March 13, 2008


The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city’s most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?”

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, “First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, “Uh... no, I didn’t know that.”

“Secondly,” says the lawyer, “did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?”

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

“Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister’s husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, “I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”

And the lawyer says, “So... if I didn’t give any money to them, what makes you think I’d give any to you?”


Blogger Mae West NYC said...

Naturally, we have some hilarious lawyer one-liners uttered by MAE WEST in "Courting Mae West" Sex, Censorship & Secrets" [which will be onstage in July in Manhattan as part of the FRESH FRUIT FESTIVAL]. But who - - besides the ever excellent Lady Bunny - - could do justice to the role of the Brooklyn bombshell?
Director Louis Lopardi seeks an actress to play the lead in "COURTING MAE WEST: Sex, Censorship and Secrets."
This serious-minded comedy will be onstage during July 2008 as part of the Fresh Fruit Festival in Manhattan.
For this star-making role, Louis Lopardi seeks an actress 25 - 30 with serious stage training and industrial strength CHARISMA.
Rehearsals begin in May 2008.
Resumes and photo to:
A Company of Players
Attention: Louis Lopardi, Artistic Director
545 Eighth Avenue
Box # 401
New York, NY 10018 - 4307
Send Email via the web site - - - -

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if the requirements include 25-30 warts then Bunny's your gal.

5:19 PM  

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