JUST FINISHED VOTING AND....

I HAVE NEVER SEEN LINES THIS LONG IN 20 YEARS OF LIVING IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD!

The process of voting is so uniquely exhilarating! It pushed my adrenaline button so hard that to unwind afterward, I flew over to the gym and raced through an unprecedented 45 seconds of cardio. Then I zipped through a dozen crunches--Nestle's Crunches. Fearing I might be overdoing it a tad, I hit the steam room--but not before slathering myself with a thick, emollient lotion which guards against bed bug transmission. I would never knowingly spread the bugs with anyone I wasn't sleeping with. Confident that I was all safe, I laid back and inhaled the healing vapors of lavender, eucalyptus, MRCA and meningitis. After such a stressful morning with all my hopes and dreams for this great nation aggravated by the chaos at the polls, I melted into such a deep state of relaxation that I got fisted thrice without even opening my eyes. The thrilling process of Democracy at work, my friends and cuntymen! I do hope you'll try it today!