CLAG-GONE!

I had to consult the urbandictionary.com to figure out what a "clag" was. I imagine that it's a UK term since no american urban dictionary would use arse for ass. Anyhoo, Here is their definition:

1. clag

when arse hair gets matted together with shit when you don't wipe your bottom properly.
i had to soak the clag in the bath before i could pull it off
(it was still painful though)

Now that you've been enlightened, you can enjoy this piece of nonsense: