LADY GAGA TRIED TO KILL ME!

DELTA'S EBONICS AD

WHAT IS A JIMMY HAT?

AMANDA LEAR'S 1ST SINGLE

A COVER OF TROUBLE BY ELVIS PRESLEY

RIMA S: LOVE TO LOVE YOU BABY

THE NAME IS A PLAY ON RIM MY ASS, GET IT? I DIDN'T EITHER! BUT THIS IS A CUTE DONNA SUMMER COVER ON A SONG WHICH ALWAYS DID NEED A FASTER VERSION. RIMA JOKED THAT IT TOOK MANY GUYS TO LIFT HER HEFTY ASS UP IN THAT ONE SCENE!

COAST GUARD HELPS BP SHIELD SPILL FROM PRESS

FROM HUFFPO:

NEW ORLEANS — Media organizations say they are being allowed only limited access to areas impacted by the Gulf oil spill through restrictions on plane and boat traffic that are making it difficult to document the worst spill in U.S. history.

The Associated Press, CBS and others have reported coverage problems because of the restrictions, which officials say are needed to protect wildlife and ensure safe air traffic.

Ted Jackson, a photographer for The Times-Picayune newspaper in New Orleans, said Saturday that access to the spill "is slowly being strangled off."

MORE: HUFFPO

SO ADORABLE!

AN INFANT REGAINS HIS HEARING AFTER A COCHLEAR IMPLANT.

MORE OIL SPILL BLUES

I'm not fond of CNN's John KIng so I was happy to see Candy Crowley replace him today on State Of The Union. She's no beauty, so I like to imagine that she actually might have gotten hired because of her journalistic skills. She did ask "Why aren't we seeing more images of oily pelicans?", perhaps hinting at the fact t...hat BP, with the government's help, is controlling the images of this disastrous spill.



Crazily, she then did a segment called "BP's Battered Image." A publicist was interviewed to see what BP needed to do to resuscitate it's image. WHAT?? Who cares about the company's image--the damn dying birds and marine life? The broke fishermen? The poor people who are still shattered from Katrina? Besides BP employees and politicians payed by them, who could possibly be rooting for BP right now? That segment made no sense to me.

If BP really wanted to resuscitate their image, they'd stop the leak before more irreparable damage is done. And if they'd given a hoot about their image to begin with, they would've already had the two relief wells drilled and have had other preventative safety measures in place.

But what kind of new coverage is this? Why are we even discussing public perceptions of the company responsible for the worst environmental disaster of our time? Forget the image and focus what BP HAS done. Then convict the bastards.

Here's what we know they've been up to:

They've ignored safety restrictions and common sense to place their profits above the health of our planet. One witness claims to have seen a discussion on board the now sunken rig in which a BP exec insisted that the drilling company use sea water, which is riskier, rather than the safer drilling mud because water was cheaper. Wasn't this the cause of the whole fiasco?

Payed off safety regulators with everything from gifts to drugs to porn. (OK, so BP's not all bad.)

Initially downplayed the # of barrels gushing into the ocean since the oil giant will be fined per barrel.

Actually called the crisis minor.

Sprayed dispersants into the ocean AFTER the government told them not to. Dispersants whose effects aren't even known. But you can't be fined on oil that is dispersed, can you? Because it can't ever be measured after it's dispersed.

Clean-up workers are getting sick from the spill. Faux clean-up workers were bused in for Obama's visit/photo op and let go after Obama left. (And Obama, if I know this, then YOU know this.)

And BP shooed away reporters because of lord-knows-what-else they're hiding. The Coast Guard helped them. Don't our taxes fund the Coast Guard? Then why are they protecting the privacy of a British company when it concerns the damage they're responsible for in our waters which is headed towards our shores?

One of my favorite talk radio hosts, Randi Rhodes, claimed that we would not see the whole, nasty story about this spill because ALL of our news networks want BP's ad money so they soft-pedal the crisis and it's links to our corrupt government. And if she weren't correct, WHY WOULD A NEWS SEGMENT SEEK TO RESUSCITATE AN OBVIOUSLY GUILTY CRIMINAL LIKE BP? Would you ever see a news segment on how to restore the image of the earthquake in Haiti? No, because that earthquake doesn't have BP's billions.

Another thing I don't understand about the oil spill is that BP was supposedly closing up shop there when the rig collapsed. If there's so much oil still spewing which will continue to spew at least until the relief wells are built in August, why were they leaving all that oil and closing up shop?

PACO RABANNE!

CHRISTINE JORGENSEN INTERVIEW

BELLY-DANCING GONE WRONG

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE NEW VERSION OF THE GIRL IN THE GORILLA MASK DANCING TO SINGLE LADIES!

WATCH

NOW I KNOW WHAT TURNS MASK FETISHISTS ON!

WATCH AND GAG!

