OUT 100

I dj'ed for the 2nd year in a row at the OUT 100 awards, which celebrates 100 movers and shakers OUT magazine has singled out for praise. It's a great gig and there were some super-cuties there, mingling with the A-list celebs like host Rosario Dawson and honorees Melissa Etheridge and Marc Jacobs. One such cutie floored me by walking up to me and saying--I was prominently placed on the side of the stage: "You look like a whore up there." I howled and replied "Mission Accomplished! Now fuck me!" I always bring down the tone of these tony affairs. But it really reminded me of how fun NY nightlife used to be.

I know this sounds crazy, but this guy, whose name I can't recall, has seen me around for years and knows that I'm a whore. Being a whore is my schtick, but my schtick is based on my real personality--I actually can often be found blowing an odd security guard in the toilet. I can even be found blowing an old security guard in the toilet. But no one walks up to me and goofs with me like that anymore. Things are so stiff and "fabulous" now, that "whore" comment would seem insulting to most. I hooted over it cuz it hinted of days gone by.

There were some beautifully groomed Imperial Court queens at the soiree. I often wonder what they think of me when I see them out. I'm certainly not as polished in my appearance as they are, and I rarely order custom costume jewelry to go with every gown. These girls spend a fortune on their drag! And it appeared that many had come from all over the country. Billy Masters, the hilarious LA gossip columnist had. He seemed to love hearing the semi-forgotten Dan Hartman/Loleatta Holloway classic RELIGHT MY FIRE. For the sheer gayness of it I also played an ill house remix of Dolly's 9-5.

The acceptance speeches went smoothly with Rent's Anthony Rapp and the exquisite--this bitch had on NO MAKE-UP and looked like a goddess!--Miss Dawson as presenters. Melissa Etheridge was warm and funny and worked the crowd like the rock star she is. When NJ governor James McGreevey took the stage, the crowd screamed as if Whitney Houston had walked out singing. Why? I can't understand why he was even picked for an award! Because he had the courage to come out of the closet while in office? I thought he'd been forced out of the closet when a hustler who he'd given a government position to threatened to out him. If this deserves an award then get one ready for Karl Rove and Jeff Gannon, for chrissakes!

Sharon Stone made a video acceptance speech. Lesson learned: If you aren't physically in the room to connect with the audience, KEEP IT BRIEF! Sharon has done a lot of great AIDS charity work, but her speech was so serious, so grand, and so long-winded that the audience got very restless during it. It was also mired by so many fake endings that each time the crowd started to sense the end and applaud, she'd launch right back into another spacy ramble. The audience was guffawing at her expense by the end.

Out asked me to intro the lovely Kimberly from AMERICA'S TOP MODEL right afterwards, so in attempt to bring the audience back up after Sharon's downer of a speech, I took the podium and announced that "Due to a freakish, last-minute change in my schedule, I, Sharon Stone was able to make the event after all. And since I am here in person, I have an EVEN LONGER speech to read now! Actually, after seeing how boring my video acceptance speech was, the movie I was doing canned me so I have all the time in the world!" The crowd seemed to enjoy it but I think I may have gone a little too far. I certainly didn't want to undermine Sharon's generous contribution to the gay community, but maybe another lesson to be learned is: Unless you like trash, don't give this whore a microphone!

PEREZ HILTON, from "the most hated site in Hollywood", has a funny account of Sharon's "speech" called SHARON STONED at perezhilton.com