December 03, 2005

HOW MANY CHRISTIANS...

...DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?


Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic : None
Candles only.

Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians : ??
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to the pitch-in.

Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review the church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish :
What's a light bulb?

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pagans - 1
We make our own light, with the help of the spirits around us. My bulb just went out, watch me create light. . .almost. . .hang on, I've done this before. . .it just takes a moment. . .ah screw it, I'll just put in a new bulb.

11:50 PM  

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