January 05, 2009


After spinning at Splash's Free Tea last night I popped by a packed Esco's to pay my disrespect to their long-running Sunday night hostess Harmonica, the Queen of Comedy. I had never once seen her alter ego Sheila Noxzema, The Supermodel from Seacaucus, but Sheila was kind enough to pose for me in the storied dressing room, proud of her new contract with Reese's.

The foyer to the dressing room is for the male dancers to fluff in, and you can only imagine the bounty treats that the dancers in Manhattan's premier latin nightclub might offer. And since I've noticed that every recent post on my blog is either about women or drag queens, here's one of the strippers, Ecstacy, in action. I couldn't get close enough to the stage to snap a pic so I snapped a couple off of the video monitor instead. His handsome face wasn't visible but who cares about that anyway?

I guess some law prevents an erotic artiste from displaying his whole cock, but his nasty nuts are within legal limits? That said, his cock cover didn't leave a whole lot to the imagination, did it?

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Now that you're all hot and bothered, you can stay bothered with the demented Sugga Pie Koko, a staple at Escuelita and a scene-stealer at Wigstock whose brilliant schtick is acting as if she is very put off by being anywhere at all much less spoken to. (BTW, she is looking at the camera.) Sugga was joined onstage to take birthday girl Sheila down a peg by this insane creature from Chicago, whose name I forget, but I think it rhymed with Puf'n'Stuf and incorporated "crust" somehow. A little like Sammy Davis Jr., right?

After some very witty banter, they urged Sheila to show off her catwalking skills. Hesitant at first, Sheila claimed that the stage was a little too dirty for her to consider it. A fall might jeopardize her big modeling job next week. "In Afghanistan." Ha! Unlike Harmonica, Sheila speaks with quite a low voice so I missed most of her gems, but before consenting to walk she told the crowd that she had to put her money away. She dug into her matching orange bag, dug deeper, dug all around in it, and finally turned it upside down as the hooting crowd realized that poor Sheila didn't have a dime to her name.

Speaking of models, the luscious Karen Covergirl was spotted backstage.

As well as this, petite, shy beauty visiting from Atlanta who didn't really want to be photographed.

In the crowd:

Performer Noby Rivera, who is much prettier in person.

Just back from Tokyo, that's dragoon Anthony Lamont on the right. He is the sexiest guy out of drag!

LIPS in the house!

NINJAS in the house!

And that's Louie Legacy on the left, an ambitious promoter/activist/ who is all of 19 and already attending World Aids Day conferences.

And speaking of adorable, precocious latinos, didja see the article about The Martinez Brothers in the NY Times, a pair of dj'ing puerto rican brothers (17 and 20) whose dad chaperones them to headline gigs all over Europe, where soulful house is still widely appreciated. How adorable!


And check out this rave from dj/producer Dennis Ferrer, who was responsible remixing for Barbara Tucker's MOST PRECIOUS into an international smash.


Unwittingly Christian was doing just that, using MySpace to befriend his favorite D.J.’s and producers, including Dennis Ferrer, the New York dance-music veteran. Christian sent him Web links to TMB’s sets, and Mr. Ferrer offered him and his brother the 4 a.m. slot (clubbing prime time) at the prestigious New York club Shelter.

“I had no idea that they were great,” Mr. Ferrer said in an interview at his studio in Union City, N.J. “I just thought: Let me give him a shot. Let me make his year by letting him play.” But five songs into TMB’s set, Christian said, people abandoned a set by a more popular D.J. upstairs and rushed into their room.

Mr. Ferrer said, “My mouth was on the floor.” When the club promoters asked him if he was going to D.J. himself that night, Mr. Ferrer said he answered, “What for?”

Mr. Ferrer offered a similar sentiment, saying that without “the injection of youth, we’ll be playing to the same old cats we’ve always played to. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but if your audience doesn’t grow, it stagnates.” The “hip-hop kids” are “thirsty,” he added. “They want something new. They see ‘we’ve got somebody our age we can look up to.’ TMB represent the new demographic.”

But don’t tell the Martinez Brothers that. Both visibly shied away from the idea that they represented the next generation of New York anything. (“We’re representing our personalities,” is how Christian put it, dismissively.) Yet in their meticulous nature and the effect they have on crowds, Christian and Stevie Jr. also embody the compliment that Mr. Ferrer had paid them: “They play like old souls, but they’re new.



(I actually just listened to their productions on myspace and sorry, Mr. Ferrer, but they might wanna incorporate some vocals. Otherwise, they might have hot beats but who needs another producer masturbating to their unchanging tracks with (I'm getting really old school now) a singer and a hook and maybe even--GASP--a chord progression? Otherwise, you're just blaring the same "main floor" crap that has led to the popularization of smaller clubs and bars which shy away from dance music that's so progressive that you can only enjoy it on drugs. But how can I really blame young guys for masturbating? I Just wish I was there to watch! WIth drugs! Maybe some Doan's back pills and a shot of Geritol?)