WHAT REALITY TV HAS BEEN MISSING..

ME, DAMMIT! RUPAUL SPILLS THE BEANS ABOUT HIS NEW LOGO SHOW ON WHICH I'M FEATURED AS A REGULAR JUDGE, THE DEAN OF DRAG. OR SHOULD THAT BE THE HOWARD DEAN OF DRAG? NAH, I'M NOT THIN ENOUGH TO BE HOWARD!

THE SEASON PREMIERES ON JULY 19TH!

http://www.newnownext.com/2010/05/28/watch-a-rupauls-drag-u-preview-headmaster-rupaul-schools-you-about-the-new-show/

GASPING!

HOE-RROR QUEEN EXPLAINED!

THE HAT REALLY MAKES IT!

HEE HEE!

IF YOU THOUGHT 50 CENT WAS UGLY BEFORE...

LOOK AT HIM NOW, AFTER LOSING 1/4 OF HIS BODY WEIGHT TO PLAY A CANCER PATIENT! I'm re-thinking my diet.



MORE: GAWKER

FUN W/ DRIVERS' LICENCES

MOM'S DRIVER'S LICENSE:

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

' Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'How old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age, the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh?'

Now really, the mother says,
'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

'My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.

'Well,' says the friend,
'all you need to do is look at her Driver's License.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
'I know how old you are. You are 32.'

The mother is surprised and asks,
'How did you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'

And, the little girl says triumphantly,
'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'

'Because you got an F in sex.'




Running stop light = $100.00

DUI = $5000.00


Not wearing a seat belt = $50.00


Putting you & your girlfriend on your fake drivers license =PRICELESS




REMEMBER!!When making a fake ID, attach a picture of yourself only...no matter how much you love your girl. ‘Counterfeit I...D. of the Week'....This is an actual Drivers License from a traffic stop.....

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

I SCREAMED OFF THIS MESS!

Individuals who eat a great deal of fiber usually have remnants of this indigestible material present in their stool: lettuce, celery strands, etc. Scat floss is a new oral hygene technique wherein one individual shits in another individual's mouth. The shitee chews on the warm, viscous shit and in the process has their teeth flossed by the fibrous strands contained within the massive, oozing load.

For a VIVID EXAMPLE READ ON>>>

Caleb examined his mouth in the mirror, frustration oozing from every pore. "Great veal florentine, Delmonico," Caleb lisped to his effeminate lover, "but now I have these silly portabello mushrooms stuck between my teeth!"

Delmonico did not say a word. He merely stood up, brushed off his Prada jeans, and pranced quickly to Caleb's side. Delmonico placed a manicured hand on Caleb's girlish shoulder and pushed him into a kneeling position with the calm agression that a lioness uses to bathe her newborn cubs.

With wide, moist eyes like a majestic deer, Caleb opened his mouth wide, ready to accept Delmonico's spicy meat pole.

"Not this time, princess," said Delmonico with a Richard Simmons squeal.
"It's time for you to clean out your filthy little mouth!"

Delmonico quickly pulled down his jeans and Bill Blass silk bikini underwear. He placed his gaping, blown-out anus over Caleb's mouth and squeezed out a 9-inch long log that contained the remnants of yesterday's Nicoise salad.

As Caleb chewed and chomped with the delight of a squirell with a sunflower seed, Delmonico let Mr. Foofer, the couples' prized Shi Tzu, lick his dripping asshole clean.

SO TRUE!

REX REED READ "SEX AND THE PITY"

From The Observer By Rex Reed



The only thing memorable about Sex and the City 2 is the number two part, which describes it totally, if you get my drift. Everything else in this deadly, brainless exercise in pointless tedium is dedicated to the screeching audacity of delusional self-importance that convinces these people the whole world is waiting desperately to watch two hours and 25 minutes of platform heels, fake orgasms and preposterous clothes. It is to movies what fried dough is to nutrition.

MORE: OBSERVER.COM

SHOULD SOME PEOPLE NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE KIDS?

AND HE ONLY LIGHTS UP AFTER SEX!

FROM MSNBC.COM:

Dad says smoking toddler is ‘addicted’ 2-year-old throws tantrums when he can't light up




JAKARTA, Indonesia - A video of smoking toddler is sparking outrage on the web. When the clip of 2-year-old Sumatran Ardi Rizal puffing away surfaced on YouTube Wednesday, it spread to online social media like, well, fire. Popular blog Gawker linked to the smoking baby video, calling him "totally cooler than you." But user Faldo777's response was the more typical response: "His parents should be jailed."

VIDEO

SO IMPORTANT!

ACT NOW OR THE INTERNET WILL NOT BE FREE. All kinds of sick plans are being hatched by huge companies to make sites which pay them to load more quickly, etc. This will effectively limit the time it takes for non-corporate sites to load and make real news more difficult to get. Please sign this petition if you like the internet the way it is. Or snooze and lose. This is neither a democratic nor republican issue.

