REPUBLICAN INTO ENGLISH TRANSLATION
From Lady Strgyn: a Republican-to-English dictionary excerpt for those who've been having trouble recently in deciphering speeches and news reports:
Alternative energy sources = New locations to drill for gas and oil
Bankruptcy = A means of escaping debt, available to corporations but not to poor people
"Burning Bush" = A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States, when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire about non-issues
Cheney, Dick = The greater of two evils
Class warfare = Any attempt to raise the minimum wage
Climate change = Progress toward the blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans
Compassionate conservatism = Poignant concern for the very wealthy
Creation science = Pseudo-science that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
DeLay, Tom = Past tense of De Lie
Faith = The belief that the Beatitudes include "Blessed are the rich" and "Blessed are the warmakers."
Free markets = Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense
Girly-men = Males who neglect opportunities to grope unwilling women
God = Senior presidential adviser
Growth = 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich.
2. What happens to the national debt when policy is made according to Definition 1.
Healthy forest = No tree left behind.
Honesty = Lies told in simple declarative sentences (e.g., "Freedom is on the march.")
House of Representatives = Exclusive club; entry fee: $1 million to $5 million (See: Senate.)
Insanity = See: staying the course.
Laziness = When the poor are not working
Leisure time = When the wealthy are not working
Liberal(s) = Followers of the Antichrist
No Child Left Behind = There are always jobs in the military.
Ownership society = 1. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth.
2. A political system in which all power is in the hands of the owners.
Patriot Act = 1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first.
2. The elimination of one of the reasons they hate us.
Pro-life = Valuing human life up until birth
Senate = Exclusive club; entry fee: $10 million to $30 million
Simplify = To cut the taxes of Republican donors
Staying the course = Continuing to perform the same actions and expecting different results (See: insanity.)
Voter fraud = A significant minority turnout
Woman = 1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child.
2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.
Alternative energy sources = New locations to drill for gas and oil
Bankruptcy = A means of escaping debt, available to corporations but not to poor people
"Burning Bush" = A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States, when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire about non-issues
Cheney, Dick = The greater of two evils
Class warfare = Any attempt to raise the minimum wage
Climate change = Progress toward the blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans
Compassionate conservatism = Poignant concern for the very wealthy
Creation science = Pseudo-science that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
DeLay, Tom = Past tense of De Lie
Faith = The belief that the Beatitudes include "Blessed are the rich" and "Blessed are the warmakers."
Free markets = Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense
Girly-men = Males who neglect opportunities to grope unwilling women
God = Senior presidential adviser
Growth = 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich.
2. What happens to the national debt when policy is made according to Definition 1.
Healthy forest = No tree left behind.
Honesty = Lies told in simple declarative sentences (e.g., "Freedom is on the march.")
House of Representatives = Exclusive club; entry fee: $1 million to $5 million (See: Senate.)
Insanity = See: staying the course.
Laziness = When the poor are not working
Leisure time = When the wealthy are not working
Liberal(s) = Followers of the Antichrist
No Child Left Behind = There are always jobs in the military.
Ownership society = 1. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth.
2. A political system in which all power is in the hands of the owners.
Patriot Act = 1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first.
2. The elimination of one of the reasons they hate us.
Pro-life = Valuing human life up until birth
Senate = Exclusive club; entry fee: $10 million to $30 million
Simplify = To cut the taxes of Republican donors
Staying the course = Continuing to perform the same actions and expecting different results (See: insanity.)
Voter fraud = A significant minority turnout
Woman = 1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child.
2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.
posted by Lady Bunny at Saturday, May 13, 2006
3 Comments:
Miss Bunny,
I could not agree more with your politics. Please take heart knowing that thre are progressive activists like me working overtime to try to win the congress back for the liberals.
In the meantime, I will do a bong hit and contemplate saving the world.
xoxo
Miss illness, that is from me, The Lady Esther Gin! "strgyn" is just a code name I use for my email and truck drivers I don't want to call back after I fuck them.
Blabbady blabbidy bla = Gee your wig smells terriffic!
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