7 DEGREES OF BLONDE
FIRST DEGREE:
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know! It was some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
SECOND DEGREE:
Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde said, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde handed her the compact. The second one looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!"
THIRD DEGREE:
A blonde suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she went out and bought a gun. She went to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opened the door she found him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opened her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She took the gun and put it to her head.
The boyfriend yelled, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replied, "Shut up .. you're next!"
FOURTH DEGREE:
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly said, "Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them."
A friend said, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIFTH DEGREE:
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
SIXTH DEGREE:
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware"
SEVENTH DEGREE:
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know! It was some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
SECOND DEGREE:
Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde said, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde handed her the compact. The second one looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!"
THIRD DEGREE:
A blonde suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she went out and bought a gun. She went to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opened the door she found him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opened her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She took the gun and put it to her head.
The boyfriend yelled, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replied, "Shut up .. you're next!"
FOURTH DEGREE:
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly said, "Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them."
A friend said, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIFTH DEGREE:
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
SIXTH DEGREE:
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware"
SEVENTH DEGREE:
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."
posted by Lady Bunny at Tuesday, June 26, 2007
2 Comments:
Those jokes were so bad that after I read them I had to call 1-800-poison
A blonde had maxed out all her credit cards and was going to be evicted from her apartment. She decided to kidnap a child to get money, so she went to the playground, grabbed a kid, threw him in her car, and took him home. She wrote out a ransom note: "Give me $50,000 or I'm going to torture your kid!" She signed the note "A Desperate Blonde." Since she didn't know where the kid lived, she gave him the note, told him to take it home and give it to his mother, and then come back.
Hours later, the kid returned and gave the blonde a note his mother had written, it said, "I'll pay you the money, you monster, but how could you do this to a fellow blonde???"
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