9 THINGS I HATE ABOUT EVERYONE
This bitterness was forwarded by Maureen and it totally sums up my bitter seasonal adjustment disorder blues as I prepare to pop out into the snow in open-toed wedgies for work tonight!
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room
for the T.V... remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change
the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I
paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room
for the T.V... remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change
the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I
paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
posted by Lady Bunny at Thursday, March 02, 2006
6 Comments:
Tommy, I try, but your mon is sooo competitive. Or is that your post-op dad? --B
I was reading this in my class and we were all cracking up.Esp. the cake one. I always say that lol. Keep the jokes coming.
Well done!
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