LADY APRIL ASHLEY

Speaking of sex changes, April Ashley has a website! She's alive and well and living in San Diego! Resembling a cross between a young Liz Taylor and Vivien Leigh, April enjoyed a modelling career and set tabloids on fire when she married an English nobleman. Well, for 14 days, anyway. Then courts ruled that the marriage was null and void because April was biologically a male. Undaunted and looking incredibly glamorous, Lady April went on to hob-knob with celebs like the impossibly handsome Omar Sharif and the rest of the international jet-set. And with the wasp-waisted corsetierre Mr. Pearl, to whom April told this joke after a tipple or two: "What's a cure for a tight arse?...A night in Rome!" (Call my travel agent at once!) Here's a taste of her previously published autobiography, and she's working on a new one which covers her life from 1980 to the present. Hurry up, your ladyship!


MY ODYSSEY BY APRIL ASHLEY: CHAPTER ONE

Prince Max von Hohenlohe-Langenburg, fat and twinkling in his decorations, was sitting on my left at a gala dinner in the south of Spain. The room glittered with crystal and silver, pineapples, lobsters and champagne. People talked about mutual friends and parties in London, Paris and Rome. One side of the room was a semi-circle of colonnaded windows through which bejewelled figures slid out to the candlelit terrace and the music of the band. I gave up toying with a truffle omelette and let my gaze wander across the breathless midnight Mediterranean. Beyond, way beyond, were the lights of the coast of North Africa.

Prince Max leaned over, looked down my cleavage and whispered. ‘My dear, what colour are ….?’ The Princess Bismarck passed our table on her two walking sticks, click-swoosh, click-swoosh, on her way to the lavatory. The Prince managed to stand, sway, and bow. I laughed. She nodded from the crow's nest of her great height and proceeded fitfully through the wrong door into the Men’s bathroom. 'Darling, what colour are …?’ Max asked again. 'Max, do spit it out' I said. ‘Well, my dear, I was wondering what colour are your nipples. Brown or pink?'



I ran my fingers over my bosom, supported by a band of ice-pink shantung, and replied, 'The palest, Max, the palest pink.' He took out a Corona and began to tremble so violently that he set fire to one of his fingers which was wet with brandy. I had to light the cigar for him. 'Young cherries, sweet rosebuds. Ah! You see that woman over there?' He indicated an American acquaintance who had inherited a large piece of Ohio and fled with it to Europe. 'Hers are like dried figs! Chewed up ... but you, my dear, pink pips, my treasure, you are high born I think.'

Max had perfect manners. And he was quite wrong about my origins. An elderly friend, Don Pedro tapped me on the shoulder. 'May I have the pleasure?' he said. Don Pedro creaked at the waist when he danced. But he had a noble head. We went off to Watutsi on the terrace.

High born! How funny, I thought. I didn't know what a present was until my eleventh birthday. 'I've got a present for you,' Mother said. I gripped the table to steady myself and broke out in goose-pimples. 'But you can't have it until you get home from school.' When the afternoon school bell clanged, I ran out of the gates, making a quick sign of the cross as I flew past the church. I was deeply religious at that age. At home Mother was holding a brown-paper parcel. I took it breathing heavily. Out rolled a pair of grey socks.

Conceived one summer on the Isle of Man at the Fort Hotel where my mother was a chambermaid,I was born a boy in the Smithdown Road Hospital, Liverpool, on 29 April 1935. This birthday I share with the late Emperor Hirohito of Japan, which makes us Taureans like Fred Astaire, Catharine the Great, Shirley Temple and Hitler. Mother brought me home to a black dockland slum called Pitt Street and christened me George.

APRIL ASHLEY TODAY


Please vist her site for the rest of Chapter One ffrom MY ODYSSEY and tons of amazing pix of this stunner:

APRILASHLEY.COM



Don't forget to visit her LINKS page--they are all about her!

APRIL MODELS FOR DAVID BAILEY


You can even buy an APRIL ASHLEY t-shirt, tote bag, mug, stein, mousepad or clock on CAFEPRESS.COM on her merch page.

TIME FOR A SEX CHANGE!