Congress just sold you out to Comcast, Verizon and AT&T. 74 House Democrats and 37 Senate Republicans have signed industry-written letters telling the FCC to abandon efforts to protect Internet users and stop big companies from blocking Internet traffic. It’s yet another example of dirty politics destroying our democracy, and it has to stop.

Tell Washington: Congress Doesn’t Speak for Me



The nasty little secret that everybody knows? Almost every one of these representatives has accepted massive contributions from the phone and cable lobby. Now the industry is demanding a return on its investment. By signing the industry letter, these members of Congress have drastically undercut the FCC’s ability to get a fast, affordable and open Internet to everyone in America.

They are actually taking a position against the interests of rural and low-income communities. We aren’t going to let this outrageous and unethical behavior stand. Today, we’re asking hundreds of thousands of Americans to sign our own letter and telling Congress and the FCC that these members of Congress don’t speak for us, President Obama or the millions of other Americans who support a fast, open and affordable Internet. Don’t Let Dirty Politics Kill Fast, Open and Affordable Internet That so many members of Congress would intentionally sell out the public may be hard to imagine. Perhaps these representatives didn’t know what they were signing. Or perhaps this is just business as usual, another D.C. betrayal of the public trust. (Is it any wonder the latest Gallup public opinion poll counts a congressional disapproval rating of 73 percent?) These members of Congress acted on blind faith that phone and cable companies have the best interests of Americans in mind. But Comcast and AT&T can no better police themselves to protect the open Internet than BP can police itself to protect the oceans. We already know how that ends. The phone and cable companies must play by our rules before it’s too late. Congress can’t hand over the future of communications to these companies. The results would be disastrous. By taking action today, you’re telling Congress that these bad deeds won’t go unnoticed.

PLEASE SIGN PETITION HERE: FREEPRESS.NET

ERIN BROCKOVICH--TO THE RESCUE?

From The Times May 22, 2010

Stand up to BP and say: ‘You know, I’m not taking your s*** any more’

It is 19 years since Erin Brockovich first went into battle against corporate America. She was a small-town single mum who stood up to an industrial Goliath and won. Now, as she champions a new case with a depressingly similar plot, it is clear that she has lost none of her fighting spirit or trademark candour.

“Stand up to BP and say, ‘You know what, I’m not taking your shit any more’ ,” she tells an audience of more than 300 anxious individuals in Pensacola, Florida, who have gathered to hear how they can seek legal redress for the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

“If you stand down and you say nothing and you get complacent and let them run over you, they will do that. They are already doing that. I’m telling you: Don’t let them,” she continues, and is greeted with applause.

But backstage, the 49-year-old former beauty queen whose grit helped to win hundreds of millions of dollars for wronged communities and made her a symbol of environmental activism seems momentarily beaten.
Related Links

“In all my 19 years this is the first time I feel helpless,” she admits, wiping away a tear. “I’m the one that usually sends a message of hope and I’m feeling helpless in this scenario because it’s so big and so complex and so . . . just awful.”

It is a powerful confession for a woman whose life story is based on mental toughness, a “modern-day David who loves a good brawl with today’s Goliaths”, as she admits.

MORE: TIMESONLINE.COM

WHAT'S WORSE?

THE VIDEO OR THE ROTTEN TRACK WHICH IT'S SET TO?

PEDOPHILE GAME SHOW HOST!

SO SICK!

CARVILLE TO OBAMA

Even if Obama isn't acting on the BP spill because like every other politician he's on their payroll and just wants their money to get re-elected with, is he SO STUPID that he can't see that Katrina, the other recent disaster in that area, is what caused the whole country to realized that Bush was an incapable moron? T...he sad thing is that Obama isn't stupid. So what does that leave as an excuse? Indecisive? Uncaring about the environment? Corrupt?

FROM HUFFPO:


James Carville To Obama On Oil Spill: 'Get Down Here And Take Control... We're About To Die'

Democratic strategist and New Orleans resident James Carville is not relenting from his frenzied plea for President Obama to take a more direct and active role in addressing the Gulf oil blowout.

"The President of the United States could've come down here, he could've been involved with the families of these 11 people" who died on the rig after an explosion, Carville said on ABC's Good Morning America. "He could be commandeering tankers and making BP bring tankers in and clean this up. They could be deploying people to the coast right now. He could be with the Corps of Engineers and the Coast Guard...doing something about these regulations. These people are crying, they're begging for something down here, and it just looks like he's not involved in this."

MORE/VIDEO: HUFFPO

OBAMA HAS OFFICIALLY LOST IT

The Obama administration in a brief to the Supreme Court has backed the
Vatican's claim of immunity from lawsuits arising from cases of sexual
abuse by priests in the United States. The brief was a Fruit Of The Loom brief in kid's size small complete with urine, feces, semen, holy water and tear stains all over it.

