March 20, 2007

A LETTER TO HETEROSEXUALS

FROM THE LA TIMES:

An aging 72-year-old gay man isn't hopeful about the future.

By Larry Kramer, LARRY KRAMER is the founder of the protest group ACT UP and the author of "The Tragedy of Today's Gays."
March 20, 2007

DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE,

Why do you hate gay people so much?

Gays are hated. Prove me wrong. Your top general just called us immoral. Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, is in charge of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian troops, some fighting for our country in Iraq. A right-wing political commentator, Ann Coulter, gets away with calling a straight presidential candidate a faggot. Even Garrison Keillor, of all people, is making really tacky jokes about gay parents in his column. This, I guess, does not qualify as hate except that it is so distasteful and dumb, often a first step on the way to hate. Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama tried to duck the questions that Pace's bigotry raised, confirming what gay people know: that there is not one candidate running for public office anywhere who dares to come right out, unequivocally, and say decent, supportive things about us.

Gays should not vote for any of them. There is not a candidate or major public figure who would not sell gays down the river. We have seen this time after time, even from supposedly progressive politicians such as President Clinton with his "don't ask, don't tell" policy on gays in the military and his support of the hideous Defense of Marriage Act. Of course, it's possible that being shunned by gays will make politicians more popular, but at least we will have our self-respect. To vote for them is to collude with them in their utter disdain for us.

Don't any of you wonder why heterosexuals treat gays so brutally year after year after year, as your people take away our manhood, our womanhood, our personhood? Why, even as we die you don't leave us alone. What we can leave our surviving lovers is taxed far more punitively than what you leave your (legal) surviving spouses. Why do you do this? My lover will be unable to afford to live in the house we have made for each other over our lifetime together. This does not happen to you. Taxation without representation is what led to the Revolutionary War. Gay people have paid all the taxes you have. But you have equality, and we don't.

And there's no sign that this situation will change anytime soon. President Bush will leave a legacy of hate for us that will take many decades to cleanse. He has packed virtually every court and every civil service position in the land with people who don't like us. So, even with the most tolerant of new presidents, gays will be unable to break free from this yoke of hate. Courts rule against gays with hateful regularity. And of course the Supreme Court is not going to give us our equality, and in the end, it is from the Supreme Court that such equality must come. If all of this is not hate, I do not know what hate is.

Our feeble gay movement confines most of its demands to marriage. But political candidates are not talking about--and we are not demanding that they talk about--equality. My lover and I don't want to get married just yet, but we sure want to be equal.

You must know that gays get beaten up all the time, all over the world. If someone beats you up because of who you are--your race or ethnic origin--that is considered a hate crime. But in most states, gays are not included in hate crime measures, and Congress has refused to include us in a federal act.

Homosexuality is a punishable crime in a zillion countries, as is any activism on behalf of it. Punishable means prison. Punishable means death. The U.S. government refused our requests that it protest after gay teenagers were hanged in Iran, but it protests many other foreign cruelties. Who cares if a faggot dies? Parts of the Episcopal Church in the U.S. are joining with the Nigerian archbishop, who believes gays should be put in prison. Episcopalians! Whoever thought we'd have to worry about Episcopalians?

Well, whoever thought we'd have to worry about Florida? A young gay man was just killed in Florida because of his sexual orientation. I get reports of gays slain in our country every week. Few of them make news. Fewer are prosecuted. Do you consider it acceptable that 20,000 Christian youths make an annual pilgrimage to San Francisco to pray for gay souls? This is not free speech. This is another version of hate. It is all one world of gay-hate. It always was.

Gays do not realize that the more we become visible, the more we come out of the closet, the more we are hated. Don't those of you straights who claim not to hate us have a responsibility to denounce the hate? Why is it socially acceptable to joke about "girlie men" or to discriminate against us legally with "constitutional" amendments banning gay marriage? Because we cannot marry, we can pass on only a fraction of our estates, we do not have equal parenting rights and we cannot live with a foreigner we love who does not have government permission to stay in this country. These are the equal protections that the Bill of Rights proclaims for all?

Why do you hate us so much that you will not permit us to legally love? I am almost 72, and I have been hated all my life, and I don't see much change coming.

I think your hate is evil.

What do we do to you that is so awful? Why do you feel compelled to come after us with such frightful energy? Does this somehow make you feel safer and legitimate? What possible harm comes to you if we marry, or are taxed just like you, or are protected from assault by laws that say it is morally wrong to assault people out of hatred? The reasons always offered are religious ones, but certainly they are not based on the love all religions proclaim.

And even if your objections to gays are religious, why do you have to legislate them so hatefully? Make no mistake: Forbidding gay people to love or marry is based on hate, pure and simple.

You may say you don't hate us, but the people you vote for do, so what's the difference? Our own country's democratic process declares us to be unequal. Which means, in a democracy, that our enemy is you. You treat us like crumbs. You hate us. And sadly, we let you.

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Larry, my hero.

11:35 AM  
Blogger middleagesteve said...

Dear Mr. Kramer
Maybe some day we will get what we want from them....however until then we will be a thorn in their side, we will never go away, we will continue to have self respect and pride within ourselves, we don't need them for that.....we have money. We live good personal and professional lives and rich inner lives, you are right about everything, you always have been.....we are stronger then them.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

What's even more sad is that I scarcely miss the company of the heterosexuals anymore...they have absolutely nothing that I want or need. We've become a society that's polarized between gay and hetero. And none of us really wants to do anything about that (on our side, I think we can hardly be blamed for that). Until straight people find a different "other" to demonize, that will always be.

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, Larry, what am I to do, languish in offal?

Is this what I have to look forward to if I live to be 72?

Your letters always imply action

Is the prescription here wretched commiseration?

9:49 PM  
Blogger Tim Hurley said...

As I sat in the audience at one of Larry’s readings at Bard College a couple years ago, I thought, “He would make such a perfect president”. It is the straight people who are helping hate gays, while I don’t think the gays are feeling that same hate towards straights. Larry will always be a hero to me!

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a black straight woman. I'm 35 years old. I'm just sad. This letter made me cry. I have to agree, things don't look good. It's a shame how this current administration has really done an amazing job at vilifying homosexuality. It amazes me how people have really bought into this. Nobody's asking questions. I just came from South Carolina. I hadn't been there in 10 years. God, things have changed. Travelling down South, I saw soo much bigotry and hatred. Goodness, we're going back in time. It's fucking scary. Yes, I'm a Christian but Christians scare the hell out of me. "Jesus, save me from your followers!" All this bible thumping condemnation.

I do think that more gays and lesbians should come out of the closet. Why? Hiding allows people to be bullys and trample your rights, freedoms, and humanity.

Rant over.

PS love this blog.

10:12 PM  
Blogger Fashion Lady Magazine said...

We would like to interview presidential hopeful, Doctor Larry Kramer for an upcoming issue of Fashion Lady Magazine (and not ome of those back door blurbs either- a cover story!)

Woo!

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...We have money. We live good personal and professional lives and rich inner lives..."
Hey Middle Aged Steve, how about all the young, old, and middle aged GLBT people spread out all over the country who DON'T have money, or a professional career, or a lawyer, or a gay-zoned ghetto to hide in? You metro-homos who control the gay media and advocacy organizations always assume that you lead both the average as well as the ideal GLBT lifestyle. As long as you've got yours and can cocoon yourselves in your insulated bourgeois world of antiquing and conspicuous consumption, fuck everybody else, right? The hetero public sees us as privileged, elitist pets of the ruling class instead of an oppressed minority thanks to you and yours. You're part of the problem.

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