PETA'S 25TH ANNIVERSARY GALA

This past Saturday, after a Friday night dj gig in Cranberry, PA (My Cranberry debut!), I attended the glittering PETA 25 Gala on the Paramount lot in Los Angeles. Immediately upon exiting my date's flashy Honda Civic, the paparrazi went nuts, shouting "Bunny, over here! I mean over there! Get out of the way! We can't see Pamela Anderson with your big ass in the way!" Harumph! So perhaps I'm a little better known on the east coast. Big deal.



Undaunted, I opted to eat my jealousy and show Pamela a few new poses which might add pizzazz to her usual "I'm a slut" repetoire. She almost got the hang of it. I guess that particular pose works a little better when you're wearing a thrift store skirt-as-cape/dress/mini-moo-moo effect which enables you to work your pleated wings and fly away. But I suppose "the Marilyn Monroe of our day" doesn't have a gut to conceal. That tall, handsome gentleman on the left is Dan Matthews, the brilliant pr whiz and general nutcase behind PETA's popular "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" ads.



Even taller than Dan (and just as handsome) is his boyfriend Todd, who at almost 7 feet, is one of the few men who can actually dwarf me and make me look petite. But don't let the good looks fool ya--this thing is DEMENTED!



Bumped into Elaine Lancaster of Miami and the divine Casandra Peterson (aka Elvira) and met Tracy Bingham, who seems like a lot of fun. She was dragging us all over that red carpet! Speaking of Divine, my post-Wigstock pot and desserts binge has paid off. A couple of people were even shouting "Divine!" Not that means I look like her, even though Divine did have a very pretty face. But people have also called out RuPaul or Boy George at me. I guess to some people, all of us trannies look alike.



I marched up to PETA spokesman Alec Baldwin and demurely asked him if "I could have a picture with the handsomest man there?" He said "Sure!" and I asked him to move out of the way so I could get to a guy who stood behind him, at which he howled and then took a couple snaps with me. I'd never met him, but I always figure that celebs get so sick of ass-kissers that they probably WANT obnoxious kooks to break the monotony a bit.



New PETA spokesmodel and puerto rican temptress Roselyn Sanchez looked hot in what Kathy Najimy described later at the awards ceremony as a "doily." Now Kathy, from one pig to another, you know good and well you'd LOVE to be able to wear that fucking doily if we only could. Well, maybe as a scarf.



Always wanted to see this sexy devil from No Doubt up close and personal-like. So many celebs in LA! Last night I went to a restaurant called the Silver Spoon where it's said that Shelly Winters (with half a mouthful of teeth) hangs out. I wonder if she uses Madame's old line: "These are my summer teeth. Summer there, and some ain't!" Another regular is Rip Taylor. Apparently they shot his cameo in The Aristocrats there cuz it was the only place they could find him! Also at the PETA affair: Ron Jeremy, Shirley Jone, and Denise Rod-wo-man. Oh, and presenters included Jamie Lee Curtis, in a sImple knee-length black dress which nicely concealed her donkey-dick. Retarded Elaine greeted Jamie with "Mama!" on the red carpet and Jamie was the only star to ignore her. So Elaine said, "Oh, grandmama?" as Jamie marched by. The producer of the QTV segment Elaine was doing interviews for told Elaine to be nice so they could come back. So Elaine asked her producer, "What on earth would a drag queen cause so much trauma in her for? Is she a transsexual or hermaphrodite or something? Or was it that her father was a bi-sexual or something?" Elaine rules--occasionally!



I always told myself that I would not load up my site with dumb ME WITH CELEB photos, but here I am doing it. Digital cameras and blogger.com have made it so easy! Of course, that's if you know how to operate the camera, which several people I handed it to did not. One said "It's red and it's flickering." "Sounds like my asshole!" I fired back. Enough "hot" talk. So here I am, not only loading up a zillion pix with me and celebs, but one that's so blurry you can barely make out the star. It's PINK, who I referred to as STINK all night. She was in great spirits and gave a rousing bad-ass acceptance speech for her award, looking quite beautiful with her mom in tow. When the mom asked me for a photo I complained to Pink that her mama was bugging me and asked if alcoholism ran in her family. She replied with a hiccup.



Kristine W (left) was there to perform a number with Sheila E, who tore it up with one of her explosive drum solos. In case you haven't heard it, Kristine and Patti Labelle have covered Kristine' s beautiful song LAND OF THE LIVING on Patti's new album. Definitely worth checking out on itunes.



After I had alienated most of the celebrities with photo requests and by whispering to them during dinner that I had a flask filled with chicken gravy if they wanted any, I decided to hang out with some of the little people. I didn't mind as I've always been one to eye the help at fancy catered affairs. So to all 30 of the mexican cooks I gave my number too, I'm still waiting, caballeros! These PETA gals were a hoot.



After a few too many vegan white russians, I do declare I can scarcely recall how the night ended...





(Looks like someone ate a little "meat" at the PETA event.)