DISPATCH ON WEDNESDAY:

"Speaking of gay pride, where is it?

The special guest of the public, outdoor event at Richmond's 17th Street Farmers' Market was the outrageous New York City drag queen Lady Bunny.

As the festival's Web site promised, "The multi-talented Diva and Wigstock founder will serve as the event's MC and deliver an exclusive performance you won't want to miss!"

The "exclusive performance," broadcast over the PA system and heard by children, included an ode to a bodily fluid based on a Broadway tune, a ditty about pedophilia borrowed from an Elton John song and a vulgar version of Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly With His Song."

Lady Bunny, who has a very sweet voice, sang about cocaine-fueled gay sex quite graphically.

Clever? Definitely. Funny? Maybe in a club setting.

Festival attendee Brian Boyce cautioned Times-Dispatch reporter Olympia Meola that "we're not all about random sex acts. We're about life, love, the pursuit of happiness. What our Founding Fathers wanted us to have."

Well, George Washington did wear a wig."

READ THE REST: TIMESDISPATCH

He cites the US's moral bankruptcy as exemplified by Anna Nichole Smith's wedding 3 weeks after her son died and daughter was born as a good reason for muslims to despise us.

And for the record, though I glad you think I have a "sweet voice", I never sang about cocaine-fueled sex. (I only performed it with children in the dressing room tent.)



As Whitney Houston, I did light up a crackpipe, but there was no mention of sex and coke together. I have standards! And really, the reporter could have come up with better examples of vulgarity--the gerbil I pull out of my ass to the tune of Tamia's THERE'S A STRANGER IN MY ASS, perhaps? Guilty as charged, I'm vulgar!

And like Miss Mark Foley, I've checked into rehab for alcoholism and related, behavioral issues. I might as well tell you now that I'm a gay American. Oh, AND, also like Mark, I was abused as a child. From what other source could such a twisted act as a mine ever evolve? The abuse was so traumatic for me--when it stopped! I was devastated and wanted more!

LIKE FLIP WILSON (WHICH GUARDS CALLED FLOTILLA DURING HER BRIEF STINT IN JAIL!), THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!



Anyhoo, Virginia's still part of the bible belt and a few christian protesters showed up to sour the festival. (Damn it! That was MY job!) I cheerily thanked them all for coming and posed for a few pix like the ones at the top of the post. But really, I don't believe in god, but do you see me picketing your fucking church bake sales? (Only when their prices are too high.)

I even made it into a sermon --they are presenting a video to the Richmond city council and hope to bring charges against me! If you care to listen, it's roughly halfway through the sermon's file. But you guys already knew that I'm the devil, didn't you?

I shared the bill with a lovely creature named Shawna, who performed a showstopper from some brand new Broadway musical. I tell you, these out-of-towners know Broadway shows better than us New Yorkers, who are too busy hustling for that landlord to buy many $100 theater tickets.

SHAWNA--SHE'S A TITLE-HOLDER: AMERICA'S TOP BOTTOM!



The stage show broke for a fashion show beside the 17th Street Farmer's market, and the crowd lined up to watch the models strut their funky stuff.



This gal wasn't on the runway, but should have been with that pose.



There are some very real-looking trannies in Richmond, ranging in looks from well-scrubbed, respectable Southern white women to muthafuckin' Hazel realness.





Sirena Sparkles added a little Radical Faerie flava!



MS. PEACHES



Ms. Peaches here is only 19 and she's sporting an inspired hairdo which teeters on a very thin line between high fashion and the ladies who worked at the lunch counter at my grade school. To use your own hair and then sculpt it with gel is not a look I could ever pull off, but maybe it could be considered lesbian chic, if such a thing as lesbian chic existed. KIDDING, my yke sisters! Peaches emailed my site asking if I'd put up her pic and asked for some drag advice. So here's a little tip: avoid posing next to a trash can! Go ahead and get in it!

THE RETURN OF ROZZIE ROZ!



Though I don't imagine that this will interest too many of you, your yawns will most definitely be drowned out by the screams of Atlanta old-timers who see this gal for the first time in decades. She was my roomate in Atlanta circa 1983 and she pretty much looks the same. Roz was the funky black chic on the alternative rock scene which centered around Larry Tee and Lahoma's genius old band, THE NOW EXPLOSION.

YOUTUBE now has a clip of Lahoma and a shapely young Bun lip-synching to one of THE NOW EXPLOSION'S biggest hits, STUFF, with vox by Elouise Montague and The Lady Clare, one of my early mentors in sow business.

THE NOW EXPLOSION'S LADY CLARE



IT WAS A REAL MIND-FUCK TO HEAR A VIRGINIA DRAWL COME OUT OF THIS PUERTO RICAN CUTIE'S MOUTH. PERSONALLY I'D PREFER AN ASS-FUCK, BUT THESE DAYS, I TAKE WHAT I CAN GET!



AND WHO THE HECK NEEDS VIRGINIA HAM WITH ALL THIS YUMMY BEEF? VIRGINIA REALLY IS FOR LOVERS!



But back to Hallowe'en! The holiday is so sinful that we gays call it "Gay Christmas." And speaking of Christmas, look what J.C. Penney's has just come out with in time for your holiday shopping: THE CAROL CHANNING VENTRILOQUIST'S PUPPEY! It's for ages 3 and up, but do "kids" even 30 remember Carol? I hope so, and pray that I hear "Raspberies!", her insane line from THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE, rasping out of strollers in the near future. Some demonic fag must've dreamt up these dolls for J C Penney's as a way to indoctrinate the young'ns with seemingly harmless gay show biz icons! First step Carol, next step meth orgies of Sodom!