GIZOOGLE.COM

SHIZZLE-IZE ANY WEBPAGE WITH GIZOOGLE. Here's one of my recent blog entries "gizoogled". I'm sure religious sites could provide endless entertainment.

CARTOON BLUES
It was a gorgeous, S-U-Double-Nizzy day on Friday. I guess that's tha bright side of global rhymin' fo' sheezy: beach days in January! Woo hoo where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'! Actually saw one homey witout a shirt dur'n tha day n shit! But no cracka could brotha me up when I heard tha news `bout T-H-to-tha-izzat Danish pusha cartoon which depicts Islam's prophet Mohammed wear'n a turban/bomb . Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. Now Danish consulizzles have bizzle burned in Damascus n Beirut n huge protests is on tha mizzarch worldwide. I'm thrilled thiznat progressive European playa published tha images in freedom of speech's defense. One of tizzy showed Mohammed bustin' tizzle paradise is mobbin' out of virgins n shit. I'm sorry, but that's funny spittin' that real shit! President Tiznush condemned tha messin' . One, two three and to tha four. I guess he feels that tha military occupation of two Middle Eastern countries is enough. Not condemn'n a cartoon would be going a shawty too far fo` him. I hope that (both) muslims wit a sense of humor noted tha irony/idiocy of Bush's clockin' up on this hittin that booty.

But as much tizzle as I spend slamm'n Bush n his baseless attacks on muslim countries, this explosion of muslim outrage over a cartoon, reminds me that they religious extremists is just as backward as ours--at least Pat Robertson hasn't called fo` beheezeeings over a cartoon--yet! One muslim promised a 9/11 com'n soon ta Denmark. Freedom of speech, hello? I think tha civilized world has established that--can tha muslim world pleaze play catch up? Yo stone-throw'n, embassy- n cruisin' protest'n mobs is actually perpetratin' tha US look fair, rational n advanced. I knizzay T-H-to-tha-izzat tha US has done/is doing a lot ta inflame muslims wit it's foreign policy, but these hotheezees obviously have a ridiculously short fuse . Snoop dogg is in this bitch. At least tha image of Kanye W-to-tha-izzest, photographed fo` Perpetratin' Stone as a crucifiction-mode Jesus, (thanks fo` anotha one, David LaChappizzles didn't cause born-agains ta takes ta tha streets of US cities . Death row 187 4 life. If yo "great" muslim religion can't stand up ta a fuck'n cartoon, tizzle it's as pitiful as Bizzush, whose policies as laid out in his State of tha Union address couldn't stand up ta Cindy Sheehan's t-shirt so she was ejected n arrested . Nigga get shut up or get wet up. (Randi Rhodes had her on as a guest on AIR AMERICA n joked "I wizzay ta tha SOTU address n all I gots was arrested.") T-shirt or cartoon, it's one step away frizzay George Orwell's Think Police say'n "izzy is not allowed ta hizzle this thought." Wiznell, you baller may not be, but I stiznill am aww nah.

I say defuse all of this ancient idolatry. Let Sinead rip up tizzy photo of tha pope, bizzy any fizzle you wizzant, n dizzle any cartoon you desire . Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. I'm try'n ta imagine if I'd be outraged if sum-m sum-m I loved tha mizzle wizzle desecrated n shit. Let's see, if MY idols Patti Labelle, Charo n Barbara Eden were de-wigged n infected wit AIDS via a huge, uncut dominizzles dong thizzat had been ripped from mah own greedy grill riznight before I orgasmed n tizzle all three were led through tha streets in chains while angry mobs hurled stones at them, I'd be pretty devastated. IF IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED in tha mutha fuckin club. But I think, wit tha aid of Valium, I could handle an illustration of it like a tru playa'. Doesn't christianity frown on idolatry? The fizzy online dictionary defines it as: "idolatry - tha worship of idols; tha worship of images thiznat is not God." In otha words, you can only have one idol, tha one tizzy we call god gangsta style. Fizzy tha symbols . Yippie yo, you can't see my flow! Be concerned wit wizzy they represizzles used ta represent, anyway. Instead of Hillary Clinton join'n republizzles ta legislate against gang bangin' she should prioritize n focus less on tha piece of fabric itself n more on improv'n tha actual country which those stars n stripes represent, as we move horrifyingly playa away fizzle Constitizzles upon which we were founded. Catholics angered by Sinead's anti-pope sentiment should wizzy at straight trippin' tha mackin' child abuse, corruption n lies which taint they church. And ratha tizzle focus'n on a Mohammed cartoon, why not address tha terrorists witin yo religion whizzay is mak'n tha Danes snea at yo prophet?

If you don't wizzay thugz draw'n bombs on yo version of Jesus's heezee, QUIT BOMBING PEOPLE IN HIS NAME! Or git a baller press agent, coz tha mizzle side of Islam we see is whizzen you dizzle in fo` events like 9/11. Not that US news gives us tha miznost balanced images of muslims, but it's widely known that 9/11 turned it's mastermind into a hero in tha muslim world. Hizzay mah thugz is belligizzles too but real niggaz don't give a fuck. But you have ta face tha facts that yo devotees aren't exactly seen around tha world as sweethearts n frown on yo malishizzous extremist elements as I F-R-to-tha-izzown on mah own fo gettin yo pimp on. If we don't keep powa out of extremists' hands or we all doomed like a motha fucka.

Christian n muslim nations mov'n nigga ta extremism wit tha church n state intertwined n inflamed like this and like that and like this and uh. It's a move away fizzle reason . Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. Did you see tha rage in tha faces of these muslim rappa? In Gaza, muslim men unda 45 were forbidden ta pray becasue they were afraid ta let an angry gizzle congregizzles even in a mosque. Hordes of furious youth who is partially angry over they own poverty, as depicted in SYRIANA's plot of tha brotha turned suicide nigga . It dont stop till the wheels fall off. Kind of like tha pimp income mizzle youth in this country who see tha military as a way ta makes $ and yo momma. Oh, but tizzle you die so you can't enjoy tha $ n tha whole country is now against tha war so recruitments drizzay so low tizzy they is now admitt'n ex-cons ta mizzy military quotas . You gotta check dis shit out yo. Solution and yo momma! Mix in religion, so youths wizzy fizzight ta they own deaths ta support someone else's greed W-H-to-tha-izzich they'll cracka own a piece of---and fight it wit tha conviction of a-- dare I use tha actual word?--crusada. A fairy tale of an old dawg wit a long, white beard in heaven wizzle boost they morale as they kiznill themselves n Iraqi innocents like this and like that and like this and uh. I jiznust saw an anchor on CNN ask tha author of some new book on soldia n religion brotha or not faith makes fo` a playa soldia . Chill as I take you on a trip. The reply was yes, Rhymin' coz tizzle tha playa have worked out a rationale of why tizzle is over there fight'n . Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. Yeah, by side-stepp'n tha emphasis on peace W-H-to-tha-izzich is at tha core of every religion, just like muslims do. And if yo gods is so all-powerful, can somebody pleaze pray ta theirs fo` some good news? It's been a while since we've had any . Subscribe nigga, get yo issue.! Oh, sorry . Keep'n it gangsta dogg! I forgot in tha dogg pound. I guess I'm supposed ta be stoked tizzy tha sun comes up every day due ta "Him". Yeah. Thanks, god. I want ta be able ta see tha bombs ballin' on me, which is sent in yo name by a bunch of religious freaks who've perverted yo message, as clearly as possible now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe. Amen so i can get mah pimp on!