OBAMA-MOBILE

I saw this adorably tricked out bicycle parked outside of St. Vincent's Hospital yesterday. That doesn't mean I have AIDS and was going for treatment--I live near there. I always joke when giving Craig's List tricks my address: "I live near St. Vincent's Hospital--not in it!" (Not yet, anyway.)



It was after a week after Hallowe'en, but after listening to Randi Rhodes on Nova M Radio (which I constantly recommend to everyone at 3:00-6:00 PM Eastern), she revealed that a new poll suggests 27% of our nation is (dare I say) "spooked" by Obama. Randi attributed it to the hate-speech used in Republican campaign speeches, where cries of "Terrorist!" and "Kill him!" were heard from the crowd when Obama was mentioned. Obama won by a landslide, so I suppose that simple people, the ones who can't conceive of anyone being named Hussein NOT being a terrorist, really have their ignorant worlds turned upside down. Do these nuts have no confidence in the vetting process of presidential candidates? (Well, Sarah Palin didn't exactly bolster mine.) Bt these fears are so irrational--one minute they're slamming his Christian (if radical) pastor and the next minute this muslim terrorist is picking a jew as his chief of staff? (How sexy is that Rahm Emmanuel?) Rahm's selection must really puzzle them. "I thought them terrorists hated the jews. Like I do. But wait! I hate terrorists more than anyone--except blacks, cuz they'll rape our white women." These poor simpletons must really be going through it.

I look forward to the day that tension subsides and Obama can make use of his considerable sense of humor. I'd love to re-write his acceptance speech a little. I know Barack is statesmanlike to ever such words on a solemn occasion, but what if he'd said after winning the presidency:

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

KISS MY BLACK ASS!"

(I know he's mixed race, but "Kiss my mulatto ass" doesn't quite have the same (brown) ring to it.)

"And now that I run this shit, can we can those honkified election theme songs we've been using and hear some slammin' joints?"

A curtain goes up to reveal a facade of the White House which explodes to reveal Parliament singing TEAR THE ROOF OFF THE SUCKER.

"And now I'd like to introduce my Minister of Culture, Mr. Snoop Doggy Dogg." A white Bentley pulls up and after a bevy of scantily-clad bootylicious dancers start grinding to DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT, Snoop steps out, blinged-out cane first with a bottle of booze in the other.

Maybe on an SNL skit or CHOCOLATE NEWS skit someday. But the point is that this scenario is so Ludacris because Obama is a consummate statesman who was criticized by Jesse Jackson as not black enough and by white Republicans as too professorial and elitist. He's no thug! I really can't imagine that the man's skin color or middle name or the fact that he didn't wear a lapel pin has almost 1/3 of the population scared? The land of the free and the home of the pussy-ass fraidy-cats? Your good ol' boy days are done, guys. Sit back and let this capable politician do his thing! Haven't 8 years of a greedy, belligerent moron convinced you that new direction is long overdue? Look at the economy! Look at what we are still wasting on a war in against a country which never attacked us! Let your kid gnaw on some more poisoned toys from China. Check out how your home and investments values have dwindled. How backward do you have to be to not want change at this point--no matter who is offering it?




BUSH: "What do you think of this room's color shceme--no pun intended! Heh heh!"

OBAMA: "Michelle thought we should spice things up with velvet paintings of Biggie Smalls and Tupac, Now get the fuck out, motherfucker."