Back o...ff, Obama! The tragic catholic church is broke because they have to pay off the kids they rape and you want to support them? I'm glad you support some kind of gay rights, f#cker!

READ MORE: RAWSTORY.COM

CARE FOR AN EXPENSIVE GOLD FACE CREAM

WHICH MAKES YOU BREAK OUT?



MORE: NYTIMES

SEX AND THE CITY 2 PREMIERE

I know I rag on Sarah Horse-ica's often clueless looks, but she and the rest of the cast really looked fab at the premiere. I especially love the brunette in hot pink--I don't watch the show so I don't know her name. BUT LIZA! Sheer madness! Maybe this is her homage to Tawana Brawley?



MORE PICS: TOMANDLORENZO2

KATIE MELUA: THE FLOOD

HOW CUTE IS HE?

JIM BAILEY W/ CAROL BURNETT

CELEBRITY IMPERSONATORS AREN'T MY FAV TYPE OF DRAG, BUT WHEN THEY ARE DONE THIS WELL IT'S PRETTY UNSTOPPABLE. AND I LOVE JIM'S DRESS!

FORMER MISS ARKANSAS WINNERS!

CHECK OUT TUNA STARR FROM 1972!



MORE: MISSDAYARKANSAS

BP' RECORD PROFITS FROM SPILL

In a sickening Interview with Forbes Magazine BP Chief Tony Hayward says the Gulf spill might help the BP and the oil industry to make increased profits of up to 20% by 2015, which would mean record profits for the British oil maker.

MORE: ALEXANDERHIGGINS

WHITNEY HAS REALLY LOST IT!

GRINDR EXPLAINED

IN A HUMOROUS WAY! GRINDER is a newish iphone app which connects gays with other horny gays who are looking for sex in whatever area they travel to with their iphone. I was shopping for fabric with my seamster lately and even though stores were about to close and we had to find a certain lining, he could NOT take his eyes off of this app. Literally too many guys to choose from.

GRINDR

S&M: SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS!

NYC DJ/JOURNALIST/SCENESTER ANITA SARKO HAS A TWISTED NEW TATTOO!

SOME VELVET MORNING

A HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL SONG FROM LEE HAZELWOOD AND NANCY SINATRA. NANCY'S PART IS SO CREEPY. WENDY WILD ONCE SANG THIS AT WIGSTOCK. DEFINITELY A HIGHLIGHT OT THE FESTIVAL.

BEHIND THE SCENES LOOK AT BOOMING FOR OIL SPILLS

LIZA: SINBLE LADIES

SHE COVERS THIS IN SEX AND THE CITY 2. I HATE THIS SONG, BUT AT LEAST IT HAS THAT BIZARRE QUALITY THAT LIZA OFTEN BRINGS TO HER VERSIONS OF DNACE TUNES--LIKE HER INCREDIBLY CAMPY VEERSION OF JOE TEX'S I GOTCHA.

JUD GARLAND FOR CREAM OF WHEAT

A GOOD POINT FROM NIPSEY RUSSELL

NEW MYV SERIES

THE HARD TIMES OF RJ BERGER is a new show about the trials of a teenage horse-hung nerd.

TRAILER

KAYE BALLARD'S LUCILLE BALLE STORY

SAN FRAN'S TRANNY DISTRICT SUPERVISOR?

FORMER NYC QUEEN ANNA CONDA (AKA GLENDON HYDE) RUNS FOR OFFICE IN THE COUNTRY'S GAYEST CITY>



MORE INFO ON HER CAMPAIGN: ANNACONDO201

TUNNEL VISION

GOOD OLE BOYS COME IN ALL COLORS

OBAMA IS BOUGHT AND PAID FOR, JUST LIKE 90% OF THE OTHER POLITICIANS. WHERE'S HIS LEADERSHIP ON THIS? HE'S LETTING BP CONDUCT THEIR OWN INVESTIGATION AND DOWNPLAYING THIS DISASTER. I DON'T CARE WHAT MICHELLE'S STUPID DRESS LOOKED LIKE. OBAMA HAD NO BUSINESS AT A STATE FUNCTION IN THE MIDST OF A DISASTER. Will this be his Katrina?

A few months ago, he announced plans for more off-shore drilling, which he is now putting on hold. Because it was clearly corporate ass-kissing to begin with.

FROM HUFFPO:

But crude oil has now been erupting into the Gulf of Mexico for over
a month, and the sense that the Obama administration is treating the
spill as an urgent national emergency has diminished even as the impact
of the disaster has magnified. Not until yesterday, critics note, a
full 30 days after the oil rig explosion, did federal officials establish a technical team to measure the full extent of the spill.

