RE-INTRODUCING, MISS ANN THRAX!

Can you believe that the president comes out with a "new" "strategy" for Iraq which is widely denounced and presto! Miss Anthrax mysteriously reappears in courthouses of Palm Beach, Lauderdale and yesterday, in Allentown, PA. If you'll recall, the anthrax in the 2001 scare was analyzed and found to be a of variety only manufactured in the US labs. So it didn't come from the multitudes of "turrorists", as Bush calls them, overseas. Isn't it a little odd that just when the president needs more support for his delusional foreign policies, anthrax reappears? Let's raise the threat level again--we haven't done that in while! Hey, they can kill two turds with one stone and terrify those damned activist judges who murdered Terry Schaivo right in their very own workplaces! Or am I just Little Miss Conspiracy Theory? (All chime in simultaneously: Heifer, you ain't "little" Miss Anything!) CNN reported that one person exposed to the envelope in Allentown "became ill." How odd! Despite a threatening letter stating that the correspondence contains anthrax, upon investigation, it turned out to be Cream Of Wheat! I know, I know! That gluey gruel makes me feel a little sick to my stomach too. Too bad the Cream of Wheat story wasn't considered breaking news and covered as heavily, so if you only catch a bit of the news, you'll get the impression that we're under attack again and even our mail's unsafe--so you'd better support a strong if retarded president's troop escalation.

No one got sick from the real anthrax sent to Florida courthouses, though I think 5 people who were exposed had to be decontaminated. (Anyone know where I can get this procedure done in the NY area? Those high colonics aren't working too well for me any more.) But the federal government gave up their brief investigation and turned it over to local authorities. Maybe they didn't want to find out the source... Funny how post-9/11 the news featured a crash course almost daily on every possible form of chemical attack--you could almost walk outside or step on a subway and taste the sarin, ricin and mustard gas and every envelope was carefully shaken and examined opened with suspicion of a powdery substance. Particularly the credit card bills.

What's next up to scare us? Bombing an embassy? Whoops, I forgot that the our government just engineered--I mean suffered--an embassy bombing in Greece. Condi's off to the Middle East to win support for Bush's "new" Iraq plan. Great idea! Send a hag like Condo-loser to charm them into greenlighting a blueprint for lasting chaos in their entire region. Since the jet-setting diplomat was out of the country, her deputy was being interviewed on CNN and he so robotically spat out his republican talking points, that he seemed almost happy about the attack! (It was hardly much of a tragedy. Even though US diplomats have been regularly killed in Greece for 20 years, this attack, with a missile-launched grenade, broke a window. Woo hoo! Headline news! Terrorist organizations with all the power of a kid playing baseball with bad aim. ) Twice the deputy/assistant--I didn't catch the botoxed-looking fag's name--remarked that it's wonderful that the Greek government had our back. Fags! Stop your fantasies about "greek" anal action and focus! He was so desperate to demonstrate that the rest of the world is with us that he ignores the fact that ANY foreign government would investigate ANY bombing on ANY embassy in ANY country. And honey, we all know that even the majority of people in THIS country aren't down with the policies Bush and Condi are off to peddle.



PS: I realize that Lady Bunny is something of an unusual name. But I'm an entertainer, not in public office! Imagine the snickers worldwide when Miss Condoleezza Rice is introduced in staterooms! I'm all for creativity, but has anyone ever heard of this hideous name before? The double z really ups the ante on it's rottenness. And then to add Rice as the last name? She sounds like some exotic dish--though this homely gal is certainly no dish by anyone's assessment. Hey! Maybe that's the secret of her name. Her Alabammy mammy hadn't quite decided on their child's name, but when her fugly frog face popped out, she realized that pretty girly-girl names like Tiffany and Samantha were way out of the question. The mug that would sell out it's race and the rest of the nation one day inspired a unanimous cry of "That's a Condoleezza!" The doctor then mistakenly spanked her face and thus a great tragedy was born. (Cue the thunder clap sound effect.)