Just what I needed! A low-heeled sandal which flattens and lengthens the foot so that it looks like a ski to enlarge my already massive hooves. And which are open to sucking up dirt, pebbles, sand and dog shit with each step. But who cares as long as I can take series wherever I go and document every idiotic second of my life? Except that mine will be taken underneath my third chin since I can't kick that high. Ma birthday's in August. Just sayin'.