NO HUNKS FOR DRUNKS

Hey! Can someone get me an agent in England? I might snag a lucrative booze commercial thanks to this new ruling! It's quite ridiculous really. They are trying to disassociate sex appeal from alcoholic beverages by using unattractive, fat, balding guys, but we all know that when you've slung back a few, your standards drop way down anyway and you'll fuck anything. Or is that just me? But what's really kooky is: SINCE WHEN DO YOU NEED TO ADVERTISE ALCHOHOL CONSUMPTION IN ANY PART OF THE UK?

full article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1710050,00.html

Sorry Girls, The Hunks Are Banned

Drinks companies have been ordered to hire paunchy, balding men for advertisements to meet new rules forbidding any link between women’s drinking and sex. Watchdogs have issued a list of undesirable male characteristics that advertisers must abide by in order to comply with tougher rules designed to separate alcohol from sexual success.

Lambrini, the popular sparkling drink, is the first to suffer. Its manufacturers have complained after watchdogs rejected its latest campaign because it depicted women flirting with a man who was deemed too attractive.

The offending poster featured three women “hooking” a slim, young man in a parody of a fairground game scene. Harmless fun to lead its summer campaign, Lambrini argued.

But the Committee of Advertising Practice declared: “We would advise that the man in the picture should be unattractive — overweight, middle-aged, balding etc.”

The ruling continued: “We consider that the advert is in danger of implying that the drink may bring sexual/social success, because the man in question looks quite attractive and desirable to the girls. If the man was clearly unattractive, we think that this implication would be removed.”

The ruling comes after ministers’ warnings to the drinks industry to take measures to tackle binge-drinking or face legislation.

The new CAP code instructs that “links must not be made between alcohol and seduction, sexual activity or sexual success”. Romance and flirtation are not forbidden but adverts must not be aimed at the under-18s or use celebrities in a “sexy” or “cool” manner.

The Bacardi adverts that turned Vinnie Jones into a “party animal” would now be banned, and the measure could affect George Clooney’s £2.5million deal to advertise Martini.

The similarly desirable Brad Pitt reportedly earned £4 million for his recent Heineken advert, which was shown mainly in America. However, the family-sized Peter Kay will presumably be approved to retain his John Smith’s contract.

Lambrini’s makers complained that the ruling was offensive to a large tranche of the male population. Are Jack Nicholson, Bruce Willis, Sean Connery and Ray Winstone unattractive to women, the company asked? John Halewood, the Lambrini owner, said: “The watchdog makes some very understandable rulings to encourage sensible drinking but we’re not sure they’re qualified to decide for the nation who’s sexy and who’s not. “Beauty is, after all, in the eye of the beholder.” Lambrini has now recreated its advert employing a balding, male figure whose lack of pulchritude has proved acceptable to the watchdog.