November 03, 2011

A FUN READ BY DIVINE GRACE

“AN OPEN LETTER TO KIM KARDASHIAN”

Dearest Kimberly,

Please allow me to preface this letter by congratulating you on finding someone to read it to you. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to learn how to read between all of those dress fittings and developing a fragrance that has the “effervescence of grapefruit and pink peppercorn” and subtle notes of limousine upholstery and poodle vomit.



I would like to take this opportunity to tell you how shocked and heartbroken I was to discover that your marriage to NBA athlete Kris Humphries has come to an abrupt end after a mere 72 days.

I would like to take that opportunity, but I'm not going to.

Yours wasn't exactly a marriage that I believed would stand the test of time, as your entire 4 year career appears to be constructed entirely out of marketing ploys, public relations gimmicks and an insatiable desire to have your over-weening ego stroked like some random villain's fat pussy in a James Bond movie.

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