TWINK CODE

The Twink Code, version 1.12

Some people out here aren't satisfied with BearCode or SmurfCode. It doesn't speak to us. We're twinks, and damn proud of it. While bears live for hair and smurfs for humor, a twink lives for style. As such, style factors are the major way of recognizing a twink. Unlike bears and smurfs, a twink's style can't be rated by degree--to be a twink, one must have a good sense of style. The ideal twink knows what he can't wear, and how to wear what he can. The clothes make the twink.

Clothing is not exclusively the determining factor in a twink, though. The twink's crowning glory is his hair. Long or short, straight or wavy, it must be perfect. Hell is a lifetime of bad hair.

The main Twink identifier is a 4 part code comprised of:

T - Type of twink
C - Color of Hair
L - Length of Hair
and whether it's (s)traight, (w)avy, or (c)urly
T - Type of twink

1 - BeachTwink:
The beach twink is often a sun- bleached blonde, well tanned, and well defined. Sub-genres of beach twink are the VBall Twink and SurferTwink.
2 - NuevoWest Twink:
The old west was never quite like this. Colorful, sharp, and not nearly weathered enough, if cowboys were fashion slaves, they'd look like this.
3 - Rap Twink:
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch have nothing on this twink. Urban fashion is raised to an art form by this delicious one.
4 - The All-American Twink:
Remember that quarterback you could never have in high school? This *is* him. Athletic, active, it's amazing how his hair stays in place.
5 - EuroTwink:
Think of Armani suits. Think of Italian convertibles. The finest European designers would love to have him on the runway.
6 - The Twink Next Door:
The boy next door never looked this good (well, mine never did). A suburban sensibility becomes a showcase for a gorgeous young guy.
7 - RadicalTwink:
This twink marches to the beat of a different drummer. He may be wearing full renaissance garb (Felix, where are you?). He may be more subtle than that. But there's definitely something strange there...
8 - GymTwink:
The GymTwink may attempt any of the above styles (and pull them off successfully) but it's always that drop-dead-gorgeous bod that's overshadowing everything else. Even in sack cloth (we're talking *really* radical 7 here) he'd look incredible. GymTwinks should include what style they're attempting in their code (i.e. T8(5))
9 - AppalachianTwink:
Jethro Bodine (of "Beverly Hilbillies" fame) was no Twink, but his style translates well. Overalls, with or without shoes and shirt (I like w/o shirt myself) are often characteristic.
10 - GrungeTwink:
"Kurt Cobain, is that you?" The ratty jeans are from Perry Ellis, the shirt is from Versace. It's amazing how stylish anti- style can be.

An excerpt from this "nutty" page, which covers everything, including:

g - gonads (balls)

g++
huge and bursting with cream
g+
large and cream filled
g
above average
(none)
has two
g-
do you really want to let people know?
g--
you may not have much but you have guts


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