MORE: HUFFPO

MENUDO MEMBER ALL GROWN UP!

BOY 2 MAN!


http://www.paragonmen.com/paragon-penthouse/public-gallery/362.html?showall=1

PARAGONMEN

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

SHE ASKED FOR THE BUTT LIFT!

FLYING SOUTHWEST? YOUR BAGS ARE FUCKED!

GLAMOUR SHOTS GONE WRONG

THIS SITE PROVIDES OODLES OF NOT-SO-HOT PUBLICITY PIX WITH SNARKY COMMENTARY. BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I LOVE THIS COLLAR AS DOUBLE CHIN-HIDER POSE. GOTTA REMEMBER THAT ONE!



MORE PIX: FRENCHYSHOUSEPARTY

JUST WHAT THE BAY CITY ROLLERS NEEDED!

ANN-MARGERT'S ROTTEN VIBRATO! But even that doesn't top this audience!

BAY CITY ROLLERS & ANN MARGERET SATURDAY NIGHT @ Yahoo! Video

GOD, I'M A WHORE

HILARIOUS!

I HAVE A GREAT FACE FOR RADIO!

BUNION WILL BE INTERVIEWED ON SIRIUS'S DEREK AND ROMAINE PROGRAM FOR THE HOUR TOMORROW NIGHT AT 9PM EST. AS PART OF THEIR DJ SERIES, I'LL BE CHATTING AND PLAYING SOME OF MY CURRENT FAV TUNES. AND I HAVE SOME HOT ONES! IF YOU DON'T SUBSCRIBE TO SIRIUS, YOU CAN DO A TRIAL OFFER. DETAILS:


Lady Bunny is scheduled for a live in-studio interview and Friday Night Dance Party segment with Derek and Romaine of Sirius XM Satellite Radio on Friday, May 21st at 9:05 pm ET.

The interview will last about 45 minutes. This will broadcast live on Sirius XM Satellite Radio channel OutQ, Sirius 109 and XM 98. Listeners and fans are welcome to participate by calling 866-305-6887. For those who don't subscribe to Sirius, a free online trial is available at www.Sirius.com.

PRINCE HARRY IS PACKIN'!

SOME OF THOSE REDHEADS!

OUR FINE COAST GUARD

On the 1 month anniversary of the explosion, BP has hired contractors to keep reporters away from the oil spill--with help from the Coast Guard. So who is the Coast Guard protecting? Not any coast! And the media has largely ignored this because they want BP's ad money. Isn't this a great country?

MORE: TREEHUGGER

BEYOND DEMENTED!

DIANA ROSS IS NOT DIANA-MITE LIVE!

She's one of my idols--I love her voice and can orgasm off of her glamour. She also has decades of fantastic material. Face it, today's pop stars are not going to have full stadiums of fans singing 40 years later about harajuku girls or Fergalicious or even Bootylicious, for that matter. Diana has always worked with the best songwriters and had fab producers. And her songs are timeless pop perfection. With the Supremes, she captured a whole generation with the outstretched hand accompanying the lyrics "Stop! In the name of love" and every hairbrush-holding karaoke fool still knows when and how to do that movement today. Diana could fill a whole concert with her scads of hits, barely talk and easily fill 2 hours with plenty of hits to spare. Unfortunately, that's exactly what she did. The pre-show excitement for the sold-out engagement was palpable. But Diana didn't deliver.

Except for her typically phony, show-biz exclamations like "I can't believe how wonderful you all are!", Diana barely said a word between songs and the effect was very I'm-just-going-through-the-motions-cuz-I've-already-got-your-money vibe. At the very end, when she introduced her band and cracked a joke or two, she actually seemed quite sweet and excited that her "orchestra" for this tour contained live strings and horns. But she missed the vital opportunity to connect with the audience until her encore. Inexplicably, the huge video monitor showed the audience dancing and the musicians at times, but NEVER zoomed in on Miss Ross herself. What a pitiful concept! Was she having a herpes outbreak? From my cheap seats, it could have been Princess Diandra onstage--except that Diandra moves much better than Diana.



I realize that The Boss is now around 70, but in truth, Diana always could have used lessons from any good drag queen on choreography. She's never been much of a dancer, preferring the elegant goddess delivery to down-and-dirty dancer. RuPaul, who idolizes her, is a great dancer. But at some point in their careers, both blacktresses decided "Let some other less gorgeous creature get out there and be the sweaty dancing machine." Diana has precisely 3 moves: stretching out the arms, flicking back the hair and pumping one fist in the air--with the variation of holding the head back with each. Occasionally the band was throwing down some truly slamming arrangements of Mirror, Mirror and Love Child but Diana chose to play it cool and frankly, dull. And how could she be recreating the one of disco's most climactic moments--when the beat kicks in from the slow intro into the main body of Love Hangover--and not feel the magic of her own seismic hit?

