January 15, 2006

WARNING! NEW VIRUS!

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete
it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this
one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also
delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your
credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code,
screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you
attempt to play. It will program your phone auto
dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank.
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE
SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S
SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty
underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting
company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair
and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes"
message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it
will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair
dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full
bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags
from your mattresses and pillows, it will also
refill your skim milk with whole milk.

4 Comments:

Blogger g said...

Hmm... This sounds suspiciously like the song 'Bad Times' by Laika.

3:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha good times

5:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who ya talkin bout, ya'self......it could also be my former roomate, a big'ole evil trannie girl who was known for sneakin and peakin, I'll be damned if she ain't in the psycho ward today.

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Above: You must be Rupaul, talking about Bunny. : P

6:31 PM  

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