January 01, 2013


I got in from my gig around 2AM last night and turned on the TV. Fox was broadcasting a bizarre guitar solo which I assume was the conclusion of Pat Benatar's act since she was also onstage egging on the masturbatory solo from some white-haired guitar god. Do people even appreciate live music anymore? Virtually none of today's hits feature virtuoso musicians and they kept cutting to excited kids who were excited because the camera was broadcasting them as they waved--not because of the show. I haven't seen the ball drop footage in years. I think most New Yorkers shun the crowds and I'm told that people have to hold their spot so long in advance that it's impossible to use the bathroom for many hours. What fun! Ringing in the new year with full diapers. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a Times Square event features advertisements but handing out blue foam rubber Dr. Seuss top hats with Nivea logos all over them and Pepsi and Toshiba dominating every view of the ball dropping? And while I did not see all of Anderson and Kathy Griffin's coverage, what I did see wasn't remotely funny or entertaining. Kathy's facial surgery is now approaching Joan Rivers' level. Too bad her humor isn't. As you know, I'm a lover of senseless filth, but that running gag of her trying to get on her knees to blow Anderson wasn't funny the first time she did it. I also didn't understand repeatedly mentioning Kim Kardashian's vajayjay. Kim's expecting so Kathy mentions her puss and that's a punchline?  If you want to say that Kim's overworked parts are so loose that the baby will just fall out then why not say it? You're already on your knees. Were there better parts of it that I missed? As Bianca Del Rio often says, AWKWARD MOMENT!