NEW PC TERMS
From Atlanta drag legend Lily White!
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, a few changes have been made to the language. I have provided you with the following list.
First off, the folks residing in the Carolinas and Kentuckians, Tennesseans, West Virginians and Georgians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. furthermore ...
POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS FOR, AND ABOUT WOMEN :
She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
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HOW TO SPEAK POLITICALLY CORRECT ABOUT MEN
He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
He does not act like a "TOTAL AS S" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE.
GOT IT EVERYBODY ? NOW GET OUT THERE AND SPEAK CORRECTLY !!
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, a few changes have been made to the language. I have provided you with the following list.
First off, the folks residing in the Carolinas and Kentuckians, Tennesseans, West Virginians and Georgians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. furthermore ...
POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS FOR, AND ABOUT WOMEN :
She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO SPEAK POLITICALLY CORRECT ABOUT MEN
He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
He does not act like a "TOTAL AS S" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE.
GOT IT EVERYBODY ? NOW GET OUT THERE AND SPEAK CORRECTLY !!
posted by Lady Bunny at Thursday, December 14, 2006
7 Comments:
It's not easy to be PC so why bother. Long gone are the days when you could walk into a wool shop and ask for some 3ply wool in nigger brown.
Poppers are now called "aromas" What? Gingerbread men are called gingerbread people, black boards are now chalk boards, some schools don't celbrate christmas anymore in case it offends the ethnics instead thy call it a winter festival, but its OK for them to celebrate dwali festival of lights.
They will come a time when we will be all like mutes(or should that be the socially inept?) not daring to speak to anyone in case we offend some minority. I couldn't be so touchy or care less!
The amusing thing is when all these "cringy-crouchy-eggshell" PC folks actually start getting some of their OWN speech corrected. Oh, don't they bitch and complain then...!
Mitxi, why were you ever walking into a "wool shop"? I need to know immediately. --LB
About 20 years ago, when I was a mere toddler I used to go shopping with my grandma, wool shops and haberdasheries were her thing, she would seem to cum whilst oouing and ahhing at the wool, you know what old people are like for knitting.
...What was that, Mr. Orwell? Did you say, "new speak"? Honestly, let's just say what we mean and mean what we say. No more hoops. Being sensitive is great. We should all give it a go BUT things have just gotten out of hand.
I've more or less been doing nothing worth mentioning, but oh well. Basically not much exciting happening worth mentioning. I just don't have anything to say right now, but whatever. Eh.
- ladybunny.net h
spaghetti alla carbonara
My God, Lily White is still ALIVE??!?!
I mean, for real?
Lordy.
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