GAGA MEETS LARRY KING

Despite the often disengaged tone of her speaking voice, Lady Gaga came off well on Larry King last night. She's intelligent and articulate which makes a huge switch for faggits--considering that their last musical icon was the dunce Shitney Spears. And now gays can really relate to the pop princess: she's tested positive for an autoimmune disease! Werk!



I've always found Larry King to be a crashing bore. I know that the interviewer's personality shouldn't shine through more than their guest's, so maybe he's a genius in this respect. He's certainly been at it for eons. At one point he laughed, kind of at the wrong moment, and bared some long, raggedy-@ss brown teeth. I thought his head might snap off. Surely, he's on the way out.

But Gaga dealt with the dullard in an earnest way--occasionally looking like she might think his question was dumb. But that could have been the delay in the live feed. I was glad he asked her about the origin of calling her fans little monsters because I'd been curious about this myself. Certainly, a hipper host might have brought out her fun-loving side a bit more. But CNN for the hour is a big deal--Obama gets the slot on Thursday--so it was probably in her best interest to tone things down for the typical middle American CNN viewer. And they might be turned off to the hermaphrodite rumors, etc.

Tone things down for CNN, yes. Forfeit your image as a style icon with a terrible dye job and those unflattering Tim Burton-esque glasses, NO! She might have turned off the CNN audience by dressing as a tampon, but she wasn't looking her best. And it's a very bad idea to obscure your eyes for an entire interview unless she wants to seem distant.

She answered the Michael Jackson question candidly. She mentioned one thing I'll never understand: how great she thought it was that before he was being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance after explosives ignited his head, he put his rhinestone glove on to wave to his fans. She claimed this was show business. I suppose it is, but I've never understood the praise Michael got for this. I think it's truly sick to be in an ambulance after burning your wig off and think PUT YOUR GLOVE ON FOR THE FANS. Hungh? I'd say forget the fans and focus on being a burn victim. If your fans can't sympathize with you in an ambulance in critical condition without you entertaining them, then they're a bunch of needy trolls living in a fantasy world. Surely, they should concern themselves with your health if they love you so damn much. People do seem to need icons to live through more than I do, so I guess that glove was a signal from the King of Pop that he would continue to reign. I thought it was phony and stupid--if you're in a damn ambulance you focus on your health, not a f#cking costume change. But Lady Gaga and many others obviously disagree.

I missed the very last segment, but I've got to say that Alejandro is a dreadful song. With it's mid-tempo spanish/gypsy groove, it reminds me of Madonna's horrid Isla Bonita. Except in an attempt to make it edgy, this schlock is overloaded with grating synthesizers. And these lyrics are laughable:

You know that I love you boy.
Hot like Mexico, rejoice.

Hot like Mexico, rejoice? Really? She mentioned that she's writing her next album on the road--can someone please get her a rhyming dictionary?