I once had dinner with a Motown legend who told me "Diana never could sing." I totally disagree. Her voice is so expressive and feminine--often haunting in it's beauty. There were moments, particularly during the ballads, when her tone was so spellbinding that it was hard to believe she wasn't lip-synching. She also gets major points for costuming. That bitch had on more bugle beads than there were t-cells in the audience. Of course, 3 of the 5 gowns were the same dolman sleeve affairs she's worn for decades but they still sizzled on that fine fox.



She skipped Reach Out And Touch in favor of a medley dedicated to Michael Jackson which began with the lovely Missing You and went into the cheesy Jackson tune You Are Not Alone. Of course, Diana had a history with MJ--when I was a kid Motown's press machine falsely claimed that she'd discovered the Jackson 5--but I couldn't tell if this was truly done out of love or just a calculated way to make the notoriously chilly diva seem warmer and more human. I was delighted when she surprised us with her 90's "hit" Take Me Higher and the Ashford and Simpson reggae-disco gem It's My House.

It's My House seductively likens her home to her love--or if you want to be vulgar as I always do--her vajayjay. "It's my house and I live here." "There's a welcome mat at the door. And if you come on in, you're gonna get much more." "You say you want to move in with me." This point in the show would have been the perfect opportunity to have someone update her act a little with some scripted patter. Playing up the sexual innuendo a little about her home being a little older now but still having open house from time to time. "I've had 5 children so you know the house had to get a little bigger." Or mentioning something topical like "It may be in foreclosure like a lot of homes today, but it's still here" would have gone a long way to bring something, ANYTHING fresh to the table. Maybe that's not classy enough for Miss Ross. But except for Take Me Higher, this show could have been done in 1982! There was absolutely NO mention of anything since--not her family, NOTHING! We were interested enough in you to buy tickets--can you give us a little something something?

In her obligatory Lady Sings The Blues segment, Diana sang one song with some lyrics about something which would make you do things you knew where wrong like drinking and gambling. Can you imagine how the crowd would have beat the walls in a frenzy if she'd included a reference to her drunk driving arrest by adding "Sometimes it'll make you do wrong things like return videos you've rented in Tucson when you're drunk"? Again, not classy enough for Miss Ross but it would have been a way for her to connect with fans like me who have followed her every step of her career and crave something real, personal or simply new from this superstar. But Diane doesn't feel the need to do that. Her facade doesn't break for one second. She has the ability to outstretch her arms in a glittering gown and transport people out of their everyday doldrums with her decades of magical melodies. If that's enough for you, then I recommend her concert. She does sing live, unlike so many of today's "divas". But I'm sorry to say that I prefer Miss Ross on cd.

TRANNY CHASER ALERT!

Friday May 21 from 11pm until 4am

Eden Underground is a monthly gathering exclusively for TV, TS, CD's and Admirers. Nestled away in a residential building in Park Slope Brooklyn, this underground, adult playground is discrete and off the beaten path. A destination for like minded individuals to come together to socialize, flirt and explore fantasies in a supportive environment that stands firm in it's no prostitution/ no drugs policy. Eden Underground is clothing optional as well as BYOB (bring your own booze or beverage). Please call the info message at 718 670 3306 for complete details including the address.

HELP ME FIND MY GIRDLE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GRACE JONES!

MADONNA AND I SWEAR BY THIS PRODUCT!

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BUSTY JANE?

This dementia is coming to NYC and opening tonight at the Laurie Beechman Theater WED-SAT. Of course, the original Baby Jane is hard to touch and many have tried, but leave it Jackie Beat and Selene Luna to murder this!

PURE INSANITY!

MORE BLONDE JOKES!

DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

BIANCA DEL RIO'S TWIN IN SINGAPORE!

THIS QUEEN IS NUTS!

KE$HA: NO AUTOTUNE?

SHE CLAIMS NOT TO USE AUTOTUNE, DESPITE HEAVY EFFECTS ON HER VOCALS. MIGHT I RECOMMEND THAT SHE TRY AUTOOASPHYXIATION?

I LOVE HATE!

TCM SALUTES LENA HORNE

8:00 PM ET The Duke is Tops
9:30 PM ET Cabin in the Sky
11:15 PM ET Panama Hattie

TCM Remembers Lena Horne, 1917-2010

Although Lena Horne never had the movie career she deserved, she managed to make an electrifying impact in her guest appearances and occasional acting roles. An exotic beauty with velvet skin, flashing eyes and a uniquely vibrant voice, she was the first black performer to be signed to a long-term contract by a major film studio (MGM). Because of the tenor of the times (the 1940s and '50s), the studio confined her mostly to isolated numbers that could be cut when the films played the American South. Horne was blacklisted by the film and television industries in the 1950s, possibly because of her sympathetic relationship with Paul Robeson. She compensated for her limited exposure in Hollywood with enormous success in nightclubs and recordings.

