March 01, 2010



What is it with anti-gay beauty queens? You’d think these female drag queens would appreciate the gay hairdressers, make-up artists and designers who give them their winning edge. Did some snippy queen of a judge tell Lauren Ashley that pug noses and down-turned eyes were not exactly sought after facial features in pageants?

First there was Anita Bryant, a Miss America runner-up in the 70’s who campaigned so tirelessly against gay rights that she sparked a boycott of the Florida orange juice she hawked on TV ads. More recently, Miss USA runner-up Carrie Prejean blasted gay marriage in response to a question from Perez Hilton. As a Christian, she couldn’t accept same-sex unions. But her religion didn’t keep the sanctimonious slut from appearing in nude pix and sex tapes which ultimately caused her crown to be yanked as she became a national laughing stock.


Enter Lauren Ashley. This past week, Fox New’s Pop Tarts site interviewed the “Miss Beverly Hills” and the conversation turned to gays. The bitch pulled a quote from Leviticus to argue that homosexuals should be put to death. “If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.”


Look, we all know that the bible can’t be followed literally even by Christians because it’s so contradictory. Leviticus also denounces shellfish and promotes slavery. Should we bring slavery back because it’s in the Bible, Lauren? And I don’t imagine that Miss Ashley’s aware that the authors of Leviticus were nomadic tribes frightened that non-breeding homosexuals would threaten their clan’s survival. And at that time Greece was considered the height of civilization and homosexuality was institutionalized there!

Christians cherry-picking scriptures is nothing new. What’s odd about Miss Lauren’s case is why Fox News wanted to interview her in the first place. Her title of Miss Beverly Hills doesn’t even exist and the city she claims to represent has distanced itself from the Pasadena resident. So she’s not even an actual title-holder. But Fox wanted to interview this nobody (who isn’t even that pretty for a beauty queen) precisely because they wanted to promote a virulently anti-gay agenda. The same way Fox admitted to photo-shopping video footage of the tea partiers DC rally to make attendance look much larger after MSNBC called them on it. The same way Fox keeps ultra-conservative nut job Glenn Beck on the air even though his advertisers dropped out after he called Obama a racist on the air. So we know that Faux News has no problem with twisting the truth and providing a platform for it’s outrageous right-wing propaganda.


But even Anita Bryant didn’t call for gays to be killed. These are fighting words! Three months ago gay activists were horrified that US politicians and fundamentalists were influencing Ugandan politicians to adopt legislation which punished homosexuality with death. Now these fundamentalist assholes are sufficiently emboldened to air their poisonous views in this country as well! No longer content with preventing gays from getting married and enlisting in the military--they want us dead! And every time you watch Glee, American Idol, Bones, Cops or any other Fox program you’re putting money in the pockets of conservatives at Fox who want to kill us. This should deeply disturb all gays and anyone who cares about equal rights. Wake up, people. By tuning in to Fox you are paying for your own death. And don’t protest that you watch Glee online because every single click on their sites translates into advertising dollars for people who aim to kill you in the name of the Lord. I call for a boycott of all things Fox. It worked on Florida orange juice. And don’t think that this boycott is just a far-fetched notion from some drag queen. Obama himself tried to limit Fox’s access to interviews because they qualify more as intentionally misleading propaganda than news.

Think I’m overreacting? Leave your gay-friendly big city bubble for a minute. Imagine an uneducated straight guy who is reeling from unemployment, dwindling savings, and a home in foreclosure. He’s prejudiced against blacks and gays. He already feels that his world order has been turned upside down because he was raised to think that blacks were beneath him and now there's a black president. And he hears Glenn Beck on Fox calling Obama a racist and sees tea baggers rallying with signs calling the president a socialist, Marxist and communist. He doesn’t even know what these words mean but he knows they sound un-American. He wants to lash out at someone but the president’s too difficult a target.

Then a semi-attractive girl like Lauren Ashley comes on the tv and his eyes perk up. She's saying the bible calls for gays to be killed. He doesn't recognize the passage from Leviticus she's quoting but he barely needs another reason to hate fags and is smarting over the repeal of DADT. So he sits and stews with hatred and fear until he blows a gasket. And before you know it, he's grabbing a gun and finds himself shooting up a local gay bar in the name of the Lord. If you find this scenario far-fetched, remember that someone just committed suicide by flying a plane into an IRS building to avenge big government. And George Tiller, a doctor performing late-term abortions was shot in his church just last year by a religious kook. Please think about this before you turn on any Fox channel ever again. If you’re too complacent to even recognize your enemies, how the hell are you going to fight them? And as Lauren Ashley proves, they’re out for blood. Yours.