December 26, 2008

ONE PLAN TO SAVE THE AIRLINES



Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight atten-dants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely, Bill Clinton