Born in 1917 in Brooklyn, Horne left school at age 16 to join the chorus at Harlem's Cotton Club. She made her Broadway debut in a small part in the play Dance with Your Gods in 1934, and her recording debut two years later. Her first film role was in the low-budget, all-black musical The Duke Is Tops (1938), in which she plays a young singer with a small-time band who gets a shot at Broadway. Memorably, she sings "I Know You Remember."

Horne's MGM contract began with one of her "specialty" appearances, singing "Just One of These Things" in the Cole Porter musical Panama Hattie (1942), starring Ann Sothern. Then came a major role in Vincente Minnelli's all-black musical Cabin in the Sky (1943), in which Horne is the seductress who ties to lure Eddie "Rochester" Anderson away from faithful wife Ethel Waters. Horne's songs include "Honey in the Honeycomb" and "Life Is Full of Consequence."

As one of several guest stars in the Gene Kelly/Kathryn Grayson starrer, Thousands Cheer (1943), she sings "Honeysuckle Rose." The specialty routines continued with Horne singing "You're So Indifferent" in Swing Fever (1943), starring bandleader Kay Kyser; "Jericho" in I Dood It (1943), starring Red Skelton; "Paper Doll" in Two Girls and a Sailor (1944), starring June Allyson; and "Brazilian Boogie," "Amor" and "Somebody Loves Me" in Broadway Rhythm (1944).

In Till the Clouds Roll by (1946), a fictionalized biography of Jerome Kern, Horne was given the role of Julie in a condensed version of Show Boat and provides one of the movie's highlights with her smoldering version of "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man." When a full-length version of that musical was made by MGM five years later, Horne -- despite having proved how powerful she could be in the role -- was passed over in favor of her friend Ava Gardner.

It was back to the "guest role" routine for Horne, singing "Love" in the all-star Ziegfeld Follies (1946); "The Lady Is a Tramp" and "Where or When" in Words and Music (1948), starring Mickey Rooney and a host of MGM stars; and "Baby, Come Out of the Clouds" in Duchess of Idaho (1950), starring Esther Williams.

After a long absence from films, Horne returned in a dramatic role opposite Richard Widmark in the Western Death of a Gunfighter (1969). In the movie version of the stage musical The Wiz (1978) she played Glinda the Good Witch in a cast that also included Diana Ross and Michael Jackson.

In the 1980s Horne won a Tony for her one-woman Broadway show, Lena Horne: The Lady and Her Music, in which she subsequently toured with huge international success. Her many honors have included three Grammy Awards including a lifetime achievement award in 1989, and a Kennedy Center award in 1984. In June 1997, her 80th birthday was celebrated with the presentation of the Ella Award for Lifetime Achievement in Vocal Artistry.

LENA HORNE IN THE WIZ



LENA FOR THE GAP--VERY ODD!

KRISTEN CHENOWITH CAN READ!

A GAY NEWSWEEK REVIEWER WROTE AN ARTICLE CLAIMING THAT GAYS CAN'T PLAY STRAIGHT ROLES. MISS CHENOWITH CLEARLY DOESN'T AGREE.

As a longtime fan of Newsweek and as the actress currently starring opposite the incredibly talented (and sexy!) Sean Hayes in the Broadway revival of Promises, Promises, I was shocked on many levels to see Newsweek publishing Ramin Setoodeh’s horrendously homophobic “Straight Jacket,” which argues that gay actors are simply unfit to play straight. From where I stand, on stage, with Hayes, every night — I’ve observed nothing “wooden” or “weird” in his performance, nor have I noticed the seemingly unwieldy presence of a “pink elephant” in the Broadway Theater. (The Drama League, Outer Critics Circle and Tony members must have also missed that large animal when nominating Hayes’ performance for its highest honors this year.)

I’d normally keep silent on such matters and write such small-minded viewpoints off as perhaps a blip in common sense. But the offense I take to this article, and your decision to publish it, is not really even related to my profession or my work with Hayes or Jonathan Groff (also singled out in the article as too “queeny” to play “straight.”)

This article offends me because I am a human being, a woman and a Christian.

AND I, BUNION, AM AGREEING WITH A CHRISTIAN? A CHRISTIAN WHO SUPPORTS GAYS???

READ MORE: BROADWAY.COM

STANK SKANK!

I'M WITH THE GUY IN THE GREY SWEATS!

TOO MUCH COSMETIC SURGERY?

A NY TIMES ARTICLE INTERVIEWS CASTING AGENTS WHO SHY AWAY FROM CASTING BUTCHERED FEMBOTS.

