June 09, 2006

WHITNEY'S SPEECH



COMMENCEMENT SPEECH,
WHITNEY HOUSTON,
EAST SOUTHERN
UNIVERSITY,
JUNE 9, 2006.

BY JEN MICHALSKI

- - - -

Thank y'all for coming to see me tonight. How are you doing? Let's get this party started, yeah! (Assistant whispers to Whitney.) Oh, oh right. What college is this? East Southern University. Well, hello, ESU. ESU, ESU, ESUUUUU (dances). Let me start by saying, I believe that children are our future ... (hums) ... lead the way ... show them all the beauty they possess inside ... shit it's hot. (Wipes brow and drops fur coat to the ground.) Why you having this shit outside, anyway? You never heard of air conditioning? Where's Bobby? Bobby? You know, I got to tell you a little secret. Just between you and me. (Leans over the podium.) The demons are after Bobby. I try to protect him now, 'cause he's my man, and you ain't mess with my lair, my family. 'Cause family is the most important thing in your life. You need to find a man that has your back, that will do anything for you, deal with your shit, literally, your black love. But what can I say? (Shakes head repeatedly.) Demons after him ... But, Bobby, baby, I just want you to know IIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love yooooooooooouuuuu. (Assistant whispers to Whitney, points to note cards on podium.) All right, right now, don't you be bossing Whitney around. (Rummages through note cards.) Who got my glasses? Shit. (Tosses cards into air.) No one needs to tell me how to live life. I am Whitney Houston, baby. I can tell you all you need to know about being a success in life, 'cause I'm a diva. You know, they say everybody searching for a hero ... people need someone to look up to ... Well, let me tell you—I never found anyone to fulfill my needs ... so I learned to depend on me. You can't depend on nobody but yourself. Everybody is out to get you. The tabloids, the demons, the bitch ass at the Chinese place that always messes up my order. The only person I depend on to get through the day is God and Whitney. If you have God, if I have God, they can't take away our dignity! We'll have the greatest love of all. Inside of me. And let me tell you something else. You succeed in the world like I have, you don't do cheap shit, OK, Diane Sawyer? Crack is cheap. I make too much for me to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight, OK? We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is whack. Stay in school, I tell you. You got to stay in school. (Assistant whispers to Whitney.) Right, right, right. OK, you out of school now. Well, use your education to be a lawyer or banker or teacher or something. I didn't need an education. God gave me a voice to sing, and when you have that, what other gimmick is there? So find your strength in love, baby. Where's Bobby? Bobby? Who's that in the front row—the demon with the black robes on? They're everywhere, hundreds of black-robed demons! Bobby, they coming for you! Get my gun out of the Lincoln, baby. (Knocks over podium, revealing pajama pants worn over a bathing suit.) Hold on, baby. God is on his way. He told me to hold on. He's on his way. Where's my pistol, goddamn it?!?


STATEMENT RELEASED BY
WHITNEY HOUSTON ENTERPRISES,
JUNE 10, 2006.

Because of the hectic demands placed on her by her performance at the 2006 Olympics back in February, Ms. Houston has been suffering from severe exhaustion and regrets that any part of her commencement speech at East Southern University was taken out of context. Ms. Houston believes that education is the greatest priority a young mind should have, and she is proud of the young men and women at ESU who made a commitment to education and saw it through. She wishes all recent graduates much success in the work force and hopes that her own perseverance and determination will serve as an inspiration to those who are in the midst of achieving their dreams.

14 Comments:

Blogger Sharon said...

damn thos demons!

lmao

6:44 AM  
Blogger Aaron said...

I'll bet Cissy just slides down in her chair whenever Whitney opens her mouth these days...what a shame. And what a waste of talent!

Personally, my demons all wear green robes and fezes and make pancakes in church parking lots.
Come to think of it, those are Knights of Columbus, not demons. But it's sort of the same thing.

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that fo' rizzle, my bizzltch? Shizzle, my nizzle. Damn!

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Headed for a meltdown.. oh yeah!

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THAT WAS FUNNY DID SHE REALLY SAY THAT
PORTFOLIO
SUMMER

5:59 PM  
Blogger RJ said...

Yikes!
www.photoart247.com

3:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IF THIS IS FOR REAL, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE IN THE WORLD "East Southern University"

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ignunce!, that writer tapped into the crack addled head of Whitney Houston and created a scarily real situation.

Evbody knows Whitney don't get out no mo. She jus sit pleasin herself with a 14" toy and lookin' for her missin' teef.

9:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is no "East Southern University". This thing was just a hoax. Don't believe everything you read.

--
IF THIS IS FOR REAL, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE IN THE WORLD "East Southern University"

6:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Started out as an e-mail spam Fwd. No college or university would be stupid enough to invite her to speak (cause she probably would talk like that). And do you really think she would do it if anyone would ask?

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok, who drives a Lincoln?? GHETTO! And was anyone really debating on getting a crqacked out bitch in pajama bottoms and a swim top a pistol? For real!

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great article! Thanks.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for interesting article.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent website. Good work. Very useful. I will bookmark!

5:04 AM  

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