LAURA'S XMAS LETTER

Dearest Brothers and Sisters in Jesus Christ,

Holiday -- oopsie, I mean CHRISTMAS (as in "you darn well better be celebrating the love of MY particular Lord or can just shut the H-E-double-L up!") -- Greetings from the Bush Family! We hope that the one and only true Messiah's Birthday finds you and your traditional nuclear family as happy, healthy, and, more importantly, prosperous as our own. As I dictate this letter from the heated outdoor pool here at Camp David, a lovely snow is gently drifting down all around me, and a wonderful, festive-smelling steam is rising from the 100-proof "Jolly Gin" hot toddy I am slurping out of my 72-ounce Thermos.

My goodness, it's so hard to believe that 2005 is already drawing to a close. Why, it seemed like every time George and I had almost caught our heavily-minted breath, I was time for yet another month-long vacation. I'm sure I don't need to tell any of you out there about how exhausting not working can be! Nevertheless, before we hunker down for the serious pre-New Years libations, I wanted to take a minute to send a heartfelt, highly personal family update to you, our dear friend/neighbor/colleague/mother-in-law/patron/sycophant. (Circle one.)

George has now been at His current job for almost five whole years. Overall, He continues to enjoy it as much as any of the previous jobs Ma Bar badgered Him into, despite the many frustrating challenges and surprises it presents Him with. If you can believe it – given His landslide 2.7% paperless electronic vote victory last fall – certain fickle busybodies still persist in expecting my hubby to care about anyone's well-being or opinions but His own. But it's like I tell everyone, "Don't feel all put out and angry when George pointedly ignores your advice. Half the time, He even tells Jesus to take a hike -- especially when he is blabbing on about all that New Testament pacifistic, socialist nonsense." Given everything though, I am so proud of George for becoming so comfortable with the job that he is now able to squeeze in time for His beloved mid-day naps - even right smack-dab in the middle of a press conference!

Our darling daughter Jenna has blossomed into ripe and boisterous womanhood, and nary a month goes by when George and I do not marvel at her seemingly limitless capacity for adventure, cover-charges and stimulation. I trust that if you heard recent reports of a cocaine dealer supposedly having Jenna's purse with $1,000 in cash in it, you joined me in a feeling of profound vexation that someone who looks just like my lovely Christian daughter is walking around with her purse and driver's license buying drugs!


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