A Little Too Ready for Her Close-Up? by Stephanie Diani for The New York Times

AN EXCERPT:

Television executives at Fox Broadcasting, for example, say they have begun recruiting more natural looking actors from Australia and Britain because the amply endowed, freakishly young-looking crowd that shows up for auditions in Los Angeles suffers from too much sameness.

“I think everyone either looks like a drag queen or a stripper,” said Marcia Shulman, who oversees casting for Fox’s scripted shows.

MORE: NYTIMES

WE WEREN'T ALL MEANT TO HAVE BUBBLE BUTTS!

J-LO WANNABE SAGS WAY-LO

LA BASSEY IN FINE FORM!

I CAN'T FATHOM THE NOTION OF HER GETTING NERVOUS.

NON-MOTHERHOOD

I know you probably don't look to my blog for women's issues, but I thought this was fascinating.

Contrary to the Myth, Abortion is NOT the Most Controversial "Choice" Issue: Words of Caution for Elena Kagan by Keli Goff

AN EXCERPT:

She told me that when she informed her teacher that she was unsure as to whether or not she would ever become a mom her teacher reacted harshly. "You selfish little thing! How could you not want to open your home to a baby? That's why we're here."

MORE: HUFFPO

SOMEONE PLEASE REMIX THIS!

AN ADORABLE INDIAN LADY SINGS QUEEN'S WE WILL ROCK YOU!

WARCH

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I'VE HAD BUTT BABIES BEFORE, BUT REALLY!

MARC BERKLEY O-BITCH-UARY

As many of you know, legendary NYC nightlife promoter Marc Berkley passed away from a heart attack a couple of weeks ago. I attended his funeral and was completely blown away by the love at that gathering. Since Marc had hired nearly every gay in the city during his long reign as the premier club gay impresario, the crowd was an eclectic mix of djs, drag queens, former business partners and even security guards. Now when a straight security guard is at your f#ckin’ funeral and you haven’t even thrown a party in a decade, that’s quite a character reference for a true character the likes of whom we won’t see again.

Many of the attendees I’d never seen in the daylight. I also hadn’t attended a jewish memorial service before and when the rabbi sang a dreadful accapella psalm in Hebrew, I was tempted to tap Junior Vasquez’s shoulder and whisper that this rabbi was the new Ofra Haza and he simply MUST remix this psalm before Offer Nissim got ahold of it. Instead, I horrified/delighted guests by asking where the bar was and if drink tickets from the Tunnel were still valid. I met one of Marc’s brothers who was completely bald but managed to control my urge to mention sarcastically that I had no idea male pattern baldness ran in the Berkley family. (Marc wore a notoriously bad rug in his later years.) Marc would have been tickled pink that there was a line around the door for his very last party. And unlike his other events, the snot pouring out of my nose was actually from sobbing--not from "powdering my nose", as you might call it.

Speakers included Candida Scott Piel, Gil “Bambie Sue” Neary and Marc’s long-term business partner at HX magazine, Matthew Bank. I’ve never laughed so hard at a funeral in my life! I’m certainly no prude, but was a little shocked when Matthew retold one of Marc’s fav college tales. Because his own dorm was a mess, Marc borrowed a friend’s room to take a trick to. After they’d finished, the bed was covered in bodily fluids of white, brown and red. So when the dorm’s occupant came home, he saw the mess on his sheets and asked what the hell had happened. Without missing a beat, Marc replied “Your cat had kittens.” And of course, who could forget Marc's queenius invention of the Jack-Off-In-The-Box? At the Limelight, he placed a go-go boy in a see-through cage with gloves which reached inside, enabling you to manhandle the encased stud. Or tran-handle, as the case may have been.

I knew Marc was a funny, twisted queen, but I didn’t realize how civic-minded he was. He regularly stood on Christopher Street selling buttons to raise money for the first NYC pride parades. (Have you ever done anything like that? Regularly? I know I haven't.) During ACT UP’s infancy, Marc offered to throw a fund-raiser. In his typical way of thinking big, Marc proposed a Grace Jones concert at the Palladium. ACT UP attendees had no clue of how to put this together but Marc secured the Palladium, convinced Grace to do her first AIDS-related benefit ever and sold 5,000 tickets at $20 a pop. It was the organization’s biggest fundraiser to date. Since I often scoff at the politically correct, one story particularly amused me. While he was on the board of the Gay Community Center, the bisexuals met with the head honchos to argue for their inclusion under the gay and lesbian umbrella. For two hours, intricate PC arguments were heard while Marc sat silent. Finally he proclaimed “We don’t have the money to change the letterhead to include the word bisexual. Case closed.”

For his heart, his humor and his unselfish dedication to our community, Marc Berkley will be missed and I feel very lucky to have known him.

KINDA CUTE...

KINDA WRONG AND EXTRA GAY!

PUTIN ON THE RITZ