May 20, 2005


From porn star/director Micheal Lucas's new blog

Though english is not Michael's first language, he's a talented, humorous writer with some interesting articles (and fan's forum-postings) about sex, porn and general gay issues like the "Crystal Mess" epidemic. This post below will appeal to anyone who has ever "fucked the shit out of someone"--literally!

An excerpt from

It happens to the best of us: at one point or another, we’ve all been painted brown. Oh yes, I’m talking shit today, baby!
I’ve been there. You’ve been there. We’ve all been there (either as a top or a bottom). All of a sudden, what was a hot fuck turns into a smelly embarrassment. Your nose starts to wrinkle and it hits you—first the smell, then the utter humiliation.

You know that pulling out now could be disastrous. What do you do? Do you acknowledge the fact that your dick is covered with shit? Do you say something? Or do you continue to fuck, ignoring the big brown elephant that’s just squatted in the middle of the room? (Some of you might actually find this sort of stuff exciting, but that’s a whole other blog topic).

I often wonder why we, as gay men, don’t douche more often? In fact so many actors who work in my movies have never even heard of it. How can it be that a porn model doesn’t know how to douche? I often find myself explaining the process to people who should be well versed in the art of cleansing. More importantly, I think it’s just bad etiquette to say: “fuck me!” and not be ready for it. How many times have you heard this: “Oops, so sorry.” Sorry my ass! Learn how to douche!

And here are a few of the comments posted in response to this post.

You mean there are still men in this day & age who don't?! Quell Horror! When I was like 20, I once had a bottom shit all over me (I swear he'd been saving up for a week, judging by the amount packed into my pubes & all over my legs), & since then I've ALWAYS douced, whether playing top or bottom...You never know & always need to be prepared!



And from me:

Michelle Lucas, you can douche yourself silly, but no matter how many times you douche, you'll always be full of shit!

And that's why I love your crazy ass so much! Now take another sip of prune daiquiri and squat for me, daddy/mommy! Come, my pudding blossom of afterbirth! Giveth me a goodeth yield from your nether-cunt while singing the Russian folk songs of the 1920's that you grew up with!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is needed here is for some engineering genius to invent the combination condom/pooper scooper/giant size wetwipe. Until then it's "did you douche"? and hoping a yes answer really means yes.

Jon (who only practices the Princeton Rub for obvious reasons! :)

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi i am absolutely ok with douching but it should be internal, an arab gay

6:59 AM  
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