February 15, 2007


I normally despise the Oscars and all the hype surrounding it. "But it's all about the gowns!", fags whine. So view them online the next day, for chrissakes! I usually have to turn the TV off leading up to the awards to avoid the endless "buzz". (Of course, I'm still deafened by the buzz of flies circling my nasty, unwashed ass--soap's getting so expensive these days!) And the brilliant SNAKES ON A PLANE was robbed without a single nod! Still this year, there are a few qualifications which may actually have me tuning in.

I SAW NOTES ON A SCANDAL YESTERDAY AND COULD NOT BELIEVE HOW FANTASTIC IT WAS! I'd heard about the great reviews, but hadn't really read them and had no clue as to what the "scandal" actually was. (I won't give it away cuz I insist that you see it This is one of my favorite films of all time, right up there with THE KILLING OF SISTER GEORGE and HUSH, HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE. Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett are both magnificent! Actually, eveyone in the cast is. I typically only notice the script when it's off or the dialogue seems unrealistic, but when Cate's husband screams "I may not have been fucking fabulous, but I was there!", I got the shivers. (Possibly because those words could also describe my "career"?) And of course, Judi's catty narration of her diary entries is scrumptious.

And both women are so lovely. Even when the lighting is set to make Judi's Barbara look more demented and wrinkled than it is, there is something so captivating about that mug and the unusual plane that her eyes are set on. Laugh at fucked-up english teeth all you want, but Judi's overbite is completely adorable. Cate's never looked more alluring, and her stately, snouty beauty is the antidote to all of Hollywood's butchered bimbo's. But fuck their looks! These bitches can act--which the Oscars should be handing out awards for! If either of them wins in Best Actress or Supporting Actress, I think my nelly ass will cry to see such a triumphant performance recognized. That's how much they moved me in this masterpiece. Of course, Cate's competing against Jennifer Hudson who did a fine job in DREAMGIRLS, but I really don't think there's much of a comparison in terms of acting ability. Though I doubt if I'd enjoy Cate belting out AND I AM TELLING YOU as much as I enjoyed Jennifer. But Best Supporting Actresss is not the same as Best Supporting singer. And then there's the adorable brat from the geniusly twisted romp LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE in the same category!

Admit it--BORAT was also the illest thing to come around in years and I can only imagine that hilarious fool's acceptance speech. I'm sure it will top Roberto Begnini's antics in 1999. (On a side note, here is an insane interpretation of what Begnini said at his acceptance speech which I found quite amusing.)

MARIE ANTOINETTE'S gowns were stunning and awfully elaborate, but you know I'll be squealing if my old friend/Wigstock supporter/former employer/she-even-lent-me-her-apartment-in-Miami last year Patricia Field marches her flame-haired dyke ass up to that podium to accept her costumes in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA.

I wouldn't mind seeing Al Gore win SOMETHING for a change, either! And if he doesn't, demand a fucking recount!

And...Diana Ross might sing at the event--a song from DREAMGIRLS! Talk about coming full circle! How bizarre!

Doesn't it seem that sorry, big budget blockbusters were overlooked in favor of off-beat, quality films this year? Of course, I only saw NOTES yesterday, and I haven't even seen THE QUEEN--except for every day in the mirror--but it's delightful to see junk like APOCALYPTO relegated to Best Sound Mixing and make-up categories and UNITED 93 up for Best Film Editing. Maybe american movie-go-ers (or at least the Oscar panelists) are getting tired of big budget, low-talent and no-inspiration crap?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

A lot of gays are boycotting the Oscars because of last year's Brokeback Mountain snub. It won all the critics' awards running up to it, but then rumors surfaced that a lot of the Oscar voters were too homophobic to even watch it. So it was robbed. That's probably why they asked Ellen to host, trying to offset the backlash from gays. Not that Ellen would've been a lure for me personally to watch. She "recloseted" herself on her talk-show, never made any references to being gay on it until recently, since Rosie's made a big splash being totally openly-gay on The View. So now that Ellen is being more open again, I was considering possibly watching for her few gay-oriented jokes, which surely she'll make.

4:10 PM  
Blogger archive said...

Amen hallelujah miss sister woman girlfiend, Bunny, you are a neat, neat woman, but you're right despite their caffeine-n-prozac addled haze, the american pubis, I mean, public, has startled itself awake just intime to catch some gems like the ones you mentioned here as well as others like Tyler Perry's fabulous "Milk My Sweet Titties While You DO Me, You Dirty Bastard", wasn't that what it was called, the one with the sweet granny in it?

The oscars sort of left a bad taste in my mouth in the 1990s when I went to my last "oscar party" in Memphis and ended up helping hold the host over the tub so she wouldn't vomit onto the floor.

Good times.

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apocalypto is actually a really good movie...

Thankfully free of Gibson's religious dogma or obvious "look at how expensive i am" set pieces...it was really effective.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Lady Bunny said...

I admit I didn't see Apocalypto. But it's just refreshing to see a meaty story like NOTES with some brilliant acting instead of a spectacle on a grand scale. --LB

11:33 PM  
Blogger archive said...

I think it's actually pronounce Apocliptoes, if it isn;t it should be, dog meat and whatever all else y'all said, y'all crazy, man, look like a damn crack ho, but, you know, crack ho's people too

12:17 AM  
Blogger archive said...

And Mrs. La Lady de La LEs BUNNY du Bun Bun, did you mean an Doublay Ontondray when you said of yourself you've suck-cummed to oscar?
I need a censor late at night uhr some shit

12:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Judi Dench is absolutely stunning to look at, (even though she could do with a facelift) she has the same feline looks of a persian cat.

I'm hoping my controversial novel "Sister Margaret Immaculate of the Unfinished Orgasm" will be turned into a Hollywood blockbluster sometime soon.

6:30 AM  
Blogger Lady Bunny said...

I'm certain that it will. Or will it's completion kill it's theme? --LB

7:27 AM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Mitzi, I'm sure I could lend you a few of the nuns from my elementary school as extras...let's see, there was Sister Beatrice with the Really Bad Breath...Sister Vivian With the Varicose Veins...or Sister Marianne With the Mustache...take your pick, darlin'. l0(

1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Aaron but are they prepared to wear laxtex open-crotch panties with matching peep-hole bras?

It was just an idea I had, inspired by Soeur Sourire the singing nun and her lust for Dominique, I might turn it into a musical and re-word the song "Bugger me Gently, Bugger me dead."

6:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

See The Queen, Lady Bunny, see The Queen! It is awesome...

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lady Bunny is The Queen anon!
I've yet to see it so I can't make any comments, but what I do know is the women who plays her Helen Mirren is not shy to get her titties out for the cameras. I just hope that they aren't any nude scenes in it! But it'll be worth it just to see the Queen mother's manky teeth again, and with all those dogs she has, I bet her house stinks, I can well imagine the place, fur everywhere, overflowing with dried up old dog eggs, behind the curtains, underneath the tables etc. If you're in buckingham palace for five minutes you'd be scratching your skin raw for days. If she wasn't the queen she'd be one of those scary old women you see on the streets walking around pushing a huge pram full of invalid dogs and dragging half a dozen strays behind her with string for a lead. As for her love of horses well, there do say people come to resemble their animals!

10:20 AM  
Blogger Aaron said...

"Bugger Me Gently, Bugger Me Dead"--wasn't that a rock song from the 70s? (Oh no, that was "ROCK Me Gently." My mistake!)

7:33 PM  
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