BRAY THE GAY AWAY BY MIKE DIAMOND

This is by my friend Mike Diamond. We share a feeling that while gays deserve all the same rights straights have, we don't want to lose our own very rich culture and become a part of anyone else's. He's very funny. Sadly, 3/4 comments claim to not get it. Does this prove, as Mike suggests, that gays have lost their edge? "The closest I come to marriage is sleeping with other people's husbands. It's not that I'm incapable of forging a real, lasting relationship. Sometimes I even tell a trick my real name! But if I'm being totally honest, when it comes to gay marriage, I just don't care. I think marriage is a religious construct, monogamy is a fiction, and assimilation is for fools. Look at the culture around us: boring, bougie-ass, high-fructose-corn-syrup-loving, Prozac'd and Botoxed shopping zombies (aka "shombies"), consumerist cogs in the capitalist machine, all numbed by frozen pizzas and The Real Housewives of Amerikkka. You want to assimilate into that?" MORE: HUFFPO