OLD IS WHEN

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two
drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on
this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.." The
bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.
In fact, this one is on me."

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would
like to buy you a drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two
drops of water." "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes
that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one,
too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with
two drops of water." "Coming right up," the bartender says. As he
gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the
Scotch with only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to
hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."


"OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love,"
And you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" "OLD " IS WHEN ... Your
friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens
The garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as
you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead
of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN ..."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take
any fiber today

"OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking
lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the
bathroom.

AND

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokes.