BEAT THE HEAT: SAFETY TIPS FOR REPUBLICANS

Step up your exercise regime.

Dressing in heavy layers will cool you by wicking off sweat.
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If you're off work, today is perfect for catching up on ironing. After doing laundry. Mildew can be such a problem in the summer that running your dryers on high for an extra cycle will eliminate this risk.

A day off from work gives you the perfect opportunity to ensure that your heaters are working properly so that any kinks can be worked out well in advance. And chilly winter temperatures are right around the corner!

Check in on elderly relatives and monitor their heating closely, 90 degrees being the ideal temperature. Though it may seem hot to you, older folks' poor circulation can give them chills even in the warmest weather. Heavy blankets can also help guard against pneumonia.

Under no circumstances should you operate your air conditioners as they'll stress out the power grid.

Hydrate frequently. With plenty of hot beverages.


Eat refrigerated dishes like egg and potato salad which require a lot of
boiling. Of course, these go perfectly with whatever you like to grill.
Indoor grilling is all the rage this summer.

Have left over fireworks? Throw them directly onto the flames after cooking and gather the family around the grill to enjoy. Those silly safety regulations are lies perpetrated by the same liberal commies who want to take your guns away.



Now you have a happy 5th!