TASERING CELEBRITIES

CBS's new reality show casts several B-list celebs, including Erik Estrada and LaToya Jackson, as cop trainees. This video clip showed them getting tasered. LaToya is so phony and stupid that she doesn't even know how to sincerely act like she's been hurt, even when she probably has been hurt by the electric shock. As much as I despise reality TV. I'd almost like to direct this show, so I could do enough takes of the tasering scene to do serious damage to anyone wrong enough to want to be cast on this show. Call me weird, but I'd like to see LaToya get tasered until blood squirts out of the snake slits she and Michael and Janet call their nose. I wonder what actual police officers would hink of this show? Though there are a lot of things wrong with our police force, they do put their lives on the line on a daily basis, so maybe if one of these has-been stars were to be killed "on duty", there would be enough public outcry to end moronic reality TV once and for all.

But since reality show casts are so willing to eat worms, get stranded on desert islands, live together in wacky houses, work for that Trump asshole, show their naked, flabby figures on Celebrity Fit Club and even compete for the love of that ugly-ass junkyard dog and washed up rapper Flava Flav, maybe we should send all these fame-hungry idiots to fight in Iraq with a camera crew to watch them get maimed and killed instead of the poor soldiers, whose tours of duty have just been raised to four year terms of gruelling (and losing) combat. And because competition is such an important part of the reality show formula, maybe some celebs could dress as Iraqis and battle their US counterparts. I'd definitely tune in to seethe revolting New York from FLAVA OF LOVE duelling to the death with her equally disgusting mother. And I wouldn't mind seeing SURREAL LIFE's Tawny Kitaen demonstrating how suicide bombing is done.