THE HIDDEN HUMOR OF DEBBIE HARRY

OK, we all know she's gorgeous and a super-talented, ultra-cool rock star. But did you know that she's also total scream with a hilarious dead-pan delivery? Someone asked why on earth I went to see War of The Worlds. Well, it was partly because it was an excuse to hang with the Debster, who is close with my friend Miss Guy. Guy says that Debbie likes to act like she's scared of me. (Maybe she's not acting!) But I did have Christmas dinner at her pad in Joisey and so we are more comfortable around each other now.

But as a queen who came of age in New Wave's heyday, part of me is still ga-ga over even knowing her, and god knows she's still an inspiring fox with those alpine cheekbones and bee-stung lips. I never really believed that she was going to show up at Wigstock and gagged when she showed up backstage in a wig. So I tend to overcompensate for my nerves by acting iller than I ever would around anyone else. I just figure that like most big stars, she's experienced enough ass-kissing to last a lifetime and she would rather you would be yourself so there is a real exchange, not just fan-crazed drool. And trust me, she's just as ill as I am.

When we met at War of The Worst I was dieting (unsuccessfully) and told her that I was dying to hog some popcorn and candy. She said "Why don't you get one of those pacifiers that you can put in your mouth which stave off the cravings to put something in it. "I said "Well, Debbie, I don't think that would work for me but I know it works for your cunt." She said "No it doesn't."

One time I saw her approaching the opposite side of the street so I made sure I was in her path and started digging through a trash can while muttering and scratching my head like a homeless retard. She passed me, saw me, and kept on walking. Completely deflated by my flopping attempt at humor, I called "Debbie!" And she said "I just kept on walking cuz I didn't see anything out of the ordinary."

Wigstock 2001: She graced us with another performance at our last festival on the pier. after her fab performance of ATOMIC and the ensuing tumultuos applause, I told her that "As a way to thank you for joining us at Wigstock, I am prepared to fuck you." She said "Bunny! You say that every year and you never deliver."

She referred me to a friend who wanted to book me to perform at their party and I was pumping her for info about them and telling her "My act is dirty, and it isn't right for every crowd." She said "But what about that clown act you do for kids?" And I told her very seriously "Debbie, I do have a clown act that I do for kids, but I don't don't accept payment for it. I do it in order to molest the kids. It's something that I have to do, but it's not something that I would ever want you to see me do". And she said "Aw Bunny, you are so sweet."