June 08, 2010


Elton recently performed at conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh's wedding. This raised quite a few eyebrows since Rush is generally regarded as the leader of the republican party aka Satan aka not just the enemy of gay rights but the enemy of all things progressive. This queen really let Sir Elton have it!


Dear Elton,

Yesterday you earned $1,000,000.00 performing at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding. You’ll have to excuse me, but I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around your manner of thinking here. Could you please take a moment when things calm down to tell me what in gay hell that was all about?

I just don’t get you, Elton. (Said the rest of the world at least once a month for decades.) Your actions have been notoriously puzzling for the better part of forty years. Such mystery! Honestly, you are not some enigma wrapped in a riddle, Elton. Rather, you are a turd wrapped in bacon. That bacon-wrapped turd is then rolled in diamonds and placed under a hot stage light to cook until it’s baked on the outside, but retains a cool dark center. You are a turd mignon.

I don’t know when you’ve had the misfortune to spend time with Mr. Limbaugh before now, but it is apparent that he slipped you a mickey with a bunch of crap out of his well-stocked medicine cabinet.

Let’s go back in time…